The Nothingness of Ben (6 page)

“Aunt Harriet brought some delicious mac and cheese,” said Jason.

“Mmmm,” Cade growled, rubbing his stomach. “Mac and cheese good.”

“There’s also another whole turkey defrosting in the bottom rack,” added Travis.

“How do you know that?” asked Quentin.

“I saw it on Saturday. Talked to your Aunt Julie about it.”

“Do you know anything about roasting a turkey?” Ben asked him.

“Nu-uh, but I know something about frying a turkey. What kinda Southern boy don’t know how to fry a turkey?”

“Our kind,” Ben and Quentin answered simultaneously.

“You boys are all hat and no cattle. I swear.”

“Then you are in charge of frying the turkey,” said Ben. “Whatever that means. For Christmas.”

“I can do that.”

“Can we just start Christmas now?” asked Cade.

Everyone looked at him. It was a great idea.

“Yes, Cade,” said Ben. “Christmas officially starts now.”

Chapter 5

C
HRISTMAS
began that night with a hefty meal of leftovers and a double feature of
Armageddon
and
Deep Impact
, with a young Elijah Wood, pre-Frodo Baggins. The five of them sat in the living room on the large, L-shaped double sofa, with Jason in the overstuffed chair. Travis had to work on Tuesday, so the Walsh boys watched the entire first season, all six episodes, of
The Walking Dead
. Ben thought it was a perfect way to spend the afternoon because, frankly, Rick Grimes and his family had it much worse.

On Tuesday evening, Travis returned and suggested a trip to the grocery store. Ben knew he should have thought of that. The leftovers were obviously not going to last forever. Eventually, Ben would need to address the daily basics of a household. Three boys ate a lot of food and produced a lot of dirty laundry. And how would the kitchen run?

Stop
, Ben thought.

All that would have to wait. Right now, Ben needed to focus on getting through the holidays. The boys were off from school until after the New Year, so he had two weeks to adjust to all this, and then he would think about long-term solutions to things like food and laundry.

So far, Ben had avoided Colin and David, his one absolute friend and the guy he had spent every night with before all this happened. He just couldn’t bring himself to call anyone right now. He knew his boss, one of the managing partners at Wilson & Mead, had already flown to Aspen and didn’t expect to hear from Ben until after the holidays. Christmas would arrive, without his parents, in only two days. Things would slowly shut down and come to a stop. Ben was looking forward to it. He could relax for a while and get reacquainted with his brothers. This Christmas didn’t have to be a complete disaster.

Travis and Ben left the boys behind and headed to the neighborhood grocery store. As they strolled up and down the long aisles, Travis seemed to have a plan—specific meals and recipes in his head—while Ben grabbed anything off the shelf that looked good. When he was in college, he used to get stoned with his friends at The Ben Pad and then walk over to this very store, wandering the aisles in a hemp haze. He quit smoking in law school, but a bong hit sounded pretty good right about now.

“Do you know anyone who sells weed?” asked Ben.

Travis looked at him, surprised.

“You smoke pot? Aren’t you an officer of the court or something?”

“Please. Austin is the San Francisco of the Southwest. Besides, I’m not going to keep it around the house or anything. I’m just saying if someone was thinking about what they wanted to get me for Christmas—hint, hint—a joint would be an excellent option. I promise to be very discreet.”

“You? Stoned? This I gotta see.”

“No observation without participation.”

“You saying we’re gonna get high together?”

Ben pulled a box of Cap’n Crunch off the shelf and changed the subject. “I need to say thank you again. I’m leaving a whole lot of slack in my wake and you’re turning into a lifesaver.”

“Stop, Ben. Really. I can’t take all this gratitude.”

“I mean it. You obviously came here with a meal plan. You know how you’re going to feed all five of us for the next week, don’t you? I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“Look, my mama didn’t do her job. So I learned how to put meals on the table. Ain’t no big deal.”

“Well, it’s a big deal to me.”

“You asked for my help, so… here we are.”

“Here we are,” Ben repeated.

“You’re grateful. I get it. Now let’s move on.”

Ben looked over at Travis, who opened up one of the refrigerated sections and pulled out a gallon of milk. On the one hand, Ben couldn’t deny certain facts. Travis looked sexy in a pair of red gym shorts and a black thermal shirt. He might find this whole
friendship
thing difficult after all. On the other hand, he couldn’t have anything blowing up in his face. If he did something to make Travis uncomfortable and he stopped coming around, his brothers would never forgive him.

“Then let me put it another way. Instead of saying thank you, I’ll just say it was cool last night. Having you around. And I’m glad you decided to come back.”

Travis looked up from the cart, smiling.

“I’m glad you feel that way. I miss your folks something awful too. They were like the Cohens to me.”

“The Cohens? You mean Kirsten and Sandy?”

“Yep.”

“You’re like an onion, aren’t you? First the sign language and now
The O.C.
”

“I got layers you ain’t never dreamed of, Obi-Wan.”

Is he flirting with me?
Ben thought.

That night, Travis served up his first real meal to the Walsh brothers—fried chicken and waffles—and afterward they enjoyed another high-octane double feature.

O
N
W
EDNESDAY
, Travis still had to work, even though it was Christmas Eve. After that, the shop would be closed until Monday. Ben had the afternoon to come up with a present for him. He at least had the forethought to grab all the gifts for his brothers while he’d scrambled to get to the airport the previous week. He and Quentin found their parents’ stash in one of the storage closets behind the garage. Quentin knew what belonged to whom, so he took care of wrapping and labeling everything.

“What do I put on the
From
part?” he asked Ben.

Ben thought about it. “Let’s go with,
Santa
. Hey, any ideas about a present for Travis?”

“He likes to fish. We went in together and got him a new rod and reel.”

“Fish?”

“And cook.”

“Nah,” Ben said, rejecting the idea. “I don’t want to get him a frying pan.”

“He talks about Alaska a lot. Says he wants to see a place where the sun never sets.”

“That’s perfect.”

Ben knew exactly what to get him.

He went out and made it back in time to wrap the present and stash it under the tree. That evening, Travis made dinner again, followed by another double feature. Cade had already fallen asleep by the time the credits rolled on the second movie. Travis put him to bed while Quentin and Jason headed upstairs.

“You’re welcome to stick around for a while,” Ben offered when he returned.

Travis smiled. “What time is it?”

Ben pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped the home button. “Eleven forty-eight.”

“Almost midnight. Close enough. Would you like to open your Christmas present?”

Ben sat upright when he heard the question. “Are you kidding me?”

Travis walked over to the front door, where his jacket was hanging. He reached into one of the pockets and pulled out a small box wrapped in green paper with gold wreaths. He waved the box and grinned. Ben got up and went over to the tree in the corner. He bent down and pulled out his gift for Travis.

“Shall we head out to the backyard?” asked Ben.

“Probably a good idea.”

They grabbed their jackets and went outside, heading to the backyard, where two nicely padded lounge chairs sat parallel to each other, with a small table between them.

“We forgot beverages. I’ll be right back.”

Ben ducked into the house and grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge. When he returned, Ben watched Travis kicking back on one of the chairs.
Still sexy
, he thought. He placed the two bottles on the table and sat down on the opposite chair, holding out his gift.

“For you.”

They exchanged boxes.

“You first,” said Travis.

“The suspense is killing me.”

Ben tore off the wrapping. Underneath he found a Kmart box. He removed the lid and smiled. He took the fat joint in his fingers and rolled it around before lifting it to his nose and inhaling deeply.

“Good shit?”

“So I’s told.”

Travis reached into his pocket and produced a lighter. “What about Betsy?” he asked.

Ben wondered how well Travis knew the tenant in the garage apartment. “She went back to Pittsburgh for the holidays. It’s cool.”

Travis handed the lighter to Ben, who sparked up the doobie and then passed it. The two men did some coughing and laughing before Ben felt the familiar buzz overtake him. They sat in silence for a few minutes, basking in the glow of the half-baked moon.

“So,” said Ben, “you referenced
The O.C.
Didn’t see that coming.”

“You imagine I don’t watch TV?”

“No. Of course not. I just imagine you watch sports channels or something like that.”

“So you imagine me?” Travis teased.

Ben felt his face flush. “I don’t imagine you. I have an impression of you. Which, by the way, has turned out to be wrong.”

“Nu-uh. I do watch a lot of sports. But I also love me a good teen soap. I remember when I was a freshman in high school, watching that first episode of
Dawson’s Creek.
Damn, I loved that show. You think my mama ever bought me an Xbox? Hell, no. So I watched a lot of TV. One day I discovered the original
90210
in repeats on SOAPnet. I watched every episode, all the way up to Kelly Taylor’s classic ‘I choose me’ speech. But frankly, I was happier than a pig on a spit when Joey finally picked Pacey. I was a huge Pacey fan. Joey and Pacey forever.”

“Wow. You turn into quite a Chatty Cathy when you’re stoned.”

Travis laughed. “Now, why you trying to make me feel all self-conscious like that?”

“Sorry, I don’t understand half the things that come out of my mouth sometimes.”

“That’s okay. I bet you don’t understand half the things that go into it either.”

Ben started laughing uncontrollably. “Damn, boy, you are good.”

Travis smiled in the moonlight.

“I liked
The O.C.
,” Ben continued. “But I always thought Ryan and Seth should’ve ended up banging each other.”

“Then it wouldn’t have been a bromance, now would it? So, tell me something about yourself. Tell me something I would never in a million years have guessed.”

Ben thought it over.

“Would you have ever guessed I smoke pot?”

“Never. And something tells me you don’t anymore, so I would have been right.”

“He said as he waved the joint around.”

“Something else.”

“Let’s see….” Ben, with a little help from the weed, decided to be bold. “I have a foot fetish.”

Travis looked over at him, his eyes wide.

“Really? Well, we ain’t holding back, now are we? But I got to admit, that’s a good one. Would have never guessed that in a million years.”

“I can surprise you. I led a spectacularly average life until I was twenty-two. And I think most people assume I still do. When they first meet me, I mean. But my life has been anything but average. A foot fetish only scratches the surface of my bad-boy charm.”

Travis snorted.

“There ain’t no such thing as a bad boy with clean fingernails. What happened when you were twenty-two?”

“I was a senior at UT and decided to take the LSAT.”

“That a test?”

“Yeah. It’s what law schools use to decide admissions. I scored a 176.”

“Is that good?”

“That’s write-your-own-ticket good. I got into Harvard but it wasn’t for me, so I went to Columbia instead. I wanted to live in New York.”

“Harvard? What was that like? People noticing you, I mean, paying attention like that.”

Ben paused.

“It was a head rush. Turns out the law is the one thing I do better than almost anyone else. I graduated top of my class. Had all the big firms in Manhattan trying to hire me. And at the same time, I was hanging out with Colin Mead.”

“He the guy you’re dating?”

“No, that’s David. Colin was one of the first people I met when I moved to New York. He was first-year law at Columbia too. One day, he sat next to me in Civil Procedure, spilled coffee all over my bag, and then brought me a much nicer one the next day as an apology. He comes from old-school, Upper East Side money. His grandfather is one of the founding partners of the firm where I work. By the time we graduated, I was like a member of the family, so it was a natural fit. They’re grooming me to be Manhattan’s next great litigator.”