The Nothingness of Ben (27 page)

Travis began to stir under his touch, rubbing his foot against Ben’s stomach. Ben dipped his head and kissed Travis’s ass, moving up kiss by kiss to the small of his back and rubbing his forehead there, inhaling the smell of his shirt. Everything that was good about them returned. His hands moved further up Travis’s back, massaging the sore muscles underneath cotton as he went. Travis reached around and pulled Ben closer, grabbing a fistful of his T-shirt.

They had managed to put off sex for two days because Travis wanted to get STD screens. “Look,” he told Ben, “I haven’t had sex with anyone but you. Not since Trisha and I broke up.”

“And I haven’t had sex with anyone but you. Not since David and I broke up.”

“Then if all our tests come back negative, I want to get rid of the condoms.”

“That means you must trust me.”

Travis didn’t hesitate. “With my life.”

That morning, they’d called the special twenty-four-hour number for test results. As expected, everything came back negative.

Ben reached around and rubbed Travis’s chest. Travis traced his fingers up Ben’s body and along his arm until he joined his own hand with Ben’s, intertwining their fingers. Their bodies contracted together into a sinewy embrace. Ben loved the feeling of Travis underneath him as he scooted up, bearing his full weight down. He moved a lock of Travis’s hair and nuzzled against the nape of his neck, nibbling on his ear lobe. Travis grunted audibly as Ben started to grind against him. Again, Travis reached back to pull Ben closer, more completely on top of him. He pushed his ass into the air to increase the friction against Ben’s hardening cock, still trapped inside his Levi’s. Ben touched Travis’s chin and turned his head toward him. God, how he’d missed this.
He kissed him—joyful and sorrowful and glorious.

For the first time since his parents’ death, Ben saw clear waters.

“I’m glad you’re moving in,” he said into Travis’s ear.

“Are you sure about this?”

“I’m sure. We’ve earned it, don’t you think?”

They kissed again and Travis moved onto his back and ran his fingers through Ben’s hair. Ben reached down and undid the fly of Travis’s blue jeans. He had to stop kissing Travis for a second so that he could focus on his task. Once Ben got his pants open, he grabbed Travis’s thick cock through the moist gray fabric of his briefs. He used rough strokes and returned to Travis’s lips. Travis undid Ben’s belt and opened up his fly, wrapping his hand around the bulge inside his boxers.

“I missed this.”

“And it has missed you too.”

Travis laughed.

“Oh,” Ben said, “you weren’t talking about my dick?”

“Nu-uh, I was. You just crack me up.”

“Still?”

“Still.”

The head of Travis’s dick appeared at the edge of his underwear. Ben pulled the briefs back and revealed his prize in all its rigid glory. He stared at it, mesmerized. Travis pulled Ben’s dick through the fly of his boxers. They stroked each other and kissed again, deeper this time. Cocks, lips, hands, tongues, bodies—Ben wanted it all at once. They lay on the sofa and made out for a long time, their jeans pushed open like two teenagers going to second base, their hard cocks jutting out into their hands. Ben pushed Travis’s jeans down, cupped his balls, and then ran his fingertips along the inside of his thighs. They continued making out as Ben rose to his knees. Travis reached up and peeled Ben’s shirt off before removing his own. Ben slid to the floor, pulling on Travis’s jeans and turning them inside out as he ripped them off. Travis sat up on the sofa, completely naked, with Ben kneeling on the floor between his legs. Still in his blue jeans, Ben leaned forward and licked Travis’s nut sac, darting his tongue over the smooth skin, then up and down the shaft, up and down again. He looked at Travis as he teased his cock.

“What you grinning at?” Travis asked.

“You.”

Ben lifted his balls and licked the musky skin underneath. Up and down, back and forth, shaft then balls. Ben licked the sensitive head, which made Travis thrust his hips into the air. He hooked two fingers around the base of Travis’s cock and pulled it down. He put the head into his mouth and shook it back and forth across his open lips. Then he bobbed his head and took the entire cock into his mouth at once. As Ben enthusiastically continued, Travis sat back and closed his eyes, tugging gently on the ring in his right nipple.

After a lengthy blow job, Ben stood up and pushed his jeans and boxers to the floor, discarding them with a toss of his foot. Travis stretched out on the couch, looking up at him.

“Come here.”

Ben lay down on top of him, pushing his cock into the space between Travis’s legs. Ben kissed his neck and pulled him in close. The heat from their bodies created enough sweat that they slid easily against each other. Ben inched his way forward and up, until he was bent on one knee, straddling Travis’s chest. He grabbed Travis by his long hair and fed him his cock. Travis unleashed his hunger. He made no attempt to hide how much he loved sucking Ben’s dick as he reached down and stroked his own thick hard-on. Ben withdrew from Travis’s mouth and looked down at him.

“I love you, Atwood. You know that, right?”

“I love you too, Obi-Wan. Now lay back and let me suck your cock.”

Ben sat back and stretched out against the opposite end of the sofa. Travis flipped around so that Ben could cradle him between his legs. He wrapped his fingers around the base of Ben’s cock and started sucking. Ben reached down and ran his fingers through Travis’s hair, occasionally taking control and forcing him to bob up and down, sometimes slower, sometimes faster. After sucking furiously for several minutes, Travis lifted up and hovered over Ben, his eyes and smile wild, saying,

“The earth is flat.”

Ben looked at him, puzzled.

“Okay….”

“The earth is flat.”

“What is this?”

“Come on,” Travis teased. “Aren’t you Mr. Pad and Pencil? Let’s play a game.”

Ben considered his options and decided he could handle himself just fine.

“Okay, let’s play.” He paused. “But in that case, the earth is not flat. It’s round.”

Travis accepted the response and dropped his head, taking Ben’s cock back into his mouth. He sucked and stroked him toward the edge of climax. As Ben started to signal his proximity to orgasm, Travis pulled his mouth away, though he continued to stroke Ben’s cock. Once again, he said, “The earth is flat.”

“No,” Ben responded. “The earth is round.”

Travis put Ben’s dick into his mouth again, twirling his tongue around as he pushed the head to the back of his throat. It got stuck there for a moment, struggling against Travis’s gag reflex, and then finally pushed past like a barreling rod. Ben restrained himself for a few seconds, but eventually he grabbed Travis by the back of the head and started fucking his throat. As he was about to come, Travis pulled away again.

“Fuck!” Ben protested. “This is not fair.”

Travis looked up into his eyes, his lips glistening. “The earth is flat.”

“What is this game?” Ben yelled. “The earth is fucking round.”

Travis went down on him yet again, slowing down this time, teasing, edging, sucking Ben’s cock into his mouth in long strokes. Finally, he pushed it deep into his throat again and kept it there until tears welled up in his eyes. Ben had reached his limit. Six months he’d gone without sex. He rammed his cock against the back of Travis’s throat, suppressing his moans so that maybe he could come unannounced. Travis knew all his tells, though, and as Ben got close, Travis pinned his wrists to his side and pulled away a third time. His eyes flashed like a mad man, wet and frantic. Again, he growled, “The earth is flat.”

“What do you want from me?” Ben cried in frustration. “Please, just let me come.”

“The earth is flat.”

A ferocity passed through Ben that started in his stomach, rose up through his throat, and then shot out of his eyes like a laser beam.

“Suck my cock!” he demanded playfully, laughing.

Travis grinned but didn’t comply. He continued to stroke the tip of Ben’s erection, edging him further into distractedness. “The earth is flat.”

“Please,” Ben pleaded, trying to retain control of his sanity. But his flesh had reached the breaking point and he gave up, collapsing onto his back. “Okay,” he whimpered. “Uncle. The earth is flat. The earth is fucking flat.”

“I love you,” Travis said.

“Then get me off,” Ben begged.

Travis lifted Ben’s legs, raising them into the air. He pushed Ben’s knees to his ears and licked at his ass crack. Ben moaned as Travis moved up to kiss him.

“So,” Travis said. “Here we are.”

“Here we are.”

“We belong together,” Travis continued.

“We belong together,” Ben repeated.

“The earth is flat.”

“The earth is flat.”

“I want you to fuck me.”

“I want you to….” Ben hesitated, but only for a moment. “… fuck me. I want you to fuck me.”

Travis buried his face in Ben’s butt, rimming his hole with enthusiasm. The tongue work sent shivers through Ben’s body as he lifted his legs higher. Travis moved up and kissed him again, intertwining their hands and breath, pressing Ben’s knees to his chest.

“You promise to never push me out of your life again?”

“Yes,” Ben answered.

“No matter what comes our way?”

“I promise. Cross my heart and hope to….”

Ben nuzzled his face against Travis’s stubble, knowing full well what he had just agreed to.

Unconditional surrender.

The tip of Travis’s cock sat poised at his asshole. Travis spit on his hand and slicked himself up, pushing slightly against Ben’s sphincter. At first Ben resisted, but then Travis kissed him again and he opened up.

“Count to eight,” Travis instructed.

“One, two….”

As he counted, Ben said good-bye to everything he thought he knew about sex and love. Travis entered him and he allowed it, wanted it, even. Travis had brought him so close to the edge of orgasm that the base of his spine tingled as he inched his cock into Ben’s now inviting ass.

“… seven, eight.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Nu-uh,” answered Ben.

Travis began to fuck him, and once that started, it became clear they weren’t going to last long. Ben pulled Travis close and whispered into his ear, “You’re the only man to ever fuck me without a condom. To ever come inside me.”

The very notion sent a shock wave through their body, considering they now felt more singular than plural. Travis quickened his pace.

“Do it,” Ben pleaded, his eyes rolling back into his head.

A few moments later Travis reared up like a mustang as his cock swelled and exploded. He opened his mouth in a silent scream as Ben reached down and stroked his own hard cock, shooting thick sprays of come across his chest and stomach. Travis collapsed on top of him, trembling and gasping. Their lips met and they rubbed their faces together.

“See?” Travis said. “I told you. The earth is flat.”

“Yes,” Ben agreed, pulling Travis into him. “The earth is definitely flat.”

Chapter 18

A
FTER
he moved in, Travis blended seamlessly back into their lives. One night, Ben realized he needed to move fast if he wanted to include Travis in their plans for Thanksgiving. Colin had been urging Ben to bring his brothers back to Manhattan and give it another chance, if for no other reason than to get rid of the stink from the last trip. Since Ben had no intention of missing Thanksgiving with the Meads, he’d bought plane tickets for himself and his brothers back in August.

“Do you want to go?” Ben asked him, chopping vegetables for a salad. Ben enjoyed being Travis’s sous-chef.

“Come on, Ben. What do you think?”

“I don’t know. You hated it last time.”

Travis shook his head. “Things are different now. Do you think I want to stay here and spend Thanksgiving alone when my family is up in New York?”

“But Colin is having another dinner party on Friday night.”

“And I’ll be fine and dandy,” Travis assured him. “Unless you don’t want me to—”

“Never mind,” Ben said, cutting him off. “I’m calling the airline now to see if they can change our seats around when I add you. And we’ll need to get you a tux as well.”

“Seriously?”

“The old man hosts Thanksgiving dinner at the St. Regis. It’s formal. The boys already have theirs.”

“The old man?”

“Joseph Mead, Colin’s grandfather. It’s a big shindig.”

Jason came into the kitchen as Ben got on the phone to the airline. “What’s for dinner?” he asked.

“Chicken-fried steak,” Travis answered.

“You didn’t get the grisly stuff, did you?”

Travis chuckled. “No, Jason, I specifically did not get the grisly stuff.”

Ben put his phone on speaker, filling the kitchen with canned elevator music. “I’m on hold.”

Quentin and Cade came in from the living room.

“Smells good,” Quentin said.

“Who are you on hold with?” asked Jason.

“The airline. I have to get a ticket for Travis. For Thanksgiving.”

“If boyfriends are invited, can Jake come too?”