The Nothing (14 page)

Nick rose
and spoke again, “There are also issues with his church building being unsafe and dangerous to his members. Aside from the roof that I provided way back, I have sent plumbers and electricians to check on his place to make sure there aren’t any hazards or to fix things if they need fixing. But they are always turned away. Once he threatened to call the cops if they showed back up. Of course I told them to stay put in case Ben came to his senses but that didn’t happen. Ben is greedy and people are going to get injured by continuing to attend his church. Job, would you like to let us in on what is happening at the Commissioner’s office?”

“Sure Pastor.
Pastor Ben’s House of Worship sits on seven acres of land along the Mencia Fault line on the southeast side of town. One of Manny’s dealerships is in the area and has also had structural issues related to the fault; which we have taken care of because he is such a good friend of the county. The last two county inspections on Pastor Ben’s House of Worship indicated a lack of structural integrity. In other words, the building is not that sound and as the fault moves along, the building becomes increasingly unstable. In my opinion, it could fall at any time. The commissioner doesn’t seem concerned since the report didn’t indicate any measurement of regression. But I can write a more specific report tomorrow that includes regression measurements if Pastor Ben doesn’t want to cooperate. Pastor Nick has agreed to assume all responsibility for bringing the building back to code. And in that case, the most appropriate thing would be for Pastor Ben to sign over the property. For God and for the souls of our fellow man, we need to do this.”

Damn they are really going to go after this guy.
I know of him from the vacation bible school stuff and Nick has mentioned him in his sermons as their sister church. But gosh, it is a small neighborhood church in a low-income area. These people don’t want a fancy big building with valets. They want access to their God. I better speak up.

Bob raised
his hand as if he were back in school. “Ok, let me see if I am getting the picture here. You guys want to run House of Worship out of business. If this guy Ben won’t return the favors you have done for him, then you want to take all he has. Manny, you gifted him the car. Unless there is a signed agreement, you can’t attach conditions. The car is Ben’s now. And as far as the building and land, Ben doesn’t have to sign anything. Code violations have to process through the district clerk’s office. What does the county commissioner’s office have to do with it? What do you have to do with appraisals? Or am I lost on this jurisdictional thing? Pastor Ben doesn’t have to stand with an accused child molester if he doesn’t want to. It is his choice and you shouldn’t require it of him. Sounds like a bunch of bullying to me. This guy doesn’t have any money, has a shitty building on seven acres with a fault line. I would put my attention and money somewhere else.”

Silence filled the room with a deafening roar
. Everyone looked at Bob. Nick, Manny, and Job sat there shaking their heads. Nick scooted his chair forward just like an interventionist looking at a drug addict pleading with them to get help.

“Bob, you are not getting the big picture here.
Houston Baptist Ministries is going international. To further what I am trying to do, we need Ben’s place. He owes me so much and we are even doing him a favor by taking the place off his hands. We are freeing many preachers from their burdens. Ben is the only one that has challenged us like this. We must meet the insults with more action. Manny cares about him, which is why he gave him the car. We are asking for the friendships to be reciprocated.”

I don’t like where this is going.
I have been in politics long enough to read between the lines. Nick’s pride is hurt because Ben didn’t bow down to him. Manny wants Ben to vouch for him and I doubt that this Pastor Ben would never do anything like that, for a man who cheated on his wife with a thirteen year old girl! Job must be that guy Nick mentioned years ago that use to be a George, an insurance salesman that helped people set their houses on fire to collect the insurance while George gets a cut. Only now George is a Job who was never a George. And those guys filling up the office with cigar smoke. Are they just decoration?

“Say Nick, who are these other guys?

“Well Bob, that guy there is Lincoln Parks, my attorney. Next to him is Assistant Chief McAllen from the Houston Police. Then there is Frank, John, and Rich. Friends of mine who do whatever I need. I wouldn’t ask any more questions Bob. Just listen to what we need you to do. We have a solution that would benefit everyone. Sometimes God works in ways that are considered unethical and illegal. But it is what is needed when you are at war with the devil. Now we need you to listen to us carefully and with the love of Jesus in your heart.” The whole meeting was becoming insulting to Bob. “I’m listening.”

“You will schedule a community rally.
It will take place in Hoskins Park across the street from Ben’s church. You will advertise that he will be a guest speaker at the rally. Only he isn’t going to show. You will schedule the rally for Labor Day at the end of summer. I know it is three months or so away, but I got shit to do this summer. You will invite several activists and speakers to discuss the needs of the community. It will make you look good. You’ll be the Washington big wig willing to hang out with the common folk.”

“That’s it?
That’s the only thing you need of me?”

“Bob we are a team.
We all have parts in the path to serving God. Can you do this?”

Now I am confused.
Have a rally across the street from his church; list Pastor Ben as a speaker who doesn’t show? My gut is telling me that this is one of those situations where I should do what is asked and not ask questions. That is how it works in politics sometimes. Plausible deniability? I get this vibe from these guys that they want more than a reciprocal friendship with Ben. I get the feeling that something bloody will happen. I have been an accomplice to bloody messes before. It is what’s necessary sometimes to benefit the greater good. I’ll do it. I don’t like it but I will do it. It’s part of being a politician.

“Yeah Nick, I can do it.
I will have Beverly make the arrangements. I will be in Washington for a few days so I better go and get packing.”

The men in the room stood one by one and shook Bob’s hand.
Each nodded in an appreciative way as if Bob was going into battle. But he had no idea what the big picture was and didn’t want to know. Bob has always been fine with not knowing and feels it is one virtue that has kept his political career safe.

Bob walked out of the big fancy office and was met by the valet at the elevator.
I hate meetings. Sometimes I wish I had become a carpenter or computer whiz.

The valet looked at him with a
mischievous grin, “You did great in there sir. I would say you fit right in. I can see great things happening for you.”

“Thanks, I think.”

After Bob had left the room, Nick spoke to the rest of the men.

“I told you he would be a team player.
Bob Austin hesitates, which is not good, but he does come through. I know he can be a pussy sometimes. He would have a problem with someone shooting at him at the rally, but I want him to act natural. And he will be safe because Rich will tackle him when the shots ring out. John is good at getting in, taking the shot, and getting out. Frank will be good at getting a photograph of Pastor Ben holding the gun. All for the Glory of God bitches!”

Assistant Chief
McAllen, who had been sitting quietly on the couch the whole time, walks to Nick and pats him on the back. “No offense, but you are an evil motherfucker.” Nick turned around, “Yo Chief, I am many things, but evil is not one of them.” Nick stepped close to the Chief and put a hand on his shoulder. “There are those of us who seek to further progress for God, for business, or for mankind. Doesn’t matter. And there are those that inhibit progress. I am for the out with the old, in with the new. Old stuff rots, mildews and breaks. The old does nothing good for people. Pastor Ben’s church, like all the others that we have adopted, isn’t safe for people. How can they get business done if the place smells, is making people sick or God forbid, falls apart and hurts someone?” Chief McAllen grins and says, “Hey preacher, I’m all for that. You know me. Just wondering ‘cause sometimes you don’t seem so religious. Sometimes you seem more concerned about money and yourself. Like I said, no offense.” Nick pats him on the back and goes to his desk. He motions for Manny to come close. “You talk to your guy in Juarez and let him know that the September delivery is on. Even if I have to stack the shit in this office, I want this deal.” Manny was happy. “Well Nick that would be very generous and risky. But do whatever you can to get that church torn to the ground. I need that spot. It would be the perfect spot. It is a bad idea to funnel meth through this office. I trust you can make this work. Well, anyways, I’m out of here. See you on the other side of Heaven preacher man!”

Two other
guys, John and Frank, walked over. Frank taps on the desk as Nick shakes hands with Manny. “Pastor, we got something to bring to your attention.” Nick leans back in his chair with a confident flare. “Bring it on fellas.” Frank looks at John, who nods and looks at Nick. In his thick New Jersey accent, Frank asks, “Sir you got a deacon named Ed Penick?” Nick slowly moves his head back and forth, “Not that I know of, why?”

“Well, you need to keep track of the people working for you in the church.
Word around is that he has a recording and that he wants to meet with you.” Nick leaned forward and was concerned. “A recording? Of me?”

“Yep you guessed it.
But don’t take my word for it. Just heard some talk around that he got a tape or something from this Pastor Ben of you threatening him and shit.” John put his hand on Franks shoulder; he wants to say something. John’s accent was even thicker. “Gentlemen if I may, a guy from the Chronicle who is friends with this Penick fellow called me. Knew I worked for the church so he called me. This guy Ed Penick had gone to him and asked what would be the best thing to do with the tape. Of course my buddy wanted to publish the tape but wanted to check with me first. But before I threatened him and his family’s lives, this Penick character decided to not go public. That God was telling him he needed to only address this with you; For the sake of your soul or some shit. Cause supposedly you said some serious shit on that tape.”

“
I don’t get it. When would he have had the chance to record me saying anything damaging? We scan this place for bugs often as well. Any word on when he would like to speak to me?” John shrugged his shoulders. “I guess he will call you when he calls you. Think about how you want to handle this. Reason with him. Use your charm or something.” Nick was nervous and the men could see it. Frank had his concerns with something bloody happening. “Whatever this guy is up to, first things first, you going to have to reason with him Nick. This guy is a prominent member of the church, has a contact in the news. Be grateful that he is going to talk to you first. Gives you a chance to reason and use diplomacy. It is always better that way.” Then Nick asks, “If that doesn’t work, then what should I do then?” Frank was rubbing his hands together nervously. “Nick, this can’t be another situation that gets bloody. This church is too important. It has worked well for all of us.” Nick nodded in agreement. “Yes guys, don’t worry. I will talk to him and reason.”

I will give
Ed Penick no choice but to be reasonable.

The c
utter

“He is good!
He is the Lord! He is right there sitting next to you Mrs. Dorsey. And Mrs. Jameson, he knows your struggle. He knows all of your struggles. Being here today, on this wonderful Sabbath, shows the Lord that we are his faithful servants. It is a servitude that is unconditional, unwavering, unbreakable, and praise be to God! Amen my brothers and sisters!”

This is where Martha
Diaz starts to feel better. Pastor Ben’s words erased the sadness that walked in the front doors with her. His sermons always seemed to be directed at her. Each person at Pastor Ben’s House of Worship felt the same way when Pastor Ben preached. After a week of work, mundane chores, and errands, it felt good to know that God was still there. One thing was for sure, by Sunday mornings, she was ready for something to take the tightness out of her chest. Every morning when the alarm clock went off, Martha would feel engulfing tension as she tiredly rose out of bed to begin another routine day. The pressure in her chest was like a tight belt being looped around her upper torso which was tightened each time she realized it was time to get up. Church is what kept Martha alive though. It was the belief in Heaven and God that gave her purpose. Yet at times it felt like a tiny purpose. In the face of adversity and pain throughout her life, this tiny purpose was one thing that kept the air flowing into her lungs one breath at a time.

Just keep breathing.
One step to the next. One meal to the next. One breath to the next. Just keep breathing. I have to for my Raymond. He will be home soon. It will be hard on him coming back home after such horrible experiences over there. After three tours, he is going to need his Mama's love more than anything. I too, will need his love more than anything. I don’t want to go to work. It hurts too much.

***

“Good morning Martha, how did your weekend go?”

“Hmm it was good Wilton.
Just went to church and watched Teem Mom on MTV.”

“Well you are
extremely late. An hour and a half late might I add. I need to you to work Claudia’s floors again. And say, aren’t you too old to be watching Teen Mom?” Martha wasn’t interested in small talk at that point. “Do I have to work my floors too?”

“Yeah, it would be good for you to get the overtime.”

It took me all weekend to get all the soreness out of me because Claudia wasn’t here last Thursday or Friday. I can only clean so much after these business slobs. You would figure that a man in a business suit making who knows how much money, wouldn’t pee all over the toilet like he is blind or in high school. Just look at all the marble walls, granite counter tops, brass knobs and faucets! There are even cotton towels and fancy toilet paper with scents and fancy designs. And what is the freakin’ idea behind scented toilet paper anyhow? They be sniffing butts!

Martha
read the weekly calendar on the easel board in the custodial locker room. Wilton only mentioned working Claudia’s floors for today. Yet it shows that Claudia will be out until Thursday. It made Martha’s stomach cringe because now she is going to be working at least twenty extra hours this week. She resented Claudia because she called off from work so much and the extra work would fall on other custodians. Claudia just happens to be married to the owner of a fence company and is never short of money. So when she wants to take time off from work, she does so with no worries. It just pisses everyone off because they don’t fire her. Wilton pushes the extra load on Martha and her coworkers.
They know she is always going to call in. Why don’t they replace her with someone who will work and who needs the work? It really burdens the rest of us. Tina says that Wilton is sleeping with Claudia, but I don’t believe it.

In the Shelton Greenway building near downtown, there are twenty-seven floors.
Eighteen women are in charge of cleaning the restrooms, emptying office and common area trash bins, vacuuming carpets twice a week, mopping floors, and dusting office furniture.
If they decide that I have to wipe rich asses, then I am going to need a raise.
Martha was responsible for floors eleven and twelve. Claudia, when she was there, cleaned twenty-five through twenty-seven. The top floors were the easiest because there were half the restrooms and not as many trash bins to clean out. A large law firm occupied those floors and had areas with sensitive materials that only maids working directly for the law firm had access to.

Martha and her coworkers often wondered how Claudia got the easy gig.
Blowjob queen.
Wilton claims that since Claudia isn’t at work enough, she would get the floors that would be less likely to be neglected. Yet he would still pull people to cover her workload.
If it won’t be neglected when she is not here, then why do you still need to pull me and other people to go clean her floors?

Martha is supposed to be at
work by 7 a.m. But today she stayed in bed too long. Her alarm had gone off at 5:30 a.m. like usual. She also heard the usual cars outside leave their parking spots. Yet the will to roll out of bed wasn’t there.
Someday I will have a car. One thing I like about living at the Guinevere Apartments is that you get your own parking space. I hopefully can save up and get one before Raymond comes home. He said he would buy me one but I would rather he use his money for himself. My Raymond works so hard.

Before
Raymond left for the army, he liked to work on cars with a neighbor who owns an auto repair shop next to the complex. He would come home smelling like he had been rolling around in grease and gasoline. That smell would be joyful to Martha because that meant Raymond was around. He would always put her in a good mood. On days when she was most tired and depressed, that smell coming through the door meant happiness. Raymond was just an all around positive person. Sometimes his jokes and positive outlook did more for her than Pastor Ben’s Sunday sermons.

“Hey Ma, I like Pastor Ben.
I like that you go to that church. You are lucky that the bus line goes straight there. Otherwise we would have had to find you another church after dad died. So what did you do today?”

“W
ent to work and came home.”

“That’s it?
Oh come on Ma! Give me the juice on the scandals at work. Did you slip those kneepads into Claudia’s locker yet? Make sure you write ‘from Wilton with 30 seconds of love!”

“I haven’t got the nerve yet…” Martha laughed and kept giggling when she tried to speak again.
“Breath Mom! Breath like the lion that you are! Don’t make me have a cute doctor do mouth to mouth on you. He just might marry you!” Raymond started doing a gorilla like sound, which made Martha laugh even harder. She began to feel faint and dizzy. “What about you mister suave? You going to marry anyone soon?”

“Oh yeah for sure!
When I can afford the payments I am going to marry the prostitute that lives in building 3. Right now I can only afford to be married for one hour a week!”

“Ok crazy boy, I am going to pass out if you don’t stop making me laugh!”

Times like those helped her forget that he had enlisted in the Army. She would forget that he was going to be in the infantry and then try out for the especially dangerous Army Rangers. Raymond wasn’t outwardly patriotic. Defending freedom or serving his country weren’t topics he discussed. Fact is, for a young man who lives in poverty, the military seemed like the best choice. “It’s ok Ma, you know I am a survivor and wouldn’t do anything stupid. If I make it far in the military, it will help with a good career later on and pay for auto mechanics school.” When it came to Raymond first joining the Army, Martha didn’t say much or didn’t know what to say. Her husband’s death from lung cancer when Raymond was ten, made her numb to many things. Even though her son would be doing a job in the military that resulted in the most casualties, Martha didn’t allow herself to think about it.

Right now,
Raymond is on his third tour in Iraq and was thinking of making the Army a career. Soon after he finished boot camp and completed Advanced Infantry training, he was selected for the Rangers course. Soon after that, he made it through Special Forces selection and has been excelling ever since. It was a success neither he nor Martha could have ever envisioned. But with each success, she hoped that he could be at home longer. Instead, his deployments became longer, sporadic, and unpredictable. Often he wasn’t able to tell her where he was going or for how long. His phone calls became less frequent. Once, it was six months that Martha didn’t hear from him. And no one on his base had any answers. One clerk even said that he was no longer in the Army and hung up quickly when Martha demanded to speak to the Colonel. Those were very weird occurrences that other Army mothers didn’t experience with their military children. But when Raymond did call, it was as if he had never left. He was still the same Raymond who was the apple of his mother’s eye and made her laugh every time. Everyone at Martha’s work knew Raymond and how well he was doing in the Army. She walked with her head high when she thought about it.

Yet
on this day when she got into the elevator to begin her workday, the thought of death overcame her. Where it came from, she didn’t know.
What will my life be like if he dies? I remember when Hector passed, I felt like my short life on Earth was over. I couldn’t even find the energy to kill myself. Having little Raymond around helped. I’ve always had dreams of raising a family and growing old with my husband. Now I live for Raymond. I may not take care of him anymore, but I still live for him. He still needs a home. You never stop raising your children. Even when they are old and have families of their own, you never stop raising them. I guess what I am doing now is what I will be doing if he is killed. And this isn’t really that great.

As
Martha walked into the first woman’s restroom she was to clean that day, the stink came close to making her vomit. Martha struggled to keep her composure and took a minute to relax herself. While she was doing that, a woman in the first stall loudly farted and giggled. Martha wondered if the woman even knew she was in there. It took a good amount of will for her to not laugh. She used to never laugh at farts. That changed as Raymond got older.

Then a
loud high-pitched ringtone on the farting woman’s phone jolted Martha like a thunderclap.
Wow that ringtone made me freak! All these weird ringtones they have out now.
Martha didn’t know anyone, beside herself, that didn’t have a cell phone. The woman’s voice wasn’t any less weird.

“Hey my bitch, waz
up? Yeah I got that tweet and fired it right back at the bitch. She thinks that a Twitter war is going to do her any good? Wait until she finds out that he got me pregnant! I am going to post it on Facebook so when she looks at his wall, she will see the happy announcement… …Yeah we used a condom, but I am ok with it. I am going to keep it. There is nothing better than the unconditional love of a baby… …Ha ha fuck you! I don’t need a puppy! Besides, it will help him realize that I truly love him and then he will be with me. I know him well enough… …No girl, she don’t work. She doesn’t have anything on me. My practice is doing well, I just got elected to the American Association of Psychologist board, and I have clients through the motherfucking roof… …Ok bitch. Oh one more thing, I almost shit my pants again, but I made it in here just in time! Hey meet for drinks later? I got to get the drinking out of my system so I don’t hurt the baby… …Ok byes!”

Martha casually walked down to the last stall as the psychologist
flushed and left the restroom without washing her hands. It disgusted Martha how unsanitary people can be. Many times she has been in the woman’s restroom while other women were in there, which was permitted since she is a woman too. Martha estimated that eighty percent of the time, women didn’t wash their hands. She didn’t even want to think about how the men were. Yet these types of things amused Martha. Seeing the practices of people that are considered classy by society, made her feel better about herself because many of those people were filthy.
So shrinks are human after all! Just wonder if they are all as nasty as this one?

The rest of the morning was less eventful.
Everything felt more mundane and taxing than usual. Thoughts of Raymond possibly dying left Martha feeling lost. She was upset, but calm. Stressed but happy.
I don’t know what it is going on with me today.
I just want to get the day over with. Oh wait! It isn’t going to be finished for a while since Claudia won’t be here. But I have this feeling in my gut. What is it? I can’t let myself think what I thought about this morning. I will go and get that cell phone today! Raymond will be excited. I will even get one of those that have all the moving stuff on the front. I think they call them apps? I can finally make a Facebook account, an email account, and maybe find recipes.

By the time that Martha was done with
half her floors, it was lunchtime. The building was beginning to clear from people heading out to lunch, which meant no one would be around and it would be quieter. She took her cart on the elevator back to the basement where the custodial locker room was. As the elevator passed the first floor, Martha thought she heard people yelling or talking loudly. Which was unusual for that time of the day. She assumed that it would be quiet and everyone would have left for lunch. It didn’t take long before the loud voices left her mind and the thoughts of her turkey and cheese sandwich took over. The custodial locker room was around the same size as a four-car garage. On one wall there is a line of tall lockers. On the other was a large easel board that has the monthly calendar and daily assignments along with other information and notices. One notice caught her eye.