The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: Sexual Secrets Every Couple Should Know (25 page)

• Finding the W ay
  

  Rotating Your Sacrum
  

  At first your rotations will probably come from your hips and pelvis, since, unless you do a lot of Latin or African dance, you are probably not accustomed to rotating your sacrum. Give it time, but eventually you will be able to spiral, to “screw,” with subtle movements of your sacrum. To isolate your sacrum, you can put one hand on your pubis and one hand on your sacrum (just below your spine between your buttocks). Now try to spiral left and right. Next, try tilting your pubis up as you push your tailbone (the base of your sacrum) forward (curving your back out slightly), and then try tilting your penis down as you push your tailbone back (arching your spine slightly). Once you’ve isolated your sacrum, you can really screw.
  

  

  Getting Really Hot
  

  As the man gets highly aroused and close to the point of ejaculation, he and his partner can encourage him to slow down (stop if necessary) and do the deep breathing and
  PC
  muscle contractions to hold off ejaculation. While this momentary pause may seem like a nuisance at first, it will soon be forgotten as his ejaculatory control and eventual multiple orgasms allow far longer and more satisfying lovemaking. As the man masters his breathing and
  PC
  muscle, these pauses will be less frequent and less noticeable. In addition, both partners can circulate energy away from their genitals and through their bodies as we described in the previous chapter.
  

  The multiple orgasms will increase the man’s energy greatly, and not ejaculating will allow him to remain more yang. He will desire his partner more and become aroused more quickly. Of course, if the man has a lot of yang energy and either partner just wants to go to sleep, he can always ejaculate. In addition, both partners can circulate energy away from their genitals and through their bodies.
  

  In the next chapter, we also discuss various practices and positions for profound health as well as pleasure, but first let us summarize the practices we have been discussing above.
  

  

  THE ART OF INTERCOURSE
  

LINGERING: The Taoists strongly recommended that a couple wait until the woman is extremely wet and yearning for intercourse. Entering too early, they believed, does not allow the sexual energy to enter her genitals and to make the lovemaking most healing and energizing. We also know that having intercourse too soon does not allow time for the woman to become fully engorged and results in her genitals being less sensitive and less stimulated by penetration. Still, lingering does not rule out quickies; it simply means that the man must pay special attention to making sure that his partner is highly aroused, lubricated, and eager for intercourse. His mouth can expedite this state of things greatly.

SHALLOW AND DEEP: Varying the depth of thrusts is one of the most important Taoist techniques. The Taoists knew that by varying the depth a couple can stimulate different parts of the penis and vagina. The Taoists also recommended varying shallow and deep thrusts as a way of allowing the man to control his ejaculation so he can be multi-orgasmic and help his partner to be also. The long deep thrusts are often very stimulating to the man as he stimulates the head of his penis along the whole length of his partner’s vagina and enters into her tight cul-de-sac. Shallow thrusts can often be less intense for him while still quite stimulating for her.

SHORT DEEP THRUSTS: The real Taoist secret of male ejaculatory control and female satisfaction during intercourse is the short deep thrust. Here, the man remains deep inside his partner and thrusts forward and back, pressing both against her deep vaginal walls with his penis and against her clitoris with his pubic bone. By not moving in and out very much, the man does not highly stimulate himself but deeply pleasures his partner. This is an extremely good thrust when the man is close to ejaculating and when his partner is eager for deep thrusting.

VACUUM SEALED: A couple can also use deep and then shallow thrusts to create an intense vacuum that is especially stimulating for the woman. When a man finally enters a woman fully with a deep thrust, his penis pushes out all of the air in her vagina. By then making a series of shallow thrusts without breaking the seal (that is, pulling out completely), he creates a vacuum that can be intensely pleasurable.

DANCING IN THE SHEETS: The Taoists recommended that a couple, and especially a man, rotate the hips (ideally, the sacrum) to really “screw.” Screwing allows the man to stimulate all the walls of a woman’s vagina. The rocking of the hips or sacrum is also excellent for channeling the energy up the spine.

CHAPTER 5

In this chapter you will discover:

• The Power of Sex to Heal Us and Keep Us Young
  

• The Art of Sexual Healing
  

• The Re
  fl
  exology Points on the Genitals
  

• The Art of Taoist Genital Massage
  

• Sexual Positions for Harmonizing and Healing
  

• How to Circulate Healing Sexual Energy During Lovemaking
  

• The Effects of Ejaculation on a Man
  ’
  s Energy and Health
  

• How to Strengthen Your Sex Organs
  

• How Healing Love Can Help You Have Safer Sex
  

127

Orgasm is not simply a momentary release but a life-giving part of our overall health and longevity.

Most modern people have come to think that sex is exclusively for pleasure and/or procreation. Public discussions about sex are generally debates over pleasure and perversion: with whom you can and cannot have sex, what you can and cannot do, when you can and cannot do it. This rather narrow focus misses the larger value of sex and sexual energy in our lives. For Taoists, sex is as much about health as it is about either pleasure or procreation. Healing Love developed out of the Chinese medical tradition, and Taoists have long known that sexuality is as important to our overall well-being as nutrition or exercise. Orgasm is not simply a momentary release but a life-giving part of our overall health and longevity.

The Fountain of Youth

According to the Taoists, it is essential for us to feel the arousal of our sex-ual energy and orgasm as often as possible—ideally, every day. (As should be obvious by now, for men the Taoists were talking about orgasm without ejaculation.) During arousal and orgasm our body releases sexual hormones that for the Taoists are literally the fountain of youth. Modern medical research is also discovering the enormous health benefits that sex and orgasm can offer. In one recent study breast cancer survivors who experienced orgasms through lovemaking or self-pleasuring recovered more quickly than those who did not.
1
Perhaps the most startling research suggests that sex and especially orgasm may even prolong our lives. The
British Medical Journal
reported that the more orgasms men in their study had the less likely they were to die. Of the 918 men between the ages of 45 and 59, those who had frequent orgasms, defined as twice a week or more, had a 50 percent lower mortality rate than those men who had infrequent orgasms, defined as less than one per month. This lower mortality rate was true for death from all causes as well as death from coronary heart disease, the most common killer in the United States. In addition, there was a “dose-response relation”—the

more often a man had sex, the lower his chance was of dying.
2

Chemically, we now know that the beneficial hormone oxytocin, which we discussed in the last chapter, and
PEA
, which has been called the molecule of love and is an amphetamine–like upper, both peak at orgasm.
3
Regular sex also increases the amount of testosterone in both men’s and women’s bodies, and testosterone both improves thinking and functions as an antidepressant.

In addition, exercise experts are starting to believe that even relatively brief physical exercise can generate major aerobic benefits for the body and the

immune system. Therefore, even nonmarathon sex can have substantial physical benefits for your whole body.

For thousands of years Westerners have been searching for the legendary fountain of youth. This search took them around the world. What Taoists have always known is that the fountain of youth is in our very own bedroom.

When Sparks Fly: Sexual Energy Healing

The Taoists also believed that the value of Healing Love goes beyond the mere physical or biochemical. In Chinese medicine, health benefits occur as healing energy is channeled through the body. As writer Daniel Reid points out,

According to the Tao, a brief burst of explosive energy occurs when a man or woman reaches orgasm. Western science has already established that, at the point of sexual orgasm, human brain wave patterns alter radically, literally putting the person into an “altered state of consciousness.” Profound physiological and electrical changes occur throughout the sys-tem during orgasm, and a burst of energy is indeed emitted.
4

Through practicing Healing Love, you and your partner can learn to circulate this healing energy within your own body and to channel it to each other.

Circulating multi-orgasmic energy from your genitals to your head and then down to your abdomen, as described in chapter 3, has many health benefits. This multi-orgasmic energy, which can last as long as fourteen hours after lovemaking, nourishes your body and charges your brain.

Even before hearing about the hormonal and energetic health benefits of sex, you probably have intuitively known about how sex can make you feel better physically as well as psychologically. According to the Tao, this is not just because it
feels
good to you but also because it
is
good for you.

You have probably noticed that sometimes after lovemaking you feel bet-ter and more energized than at other times. Just as we can choose to eat healthier foods, Taoists believe we can choose to have healthier sex. There are several ways to make your lovemaking most healing.

What Taoists have always known is that the fountain of youth is in our very own bedroom.

THE ART OF SEXUAL HEALING

• LOVE IS HEALING: The emotions we bring to sex make a big difference in how healing it is for us and for our partner. If our heart is filled with love, it is much easier to circulate and transmit healing energy to our partner. If we bring negative emotions such as anger or frustration to our lovemaking, we are unable to circulate healing energy or to transmit it to our partner.
  

• LIMIT EJACULATIONS: As we have mentioned, the Taoists noticed the depletion that generally accompanies ejaculation and therefore recommended that as men get older they limit the number of times they ejaculate. They also encouraged men to limit ejaculation when sick or tired. Because they taught men to separate orgasm from ejaculation, men could experience multiple orgasms even without ejaculating.
  

• MULTIPLY ORGASMS: As couples multiply their orgasms, they not only multiply their pleasure; they also multiply their healing energy. If a man has several orgasms before ejaculating, he will lose less sexual energy should he ejaculate (see below).
  

• CIRCULATE ENERGY: The more energy an individual is able to circulate (see chapter 3) or a couple is able to exchange (see chapter 7), the more healing the lovemaking will be. First, you and your partner should try to circulate the energy in your own body, and eventually you can exchange energy with each other.
  

• HEALING PRACTICES: The Taoists encouraged couples to use healing practices like genital massage (see below) and healing positions to intensify the healing of their lovemaking. Use these practices as you please and as you need.
  

• TAKE YOUR TIME: According to the Tao, for lovemaking to be most healing, couples should arouse each other for at least a half hour with hugging, kissing, touching, and foreplay and then have multi-orgasmic intercourse for another half hour.
  

  Each part of the genitals corresponds with another part of the body. Through manual stimulation, oral sex, and intercourse, the entire body is stimulated and revitalized.
  

  Mapping Your Genitals
  

  The Taoists discovered that, just as there are reflexology points on the foot that correspond with the rest of the body, each part of the genitals corresponds with another part of the body. Through manual stimulation, oral sex, and intercourse, the entire body is stimulated and revitalized. The healing benefits are considered very important, and for this reason the Taoists encouraged lovers to stimulate the entire penis and the entire vagina, especially the shaft of the man’s penis and the entrance to the woman’s vagina.
  

  

  PITUITARY
  

  PROSTATE
  

  PINEAL
  

  ADRENAL, THYMUS
  

  HEART
  

   
  

  LUNGS
  

  SPLEEN
  

  STOMACH PANCREAS
  

   
  

  LIVER
  

  SMALL INTESTINE
  

   
  

  LARGE INTESTINE
  

  KIDNEYS BLADDER
  

   
  

  Penis Reflexology— each part of the penis corresponds with another part of a man’s body.
  

  TESTICLES ARE
  

  CONNECTED TO ALL GLANDS
  

   
  

  UTERUS
  

   
  

  HEART
  

  LUNGS
  

   
  

  Vagina Reflexology— each part of the vagina corresponds with another part of a woman’s body.
  

  SPLEEN
  

  PANCREAS
  

   
  

  LIVER
  

   
  

  KIDNEYS
  

  VAGINAL OPENING
  

   
  

  In Healing Love, we try to stimulate these organ reflexology points on the shaft of the man’s penis and the walls of the woman’s vagina. The Taoists believed that the reflexology points are stronger on the sex organs than on the feet or hands and even more powerful than the acupuncture points on the ears and nose. The genitals connect directly to our internal organs, so you can directly stimulate an organ that is weak and in need of healing. Also, the Taoists recommended allowing the sexual energy to rise to individual organs for strengthening and healing the organ as well as for experiencing a more intense whole-body orgasm.
  

  As we discuss below, in Exercise 18: Around the World in One Night, when the woman is able to squeeze around the shaft of the man’s penis (avoiding too much stimulation of the head), the couple can become very highly aroused without the man’s ejaculating. Once a couple understand the reflexology points of the genitals, they can experience not only genital pleasure but also extremely energizing “organ orgasms” that can last for up to ten hours. “Organ orgasms” were considered one of the great secrets of healing love. For a step-by-step discussion, please see Mantak and Maneewan Chia’s book
  Healing Love Through the Tao
  (see Resources).
  

  This concern with stimulating the entire penis and vagina also led the
  

  Taoists to discover many sexual positions that are both highly pleasurable and extremely healing. But first let us begin with our trusty hands.
  

  TAOIST VAGINAL MASSAGE
  

  While the goal of fingering (see previous chapter) is to heat a woman’s passion to the boiling point or beyond, Taoist vaginal massage is different. Like a good body rub, Taoist vaginal massage is more interested in health than in heat. While not focused on passion, it still leads to great pleasure and is very good for exploring a woman’s genital hot spots for future fingering or intercourse.
  

  During the genital massage, a woman can circulate her sexual energy, which will bring pleasure and healing to the rest of her body.
  

  

  THE ART OF TAOIST VAGINAL MASSAGE