The Masquerade (14 page)

"I'm sorry." I heard him say.

I couldn't speak, but I made sure that my eyes told him what I wanted. He moved to the door without a word. When he pulled it open he turned to me. His voice was soft when he spoke.

"Not everything is as it seems, Ella."

Then he was gone. The weight of the world crashed around me when the door closed. I staggered back, hitting the countertop behind me. My
trembling hand clasped my mouth when a sob erupted from the back of my throat. I felt as though the walls were caving in. I needed to get out of the diner before I suffocated.

Gasping for air, I stumbled around the counter and dashed
for the door. Just before I reached it the door opened and I crashed into someone's chest. I was still sucking in short rapid breaths when the stranger's arms immediately wrapped around my shaking form.

"Let me out!" I shouted against him.

We were outside before I could say anything more. I turned my face to the side, feeling the cool air against my cheeks. My hands, balled into fists and pressed against his chest, were still shaking. His arms
tightened around me, holding my body securely against him to minimize some of the tremors. One of his hands ran gently through my hair, a simple but soothing gesture that allowed my thoughts to focus on his touch instead of the grotesque images of my past.

Minutes passed before my breathing began to even. I noticed my arms were no longer trembling. The cold air hadn't affected me much. The warmth that radiated from his body shielded me from the cold. I practically melted under his touch. The electricity thrived under the contact of our skin.
I knew whose arms were wrapped around me, but it was slowly beginning to register what I exposed him to.

I slowly lifted my head up to find the worry in his eyes. He had just witnessed the side of me that I concealed from everyone, the side that
I fought every day to hold back. The hospital had witnessed me lose it. After a week I was released, but I continued to have episodes, usually after nightmares where my demons were let off their leash.

My mom never knew about my terrors. When my brother died she kept herself busy with work to avoid facing the reality of it all. I suffered alone, but I wanted it that way. I didn't want anyone to see that part of me. I
wanted to be strong. I wanted show everyone that I wasn't easily broken, that I was not awaiting a mental breakdown. I wanted to be more than that. Ben had just witnessed that side of me. The part of me I hid from everyone.

"I'm sorry." My voice was drained. I tried to pull
away, but his arms tightened. His eyes searched for mine, but I refused to give him more access. I kept my gaze on the ground.

"Ella."

My eyes hardened on the concrete.

"Ella, look at me." His hand cupped my chin and he tilted my face up to look at him. "You have nothing to be sorry for." He said with such intensity that I could only nod in response. His eyes
softened. "What happened?"

I shook my head. "I can't." The words couldn't form in my mouth. I couldn't tell him. I didn't have the strength to. "I just have a lot of demons."

His eyes filled with understanding. "I know."

I pulled out of his grasp. I couldn't think under his touch, which may have been the best thing that had ever happened to me, or the worst. I hadn't decided yet. I exhaled and my gaze fell to something insignificant in
the square behind him. I couldn't look at him. The embarrassment of what he had just witnessed was intimidating to say the least. "It's just something I have to fight."

I could feel his eyes on me. "You don't have to fight
them alone."

His words struck me. He wasn't disgusted or disappointed. There was no judgment or criticism, only an understanding that brought hope. He alluded to fighting my demons with me. Although I wasn't ready to open myself
up, I could share them with him. It was in that moment when I realized I would never be the same.

My eyes flashed to his. In them I found the familiar darkness that I had grown accustomed to, the shadows, the tragedy, the horror,
and even remorse, all tormenting him. I always felt alone or out of place, but for the first time in my life I felt safe. The hole in my chest that I hadn't noticed before was satisfied with a warmth that captivated my insides because I
wasn't alone. He had demons too. I couldn't help but wonder if they played well with mine.

I took a careful step forward. "I'm always afraid I'm going to loose it completely."

"You can lose it anytime you want." He smiled. "I do."

There was something burning behind his expression, threatening to expose his darkest desires. He meant more than he said, but I didn't question it because he didn't question me. He managed to pull me from my
nightmares and make me feel safe in my moment of insanity. I would do everything humanly possible to return what he had done for me.

I cleared my throat and motioned to the diner. "I need
to lock up."

"Do you want me to stay?"

I shook my head and opened up the door. "No, it's fine."

I was already inside so he couldn't see the shock on my face
caused by my own words. Why had I said that? Of course I wanted him to stay. I never wanted him to leave.

I didn't hear the door close. I looked over my shoulder and saw that Ben had caught it with his hand. The muscles in his arms flexed as he
pushed it back open when he walked through. I was mesmerized by the way his black t-shirt exposed his toned arms covered with ink. I wondered if that had something to do with why I never wanted him to let me go.

We exchanged a small smile before I moved behind the counter to flip off the lights and retrieve my things. I had already stacked the chairs up on the tables before Eli arrived. Everything was set for me to leave. Ben watched me as I mentally went through my checklist, which was immensely
distracting.

"Don't do that." I told him with a smile in my voice.

"Do what?"

"Look at me like that." I turned to him. "I
can't think." His ghost smile grew and his eyes fell lower to devour other parts of my body. "That doesn't help."

"Can you turn around? I'm feeling a little deprived of your backside."

I shot him a dirty look. "Stop."

One of his eyebrows rose. "Make me."

My cheeks burned. I turned to the side and grabbed my wallet and car keys from underneath the counter to avoid responding. When I
straightened I met his gaze. He watched me carefully, his attention never drawing elsewhere. I bit down on my bottom lip and stared back. My eyes fell to his lips. They were shaped to near perfection, his bottom lip full with the
glistening ring pierced through the side.

I cleared my throat. "Did you know I worked here?"

"Don't flatter yourself. I'm not stalking you."

"Super hot, creepy rock star who disappears and
reappears faster than my phone charger isn't stalking me." I feigned disappointment. "Darn it."

"You think I'm hot."

"And creepy."

"And hot." He smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm trying to tarnish your ego but I think you're a lost cause."

"Maybe you're not doing it right."

"Yeah?" I crossed my arms over my chest. "Please, school me. What's the best way to offend Ben Sloane?"

"You can't. I'm indestructible." The smug look on his face made me sure that there was his personal joke thrown in there. I
walked around the counter to face him.

"Your last album sucked."

"Lie."

I raised my eyebrows. "I found it distasteful."

His blue eyes ignited as his smirk drew into a sly smile. "Two nights ago, at the concert, you sang along to every song by heart." He was groveling in his evidence as his smile grew. "I wrote them all by the way."

Shock struck me, mostly because he was right. I did sing along to every song, but how could he know that? He didn't see me. Whenever I looked at him it seemed like he purposely kept his eyes away from my section of the crowd.

"I wasn't singing."

He shook his head. "No, it was your voice I heard."

I frowned in disbelief. "You heard me. Above the amps and every other noise the crowd made, you heard my voice?"

He nodded. "And?"

"That's impossible."

"Your voice is mesmerizing." His eyes were smoldering.

I knew he was lying, but the compliment still managed to
make me blush. My lungs inflated as my palpating heart thumped so loud I was sure he could hear it. The tightness in my chest made it difficult to breathe. I dropped my gaze to the counter unsure of how to respond.

"In Atlanta last year, your voice caught my attention." His eyes smiled as he brought up the memory. I was surprised he remembered me from the concert and not just from the alley. "I've heard millions of people sing my songs, but your voice..." he shook his head.
"It's impossible to forget."

"You couldn't have heard me sing, Ben."

"I did." He lowered his voice and the sound sent
chills down my spine. "And I want to hear it again."

I allowed myself to look into his eyes and managed to do it without fainting...again. "I didn't think you remembered me from the concert last year."

"I wouldn't have saved you if you were just some other girl."

I shook my head. "I don't believe that. You would have saved anyone that needed help the way I did."

He narrowed his eyes, holding my gaze. "I told you. I'm
not a good person." He
had
told me, but it didn't change what I already knew. He still saved my life. I only wanted to know why. My voice wouldn't suffice as an answer.

"Then why me? What makes me worthy of saving? I'm just
some small town waitress. There's nothing fabulous about my lifestyle." I paused when the idea dawned on me. "Or is that it? Do you think you can save me because you're a big rock star?"

He shook his head. "I don't need to save you, Bell. You're stronger than that."

So he preferred the name
Bell
over my actual name. I wanted to remind him of my name, but I was beginning to like Bell. It was a pet
name in a way. Although, I had no idea why he chose it.

"You don't know me."

"I know more than you think." He paused. "Are you doing anything tonight?"

I bit the inside of my cheeks to hide my smile. "I actually have a date."

"Oh?"

I nodded. "Channing Tatum."

His tensed jaw relaxed. "No competition."

I scrunched up my face, pretending to give him a once over. "I don't think so." Another lie, there was not one movie star that could compare to Ben. He knew it too. "Anyway, I can't be late. There's
popcorn to be made and warm blankets calling my name."

I moved around him and pushed through the door. He followed me and moved the side so I could lock it. He leaned with his shoulder against the frame, watching me fumble with my keys. It was hard to focus on a simple
task with his heavy gaze on me. He had already picked up on it too. He waited with one eyebrow raised.

When I finally managed to lock the door, I turned to him. "I'm not inviting you over. That would do nothing to help me deflate your
ego and it needs some serious bashing."

He smirked. "Do you need a ride home?"

"Then I would be obligated to let you in, wouldn't
I?"

His eyes, suddenly serious, narrowed. "You are not obligated to do anything for anyone. You're human. You should do whatever the hell you want for yourself because you can."

I stared at him for a moment, my tooth dug into my bottom
lip. "Is that what you live by?" Something clicked in my head. "That's why you're dangerous."

He shook his head. "I'm not like you, but I pretend to
be and that makes me bad."

"
Like me
?" I repeated, attempting to decipher his words. His eyes watched me warily, waiting for my response. I knew what he was suggesting, but I didn't want to think about it. It wasn't
rational. It wasn't possible. "I'm not sure I understand."

His eyes darkened. "I think you do, actually."

My feelings for him didn't change. That was all that mattered. "Maybe I don't care."

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before the curiosity in them leaked. "Why?"

"You're bad. I get it." I swallowed, debating my words. "But I feel safe with you. I trust that." His eyes searched my
face, but his expression was masked. He didn't feel the same way and now I looked like the idiot. I had to play it off. So I shrugged, "Unless of course you want me to run away from you screaming."

I turned and walked across the street to where my car was parked. I only made it halfway when I felt his hand slip through mine. He spun me around to face him, his face only inches from mine. The hungry look in his eyes made my eyes grow wide.

"I can think of other ways to make you scream." He said, his voice low and gravelly.

My body quivered. I wanted him to show me those ways and I was shocked by the desperation I felt for him to prove it to me. His free hand
was on the small of my back and he used it to push me against him. His other hand moved from mine to my wrist, grasping it gently, before it traveled up my bare arm. He placed it over my heart.

He gave a small smile that faded into his expression.
"Nervous?"

I shook my head, unable to focus on anything other than his lips. They were right there. I wanted to touch them. I wanted them on me. I began to imagine what it would feel like, trailing over my skin. I raised my
hand, my fingers grazed over his bottom lip. A shudder ripped through his body in reaction to my touch.

His hand on my heart moved to cup my chin. My heart raced when he tilted it upwards. Just when he began to lean his head down, his eyes
suddenly flashed up like someone had interrupted us. His gaze roamed over the darkness behind me. We were in the middle of the road, but I would have noticed the headlights if a car were behind us. He abruptly stepped away from me, our
hands falling to our sides.