The Masquerade (12 page)

Something flashed in his eyes when I said this. He swallowed
and looked away. His eyes followed a man who crossed the road to get to his car parked by the curb. I noticed that he had a close eye on everyone around us, watching them as though they were plotting against him.

"There are things about me that you can't understand, that you're not supposed to understand. I know you have a lot of questions about what happened last year, but I can't answer them. I saved you from
that
," he paused, a muscle in his neck strained, "asshole and I would do it
again. That's all you need to know."

Warmth flamed inside of me after he spoke. His words touched me far deeper than he probably intended. "Do you know what happened to
Davey?"

He slowly turned to me. "He's dead."

I nodded, my tooth digging into my bottom lip. My chest tightened, his stare penetrating me to the core. "They haven't found the murderer." I said, my voice careful.

"Is there a question in that?"

We eyed each other for a moment. I couldn't admit it, partially because I didn't want to know and because I knew the answer wouldn't
change anything. He saved my life. I trusted him and the way I felt when I was around him was indescribable. Davey was dead. I couldn't go further than that.

"No, I guess not." I finally said.

Ben nodded. "I'm not a good person."

I shrugged. "Who is?"

His scrutinizing eyes flashed to mine and narrowed. "You."

I laughed. "You don't know anything about me."

"I don't know your name." He said. "The rest I've picked up on." He paused. I waited with the idea that he had something else to say. His eyes darkened, bringing the mood down with him. "I'm dangerous."

"Really?" I asked incredulously. "The evening was going so well and then you had to pull
that
card!"

He turned to me, frowning. "What?"

"
You're dangerous
," I mimicked. "Okay,
Edward Cullen."

His eyes narrowed. "That wasn't a joke."

"The hell it was." I laughed. "I'm guessing I should stay away from you now?"

He leaned forward so that his darkened eyes were level with mine. "If I told you to stay away from me that would mean that I care and I don't."

I swallowed, hardly aware of anything but the close proximity
of our faces. "Good." I challenged, holding his gaze. "I hate it when people care."

He smirked and pulled back, but he continued to stare at me, the light in his eyes returning. I gave him a half smile. His eyes fell to the
ice cream cone in my hands. I had eaten the ice cream all the way down to the base, sparing the cone. I never really liked the cones, but I refused to get cups. Ice cream cups were for those who lived on the safe side of life.

"Are you still hungry?"

I shook my head and tossed my leftovers into the trashcan on my side of the bench. "I'm fine."

"I should get you home then."

I tried to hide the disappointment on my face. Once I got home, the dream would be over. Ben would leave. I was a girl stuck in a small town. He wouldn't stay in contact with someone like me. It was the reality of
the situation and I loathed it, but I had to ignore the obvious and live in the moment. He was with me now and I'd never felt so complete in my entire life.

I managed to give him a half smile. "Ben, I live down the street. You don't have to walk me home. I can take care of myself. I'm a
big girl."

He smiled back. "Maybe I don't like the idea of leaving you just yet."

My heart lurched. His words proved as evidence to the
contrary, regarding my thoughts, but I always had the seed of doubt. With every guy I'd ever dated I knew they wouldn't last and it bothered me, even if I wasn't that into them. I wanted to believe that Ben liked me, enough that he would want to be with me. But I was always going to be stuck under the same
impression. Men always left. My father and my brother both chose, in different ways, to leave me. I couldn't let go of that feeling, even if I wanted to.

I ignored the twinge of hope floating in my chest and jumped
to my feet. "Then try to keep up. I'm missing the Halloween marathon." I skipped off the sidewalk and crossed the street. I managed to catch a glimpse of his expression. He cocked one dark eyebrow as he watched me.

When I looked over my shoulder, he jogged up to me, and matched my pace. His eyes darted around us like he was waiting for someone to appear unannounced. I assumed he didn't want anyone to notice he was lowering his rock star standards to hang out with a girl like me. I didn't blame him,
but I didn't like it.

"Are you worried someone will see us? Ben Sloane buys a girl ice cream," I mocked with a bombastic tone. "Very scandalous. What will he do next?"

Without warning, he turned to me, grabbed my waist, and pulled me against him. I gasped as his hand fell down the middle of my back, holding me to his chest. He dipped his head down and locked his eyes with mine.
My breath caught in my throat. Jolts of electricity shot from his touch throughout the rest of my body, unlocking emotions I'd never experienced, like desire. He leaned in, his lips touched the skin below my ear, and I shivered.

"I can show you scandalous." He whispered, his
voice weighing heavily on my self-control.

I'd never wanted someone to kiss me as much as I did up until that moment. He leaned back slightly to share my gaze, his face still
inches away from mine. His eyes scorched into mine while a small smile toyed with his lips. I couldn't speak. I couldn't even think straight. My eyes fell to his full lips that were parted slightly. My breath came in small and uneven intakes that made his smile grow. I wanted him to kiss me. I was desperate to
have that connection. I didn't care about what would happen next. I wanted it.

As if he had read my thoughts, his free hand cupped my chin and tilted my face up. He leaned down and my eyes fluttered shut. I could
almost feel his lips against mine. For a brief moment they gently brushed over mine. The single touch left warmth radiating throughout my entire body, but that was all I felt. The cold enveloped my face. I opened my eyes to see that
Ben had pulled away.

"Later," he promised me. Despite his sincerity, the distance between our lips was a rough smack in the face.

"You're kidding right?" I pulled away from him,
trying to somehow regain my confidence and ability to breathe. His hands released me as I took a step back.

"I don't want this to be some spur of the moment, Bell."

"What exactly is
this?
" I questioned him,
frowning. "And why do you keep calling me Bell?"

"This," he stepped forward, motioning between the two of us, "Is more than just a meaningless hookup. I don't want it to be that way. You and I both know it's more than that." He gently brushed a
strand of hair of my hair behind my ear. His eyes met mine. "And I'm calling you Bell because you haven't given me your name yet."

"You haven't asked for it." I told him. His
response didn't satisfy my question. The name he chose didn't strike me as a random name. There was meaning behind it. "Why Bell?"

He didn't answer which only added to my frustration.
"What is your name?"

My head was still swimming from our almost kiss and his words that made my heart sink. In his own twisted way he wanted our first kiss to be special, insinuating that I meant more to him than I originally thought.
Part of me was still praying that this wasn't a dream. I exhaled. Allowing the warmth of his words to consume me, I began to walk backwards, a playful smile on my face.

"You're going to make me work for it." He stated,
amused.

I shrugged, continuing to walk. "Are you walking me home or not?"

When he caught up beside me, I turned and faced forward. I could feel his gaze on me, but I kept my eyes ahead and bit the inside of my
cheeks to hide my smile. Inside, I was gloating, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of the effect he had on me. That was the last thing he needed for his ego.

The walk home was different. The atmosphere felt different
and it may have been the fact that Ben walked closer beside me than he had before. My shoulder brushed against his arm at times and in other moments his fingers touched mine. We didn't speak. Occasionally he would look down at me and watch me as though he was trying to unravel some great mystery that only he
wanted the answers to. I was his secret and in a strange way it was beautiful.

My fears of reaching home flushed away after his promising words. Promises meant nothing to me, but there was something in his voice. I
believed him because I trusted him. I never trusted anyone and after one night I gave it all to him. It wasn't specifically anything he said or did. It was what he didn't say and what he didn't do. Most importantly, it was the way I
felt around him. I trusted that.

When we entered my neighborhood, it didn't take long to reach the driveway of my house. I stopped by my mailbox and turned to face him. "This is me." I motioned over my shoulder to the darkened house. The
porch light over the side door was on which told me my mom was working again. I had the house to myself.

His gaze shifted over my head. "Are you alone?"

"My mom works nights." His eyes adjusted to my
face.

"Want some company?"

My heart practically leaped out of my chest. He really didn't want to leave me yet. I smiled. "I'd like that, but my friends are
coming back soon. They're going to want to see me after my disappearance earlier."

He nodded. "I don't mean for you to keep secrets from your friends but..."

"If they found out about you then I would have to
explain last year and I don't feel like rehashing those memories right now." I said quickly.

His blue eyes found mine. "I know it hurts." His eyes darkened. "I wish I could have been there sooner."

My eyes widened. "Ben, it's because of you that nothing happened. Yes, the thought of my ex-boyfriend's best friend attempting to," I paused, but managed to spit it out, "rape me is suffocating
sometimes, but I won't let it consume me. I've been through much worse." My voice trailed off to a whisper by my last word. The last memory I had of my brother threatened to break free, but I pushed it back immediately. Not tonight...

He stared at me, while processing the new information I gave him. "I didn't know you had a close tie with
him
."

I shook my head immediately. "No. Davey and the rest of his so-called friends are the reason I broke up with Eli. I hated him long
before he tried anything physical with me." I swallowed and waved my hand to clear the conversation. "That's another story."

We were quiet. In the silence he examined my expression
while the thoughts of last year came back to me. My biggest regret was never thanking him for what happened. I finally had my chance.

"Thank you, Ben."

He frowned. "For what?"

"Saving my life." I shrugged. "And for the ice cream, but mostly for saving my life." His eyes twisted into what I assumed could only be guilt. He looked away as though he felt unworthy and nodded. His reaction bothered me. I wanted him to know how grateful I was. If
it weren't for him I would have been the ultimate basket case. "I mean that."

His eyes met mine. The darkness had seeped back into his expression. The guilt still surfaced in his eyes. "I know."

I frowned, but decided to shake off whatever caused his pain. He wasn't going to talk about it so I didn't find the point in pressing the subject. I began to walk backwards with my hands shoved in the front
pockets of my jeans.

"I'll see you later." I told him, unsure of what else to say.

"I still don't know your name."

"Are you sure? I'm beginning to think its Bell."

His eyes narrowed. He took a couple strides and he was in front of me within seconds. My eyes grew wide in the small space between our bodies. His hand cupped my chin the way he had before, but this time his thumb
slid over my bottom lip sending a small shudder throughout my body. I was instantly craving more.

"What are you doing?" I managed to say, feeling his other hand gently slide over the curve of my waist.

"Trying to get it out of you." He smirked.
"And it looks like its working."

"No," I protested as he leaned down, his lips at my throat. The soft touch caressed my skin. My head tilted in the opposite
direction giving him more access. A soft moan escaped my lips before I could stop myself. I felt his lips turn up into the shape of a grin and he pulled away. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't form words. I wanted to feel his lips again.

"I left you breathless." He stated bemused.

I frowned, "No."

His hand, that was still on the curve of my waist gripped me tighter and pulled me against him. I gasped at the feeling of my chest being
pushed up against his so that I was forced to look up at him.

"No," I shook my head trying to remember what I was going to say, but I couldn't think. "Stop that!" I pushed myself
away from him, despite my body's protests.

He was laughing, a deep laugh that caused tiny vibrations underneath my skin. "Can't think in my presence?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up."

"I'm a lot to handle."

"Oh please, lets not boost your ego." I exasperated.

"I'm not the one telling my friends I'm delicious."

I froze. My eyes slowly trailed up to his to find that he
was trying not to laugh. "You weren't supposed to hear that!"

He closed the space between us again. I didn't protest. We both knew that I liked it. His smoldering blue orbs melted into mine. My heart
squeezed and my cheeks warmed under his gaze. No one had ever looked at me the way Ben did.

"Your name?" He asked me, his voice softer.