The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes (2 page)
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Authors: E. Henry Thripshaw
Tags: #Jokes & Riddles, #Humor, #Form, #General
An aardvark walks into a bar, orders a pint of beer, sits down and starts to read his newspaper. The barman pulls a pint and takes it over to the aardvark, who proffers a £10 note. The barman goes back to the till, returns with a pound coin and duly gives it the aardvark, who doesn’t say a word.
The aardvark eventually downs his beer and calls for another one. The barman says to him, “You know, we don’t get many aardvarks in here.”
The aardvark replies, “At £9 a pint, I’m not fucking surprised.”
What do you call an aardvark that keeps getting his head kicked in?
A vark.
Have you heard about the Irish abortion clinic?
There’s a twelve-month waiting list.
What two purchased items are most likely to freak out a cashier?
A pregnancy test and a coat hanger.
Why is the Catholic Church so opposed to abortion?