The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes (112 page)

Irrelevant - the electricity has been off for at least a year anyway.

How many Ethiopians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to change the light and two to eat the packaging.

How many lepers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two - one to screw it in, and the other to give him a hand.

How many swingers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Swingers don’t screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.

How many manic-depressives does it take to change a light bulb?

What does any of it matter? Who cares anyway?

How many dyslexics does it take to change a light bulb?

Sixty-seven - one to hold the bulb and sixty-six to read the instructions.

How many blind people does it take to change a light bulb?

I’ve no idea, but it’s a great laugh watching them try.

How many cocksuckers does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up and keep sucking. You can change it after I’ve come.

How many cancer victims does it take to change a light bulb?

None – they’re too weak to climb the ladder.

How many divorcees does it take to change a light bulb?

Four – one to cry, two to provide a supportive atmosphere and one to ring the ex-husband for instructions.

One.

How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb?

What light bulb?

How many Alzheimer’s patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb?