The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes (132 page)

They can’t get the laboratory mice to butt fuck.

Victoria Beckham claims she once had an affair with Michael Jackson.

Jacko, of course, refuted the allegation. He said he was in Brooklyn at the time.

Michael Jackson died of a heart attack. He really should not have looked at the man in the mirror.

When police swarmed all over the Neverland Ranch, they found a lot of suspicious items that needed explaining. For example, the wedding photo with Lisa Marie Presley.

Legal experts commenting on Michael Jackson’s trial were baffled because his defence team didn’t play the race card. It was because they didn’t know which race to play.

Michael Jackson went to Heaven and saw Elvis, so he went over and introduced himself as the man who married his daughter, Lisa Marie. Elvis shook him enthusiastically by the hand. “I can’t tell you how pleased I am to meet you, man,” said Elvis. “I heard she married a nigger.”

Michael Jackson will always be with us . . . he isn’t biodegradable.

What was the difference between Michael Jackson and Dick Cheney?

One had pasty white skin, fake body parts and is very creepy, the other one was Michael Jackson.

When Michael Jackson’s heart stopped, his chimp, Bubbles was the first to try and resuscitate him. Unfortunately he had only been trained to suck and not blow.

O.J. Simpson and Michael Jackson were at Johnny Cochran’s funeral. Michael corners O.J. and asks, “O.J., how do you get stains off a glove?”

The first two paramedics arrive at Neverland and fnd Jackson’s body.

The first paramedic looks at the second paramedic and says, “Okay what’re we going to do frst?”

The Second paramedic replies, “I don’t know about you, but I’m having a go on the roller-coaster!”

Paramedics at the scene knew that Michael Jackson was dead when they waved a six-year-old boy under his nose and got no response.