The Look In His Eyes (Jasmine & Zack, #1) (9 page)

She took a deep breath and shut her eyes for a second. The demand for him was more than the demand for an obsession. Even though it was there she couldn’t resist the man who towered over her. She looked directly into his eyes and nodded.

‘Yes, I do... but...’

He nodded knowing very well what was running through her mind. He stepped off her a moment and...

‘I do, I do want to...’ she panicked as she watched him leave the bedroom only to return with the clothes she’d neatly folded into a pile.

He pulled out his jeans and fiddled in the pocket and pulled out a condom.

‘I thought we might need this if I was lucky and it turns out I am.’ He smiled flapping the condom.

Jasmine giggled relieved.

‘Come help me put this on.’ He towered over her again and pulled the wrapper off the rubber.

He gently guarded her hands over the rubber and then over his thickness. Their hands slowly rolled down the rubber sheath and he let out a satisfied moan.

‘If at any point you want me to stop, just say so and I will,’ he said gently and Jasmine felt warm all over. There was nothing more to fear she felt safe and secure in his arms.

He positioned himself so that his cock was directly against her pussy. He slowly began to work his way into the tight hole. Each inch he slotted into her she let out a moan and cry mixed with both pain and pleasure. It took a while but soon his thickness was swallowed into her tight walls. She grasped onto his shoulders with all her might as he moved in and out of her slowly and carefully. Zack felt the swell of his balls as he hit against her as he gave of himself. It wasn’t like anything he’d felt before and every moment spent with her got better and better.

‘Oh god yes! Ahahahah!’ Jasmine hadn’t felt this way; she hadn’t been taken by any man in her life.

‘Look at me,’ he whispered breathless. ‘I want to see you.’

Her eyes shot opened and she gazed into his eyes. Her mouth opened and gasped at the beauty of him. He smiled down at her and captured her beauty in his eyes like a camera would a moment. There was such vulnerability in those deep dark eyes that he knew he wanted to protect her and keep her safe.

‘I love you,’ he said as his pace increased a little bit.

Jasmine had adjusted to his thick cock and she took it all in. The man above her had just taken away her virginity and he loved her.

‘I love you too,’ she whispered back.

As he pushed into her making himself known, he rubbed a finger against her clit so she could appreciate more feeling. Sounds of joy and ecstasy emitted from her mouth as she allowed herself to have the first orgasm with a man.

‘That’s it, come for me,’ he kept his eyes focused on her and again rubbed the delicate place bringing about another wave of orgasm.

Zack satisfied her, he did things he didn’t know he could do. There was something freeing about being with her that made him try new things. And finally when he’d exhausted her giving her multiple orgasms, Zack let go and allowed himself to come too.

Jasmine lay oddly still as he rolled over. The reality of everything flooded in like a torrential storm. He moved across so that he was face to face with her but she didn’t move an inch.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked concerned.

‘I’ll be fine,’ she said still not moving.

‘Honey are you sure?’

She nodded and kept her eyes on the ceiling. There was no more talk between them and it didn’t matter how many times he asked, she still admitted to being okay. Finally in that position Jasmine fell asleep and soon Zack did the same.

****

T
here was the sound of water when Zack opened his eyes. He turned over and his eyes took in the time, it was five in the morning. He rolled back and fell asleep a little longer then woke up again as if suddenly realising. There was still the strange sound of water and this time when he looked at the clock it was five forty five. This time Zack pulled back the covers and followed the sound of the water.

He opened the door to the steamy bathroom and walked towards the shower. He knocked gently.

‘Honey are you coming out soon?’ he asked.

There was dead silence. Jasmine stood beneath the jet spray of water lathering her body for the umpteenth time.

‘Honey, are you okay? You’ve been in there for almost an hour?’ he tried again.

She lathered between her legs vigorously and then all around her body. Tears rolled down her eyes, it confused her that something so beautiful could make her feel so dirty. That she felt she’d been contaminated somehow.

‘Can I come in?’ he asked.

‘No!’ she said finally. ‘Just leave me alone!’ She banged against the glass, ‘leave me alone!’

‘Okay, okay honey; I’ll be in the bedroom if you need me.’ Zack moved out of the bathroom and went back to bed and waited.

It was six fifteen before she emerged from the shower. He sat up and smiled and she tried to smile back. This had been the part she hadn’t wanted him to see. A blanket of embarrassment wrapped around her as she drifted across to the wardrobe and began the hassle of finding clothes.

As she went through the routine of picking out an outfit, trying it on and then rejecting it, Zack’s mobile rang.

‘I’ll take that in the passage.’ He slipped out of the bed and reached for his phone. ‘Hello...’ she heard him say.

Even though she couldn’t see him there was distress in his voice and it brought panic to her own world too. It took a while for him to return but when he did he looked a little saddened.

‘It’s my sister, she’s having a bad day,’ he said as he sat down on the side of the bed. ‘I’d like to take you with me to see her,’ he added.

‘Me? Why?’ This time she pulled on a pair of jeans.

‘I think you’ll like her and she’ll like you too.’ He smiled. ‘And I promise I’ll make you feel as safe as I possibly can.’

‘I’m sorry,’ she said.

‘For what honey?’

‘For the outburst in the shower; I’m so ashamed of myself right now.’

‘Listen to me,’ he stood up and was about to take her into his arms but noticed her flinch a little. ‘You have nothing to be sorry about, nothing.’ He smiled to reassure her.

He held out his hand and waited. It took her a while but soon she accepted and took his. He squeezed it gently and then let her go so she didn’t feel too pressured and want to break away.

‘I’ll go and have a shower and we can leave when you’re ready.

****

T
hey left the house just after ten after Jasmine had carried out her usual routine and struggled over what to eat. It had helped having Zack’s easy going nature. They got into Wakefield another half an hour later and as soon as he parked the car there was a look of dread on her face.

‘You never told me we were going to the hospital.’ She freaked.

‘It’s a mental hospital and don’t worry you’ll be fine, look.’ He pulled out a box of latex gloves and handed a pair to her.

Jasmine looked at it strangely and took them cautiously. Zack did the same for himself and next he pulled out a box of surgical masks and handed her one.

‘Are you serious?’

‘Yes,’ he took one for himself as if it was the normal thing to do.

‘We’re going to look like the strangest people in there.’

‘I promise you, you won’t. Trust me.’ He stepped out of the car and walked around to her side. ‘Come on my lady,’ he teased.

Jasmine hesitated but soon stepped out and followed him to the hospital entrance.

‘You might want to suit up before you go in,’ he started to put on his gloves then put on the surgical mask.

‘This is insane, they’re going to look at us like we’re insane.’

‘No, the staff are used to me doing this, besides my sister won’t see me otherwise.’

She frowned.

‘She won’t let me touch her or do anything unless I suit up so I’ll do as she asks. I suggest you do the same.’ He winked.

Feeling a little ridiculous she put on the gloves followed by the mask and followed Zack into the hospital. They were directed straight to Claire’s room. To have said a bad day was an understatement alright. When they walked into the room Claire was pacing and everything had been tipped upside down. She stopped the moment they stepped in.

‘Don’t come any closer, I have to clean this all up first,’ said Claire.

Jasmine gazed at the woman who seemed frantic and then at Zack who seemed as calm as day. He nodded and waited while Claire began to pick up the things she’d tossed aside. There was a lamp, books, pens and paper. There were also some clothes and bedcovers that had landed in the dirt pile. But soon she was putting all away and folding it neatly and repeatedly.

‘What happened sis? Bad day?’ He moved a little forward and she allowed him to take her into his arms.

She seemed to calm down in his arms and finally he got her to sit down and talk to him.

‘Who’s this?’ she nodded over at Jasmine.

‘That is Jasmine, she’s my girlfriend.’

The woman with the same dark hair and blue eyes as Zack’s gazed at Jasmine and then smiled lightly.

‘I like her, she’s nothing like Kimberly.’

Kimberly had only visited once and vowed never to go back again; it had been a total disaster.

‘It’s nice to meet you Jasmine, I’m Claire.’ Claire proffered her hand.

Jasmine gave her the gloved hand and it was as if she was greeting herself. For the first time she saw it as light as day, although not severe. It was certainly something she noticed in Claire that was in her.

‘So what made you so upset?’ asked Zack.

‘That stupid nurse, she took away some of my things.’

‘Why?’

‘She thought I might hurt myself with them.’

‘What things were those?’

‘My fork and headbands to tie up my hair. Those were my things.’

‘I’ll see if I can’t speak to them and ask them to give the things back.’ Zack understood his sister more than anyone else did. He knew what she would and wouldn’t do and he had provided those things for her knowing very well she would be fine.

They had short discussions and at times Claire would go into a world of her own. It sent so many questions swirling around Jasmine’s head and as she watched Zack she began to understand his patience with her. He’d been through it; she could see a part of herself in Claire.

‘Sorry you’ll have to excuse me,’ Jasmine said and headed for the door and then out of the hospital.

It was all too overwhelming, something had been wrong with her for a very long time, and it had taken a trip to her boyfriend’s sister to realise it. Had she known all along and just denied it, hoping to cope on her own? She’d held down a job, her life was okay but the more she thought about it the more she realised everything.

‘Hey,’ Zack came to her side. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I’ll be fine.’ She sniffed.

‘Hey, I’ll go and say goodbye then we can go home.’

She nodded and watched him re -enter the hospital. It took him a while but finally he was back by her side, ferrying her to the car. She sat in the seat and felt a little numb, what had her life become.

‘Honey,’ he started. ‘I didn’t bring you here to upset you.’

‘I know it’s not you it’s me.’

‘What happened? What happened to you and made you this way?’

She turned and looked him in the eye.

‘Because I’ll tell you what happened to us. My father was an animal and he would beat me left right and centre and abuse Claire. Our mother was a drunk without a clue about what happened from day to day. The abuse was so bad that my sister would spend ours in the bathroom trying to clean herself, perfect herself so that he wouldn’t hurt her anymore. Finally the animal was thrown in prison and we were left with my mother. I did the best I could to hide her illness from social workers. I didn’t want them taking Claire away.’ His eyes drifted away for a moment. ‘I would hide the bottles, freshen the house and try and sober her up before the visits. But one day when I got home from school, Claire was lying in a pool of blood, her wrists slit. If I’d been ten minutes later she would’ve bled to death. You wouldn’t guess where my mother was at that stage!’

Jasmine swallowed back hard and the words he’d spoke earlier about how her life wasn’t as bad as she thought all made sense now. To never wish to be someone else because she had no idea how bad the other person had it.

‘She was passed out on the living room floor. That was the day my sister was taken away from me. I had just turned eighteen and had managed to secure a place at university. I worked so hard, a promise I made to Claire that I would get her out of the institution and make a life for her. Unfortunately her condition is so severe they don’t see that happening.’

‘Oh my god, I’m so sorry.’ Jasmine didn’t know what to say.

‘Don’t be, I’ve worked through it and my sister is in the best care, that unfortunately is her fate. But you sweetie, you have a chance to be amazing. You’ve held it together for so long, I can tell. I can see you’ve never had the chance to talk to someone about it. What happened?’ He drew closer and this time she didn’t move but let him touch her face.

Jasmine broke down and talked about how she’d been humiliated throughout her high school life but now she felt it was so insignificant.

‘Don’t ever think that. How a person deals with trauma is different from person to person. What you feel right now, what you’re going through is all that matters.’

‘Your sister’s symptoms are a severe version of mine aren’t they?’

‘Yes, I’d say that but I’m not a doctor, I can’t diagnose you. My sister suffers from OCD but like you said hers is more severe.’

‘Do you think I should see someone about it?’ she asked.

‘Honey, I can’t tell you what to do, you must do what feels right for you. Just know that I’m here for you whatever you decide.’

The drive home was one done in deep thought. It all made sense now why Zack had been the way he’d been, how he’d seemed to understand her. But now there was the burning question about what she was going to do about it? Was she bold enough to move forward? Seek help and be a whole person and feel better or would she continue the way she had been.