The Look In His Eyes (Jasmine & Zack, #1) (3 page)

‘Ella warned me about that so I had my iPad handy.’ He smiled.

Paul was a handsome blonde with deep blue eyes and a very kind smile.

‘Oh I see, what else did she tell you?’ Jasmine remained standing for a moment not sure if she wanted to show the other parts of herself.

‘That you’d probably have the urge to clean the seat before you sit down.’ He smiled again but it wasn’t patronising, instead it was kind and accommodating.

‘Wow, now I feel like a woman standing before you stark naked.’ She felt truly embarrassed.

‘Oh don’t worry about it we all have our little flaws.’

Jasmine wasn’t so sure about the little part; ever since the whole problem started it was anything but little.

‘Please, don’t mind me.’ He nodded at the chair opposite him. ‘I have all the time in the world.’

Jasmine fiddled with the handles on her handbag and wondered if she could go through with this. It felt so invasive and uncomfortable that for a split moment she wanted to run out of the door and not look back. But instead she slowly opened the handbag, pulled out the wipes and began to clean the chair.

‘I’m sorry,’ she blurted and she gave it a final wipe.

‘It’s not a problem.’

Jasmine looked at him suspiciously? Was there more to this meeting than what Ella had told her? Why was this man being so nice and understanding, none of her other dates had been this way. Instead they had been a little mean and impatient and thought she was mental.

‘Okay,’ she said finally and sat down. ‘This is so awkward.’

‘It shouldn’t be, you’re a beautiful woman,’ he said.

Jasmine wanted to shout stop it! But instead forced a smile and said, ‘Thank you.’

‘I’m glad we’re doing this.’

‘Yeah, Urm... me too.’ Jasmine had to admit that it was a strange meeting but she was finally beginning to relax.

‘What would you like a drink?’ he asked.

‘I’ll just have a bottle of coke please.’

‘Anything to snack on? A muffin perhaps.’

‘No thanks, I’m good.’

‘You sure, the blueberry muffins are fantastic!’ he tried to encourage her.

‘I’m fine thanks; I’m trying to loose weight anyway so that won’t do me any good.’

‘Oh nonsense, you look perfect to me.’

‘Well... thanks but I still feel the need to cut down on the fat.’ She tried to smile.

‘You’re lovely, quit the diet and have a muffin with me.’ He tried to convince her.

‘No I’m fine thanks, the bottle of coke will do.’ Jasmine clutched onto the straps of the bag tighter as she felt her stomach scrunch.

‘How about we share it then?’ He tried a different tactic.

Jasmine felt the tension rise to her shoulders but she shook her head.

‘Oh come on, it’s not that bad. Ella told me you are a bit of a fussy eater at restaurants.’

‘I said no!’ she blurted out before she could stop herself. ‘Just stop asking me. A bottle of coke will do fine!’ She breathed heavily.

‘Okay, okay, bottle of coke it is.’ He pulled back his chair.

There was a sudden changed in his demeanour and Jasmine knew that it would be downhill from there. Why couldn’t she just keep her mouth shut for once? Why couldn’t she just try and eat away from home just this once? The thoughts spun around in her mind but Jasmine couldn’t come to terms with doing things she wasn’t comfortable doing.

‘I’ll just go and order, I’ll be back in a second,’ he said.

Jasmine watched the average height man with a great body walk towards the till. Even though his features were desirable, she didn’t feel that something. That thing that people talked about in the movies, Jasmine didn’t feel it nor had she ever felt it, which made her question her judgment. Her eyes drifted from Paul and around the coffee shop. There weren’t too many people which had made it easier for her. There was a woman to the far left with her head in a book, to the right a gentleman sat gazing an iPad and to the very front of Jasmine sat a young couple who seemed to be in a world of love. For a moment she admired the couple, the way they spoke to one another and how the young man leaned in to give his new love a kiss. A smile tugged at Jasmine’s lips gently, how she wished she could find that someday. Perhaps that day was the moment she was in! The thought sent her an overwhelming panic, there was just something she couldn’t grasp about him. Perhaps it was the constant pushing her to have the muffin that did it. Jasmine felt like a project he wanted to fix or change, as if she were some sort of a challenge.

Jasmine shuddered and watched as he stood in the line, fourth one from the front. From time to time he looked back and gave her a smile and two thoughts came into to her mind. To act out the first thought she’d have to do it there and then, to stick with the second thought she’d have to stay put. Jasmine quickly eyed the young couple in front of her again and this time she heard the man whisper ‘I love you!’ That was it! Jasmine knew what she had to do and she had to do it fast. She looked straight ahead to where Paul stood, this time his back to her studying the line in front of him. Quickly she pushed back her chair and as quickly as she could master, Jasmine fled the coffee shop, not taking one look back!

*****

J
asmine turned the key a couple of times, then put the latch across the door, removed, then did it again. It was repeated several times until there was a feeling of satisfaction over her. She leaned into the door and tried to get her nerves together. How she’d managed to escape him was like something she’d dreamed up. A part of her wanted to just burst out laughing but the other part felt angry and shameful. Jasmine wasn’t so sure whether she was angry at herself or at him for the way he’d tried to force her to have a muffin. It took her a while to move from the door but when she did she headed straight for the kitchen and opened the fridge door.

Staring right at her was a huge tub of vanilla ice-cream and to the left some whipped cream. She shut the fridge door and tried to resist the temptation but her nerves were getting the best of her. She shut her eyes and counted to ten and then again to twenty. It did nothing and she found herself opening the fridge again and eyeing the goodies. She gritted her teeth together and shut her eyes and imagined the sweet vanilla melting in her mouth. Oh the feelings it would give her, the buzz and it would sooth the guilt she felt for leaving Paul hanging.

‘I deserve this.’ She convinced herself. ‘I so deserve this.’ She reached into the fridge and pulled out the giant tub of ice-cream and the whipped cream. She slammed the fridge door shut and walked over to the table and set it down.

She pulled out the clean cutlery and placed it neatly besides the goodies waiting to be devoured. Next she studied the display of the sweets on the table as she played with her fingers nervously. There was something forbidden and yet tempting about the food that was gazing back at her. Over and over again, Jasmine relayed the mantra that she deserved the food and that it was what she wanted. It took a good five minutes before she pulled out the chair and settled down. She pulled the carton closer, lifted the lid and took in the creamy white dessert. She picked up the whipped cream, shook it and squirted it all over the top so that it was almost toppling out of the carton. Jasmine took in a deep breath before picking up the sparkling clean desert spoon and began to dig into the delicious dessert!

Jasmine savoured the cold but delicious dessert in her mouth. It sent a tingle down her spine and soon she was in the zone scooping out bits of cream and ice-cream together. It took a while and fifteen minutes later Jasmine put down the spoon and sat staring at the empty carton.

At first there were no thoughts, just a blank stare. But that was short lived! Jasmine pushed back the chair picked up the spoon and carton and headed for the sink. The carton went straight into the bin and the spoon had several washes before it was dried and put away. Jasmine gazed around the kitchen with the phone ringing in the background. It had started ringing a couple of minutes ago but Jasmine hadn’t the urge to pick it up.

‘Pick up I know you’re home. I won’t stop until you pick up.’ Ella’s voice travelled through the room.

Jasmine waited until the message was up before making a move across to the passage to where the phone sat. As she was about to disconnect the phone it rang again. Did she really want to speak to Ella? As far as she was concerned she’d paid for the cowardly escape.

‘Pick up I know you’re there. If you don’t pick up I’m going to drive to your house! Just because you don’t want me there doesn’t mean I won’t come.’ Ella said.

Jasmine sighed deeply then picked up the phone.

‘Ah there you are,’ Ella said sarcastically.

‘If you’re calling on behalf of Paul, save your energy,’ said Jasmine.

‘As a matter of fact I am, how could you do that to him? Not only did he feel stupid and embarrassed he gave me an ear full about it.’

Jasmine pulled the phone away from her ear and waited for Ella to finish barking.

‘Jasmine, how could you!’

‘I don’t know what you want me to say?’ she said finally. ‘I know it wasn’t the smartest thing to do but I just couldn’t sit there with him, I had to get out.’

‘Without so much as an apology!’

‘I’m sorry to both you and Paul but you know what I’m like.’

‘That’s not an excuse. I understand that you have your issues but there is no need to be disrespectful to another person.’

Jasmine felt her blood boil and her stomach turn and a feeling of nausea overwhelmed her.

‘I honestly don’t understand you,’ Ella said upset.

‘You know what, I didn’t ask you to set me up with him! I wish you’d stop! I don’t need a man anyway!’

‘You don’t mean that and I thought you liked it when I set you up.’

‘Have I ever said that? It annoys me, I don’t enjoy going out in public places, you know that.’

‘If you don’t go out you’ll become a recluse!’

‘I do go out, with you!’

‘With someone other than me, a man.’

‘I don’t want a man!’

‘Fine, I won’t ever match you up with anyone ever again.’

Jasmine took a deep breath to try and push aside the nausea.

‘Listen, I’m sorry, it came out wrong.’ She sighed. ‘I just...well he was a bit funny.’

‘Funny how?’

‘He kept forcing me to have a muffin and each time I refused he kept pushing. It was like I was some sort of project. He said that you’d told him a lot about me.’

There was a moment of silence from Ella and then she said, ‘I’m sorry too, I didn’t know he was going to be that forward. I only told him just so he was aware not so that he would try and change you.’

‘I just had to leave you know.’

‘It’s fine, I guess I was just a little upset because he had a go at me.’

‘Understandable. From now on no more dates please.’

‘Seriously?’

‘Yes, no more setting me up...just let me be.’

‘Well okay, I just don’t want you to be sad and alone.’

‘What makes you think I’m sad?’

‘Haven’t you ever wanted to be with someone?’

Jasmine had thought about it and she wasn’t going to admit that she’d never been with a man at all.

‘I have,’ she lied.

‘When?’ Ella was confused. ‘All the years I’ve been with you, I’ve never seen you dating.’

‘Well I have so lets leave it at that.’ Jasmine wasn’t going to explain herself. Life was just the way it was and it suited her just fine. ‘Let’s just drop it.’

‘Okay, no more setups,’ Ella said finally.

‘Great, I’m glad we came to that agreement.’

They talked a few more minutes before hanging up. The sick feeling in Jasmine’s stomach had faded and the visit to the bathroom was a false alarm. She knew that at some point things would have to change, she just didn’t know how to change them.

T
he weekend came and went and it had been the usual for Jasmine; nothing exciting except the vigorous cleaning of her apartment. Monday morning crept up on her unexpectedly and Jasmine found herself trying on her third outfit that morning. It took another ten minutes before she decided on the black suit with the pink shirt. Finally she walked around the room and began to switch off and on all the appliances in the room. Next she picked up her bag and dashed downstairs. Jasmine walked into the kitchen first and switched all the appliances off and on and then off again a number of times except for the fridge. She walked out about to head for the living room when she felt as though she’d left the stove on.

Jasmine walked back into the kitchen and looked to the switch against the wall that displayed cooker in red. It was off but Jasmine stepped forward and switched it on and then off, then on again and finally off.

‘It’s off!’ she told herself as she looked at it. ‘Off!’ she pressed against the switch one more time this time she felt satisfied.

She headed back to the living room and switched off all the appliances in that room. Finally satisfied that the house wouldn’t burst into flames while she was away, Jasmine headed for the door. She pushed back the chain and unlocked the door; stepped out and let the early warm sun hit her face. There was hardly anyone about but it was perfect; nice and quiet, just the way she liked it. She locked and unlocked the door and locked it again then finally headed for her car.

There was a strange feeling that hit her, a feeling that she wanted to do something different for a change. It wasn’t like her to go a different route but a strange fear that the old route would have a pile up riddled her. At times her mind ran away with her and even though she knew that the majority of her thoughts weren’t rational she just couldn’t ignore them and so Jasmine took a detour.

****

H
e was already late for work! The weekend had been nothing but a drinking spree to try and get over Kimberly leaving. There was something about her departure that made Zack a little bit relieved. It was more about his ego being bruised than it was her leaving him. If he took a deep look within himself the truth was that he wasn’t in love with her. He’d loved her by his side but when it came to human relationships Kimberly wasn’t really the best candidate. That was especially when it came to his sister whom he loved dearly and if Kimberly had ever made him choose, Kimberly would’ve left anyway.