The Long Fall of Night: The Long Fall of Night Book 1 (31 page)

In apology, he kissed Elliot fervently, rutting against the cotton front of his underwear, raising his legs so Elliot slotted between them, as close as he could get. The idea of bottoming briefly flitted across his mind, and once again, he found himself considering it.

“When we get to safety and have some time and privacy, I want to try you fucking me,” he said before he could chicken out. Elliot pulled back, looking at him in genuine surprise. Ash didn’t like the distance between them, so he grabbed Elliot to bring them flush again, rocking his hips harder, closing his eyes so he didn’t have to endure the scrutiny.

“I didn’t know you bottomed,” Elliot whispered, lowering his forehead to Ash’s shoulder. His hot breath on Ash’s skin drove him crazy with need, but he held himself in check. Elliot was the skittish one this time, the one holding back, and Ash didn’t want to piss him off.

“I don’t,” Ash answered. “Tried it once and hated it, but it could have been the guy I was with. Maybe I’m a slut for it and just don’t know it.”

Elliot huffed a laugh and licked his collarbone. The heat in Ash’s belly coiled, Elliot’s tongue breaking his resolve to push. He snapped like a glow stick, his need seeping through his limbs to light him up. He yanked Elliot’s underwear down his ass and fingered along his crack, wanting to sink into that warmth and hold the guy close when they came, swallowing his moans and pleas for more with kisses and promises to always be there. His arousal was the one thing that kept him going, kept him from examining those thoughts too closely.

“God, do something, Elliot. Please.”

Elliot put his hand over Ash’s mouth. “Shhh, you’re getting loud. You want Brian to hear us?”

“Brian knows, El,” Ash said, muffled behind Elliot’s palm. “I don’t think he’d have sent me in here to watch over you if he wasn’t sure you’d welcome it. If he doesn’t know details, he suspects.”

Elliot went still. “Maybe I should tell him, so he doesn’t have to guess.”

Ash nodded, those words sending shivers across his skin, featherlight touches designed to tickle and promise. “Maybe I should tell my sister,” he offered.

Elliot swallowed audibly. “If you want.”

It was as close to permission as he could have hoped for, and a crack inside him mended itself. He hadn’t broken them entirely when he’d pushed Elliot away. He was being given another chance. To his shock, his eyes prickled, and he closed them, burying his face in Elliot’s shoulder and heaving a deep breath to calm himself.

Elliot reached between them and fondled his balls, hefting them and gently squeezing, then slid up Ash’s dick to grip it. Ash had to bite back a moan and barely managed it. Brian may have known, but if they got too loud, the others would, too. Telling Charlotte about them was perfectly fine, but having Jason and Tim know? Probably not wise. He wasn’t sure about Aaron and Jennifer, though some of the comments Aaron had made throughout the day made him think the guy was pretty accepting.

“Please,” he whispered, releasing a pent-up breath designed to muffle his noise. “Need you.”

“How?” Elliot asked.

“Inside you,” Ash panted.

“No,” Elliot said, a touch stern. “I’m not that easy anymore, Ash, no matter how much you need the comfort.”

The words banked his fire to mere glowing embers, and he cupped Elliot’s cheek. “I never thought you were easy,” he said. “I never meant to make you feel that way.”

Elliot looked distinctly uncomfortable, his hips slowing to a stop. “Then why was it so easy for you to walk away?”

“It wasn’t,” Ash answered immediately. “I failed. I’m here, asking for another chance because I can’t walk away from you, Elliot.”

He suffered the scrutiny Elliot required to believe him, let off the hook only when Elliot kissed him. But this kiss told Ash everything he needed to know, the hesitancy gone from the sweep of Elliot’s tongue. He wrapped around the wiry body against him, rubbing his cock along Elliot’s, the head catching on the edge of his waistband.

This time, when Elliot’s hand slid between them, it bypassed Ash’s aching hard-on and dipped into the space behind his balls, pressing into the sensitive skin. He widened his legs and arched his back, the sensation foreign enough to excite him even as the intention behind it worried him. They didn’t have the space or the seclusion for this, but he wasn’t about to stop Elliot now. Not when he’d just got him where he wanted him.

The tip of Elliot’s finger tapped at his hole, and Ash huffed, self-conscious and more glad for their earlier swim than ever. “I don’t know if I can do it here,” he admitted. “Not enough room, and I might not be all that quiet.”

“That’s okay.” Elliot took his hand away and brought it to his mouth, pushing his middle finger inside and sucking, making a show of swirling his tongue around the digit, wetting it before extracting it. “It doesn’t have to be my dick to show you if you’re a bottom.”

The pressure on Ash’s asshole was back and more intense as Elliot slipped his slick finger inside him. The intrusion was uncomfortable, and Ash squirmed, knowing from being with others this was par for the course. It was supposed to get better. Elliot worked his finger deeper, but the sensation never morphed from foreign and awkward to pleasurable. Even when he brushed the pad of his finger over Ash’s prostate, all that happened was a jolt of intensified discomfort. Still, Ash gritted his teeth and willed himself to accept the invasion. This was Elliot. He
wanted
Elliot inside him. He cared about him, and he was well aware of Elliot’s feelings. If anyone would be the one to make him like bottoming, it would be this guy.

The pressure of a second finger was almost too much, but Ash pushed himself, hoping to relax his muscles enough to allow it. With two inside, just to the first knuckle, he couldn’t help it; he clamped down. His erection had deflated. Breathing as evenly as he could, Ash swallowed, a shudder tap-dancing in his gut.

“I don’t think I can,” he finally whispered, admitting defeat. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Elliot murmured, kissing him along his jaw.

“I want to. Maybe just not here.”

Elliot nodded against him, moving his mouth to his ear. “It’s not for everyone.”

Ash couldn’t answer, disappointment nearly overwhelming him, and he wanted to find the heat between them again. Needed to find it. “I want to suck you.” Elliot would be inside him in one form or another tonight.

When Elliot pulled away, vulnerability crashed over Ash, and he tried to quell it by stroking his dick, needing the burn of arousal to consume the nerves. He licked his palm and gripped himself again as Elliot shucked his underwear.

“Sit on my chest,” he instructed.

Elliot complied, and Ash kept one arm free while Elliot hovered over him, his stroking arm trapped to his side by Elliot’s thigh. Gripping the globe of Elliot’s ass with the unoccupied hand, he urged him forward and captured Elliot’s cock with his lips. The musky scent was an aphrodisiac when he needed it most, and he opened wide and urged Elliot to push to the back of his throat.

Huffing out a startled breath, Elliot experimentally pumped his hips and Ash encouraged it, squeezing the butt cheek in his hand and letting out a quiet groan. With his tongue, he pressed Elliot’s shaft against his palate and sucked hard.

“Oh god,” Elliot whispered, thrusting less tentatively. Ash kept the pressure, moving his hand to Elliot’s crack and stroking over Elliot’s hole.

Elliot’s reaction to the touch was the opposite of Ash’s, reaching behind him with a hand to spread his ass open. Ash took that as an invitation and pushed a dry finger into Elliot’s sphincter so when Elliot pumped his hips, he’d fuck his finger and his mouth. When Elliot’s pace picked up, Ash speared him with two fingers, rewarded with a breathy moan. The hairless, wrinkled skin of Elliot’s nut sack brushed his chin as Ash took him deep.

This was the intimacy he was searching for, the closeness he craved that Elliot’s penetrating fingers had chased away. He wanted to urge Elliot to move faster, but he wasn’t willing to let him out of his mouth long enough to say the words. Instead, he pushed his fingers into Elliot’s ass as far as he could and crooked them, a come hither gesture inside that sparked Elliot’s prostate. For the first time, Elliot lost control and pumped hard into his mouth.

Yes, give it to me
, Ash thought, speeding up the hand on his cock. The sound seemed to cut through Elliot’s pleasure fog to realize Ash
wanted
him to use his mouth that way, so he complied. A few minutes of piston-pumping his hips, and Elliot was losing all shreds of control. His moans were louder, his dick sliding in farther, his face open and ecstatic with abandon.

He’s beautiful
.
Nerdy hipster beautiful.
Ash marveled at how that turned him on and his orgasm blindsided him, burning from his gut and out his dick almost before he realized he was going to come. The first couple of pulses hit Elliot’s back just above his ass crack and slid between his cheeks and onto Ash’s fingers as they sank into the heat of Elliot’s body.

Ash froze, not sure if Elliot was aware he had come in his ass. He didn’t seem to be, because his movements didn’t slow. If anything, they sped up. Ash continued to spasm his completion, and he used the hand no longer holding his cock to try and wipe the jizz out of Elliot’s crack so there would be minimal penetration. He knew he was in the clear, but Elliot didn’t, and Ash didn’t want to give him any more reason to stress out.

Oh god, he’s going to fucking flip and then have a seizure, and it’ll be all my fault.

The salty, bitter taste of Elliot’s spunk hit the back of his throat, and Elliot dragged the whisper of Ash’s name out of the depths of his lungs, the thump of climax making his cock dance on Ash’s tongue. It was hot, and Ash let himself savor it, knowing the moment would shatter when Elliot’s awareness returned.

He studied Elliot’s face fervently as the softened prick slid from his mouth. Ash licked his lips and pulled his fingers from Elliot’s hole. There had to be no doubt in Elliot’s mind what that sticky slickness was between his cheeks. To his surprise, Elliot shifted to kiss him with an unexpected intensity, and even as they shared Elliot’s taste between them, Ash wanted to speak.

“Elliot,” he murmured between swipes of Elliot’s tongue. “Hey.”

Elliot ignored him, laying flat out, smearing the come on Ash’s stomach into their skin. He kept the kiss going, lingering, licking into his mouth as if the goal weren’t the kiss but the taste of it.

Finally, their lips parted and Ash waited for Elliot to say something. Anything. “I’m sorry,” was on his tongue when Elliot spoke first.

“Incredible.”

“Elliot….”

“I know, Ash,” Elliot answered gently, laying his head on Ash’s shoulder. They’d lost the sleeping bag covering in their need to seek release, and Ash was grateful for his warmth, but Elliot had to be cold. “Your come is inside me.”

Ash swallowed and nodded, waiting for the panic to hit his partner. It didn’t happen. “I’m clear,” he promised. “Got tested at the beginning of the month. I’d show you the results, but they’re back in New York.”

“I believe you,” Elliot said simply, nuzzling his neck. “I’ve only ever been with you, so I’m clear, too.”

“You
believe
me?” Ash asked incredulously. “Just like that?” Then the import of Elliot’s words struck him. “You mean you were a
virgin
when I met you?”

Elliot rolled to the side and snagged the sleeping bag to cover them, apparently not caring if Ash’s mess got on the lining. “Is that a problem?” He propped his head on his bicep, looking at Ash with an innocence that was endearing, beguiling, and almost infuriating.

Ash turned on his side and cupped Elliot’s face. “No,” he said softly, stroking his thumb along Elliot’s cheekbone. “I wish you’d told me, but of course it’s not a problem.”

“If I’d told you I’d never done anything more than a furtive handjob with a closeted friend in high school, you’d have run away screaming.”

He wasn’t wrong. Ash wouldn’t have wanted to shoulder that responsibility had he known. “Still, you shouldn’t just believe people when they tell you they’re clear.”

Elliot raised a brow. “Are you lying?”

“No, but—”

“Are you going to fuck anyone else behind my back?”

“Not exactly a lot of options even if I wanted them, which I don’t. So no.”

“Then it’s fine. We should probably save the condoms for rainwater anyway. I didn’t pack the pre-lubed ones from Charlotte’s. After my seizure, I didn’t think of it, and we left in too big a hurry for me to remember.”

The practicality in Elliot’s tone had Ash off balance, until the image of him sliding bare into Elliot’s ass made his cock twitch, and his thoughts derailed into naughtyland. Elliot brought him back with a gentle kiss.

“Are you better now?”

Ash blinked. “Huh?”

“You came in here all wound up with the excuse Brian wanted you to watch over me, but it was really because you were crawling out of your skin, wasn’t it?”

He spluttered. “No! Brian really did tell me to come in here.”

“Sure,” Elliot smiled, obviously not buying it. “And you wanted to relax me with your magic peen, so my stress from dickweed Jason would ease, is that right?”

Ash buried his face in the shirt Elliot had been using as a pillow to keep his laughter from ringing too loud in the stillness beyond the tent. When he had himself under control, he grabbed Elliot, wrapping arms and legs around him despite Elliot’s squawk of protest.

“You’re a little shit.”

They were silent for a long while, and Ash started drifting off, the warmth of Elliot tucked in his side a solid, soothing reassurance. Elliot brought him back to the surface with sleepy words.

“It worked.”

“What did?” he murmured, keeping his eyes closed.

“Your magic dick.”

“Elliot?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and go to sleep.”

I
will love
the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.

—Og Mandino

“
Y
OU’RE TOO LOUD
,” Donnie snapped at Chris. “I thought you were supposed to be the sneaky one.”

“That wasn’t me!” Chris protested, his attentive gaze penetrating the trees.

“Then what was it?” Donnie demanded in a harsh whisper.

Chris pointed to a young buck farther up the trail, foraging for food and unaware of their presence. Or it had been until Donnie said something. The buck turned and crashed through the foliage. They listened until the sound faded.

“You’re both too loud,” Ness said calmly. “Hand signals, man. If you need to bitch at each other, learn fucking sign language.”

Chris glared at him for getting them in trouble, but Donnie didn’t care. He was past the point of giving a shit what would upset Chris, given how his best friend didn’t seem to care Donnie was upset, too. Chris still hadn’t spilled the beans about what bothered him, and in the last couple days he’d become more sullen. Donnie was in full make-Chris-blow mode, which had been complicated by their assignment. Hard to start a fight when they were supposed to be invisible.

Donnie got his frustration under control and crept forward, looking over the ridge to their left for a good spot to settle in and observe the trail. They’d been helicoptered into the mountains fifty or so miles west of Fort Collins and a few miles north of State Highway 14. There weren’t many roads cutting through from east to west, and there were patrol teams who needed to watch them all, but there were also teams stationed a few miles to either side of the highways in case people tried to cross on foot. Trails were their best bets to catch border jumpers. Anyone who tried to cross without following a trail was very likely going to die before they could make it, so survival of the fittest took care of them before Shockwave had to.

They’d been in the mountains for two days, and this was the first opportunity they’d had to put into practice the crash course they’d gotten from the rangers at the small base camp where they’d been dropped off. The rangers had given them pointers and the use of ghillie suits.

“The people trying to cross to the west know they’re not supposed to, so they’re sneaky,” Greg, the ranger squad’s leader, had told them. “If they’ve strayed from roads to the trails, they’re hoping to get past us. You can probably get away with a little face paint and your regular gear, but it’s kind of fun to jump out at them looking like monsters. One guy wet himself, not realizing we weren’t a family of Bigfoots.”

Donnie had taken to the Rangers, shadowing them at every opportunity to ask questions and glean whatever information he could from their experience. When they melted into the greenery to take up position, they really did disappear. Donnie had a total hard-on for them. Or, well, their job. They weren’t too hard on the eyes either, not that he would say that out loud.

However fun the ghillie suit was, though, he was hot and irritable, and it kept snagging along his front, making him wish they’d reconsidered them. He supposed they needed the experience, but that didn’t make them any less uncomfortable.

When he surveyed his surroundings after they’d settled, he realized they were really damned effective. He couldn’t see his comrades, and he knew where to look. Their objective was to wait for someone to happen along, listening for sounds of humanity. Keeping still was the hardest part, but when he’d spotted Chris across the trail and up the ridge, he took the opportunity to study him openly, as best he could through the face paint, dyed burlap, and netting of the suit.

Chris didn’t move. He didn’t fidget. He barely blinked, keeping his eyes at half-mast so the whites showed as little as possible. Roger had questioned the point of getting all geared up when they weren’t after hostile marks, but Ness had told him it was an opportunity to get field training in a safe environment while still fulfilling their orders. Even if it was overkill, it was useful. And to suck it up and deal.

Donnie should have known Chris would take to it like a fish to water. The wind made the material of his suit shiver and shush like the surrounding leaves and branches, and Donnie had the brief thought that Chris was a beautiful man. A frustrating one, but very appealing.

His thoughts were interrupted by voices, and he watched the trail for signs of life. Ten minutes later, two figures came into view, hulking and misshapen in the shadows until they got closer, the packs on their backs denoting experienced hikers with provisions enough for days in the mountains. They were armed as well, comfortably carrying rifles. The team stayed put until the pair, two men in jeans and light jackets, good boots, and hats, their facial hair well grown in and a little unkempt, were almost upon them. The smell reached Donnie from feet away. These men had been in the bush a while, if their body odor was anything to go by.

He stepped from his hiding place, making sure they saw he was armed, too, and his gun was bigger than theirs.

“Going somewhere?” he asked as the two men flinched, one of them giving a startled shout.

“You shall not pass,” Chris said from his nine o’clock. The other three remained hidden, providing cover should this deteriorate. Donnie had to suppress a laugh at Chris’s
Lord of the Rings
reference.

“Just out for a hike,” one of the men tried, clutching his chest. “You scared the hell out of us.”

“A hike, huh?” Donnie said, playing along.

“Yeah, we’re doing Lower Dadd Gulch Trail today,” the second man specified. “We’ve been hitting all the trails in the Roosevelt National Forest this month and then we’re going south to the Arapahoe trails.”

Donnie narrowed his eyes. “How long you been out here?”

“Three weeks?” He looked at his companion for confirmation. “Yeah, a little over three weeks, I think. What day is it?”

“Wednesday,” Chris said sarcastically.

“April 29,” Donnie supplied. “Three weeks plus puts you leaving home at what, April 8 or around there?”

“We left on the sixth. First Monday of April.”

They don’t know, then.

Donnie shared a look with Chris, who stepped forward. “Where are you gentlemen from?”

“Loveland,” they said in unison.

Having studied the state map, and more specifically the mountain region, Donnie knew they were about seventy miles northeast of home. Their story was certainly plausible.

“You been in contact with anyone from home?”

The two men exchanged a glance. “We’re both widowers. We told our grief support group about this trip, but there’s no one at home to talk to other than our counselors. Figured coming out here would help us get some perspective.”

Donnie’s suspicion dissipated. “Is it working?” he asked sympathetically.

The first man sniffed. “Not that it’s any of your business, but it’s always helpful to get in touch with oneself through nature. What’s with the getups?”

Ness chose that moment to step out of her spot, to the left of the men being questioned. Once again, they jumped in surprise.

“Good Lord, how many of you are there?”

“Sirs, we need to ask you to return to your homes,” Ness said, ignoring their question. “There’s been a national emergency, and this area is restricted. All national park trails are closed until further notice. I’m surprised you weren’t informed with each new trail you reached. Parks employees have been instructed to evacuate all trails and campgrounds. How did you not hear the parks were closed?”

The sheepish look that crossed the men’s faces told Donnie everything he needed to know. They’d been skirting the official logs the national parks kept of visitors, where they collected fees and checked permits. These men were off the grid.

“We haven’t exactly checked in,” one of them finally admitted.

“What sort of national emergency?” the other asked, Ness’ words sinking in.

Since the men would find out upon returning to their hometown, Donnie decided to tell them. “There’s been a power grid failure. It’s pretty widespread, and we’re making sure the areas still receiving utilities aren’t overrun with those who are in the blackout. You’re not allowed any farther west than this point, and with the parks being closed, there’s no reason for you to be out here. You need to return to Loveland and contact the nearest military installation there to receive further instructions. There are areas of Colorado still receiving electricity, so you might be some of the lucky ones. You need to turn around and go back.”

“Last I checked, this was a free country,” the shorter of the two men said, jutting his chin defiantly.

“Sir,” Ness said, stepping closer to back them down the trail. “The governor of Colorado has declared a state of emergency, as well as martial law, so while the United States is still free, there are rules to be adhered to. Your presence here is in violation of those rules. If you refuse to do as you’re told, we’ll have no other choice but to take you into custody and send you to Denver, where you will be charged accordingly and court-martialed under the rules of the Uniform Code of Military Justice at Buckley Air Force Base.”

The men exchanged wary, nervous glances. “Are you serious?”

“Gentlemen,” Ness said, backing them farther down the trail. “You have a minute left to make your decision. Return home or find out how serious I am. Sixty, fifty-nine, fifty-eight….”

“Okay, okay,” the first man acquiesced, raising his hands in surrender. “We’re going. We honestly didn’t know.”

Donnie stayed at Ness’ six, backing her up as she walked them down the trail, still counting down. “You might want to provision up somewhere if you can, until you make it back home and contact the military stationed in Loveland. They’ll take you to a shelter where basics are available, but you have a couple days’ walk unless you have a vehicle, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve been siphoned dry, if that’s the case.”

“You’re really not kidding. Are you park employees?”

“Army, First Battalion, 159
^th
Infantry Regiment, San Diego, California,” Donnie rattled off. Normally they wouldn’t specify, but these men appeared clueless, not deceptive, and if they knew they were facing honest-to-god US soldiers, they’d hightail it faster.

“Thirty-three, thirty-two….” Ness counted.

“Okay, we’re going.” They turned and quickly disappeared down the trail.

Ness turned to him after they were sure the men weren’t taking another tack to get around them. Well, if they were, the other trails were being watched, as was the highway. If those two tried to get west despite their believable story, one of the other patrol teams would snatch them. Ness gestured to Burgess, who radioed the details of the encounter to officer in charge of transmissions for all the border teams from a comm HQ outside Fort Collins. If these guys tried to play clueless again, they’d be arrested and sent to Buckley.

“Too much information, Corporal,” Ness admonished Donnie. “Name, rank, and serial number, numbnuts.”

He rolled his eyes, making sure she was no longer looking so she wouldn’t see his insolence. Despite it being kind of fun jumping out at people, his sour mood still simmered below the surface.

“They weren’t taking us seriously enough.”

“Then next time, raise your gun.”

“These are US citizens,” he protested.

“And you’re a US soldier, Scanlon. Act like it.”

“They weren’t going to drag us off to a POW camp and torture us for information. Hell, they didn’t even know what’s going on. That takes a special kind of clueless.”

She turned back to him. “We don’t know who did this, so anyone we cross paths with could be the responsible party. Maybe they’re pissed they didn’t get the whole country in one fell swoop and are trying to get west in order to finish the job. Playing clueless would be a pretty good story to get out of trouble. You ever think of that?”

He opened his mouth to argue, but shut it again. No, he hadn’t considered that. Shit.

“Point taken.” He backed down. “Won’t happen again, Sergeant.”

“No, it won’t, soldier,” she said smartly, resuming her hiding place.

He returned to his spot along the trail and bumped right into Chris, who gave him a concerned look.

“You okay?”

“What the fuck do you care?” he growled.

“Whoa, what the hell, Donnie?”

He shouldered past, sinking to his knees beside a bush instead of laying on his stomach.

They stayed out all day, but nothing more exciting happened unless they counted the pair of badgers that trundled by, sniffing the air and moving on. The animals gave their area a wide berth, but it was obvious they hadn’t seen the group. Donnie wondered how good badger eyesight was.

Returning to the camp at the bottom of the mountain, Matt, Ness, and Roger cleaned up first and checked in with comm HQ before rustling up some chow, leaving Donnie and Chris alone in the small hiker’s cabin they’d taken over as their shelter. There were two rooms, a main one with furniture circled around a rough-hewn stone fireplace large enough to heat the whole cabin. The second room was full of bunks, ten in all, and one corner was curtained off around a shower and toilet. The cabin had a propane tank so the water was warm, and despite the small size, it was better than they’d expected. Donnie stood in front of the small mirror affixed to the wall beside the curtain, a basin of green-tinted water on the small shelf beneath the mirror. The face paint stuck like a second skin, and he rubbed the towel harder to scrub it off, leaving red marks on his cheeks.

“Missed some,” Chris said, leaning against the wall beside the mirror, pointing to his own ear to indicate where Donnie still had paint.

“I’m not exactly done, am I?” he snapped.

“What is your problem, asshole?” Chris retorted. “You’ve been a dick to me since we left Denver.”

“Takes one to know one.”

“Oh, is that like, ‘I know you are, but what am I?’ Real mature, Donnie.”