The Long Fall of Night: The Long Fall of Night Book 1 (29 page)

Riley smiled but said nothing, still shy.

“We have deer meat, if you’re interested,” Aaron offered, reaching behind him for his pack.

“Are you sure we should be sharing food?” Tim muttered. It wasn’t loud, but in the quiet of the deepening night, Elliot heard him. Honestly, he couldn’t blame the guy. He didn’t want to share their supplies either.

“It’ll be fine,” Aaron assured him. “Goodwill and all that. We’ve got plenty, and it’ll go off soon. No sense wasting it.”

That warmed Elliot a little, and when Aaron pulled out a double-bagged gallon-size Ziploc containing what was clearly a large amount of deer meat, he couldn’t help the loud rumble his stomach gave. The whole group laughed.

“We shot this deer last night, and ate so much we had to roll to our tents,” Jennifer said with a smile. “But we can’t keep it cold, so we have to eat it up. You guys hungry?”

“We could stand a little more in our bellies,” Brian said cautiously. “If you want, I can show you how to cure that so you don’t have to try and eat a whole deer in a day. Lasts longer that way.”

“That’d be great,” Aaron said enthusiastically. “Probably should eat this batch now, but if you can tell us how to do that, we’ll be grateful. I’m not even sure it’s still good.”

Charlotte disentangled herself from Riley and went for their cooking equipment. Ash crouched over the fire and settled the grate over the tongues of flame. Brian explained how to cut the meat in strips and dry it over a small fire until the temperature reached 160°, keeping the strips from touching and the fire banked to low heat.

“It works better if you can refrigerate it or make a marinade.” He rattled off an easy marinade recipe and told them they could probably find the ingredients at Evergreen Lake’s camp store. “The salt in the marinade dries it out faster, which ups your chances of killing all the bacteria. It takes several hours over a fire, but if you have the time, you can bag it up, and it’ll stay good for a couple weeks. But you have to keep it cold while marinating. I don’t know how you’d do that without ice.”

“I’m sure we can think of something,” Aaron said with a smile as he leaned over the fire to put cuts of meat in the pan Charlotte heated, adding a few pinches of different spices to it, along with what Elliot thought might have been oil. Soon, the campsite was filled with the savory smell of cooking meat. When it was done, they tucked in and had what for Ash’s group was a second dinner.

“So why are you going west?” Brian asked when he finished his food.

Jennifer shrugged. “I’ve got family, same as you. Oregon, though.” She shared a look with Aaron, and Elliot wondered what it meant.

“I just don’t want to join the military,” Tim chimed in with a grin. “Those rules and shit would make me nuts, and I’d probably end up in front of a firing squad within a week. I’m not cut out for following orders. Free spirits should roam.”

“Damn right,” Jason agreed as he popped the last bite of his dinner in his mouth. “I’m with Tim. We don’t like to sit still on a normal day, so this trip was too good to pass up. Hoping maybe we can do some rock climbing or whitewater rafting when it’s time to cross the Rockies. Colorado River has some class five rapids I’m determined to conquer.”

“How about you?” Jennifer aimed her question at Charlotte.

“We have family, like Ash said, but mainly we don’t want to be stuck in a temporary town run by military people who give us no say in how we live our lives. I want my kid to have as normal a childhood as possible. Hopefully this trip just ends up being, ‘that one summer when,’ for him.” Charlotte squeezed Riley fondly. The boy had begun to fall asleep against her. The long days of walking were really taking a toll on him. Ash stood to carry him to Charlotte’s tent, and she smiled gratefully. Elliot couldn’t help gazing after the lithe form of his former lab partner across the campsite, even as he kicked himself for admiring.

Ash is done with you, so quit pining.

“I just want to go west,” Jason said, drawing Elliot’s attention. “We haven’t seen California yet. But I won’t end up in San Francisco, if I have a say.” He shuddered as if that explained everything.

Elliot narrowed his eyes, about to say something when Charlotte beat him to it.

“What’s wrong with San Francisco?”

Jason studied her, then shrugged. “Lots of homeless there, and it’ll probably get worse after all this.” He swept the air around him to emphasize the world at large. “Plus, that’s one lifestyle I’m not interested in exploring, thank you very much.”

Aaron and Jennifer shifted on the log beside Jason, not making eye contact.

“What lifestyle?” Elliot asked, his voice surprising even him in its neutrality.

“You know,” Jason said as if that were all he needed to say.

“I don’t think I do,” Elliot pushed.

“Let’s just say I’d rather go somewhere cleaner.”

Ash walked back into their circle then, sitting on the bench beside Elliot and rejoining the conversation. “Cleaner than where?”

“San Francisco,” Jason said, growing visibly uncomfortable.

“San Francisco is dirty?” Ash asked, the picture of innocence. “I heard it’s a fun place.”

Jason merely shook his head, and Ash, uncharacteristically oblivious, leaned into Elliot’s side, drawing warmth from him. Elliot wasn’t so caught up in trying to decide if he should confront Jason that he was immune to his crush. Against his better judgment, he returned the contact, dropping his hand to the tiny space between their thighs to press his fingers into Ash’s leg. He hoped Ash would take his hand, but he didn’t, once again leaving Elliot with less than he needed.

If he can’t be enough for you, find someone who can,
he thought, followed by,
Yeah, because the dating options are so abundant in the middle of an apocalypse.

“I bet like any town, it has its good and bad traits,” Aaron said. Elliot picked up a definite peacekeeper vibe in those words.

“People are the same way, good and bad. Usually doesn’t matter what town they live in, either,” Ash said, rubbing his hands together. “I can’t wait until the nights are warmer,” he muttered.

Jennifer jumped on the subject change, and they switched to small talk, for which Elliot was grateful, even if he still wanted to pursue Jason’s discomfort with San Francisco. They learned Aaron was a volunteer firefighter and full time paramedic, which made Elliot exchange relieved glances with Brian. Jennifer was a yoga instructor, and the reason they were avoiding the military was she was three months pregnant, and Aaron didn’t want them to get separated.

Jason and Tim were more uncertain, chasing adrenaline highs and chances to notch their extreme sports belts. Neither had more than part time jobs as clerks in stores for a few months at a time. Ash told them more of what he knew about EMPs—leaving his uncle’s warning entirely out of it, Elliot noticed—and Brian gave them his China theory, too, without explaining how he came to be an expert on the subject. They were still keeping things close to the vest, but as the night wore on, it appeared his group was beginning to open up Aaron’s.

Elliot fought a rise of unease in his chest, and a few times, he spotted Charlotte watching the new group with narrowed eyes. No one fully trusted anyone yet. But before long, Jennifer and Charlotte were sitting beside each other and had their heads down in quiet conversation as the rest of the group discussed the route they were taking, tips they’d learned along the way—Jason and Tim had snickered like adolescent boys at the mention of unlubricated condoms as a means of water collection—and all the rumors they’d heard. Tim seemed particularly full of information regarding the disaster, with the exception of Washington, D.C. He talked about rumors of riots they’d narrowly avoided and people being attacked for various reasons. There was a phoniness to Tim’s information, his tone too full of boasting.

He’s probably just guessing to make himself seem more important,
Elliot thought with a hint of bitterness. There was something about those two. He didn’t get danger vibes from Aaron or Jennifer, but Jason and Tim were setting off low alarm bells in his gut, making the deer meat he’d eaten roll over in an excruciatingly slow somersault. Either that, or their assessment of the meat being unspoiled was wrong.

Unable to pinpoint why, Elliot didn’t feel he could say anything, and frankly, as the conversation wore on, he found himself more interested by Ash’s proximity than in the new people.

“Thank you for the venison,” he said, standing to stretch. “I’m calling it quits. I think the crickets kept me up half of last night.” The other group eyed him with different expressions. Jennifer and Aaron were both friendly, nodding off his thanks with a ‘don’t mention it’ wave. But Jason and Tim were cautious. Elliot couldn’t blame them if it was general wariness, but he decided if they were still there in the morning, he’d keep a close eye on them. They made him uneasy.

Brian bid him goodnight, but Ash stood with him. “I’ll wake you for your turn on night watch.”

Elliot nodded and went to his and Brian’s tent to get what rest he could. He’d
almost
asked Ash to come in to talk privately, thinking maybe his fears would be better dealt with if they were shared, but he didn’t want to give his heart a chance to hope such an encounter would turn into more.

O
ne has
to accept pain as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to the total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying.

—Morris West

“
I
THINK
WE CAN REACH Pekin, Illinois, by the end of the day if we walk an extra hour,” Ash said, consulting the GPS unit. “We’re making good time.”

“We’ll be setting up camp in the dark,” Charlotte griped.

“We have enough people to hold flashlights for us now,” Ash shot back with a wink.

He was tired, his feet hurt from walking for more than a week, and his mood was for shit, but he kept up the brave front to boost his sister, who flagged badly. Frankly, he was glad the four additions to their group had decided to stick with them. Jennifer in particular seemed excited to be around another woman.

“I vote for the estrogen,” she’d said when the group had discussed pooling their resources as they’d broken camp that morning. “I swear, this baby will come out a boy from all the testosterone flying between these three, regardless of chromosomes.”

“We’ll love him or her anyway.” Aaron had smiled and kissed her cheek. “Even if he wants to curl his hair and wear a skirt, or if she prefers wearing boy clothes and blowing shit up.”

Ash welcomed them in the hope that Jennifer’s common interest in all things child rearing would help Charlotte focus not on how their situation could harm Riley, but on how she was helping the young woman facing bringing a baby into a society falling in shambles around their ears.

He did, however, notice Elliot’s silence. Elliot was pretty reserved, but when opinions were in the offing, he usually gave a well-considered one. During this morning’s discussion, he’d been mute, busying himself with arranging his pack and pulling out his iPod and headphones. Brian and Ash had frowned at each other. As a result, they’d shadowed him, allowing him space enough to block out the conversation with music but keeping an eye out for absence seizures.

I shouldn’t have been so quick to drop him
, Ash thought, kicking himself as he had since the minute breaking up had dropped from his mouth. Not that they’d been dating. But Ash wasn’t deluded enough to deny they’d had something, and at the first sign of difficulty, he’d retreated.
Just like you do with everyone.

He honestly didn’t think his proximity would “fix” Elliot, but it wasn’t outlandish that Elliot had drawn strength from him and vice versa. Ash was an idiot for having lost sight of that. He genuinely liked Elliot, and while he’d been okay thinking in school they were just scratching an itch, he knew now that wasn’t all it was. He
liked
Elliot’s company, and in avoiding thinking about it, Ash had taken away that companionship. From both of them.

Because I was scared, dammit,
he argued with himself. At least he could admit it now. What to do about it was the question. Would Elliot think Ash was using him to get through a difficult time if he tried again? Unless…. If Elliot believed Ash genuinely wanted to be around
him
without the benefits, maybe he’d undo some of the damage.

He brought up the rear of their group, with Elliot directly in front of him, so he took longer steps to catch up, reaching out to brush Elliot’s hand and get his attention.

Elliot took out his earbuds, and Ash waited for him to turn off the song. Keeping his voice low, he asked, “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, why?” Elliot said, just as low, but his eyes were more expressionless than Ash had seen them since… well, since ever. Elliot’s walls were way up, and Ash needed to find out a way to bring them down. Or climb them. In the week plus since he’d ended their arrangement, Elliot had barely spoken to him, and even then, nothing beyond logistics. It drove Ash nuts.

“You’re so quiet. And risking your battery.” He gestured to where Elliot had stuffed the iPod back in his pocket. “Anything I can help with?”

“Sure it won’t
complicate
things?” Elliot sneered.

“Okay, I deserve that.” They walked for several paces, and Ash let Elliot’s derision roll off his back. Even answering his questions was an improvement over their contact the last several days. “Would it help if you know I feel like an ass for shutting you down? That maybe I pushed you away because I’m a fucking douchebag sometimes, and if there was a way I could fix it, I would?”
Sure, beat him over the head with it.

Elliot stared at him, and finally, softened. “You may not have been wrong, Ash,” he conceded. “I told you from the start, I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not. Frankly, I’m glad you came.” Ash slipped his hand into Elliot’s and squeezed. But he didn’t linger, conscious that Elliot had never answered the question of what he wanted the others to know. “I’d miss you if you weren’t here,” he said. Elliot stared at him, surprised. Heat infused Ash’s cheeks. “I would. You’re my friend. My only one, if I’m honest.”

Elliot studied him, then nodded. “Okay. I can be your friend.”

“You know.” Ash smiled and bumped Elliot’s shoulder. “Friends tell each other when something bothers them.”

“Do they now?” Elliot asked, a smile of his own cropping up. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You’re determined to punish me, aren’t you?” Ash asked, amused.

Elliot actually winked. “If thinking so floats your boat.”

Ash barked a laugh, and goddamn, did it feel good. The others looked at them. Laughter was a rare occurrence these days.

“Kinky fucker,” he muttered, then sobered. “I’m serious, though. If you want to talk. About anything. Even if it’s to bitch me out for being a dick….”

Elliot started to say something, but a loud noise interrupted, and they looked up to see Jason brandishing a large slat of wood from the fence beside which they’d been walking at the border of a farmer’s field. Tim followed suit, yanking a board and beginning a sword fight. The clash of wood echoed along the tree line, their shouts of, “en garde” and, “You killed my father, prepare to die!” ringing loud.

“Do you guys mind?” Ash asked, striding forward to yank Jason’s board out of his hands. “You’re going to get us noticed.”

“By who?” Jason demanded. “There’s no one around for miles.”

“Can you see for miles?” Elliot said, standing beside Ash, his shoulders squared. “Can you see through all the trees to make sure we’re the only ones out here?”

Jason scowled. “Lighten up, jeez. We’re just trying to make it fun.”

“Well, do it quieter,” Elliot snapped, yanking his earbuds from his pocket and plugging back in.

Tim narrowed his eyes at Elliot, then dropped his slat. “You’re right. Sorry.”

They spread out again, and Ash cursed the change in the group’s mood, watchful and irritated, waiting for someone to jump out at them and yell boo. A glance at Elliot’s sour face showed further discussion about his state of mind was off the table.

The rest of the morning passed with excruciating slowness, and the temperature rose, making them all sweaty. Charlotte had given Jennifer her LifeStraw, saying she’d share with Riley, and Elliot had grudgingly given his to Jason and Tim, sharing with Ash. The only thing he was grateful for was those two yahoos couldn’t swordfight with only one. He could swear they were sixteen rather than Jason’s twenty-three and Tim’s twenty-five. Elliot had more maturity in his twenty-year-old big toe than Jason and Tim had in their whole bodies. When they stopped to rustle up lunch, Riley went with Brian to set a couple snares near the banks of a small creek, and Ash gestured to Elliot to follow him in the opposite direction along the water’s edge. With few words, they filled the wide-mouthed bottles they’d acquired after running out of their supply of bottled water. Ash was hoping Elliot would open up, but it didn’t happen.

The sound of gunshots, several in quick succession, had them scrambling to return to the group, both of them holding their guns at the ready as they scanned the area from the protection of the tree line. It took seconds for Ash to relax when he spotted the circle of their people and count. All there, except Brian and Riley, who were far away from the shots. Charlotte stomped up to Jason and ripped a handgun from him, her words carrying over the distance.

“You fucking idiot! Announce to
everyone
where we are!”

“Oh shit,” Elliot muttered, shoving his gun in the waistband of his pants and moving toward them. Brian and Riley came out of the trees to their left, staying back, watchful. Brian kept Riley behind him, shielding him from danger. As Ash and Elliot reached the group, Jason was laughing.

“Oh, come on! Shooting a deer would be just as loud. What’s the difference?”

“The difference,” Elliot said, his face red. “Is that if you get a deer, we have something to eat. Not only have you now scared off anything we could have hunted, you did it to what? Kill a scarecrow?” He gestured at what had been Jason’s target, last season’s bedraggled dummy on a post amid the broken stalks of a harvested cornfield. “You’ve announced to the landowner we’re here, scared off anything Riley might have caught in his traps, and for what? A bit of fun?”

Ash stared at Elliot. He’d never seen him so angry, or aggressive, let alone confrontational.

Jason didn’t take kindly to it, either, getting up in Elliot’s face. “What are you gonna do about it?”

“Charlotte already took away your fucking gun,” Elliot said, seeming to realize he’d put himself in the sights of a bigger man he didn’t know well enough to predict. With effort, he took a deep breath to calm himself. “It’s not just about you, all right? We’re trying to get out of this mess without anyone noticing us. Think you can manage to be a
smidge
quieter and less destructive?”

Jason shoved him. Ash moved, standing between them to face the guy down.

“Keep your fucking hands off,” he growled. “You want to fight, go punch what’s left of your scarecrow.” If his words weren’t enough, he was pretty sure Jason got the point when Ash curled his hands into fists, waiting for him to make a move. Wisely, Jason backed away.

“Pushy little fuck is getting all bent out of shape over nothing. There’s no one here!” he cried, putting his arms out straight and spinning around, hollering into the trees. A flock of birds took startled flight. That was the only reaction to his shout, and after a few seconds, Jason grinned, self-satisfied. “See? If blowing off some steam on a scarecrow keeps me from punching his stupid ass for entertainment, isn’t it better for the group then?” He flung a look full of daggers at Elliot.

Tim put himself between Jason and Ash, pushing his friend’s chest gently. “Okay, everybody calm down. Jason, we can come up with better ways to make this walking shit easier than shooting inanimate objects, can’t we? I mean, come on, what happens if we haven’t caught dinner tonight when we get to camp? More freeze-dried cardboard.”

Jason’s nostrils flared, but he stood down with a grudging nod. “Yeah, whatever. These people are fucking uptight.”

“I know,” Tim said with a grin. “We’ll find a frog to put in one of their sleeping bags or something, okay? Harmless pranks are one thing. Scaring off a snack is another.”

“I’ll have him for a snack,” Jason grumbled, flipping Elliot off and stalking toward Aaron, Jennifer, and Charlotte. Aaron said something Ash didn’t catch, and Jason nodded as he walked past them, flopping to the ground where they’d set their packs.

Tim faced Ash and Elliot. “He’s an idiot,” he said low enough Jason wouldn’t hear. “I’ll keep him out of your hair. But when he gets bored, he makes his own fun. Give him a job, something to keep him occupied, and it’ll be easier on all of us.”

“We’re not his fucking cruise directors,” Elliot complained, but Ash snagged his forearm to keep him quiet.

“Ask him if he’d mind entertaining Riley while we walk.”

Charlotte opened her mouth to argue, having come over to pass Ash Jason’s gun.

Ash cut her off before she could protest. “We’ve been playing roadside bingo and I Spy. All of us play, but it helps make this a vacation for Riley and not a scary trip across the country because normal life has fallen apart and people are killing each other.”

Tim nodded in agreement. “Jason’s a little kid at heart, so that should keep him busy.”

Elliot scowled as Tim moved off. “Why are we putting up with them?” he demanded once Tim was out of earshot. “Why didn’t we say ‘thanks for the deer meat’ last night and wish them a safe journey this morning? They’re going to get us killed.”

Ash eyed Elliot. “Is that what’s been bothering you all day?” he asked.

Elliot fixed his glare on Ash. “There’s something not right about those two. They creep me out. Tim may be playing nice, but mark my words, they’re trouble.”

“Elliot,” Ash admonished quietly. “Aaron’s a medic. Charlotte could use a friend to help keep her from flipping out because she was attacked, her boyfriend’s dead, and her van is on the side of some road in Bumfuck, Ohio. And what Aaron said about strength in numbers isn’t wrong.”

“It is if one of them fucks the rest of us over.” Elliot crossed his arms. His swearing was testament to his level of upset. “They’re reckless, and I can’t believe you’re going along with this. If one of us had pulled that shit, you’d have shut us down so fast, our heads would spin. Those two assholes are a waste of space.”

Ash frowned. “You’re right. I won’t let it happen again. But we need them. Not the two assholes, but Aaron.”

“Why?” Elliot scowled.

“Because you’re not going to make it all the way to Seattle in these conditions without having another seizure, Elliot. I was deluded thinking I could protect you that much, and I’m admitting now I need help. As calm as you keep yourself, we’re in a fight for our lives, and we can’t exactly ask Aaron and Jennifer to stay and tell the other two ‘see ya, wouldn’t want to be ya.’ If it gets bad, then I’ll ask them to leave, but it’s only been a few hours. If keeping Aaron around means we have to keep the others, too, let’s try to make it work. Please?”