The Long Fall of Night: The Long Fall of Night Book 1 (30 page)

Elliot looked defeated, his shoulders slumping. “I’m going to have a seizure
because
of those two,” he complained, not unreasonably.

“Look, you told me after Russ died not to play field doctor because the next time, it could be you in trouble. That got my attention.” He stepped closer, putting a hand on the side of Elliot’s neck but nothing more affectionate in front of the others. He hoped Elliot could see it in his eyes. “I don’t want anything happening to you. Aaron can help. Jennifer’s a bonus. Between you, me, Charlotte, and Brian, we can keep the other two on a leash. Okay? Please, Elliot. I need you to understand.”

Elliot’s nod was reluctant at best, and Ash let his hand drop, though he really wanted to pull the guy into an embrace and reassure him he meant it. They joined the others, and when Jason sneered at Elliot, Ash snapped his finger and pointed at the man.

“Enough. Get along or leave.”

Jason glared at him but lowered his head. Brian and Riley were the last to show up, now that the fireworks were over. Jason turned his attention to the boy.

“You and me, little man. We need to come up with a game to play while we’re walking. Something better than lame roadside bingo.”

Riley’s eyes went from troubled to eager, and the tension dissipated as they discussed various rules of some kind of Frankenstein alphabet game with Twenty Questions, and truths and dares as punishments for getting the chosen object wrong. Given they had no small game to skin and cook, they were on their feet sooner than later.

They weren’t more than three minutes away from the farm with the remains of the scarecrow when an insistent buzzing reached Ash.

“Everybody down!” he hissed, grabbing Elliot’s hand and diving into the ditch. The others were quick enough to follow, and the tall weeds Ash had cursed as a nuisance all morning made a decent barrier between them and the road ten yards away.

A truck rumbled around a bend about fifty yards ahead, followed by another and another until there was a line of ten or more trundling along the asphalt. They were deep-throated, which told Ash they were probably diesel, but he didn’t dare raise his head to look.

Army transports, painted for the desert and situated high enough if one of the drivers looked over, they’d be seen lying flat out. They’d be questioned for sure why they were hiding. And then they’d be split up and put to work.

“Heads down,” Aaron said as loudly as any of them dared to speak.

They didn’t move until the caravan passed, and even then, they waited to make sure there wasn’t a second group or a straggler. After twenty minutes lying in the weeds, holding their collective breath, Ash raised his head and looked at Jason over Elliot’s still prone form.

“That’s who’s around to hear you yelling and shooting shit.”

Jason swallowed nervously. “Got it,” he answered. “Won’t happen again.”

“It better not,” Aaron said, the first with the guts to get to his knees. The rest followed suit. “I’ll personally boot your ass in the opposite direction if it does.”

“I said I got it,” Jason said sharply. “I made a mistake. I won’t do it anymore. Back off.”

“Good?” Ash asked Elliot, helping him to his feet and pulling a piece of straw from his hair.

Elliot nodded, and they melted into the trees as a precaution. They didn’t know how many more chances they’d have, but they’d just used one.

“Hey.” Brian’s voice was scratchy with sleep and the moonlight was bright enough to see how tired he was as he approached Ash, who sat on a rock just outside the ring of tents.

“Hey,” Ash answered softly. “Sleep okay?”

Brian nodded and yawned, jamming his hands in his pockets. “I kept waking up to check on Elliot, but for the most part, yeah.”

Alarm stole Ash’s breath. “He all right?”

“He’s fine.” Brian rushed to reassure him. “He was still upset about Jason, so I took it upon myself to make sure he wasn’t having trouble drifting off. It took him a while, and when he finally did, he was restless.” He glanced at the tent from which he’d emerged with a frown.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, he didn’t have any absence seizures. At least none I noticed. That’s a good sign.”

Ash pulled the gun from his waistband and handed it to Brian. He stood and stretched. “Nothing exciting out here, and I’m wired enough to hear a flea circus, as my mother used to say.”

Brian perched on the rock, which was situated on a slight rise, providing an excellent view of the camp they’d made in a stand of trees outside Pekin, Illinois. A few shadows moved, mostly small wildlife or the breeze through the trees, but otherwise, their resting place for the night was peaceful, save for the snores emerging from Jason and Tim’s tent.

Ash wasn’t sure he’d be able to sleep and honestly, he could have used some exercise to stretch his cramped muscles. A walk, or hell, even running, though he wouldn’t dare such a thing at night. Or by himself.

“Do me a favor,” Brian said in a low tone, breaking into Ash’s thoughts. “Stay with Elliot. I’m not comfortable leaving him alone. I think he’s hiding how stressed he is, and you seem to be able to relax him in a way no one else can.”

Ash studied the man to see if he’d figured out the true nature of his relationship with Elliot, such as it was, but Brian simply let him scrutinize. He looked like a concerned uncle, though there was a knowing gleam in his eye. Ash knew he wouldn’t sleep, so he might as well be useful while someone else took the burden of the group’s safety for a few hours.

“Yeah, okay. But if he wakes up and punches me because I’m not you, I get to pass it on.”

Brian agreed with a chuckle, and Ash slipped into Elliot’s tent instead of his own. Elliot wasn’t a snorer unless he was exhausted, or like on the car ride up to Charlotte’s, in a funny position. Ash pulled off his shirt and jeans, sliding into Brian’s sleeping bag with a shiver at the cool air on his bare skin. He didn’t dare touch Elliot or otherwise alert him to his presence if he didn’t have to, so he nearly jumped out of his skin when Elliot spoke.

“Get lost on the way to your own tent?”

“No,” Ash whispered when his galloping heart slowed. “Brian suggested I sleep in here in case you have difficulty. That okay with you?”

Elliot was silent for so long, Ash wondered if he’d fallen back to sleep, but he eventually answered, “I guess so.”

They lay quiet, and Ash closed his eyes, listening to the night sounds and Elliot breathing beside him, waiting for the man’s inhales and exhales to elongate, but they never did. Finally, he looked over.

The moon shone on half the tent, the shadows of the leaves on the tree above them swaying slightly. It was enough light to see Elliot studying him.

“What?”

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Elliot grumbled.

“No, you don’t,” Ash agreed. “I’m not here for that. I’m not going to tell you to go to sleep or I’ll take away your TV time. Rest or not, I don’t care. But if you start seizing, I’ll be right here to make sure you’re safe. Today wasn’t one of your calmest, so if there’s anything I can do to help, I want to.”

Elliot
harrumph
ed. “Jackass deserved to get smacked.”

Ash didn’t have to guess who he meant. “Yes he did. And the Army driving by put the fear of god in him. If he does it again, I’ll be surprised. So really, you have nothing to worry about anymore.” Elliot’s brown eyes were deep pools in the shadows of his face. Ash turned on his side and stared back. The air between them charged, and Ash wouldn’t have been surprised if his arm hairs stood on end. “I won’t let anything happen to you,” Ash murmured, sliding his hand toward Elliot in plain view so Elliot had plenty of time to rebuff him. He didn’t.

Elliot pulled his arm out of the sleeping bag and reached back until their fingers touched. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For today. Keeping me from doing something I’d regret. Helping me get perspective. I can’t put my finger on why, but that guy bugs me. His body language or something seems off, like the carefree, extreme sports junkie is an act, and he’s hiding a different purpose. Tim, too. It feels like a con.”

“After today, I won’t let them near a weapon if I can help it. We’re all watching them, so they won’t get the chance to do anything, okay?” Ash squeezed Elliot’s fingers, sliding his thumb along the ridges and valleys of Elliot’s knuckles. It was an intimate gesture, and Ash waited for Elliot to deny him.

“If you say so,” Elliot said with a put-upon sigh.

Taking a chance, Ash brought Elliot’s hand to his lips and kissed the backs of his fingers.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Taking your mind off things,” Ash answered.

“You put a stop to this.”

“And I admitted earlier today I made a mistake.”

“You think it’s a good idea? I mean, what if you freak out and end up regretting the repeat?”

Ash studied him, not hearing a rejection but not getting a go ahead either. “I like you, Elliot. We get along well, I enjoy your company, and we’re good at boosting each other when we need it. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Are you telling me you aren’t interested?”

“Are you going to be a douchebag again?” Elliot countered, avoiding the question.

“Probably,” Ash answered truthfully. “Will I close off again? I don’t know. I don’t think so, but I can be a douchebag and still want you, can’t I?”

Elliot emitted a soft chuckle. “I guess how big a douchebag you are determines if you get me, regardless of if you want me.”

“I’ll be nice,” Ash promised. Elliot’s teeth picked up the silver moonlight when he smiled. “To you. Anyone else, all bets are off.” He scooted closer, stopped by the side of Brian’s sleeping bag, but he wasn’t bold enough to climb into Elliot’s. He wasn’t even close enough to kiss him, so he did the next best thing. He turned over Elliot’s hand so his palm faced up, then kissed the dry skin at the base of Elliot’s thumb and worked his mouth toward the long fingers brushing his face. When he reached the tips, he let his tongue barely touch the warm, salty skin, leaving behind a hint of wetness. Elliot’s breathing sped up.

Ash stopped, simply looking at his friend, the guy he’d realized he really cared about. Elliot’s face was a dichotomous mask of fatigue and intensity, and Ash wanted nothing more than to kiss him into oblivion, but he didn’t move. Elliot was aware of Ash’s desires, and if he was interested, he’d say so. Of that, Ash was certain.

“Ash?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re an asshole.”

“I know,” he agreed in a whisper. “But I don’t have to be….”
Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it. Anything.

“If you could have one thing right now, of all the possible things, what would it be?” Elliot asked, his face becoming open and vulnerable.

Ash took his time considering his various answers. He’d want the power back and everyone safe, first and foremost, but he also knew there was something bigger. Still, finding a way to voice it was more than he could handle in the moment. It honestly scared him.

“Your safety and happiness,” was what he settled on, knowing that if the power was back on, he’d still want that. “What about you?”

“To believe you,” Elliot answered, his voice melancholy.

“You don’t?”

Elliot blinked at him. “I believe you think that right now, but if a genie showed up to grant wishes, I’d have to hear the words.”

Ash let the backs of his knuckles brush Elliot’s cheek. “Elliot?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

Elliot closed the distance and settled hesitant lips on his, which made Ash sad. The last time they’d been together, Elliot had been aggressive and sure of himself. This kiss was soft, as though waiting for Ash to change his mind.

To hell with that.

Ash opened his mouth wider, inviting Elliot in, teasing him with flicks of his tongue. Elliot paused a heartbeat, still only half committed.

“You can trust me,” Ash whispered, then grunted in frustration when he moved his hand to sink into Elliot’s hair only for the sleeping bag to stop him.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Elliot murmured. But he flipped open his sleeping bag and spread his arms, inviting Ash to join him, his eyes full of contrasting heat and wariness. Ash hated that he’d put that look on Elliot’s face.

Scrambling from Brian’s sleeping bag, Ash stooped, pulling off his boxer briefs before settling beside Elliot in his bedding. His erection got a shock in the chilly air, but the warmth of the body beside him kept him from flagging entirely. He cupped Elliot through his underwear, wanting to rip them off but not daring to be so pushy. Instead, he rubbed his palm across Elliot’s hardness and pushed his face into the crook of Elliot’s neck, mouthing the skin. Elliot tasted clean, the sweat and grime from walking in rising temperatures banished by a swim the group had indulged in after dinner to bathe. He nosed behind Elliot’s ear and breathed hotly over the shell.

“Make the dark not matter,” he said, parroting Elliot’s words from Charlotte’s house. “Just for a little while.”

Elliot shuddered and fully embraced him, rolling him to his back as well as he could in the tight space. Ash slipped his hands into the back of Elliot’s underwear and squeezed his ass. God, he wanted to fuck him again, but he didn’t know if Elliot would allow it. For the first time in their acquaintance, Ash was the one wanting more, unsure if his feelings were reciprocated. It was an uncomfortable, vulnerable feeling, one he was nearly overwhelmed by, and he immediately regretted how many ways he’d held Elliot at arm’s length.