The Letter (15 page)

‘Of course not, but I told you, he’s not had a drink for months. I stayed there last night and he was so gentle and caring and this morning, well, he was just like the old Rick again. I wouldn’t be going back if I didn’t believe he had changed. I have a baby to consider now.’ She rubbed her stomach and smiled.

‘And that’s another thing. What if he hurts the baby?’

‘God, Linda! You don’t know me at all, do you? Do you think I would even consider going back to him if I thought for one second he would harm the baby?’

‘I’m just saying. When’s it due anyway?’ asked Linda.

‘Christmas.’

Linda counted on her fingers. ‘So you’re five months gone? I thought you were looking a bit podgy round the middle lately.’

Tina smiled. ‘Be happy for me, Linda. I love him.’

Linda sighed. ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t be happy for you. I know love makes you blind but I didn’t know it made you stupid too.’

It was gone seven by the time Tina arrived home. She had missed the bus and had had to wait twenty minutes for another. Rick was already home and she felt a flutter of excitement as she put the key in the door.

‘Sorry, I’m late,’ she called, dragging her little suitcase into the hall. ‘I missed the bus and…’

She stopped as she saw Rick standing in the doorway of the kitchen, a cigarette hanging from his lips.

. ‘I thought you had changed your mind.’ His tone was accusatory and more than a little menacing

‘Rick, of course not.’ She ran to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, deftly avoiding the cigarette. He didn’t respond, but merely stood there rigid. She pulled away and looked at him.

‘I’m really sorry. I had a quick drink with Linda after work and then...’

Rick pushed her away. ‘You’ve been in the pub?’

Tina felt the first stirrings of panic in her stomach.

‘Well, she wanted to talk to me. Mr Jennings doesn’t like it when we gossip too much at our desks so she suggested a quick drink and then I missed the bus.’ She was aware she sounded panicky and was talking too quickly.

‘I didn’t think it would be too much to ask for my wife to be on time for her tea on her first night back, but Linda obviously comes first.’

‘Tea?’ Tina squeezed past Rick and went into the kitchen.

The table was set for two, with candles and napkins and a jam jar of her favourite freesias in the middle.

‘Well, let’s eat now, shall we. I’m starving.’

‘It’s in the bin.’

Rick turned and went into the lounge, leaving Tina alone and speechless. She was only an hour late; surely he could have waited a little longer. She sat at the table and contemplated the effort he had gone to. Maybe she was being selfish. It was her first night back and he had gone to so much trouble. Perhaps he was right, she should have been home earlier, made more of an effort. Maybe it was she who should have cooked the meal, not him. Her heart pounding, she joined him in the living room and sat beside him on the sofa. He ignored her and continued to read the paper.

‘Rick, I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?’ she said gently.

He laid down the paper on his knee and looked at her.

‘I’m disappointed in you Tina, that’s all. I thought this was what you wanted, but when you can’t even be bothered to show up, I wonder if it
is
really what you want.’

‘Of course it is, Rick. It’s all I want for the three of us to be a family.’ Her chin began to wobble and her voice cracked.

‘Well you need to show some commitment then, start putting me first for a change.’

‘I will, Rick, I’m sorry.’

In a second, his mood changed and he smiled as he put his arm around her shoulders. ‘Good girl. How about nipping down to the chippy then? It’s the least you can do.’

Tina exhaled with relief and kissed him on the cheek.

‘Of course. I won’t be long. You just put your feet up.’

Later, as she lay in his arms, she felt contentment and congratulated herself on making the right decision. In the old days her turning up late would have sent Rick off into a violent rage and she would have paid for it with a split lip or a black eye. This time, they had talked it over, remained calm and Rick had made her see the error of her ways. Linda was wrong, people could change.

‘Tina?’ Rick’s voice disturbed her reverie.

‘Yes?’

‘Tomorrow, I want you to hand your notice in at work.’

She was taken aback. ‘Why?’

‘Well, you’re going to have a baby in four months’ time anyway. I’ve got a good job now and presumably you still have some of the money left that you stole from me. You know, the money from the National.’

Tina was disappointed at his use of the word ‘stole’, but admitted that most of the money was still in the bank. She had not been reckless with it and had only used it for the essentials like food and rent.

‘That’s settled then. You can still work in the shop on Saturdays if you like. Be nice for you to get out and about a bit.’

Tina snuggled deeper into his arms and reflected on her husband’s generosity. At last he was prepared to be the main breadwinner and support her and the baby. She would stay at home and cater to their every need. Everything would be perfect.

The next day, Tina stood in front of Mr Jennings, his huge mahogany desk between them. It was the end of the day and she was eager to get home. She held the envelope in one hand and flapped it rhythmically against the other.

‘What’s this, Tina?’

‘It’s my notice, Mr J.’ She handed him the letter. ‘One week’s notice.’

‘I’m not taking that,’ he replied, his hands still clasped in front of him.

‘I’m afraid you’re going to have to.’ She dropped the letter on to the desk.

‘You’re my best girl, Tina, you know that. You put Linda and the others to shame. What’s brought this on?’

‘Well, my husband now has a great job, we have a bit of money put by and, in any event, I’m pregnant.’

‘I see.’ Mr Jennings picked up the envelope and carefully opened it. ‘And this is what you want?’

Tina wasn’t sure how to answer. It was really what Rick wanted, but she could see the sense in it too. How could she look after a baby and work as well? Rick was right. Her place was in the home, looking after him and the baby.

‘Yes, sir, it is,’ she managed finally.

Linda was aghast at the news. ‘You can’t leave! I knew this would happen. It was his idea, wasn’t it? You’ve only been back five minutes and already he’s controlling you. You could at least stay until the baby is born.’

‘This has nothing to do with Rick. It’s my idea.’ She was annoyed that Linda had jumped to this conclusion, and even more annoyed that she was right.

She hurriedly threw on her coat. ‘Look, I’ve got to go. I don’t want to be late home.’

‘God forbid,’ said Linda sulkily. ‘Go on, I’ll see you tomorrow.’

Tina was determined to be home before Rick and have a meal waiting for him. As it turned out she had had time to make his favourite shepherd’s pie, take a bath and tidy the house. When it got to eight o’clock she began to worry. After the fuss he made yesterday, she had expected him to be on time. At nine o’clock she decided to ring the depot to see if he had been delayed at work. Marie on the switchboard told her that Rick was not working a late shift and had left around five o’clock. By the time the clock crawled round to ten, Tina was frantic. The shepherd’s pie had dried up and her nerves were shredded. She could not bear the thought that something awful had happened to him, not now they were back together again with so much to look forward to. She peered through the brown velvet curtains for the hundredth time and her heart sank once more as she saw the street was empty. She picked up the phone again to listen for the dialling tone, making sure it was still working. She could not sit still and paced the room biting her fingernails, a habit she had managed to kick years ago. She froze as she heard a faint scraping on the front door and then ran to open it. Rick was poised with his key, trying to find the lock.

‘Rick!’ she exclaimed. ‘Where have you been?’ She flung her arms around him, allowing the relief to envelope her.

‘Steady on, I told you I was going for a drink with the lads. Don’t worry, I stuck to orange juice. Mitch’s getting married tomorrow.’

‘Mitch?’

‘Well, Mike then. We call him Mitch because he looks like the Michelin Man.’

‘Never mind about that. I’ve been worried sick here. You never said you were going out.’

‘Didn’t I? I’m sure I did. Anyway, where’s my tea. I’m starving.’

He bent to kiss her on the lips and Tina was grateful her man had returned. If only his breath hadn’t stunk of ale everything would have been perfect.

Chapter 13

Tina was perched on a stool behind the counter in the charity shop when Graham entered. A gust of wind blew in some brown crusty leaves and nearly took the door off its hinges. The late September weather had a distinctly chilly feel to it now and Tina shivered.

‘Morning, Graham. How are you?’

He was calling in for his regular Saturday chat before his shop opened for business. He rubbed his hands together and blew on them. ‘Morning, petal. By ’eck, it’s nippy out there.’

He kissed her on the cheek and regarded her growing bump.

‘Look at you!’

Tina slipped off the stool and sighed.

‘Only three months to go now. I can’t wait.’

‘And how are things at home?’ he asked warily.

‘Graham, please stop worrying. Everything’s fine, I told you.’

‘You look tired.’

‘That’s because I’m six months pregnant, Graham. Imagine how tired I would be if Rick hadn’t said I could give up work. He really is looking after me, you know.’

‘And he still hasn’t had a drink?’

Tina turned and busied herself with making the tea.

‘Tina?’

‘Well, I think he has the odd one, you know down the pub with the lads from the depot, but you can hardly blame him for that. He only goes once a week, on a Friday night and I think that’s fair enough. He only has one or two. He works hard for it. It’s not like before.’

‘Are you trying to convince me or yourself?’

‘You’re as bad as Linda. Give him a break, will you? I trust him and that’s all that matters.’

Graham relented. ‘OK, I’m sorry.’ He noticed the letter Tina was reading on the counter.

‘Who’s that from? It looks old.’

Instinctively, Tina snatched the letter up and held it to her chest. She had told no-one, except Maud Cutler, of Billy’s letter to Chrissie and she wanted to keep it that way. She couldn’t explain why, but it was something she wanted to do by herself.

‘It’s nothing. Nothing to do with you anyway.’

Graham looked hurt. ‘Sorry.’

Tina instantly regretted her sharp tone. Graham was only making conversation.

‘No.
I’m
sorry, Graham. I shouldn’t have been sharp with you. You’re a good friend, really, but I’m fine, honestly. Now let’s just have our tea and talk about something other than me, shall we?’

It was a blustery Friday afternoon late in October when Tina stood outside the terraced house of 180 Gillbent Road. She had Billy’s letter tucked firmly into her pocket. As she nervously tapped on the door, she noticed the blue paintwork was peeling off and the knocker was stiff through lack of use. This house clearly didn’t get many visitors. Tina knocked twice and was about to give up when she heard a noise from inside.

‘Who is it?’ called an elderly voice.

‘Er, my name is Tina Craig. I’m looking for someone who used to live here.’ She crouched down to the letterbox and pushed it open with her finger so she could make herself heard. ‘His name was Billy. Do you know him?’

There was a long silence and Tina was unsure what to do next.

She heard a bolt slide across the door and it opened slightly to reveal the face of a man well into his eighties. His face was heavily lined and although he had a full head of hair it was as white as snow. His nose was purple and his teeth and fingers were heavily stained with nicotine.

Tina straightened up as the door opened.

‘Oh, hello, as I just said, I’m looking for a chap by the name of Billy. I think he used to live here many years ago and I was wondering if you knew him.’

The old man pushed his thick glasses up his nose.

‘Never heard of him.’ His voice was gravelly but determined.

He closed the door in Tina’s face, leaving her standing there wondering what to do next. She pulled her coat tightly round her growing stomach to keep out the chill. She rubbed her aching back and suddenly felt very foolish standing there on the pavement outside the stranger’s home.

She looked around and noticed an old lady inching her way along the street pushing a tartan shopping trolley. She was staring at Tina and tried to quicken her pace, but her old bones were not built for speed so she raised her hand and indicated for Tina to wait. Tina looked behind to check if it was indeed she who was being waved to. She waited for the old lady to join her. By the time she drew level with Tina, she was considerably out of breath.

‘Can I… can I… help you?’ she puffed.

Tina indicated the blue front door. ‘Is this your house?’

‘Indeed it is. I’ve lived here since 1923, fifty years.’

Tina was taken aback. ‘Oh, is that your husband inside?’

The old lady pushed her key in the lock and edged the door open.

‘Henry, I’m home.’ She turned to Tina. ‘Yes, he’s my husband. Now what can I do for you?’

‘It’s OK, your husband has already answered my question. I was looking for someone who I thought used to live here but if you’ve been here for fifty years then I must have the wrong address.’

The old lady’s eyes ran with the cold and she pulled out a handkerchief to wipe them. ‘Who were you looking for?’

‘Well, like I said, your husband has already confirmed that he doesn’t know…’

‘The name?’ insisted the old lady.

Tina looked into the eyes of her determined inquisitor. ‘Well, I only know his first name…Billy.’

The old lady’s papery hands gripped the handle of her shopping trolley harder. The blue veins stood out and the knuckles turned white. Slowly she released one hand and held it out to Tina. ‘Alice Stirling, pleased to meet you.’