The Letter (17 page)

‘Don’t even attempt to defend her, Mabel. There is no excuse for this. You had no right keeping this from me. And what when the bastard is born? Going to keep it in a box at the bottom of the garden like some secret pet?’

Mabel had never seen her husband so apoplectic.

His final words were spat out with venom. ‘She leaves first thing in the morning.’

The next morning, Chrissie stood alone in her bedroom and contemplated it for the last time. The wallpaper with its garish red roses, the livid green paintwork, the dressing table with her hand mirror and hairbrush neatly arranged upon it, all so familiar and comforting. How had her life gone so suddenly and dramatically wrong? She had re-packed her suitcase which her father had so haphazardly filled the night before and was struck by how insignificant it felt when she picked it up. Not much to show for her nineteen years on this planet. She stared at her pathetic reflection in the mirror. She was dressed in her best winter coat, despite the mild weather, her hair neatly curled and arranged under her hat. Her complexion was colourless and pallid and her baby blue eyes were dimmed and filled with utter despair. She sat down at the dressing table and tentatively picked up a pot of her newly-acquired rouge. With trembling fingers, she smeared a little over her cheeks, pinching them as she did so. The resulting glow made her feel slightly better so she reached for her lipstick.

Sod it,
she thought.
If he thinks I’m a whore, I might as well look like one too.
She applied two coats of the pale colour and then applied dark kohl to her eyebrows and underneath her eyes. She shoved the make-up into her handbag as her mother’s voice floated up the stairs.

‘Chrissie, it’s time to go.’

She took a deep breath, picked up her little suitcase again, took one last look around the room and headed down the stairs. At the bottom, her mother and father were waiting.

Mabel issued her instructions again. ‘Write to me as soon as you get to Aunt Kathleen’s, won’t you. I’ll be thinking of you, Chrissie. I’ll visit whenever I can and I’ll be there when the baby is born.’

Dr Skinner scoffed and Mabel cast him a vicious glance. ‘I’m sorry it has to be like this but you understand, don’t you? Your father has a standing in this community and the shame of having a daughter who…’

‘Mother, can we please not go through this again. I’m a terrible person who has done a wicked deed and for that I am paying the price.’ She looked down at the floor and whispered. ‘I honestly thought Billy loved me, but it just shows how wrong you can be.’

Samuel Skinner shifted uncomfortably.

Just then Leo bounded in from the garden and circled round Chrissie’s legs. She bent down and ruffled his ears. He shook himself vigorously.

‘Goodbye, lad. I’ll miss you. You be a good boy.’ She buried her face in his fur and inhaled his delicious smell for the last time.

She stood up and addressed her mother. ‘Promise me you’ll look after him.’

Mabel wiped a tear from her eye. ‘Of course, Chrissie, I promise.’ She embraced her daughter and held her tightly. Chrissie suppressed a sob. She did not want to give her father the satisfaction of seeing her cry. She was a bus, a train and a ferry ride away from her new life and suddenly she was desperate to be on her way. She was claustrophobic in the dark narrow hallway and there didn’t seem to be enough air for them all to breathe. She hugged her mother one last time and then stepped back to address her father. As she looked into his cold, dead eyes, she realised words were futile and with the slightest nod of her head she left the only home she had ever known and stepped outside to begin a new chapter of her life, one with consequences that none of them could have predicted.

Chapter 15

Later that evening, as the rain lashed the windows, Mabel was in the surgery, updating patients’ records. It was a task Chrissie would normally have done with much more efficiency than she could ever hope to match, and she realised she was going to miss her daughter in more ways than she could imagine. The doorbell rang, making her leap and Leo scurried down the hall barking madly. Mabel reluctantly went to answer the door. She was in no mood for visitors and her glum expression, grey pallor and red-rimmed eyes would leave the caller in no doubt of this. She took hold of Leo’s collar and pulled him back as she opened the door. Due to the inclement weather, the caller had pulled his cap down over his eyes and turned the collar of his jacket up round his ears so that Mabel didn’t recognise him at first.

‘Mrs Skinner. Good evening. I’m sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if I could have a word with Chrissie.’ Leo recognised Billy’s voice and yelped excitedly as Mabel released her grip on his collar. Billy bent down and fussed over the dog. ‘Erm...Mrs Skinner? Is she in?’

Without a word, Mabel opened the door wider and gestured for Billy to enter.

‘Thank you,’ he said, removing his cap and running his fingers through his hair.

‘Follow me,’ said Mabel evenly, as she headed for the kitchen.

Once in the bright light Billy registered Mabel’s troubled appearance. ‘Mrs Skinner, are you alright?’ He looked furtively around the kitchen. ‘Where is everybody?’

Mabel sat down heavily at the table and rubbed her eyes. ‘My husband is out on an emergency house call and Chrissie is on her way to Ireland.’

Billy felt his scalp prickle and the breath caught in his throat. ‘Ireland! Whatever for?’

Mabel bent her head and quietly began to weep.

‘Mrs Skinner, please tell me what’s happened. Did she read my letter?’

Mabel wiped her eyes and looked up at Billy, her face creased into a frown. ‘What letter?’

Billy spoke more urgently now, the words tumbling out. ‘Last night, I gave a letter to Dr Skinner to give to Chrissie. I was on my way out to post it, but I bumped into him and he persuaded me to give it to him. Said the postal system wouldn’t work now that the war was on. Tell me, did he give it to her?’

‘I know nothing about a letter, Billy. All I know is you broke my daughter’s heart and now my family has been ripped apart.’ Mabel stood up and banged her fists on the table. ‘You couldn’t keep your hands off her, could you? And then you cast her aside like yesterday’s newspaper. It’s a good job my husband isn’t here because I wouldn’t rate your chances of getting out of here in one piece.’

Billy was confused and tried to placate Mabel. ‘Please, Mrs Skinner, just hear me out.’

She was sobbing openly now as she sat back down and put her head in her folded arms on the table. Billy stood behind her and squeezed her shoulders, but she shrugged him off viciously.

Billy took deep breaths and paced the room. ‘Look, I admit, I didn’t take the news of the baby very well. It was such a shock, you see. I mean Chrissie and I had only, you know, made love, once and that was very quick, I mean spontaneous.’

Mabel looked up, her blotchy face streaked with tears. ‘Please spare me the details.’

Billy continued in earnest. ‘What I mean is our relationship was always more about love, about the way we felt about each other. It was such a shock when she told me about the baby that I felt I had to be alone to take it all in. To my eternal shame, I just left her then and ran off. All I could think of was how we were going to bring a baby into a world where war had just been declared and I would have to go off and fight and leave Chrissie to bring the baby up on her own. I panicked, but it wasn’t because I don’t love her, it was because I do.’

‘Why didn’t you say all this to her, Billy?’

Billy’s face was flushed with anxiety. ‘I tried. I came round that night but Dr Skinner told me she didn’t want to see me.’

Mabel shook her head. ‘Of course she did, but she was cross with you and decided to keep you waiting for a little while as a kind of penance, but then Samuel told us that you had got fed up of waiting and didn’t think she was worth the bother anyway. I must admit I thought that was particularly callous.’

Billy gritted his teeth. ‘All lies. I can’t believe he hates me that much.’

‘He hated you before you got his daughter into trouble, so imagine how he feels now.’

‘He didn’t give her the letter, did he?’ Billy snorted with derision. ‘I knew I was right not to trust him. How could I have been so stupid?’

‘You have been stupid, Billy, nobody could argue with that. What was in the letter anyway?’ asked Mabel.

‘An apology, a declaration and a proposal.’

Mabel’s tone was serious. ‘You want to marry her?’

‘I’ve never been surer of anything in my life. I love her, Mrs Skinner, really love her. I need to see her to put all this right.’

‘It’s too late, Billy. She’s gone to Ireland to stay with my sister. She will have the baby over there, away from the prying eyes and gossips here.’

Billy was frantic. ‘But she should be here with her family. Please, Mrs Skinner, this is my baby too, you know. Aren’t I entitled to have a say in where the baby is born?’ He was practically pleading now. ‘Please let me have her address so I can tell her how I feel. I must put all this right before it’s too late.’

‘I told you Billy, it’s already too late.’

‘No, it’s not, I mean, it needn’t be.’

Mabel looked into Billy’s dark eyes and even with the pain reflected in them Mabel could see why Chrissie had fallen for him. He really was one of the most handsome men Mabel had ever seen, and in other circumstances she would have been proud to have him as her son-in-law. She softened her tone a little.

‘Look, it’s getting late and my husband could return at any moment. If he finds you here, well, do you really need me to tell you what will happen? I will write to Chrissie myself tomorrow and if she wants to, she can contact you.’

Billy hung his head. ‘I’d appreciate that, Mrs Skinner.

‘I will tell her what you have told me, about the letter and everything, but you will just have to be patient. My sister lives out in the sticks with no telephone so the line of communication will be slow.’

Billy breathed a sigh of relief. ‘I understand. Thank you, Mrs Skinner. I promise I will not let Chrissie down again.’

‘You had better not. Goodnight, Billy.’

He retrieved his cap and bade farewell. ‘Goodnight, Mrs Skinner.’

A few hours later, Dr Samuel Skinner returned home. He entered the kitchen, shaking drops of rainwater from his overcoat. ‘Any word from her?’

Mabel looked up from her sewing. ‘If you mean, Chrissie, then, no, I haven’t. She’ll be at the Dublin Guest House by now, I expect. Poor girl, having to make that journey on her own in her condition. It’ll be another long day for her tomorrow too. Heaven knows what time she’ll eventually arrive at Kathleen’s.’

Dr Skinner ignored his wife’s remarks and reached for the kettle. ‘Do you want a cup of tea?’

Mabel placed her sewing on the table in front of her. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you saw Billy last night?’

Dr Skinner spoke without turning round so Mabel was unable to read his expression. ‘Must have slipped my mind. How do you know anyway?’

‘He’s been round to see Chrissie. Says he gave you a letter to give to her. Where is it, Samuel?’

Dr Skinner turned round now to give his wife the full brunt of his fury.

‘He just doesn’t know when to give up, does he? I’ve told him there is no way he will be part of Chrissie’s life. She’s a beautiful, intelligent girl; she could have any man she wanted.’

‘She wants Billy.’

‘She may think she does now, but that’s only because of this blasted baby. Once that’s been adopted she’ll come to her senses.’

‘Adopted? What on earth are you talking about? She’s going to keep the baby.’

‘As long as I have breath in my body I will see to it that those two have nothing more to do with each other and that bastard child will go to a home that deserves it.’

‘I do wish you would stop using that word. Anyway, Chrissie will never agree to it. You can’t force her to give up her baby.’

‘We’ll see.’ Samuel smirked.

Mabel stood up. ‘Over my dead body. This is not happening, Samuel.’

The telephone in the hall rang out suddenly, the shrill tone making them both jump.

‘That might be her now.’

Mabel snatched up the receiver ‘Chrissie? Oh, Mr Henderson, it’s you.’

After a short conversation, Mabel returned to the kitchen. ‘That was Mr Henderson. His wife’s gone into labour, her waters have already broken so I’m going round there now and when I get back, we are going to sort out this mess. I want to see that letter Billy gave to you.’ Mabel pulled on her navy cape and looked around for her bag.

‘You should take a torch with you, Mabel, it’s so dark out there. Would you like me to come with you? I don’t like the idea of you going out alone.’

‘I’ve done it hundreds of time before, Samuel. It never worried you then. In any case, torches aren’t permitted in the blackout.’

Samuel rummaged through the kitchen drawer and found a piece of string and an old brown envelope. ‘Look, take the torch, I’ll tie a piece of brown paper over the light, at least it’s something.’

Mabel grabbed the torch. ‘You are a stubborn old mule, Samuel Skinner and I hate you sometimes.’

It was a foul night and Mabel pulled the hood of her cape over her head and held it tightly at her throat. She battled against the wind and horizontal rain as she tried to avoid the swollen puddles. The torch was next to useless and she found it difficult navigating her way along the pavement. She tripped over a cracked paving slab, slipped off the kerb and fell headlong into the road, the contents of her medical bag clattering to the ground. She didn’t see or hear the car that hit her. She only smelt the burning rubber as the car tried to stop, and then she felt the crushing blow which snapped her like a matchstick.

Chapter 16

Ireland 1939

Kathleen McBride held the telegram to her chest and shook her head in disbelief.

‘Holy Mary, Mother of God,’ she whispered as she crossed herself.

From what she could gather, her pregnant niece was on her way and there was nothing she could do about it. In a fit of pique, she threw the telegram on the fire and pondered the news. It was so typical of her brother-in-law to shirk his responsibility like this. He was the most loathsome man Kathleen had ever met and she had never forgiven him for taking her sister away from her and back to England. Mabel had been completely smitten with him and his Protestant ways and now it seemed they had reared their daughter to be a promiscuous little slut. Since the death of their parents, it had been left to Kathleen to keep the family farm going. She was the eldest of the six children, the only one who cared about the farm, where they had come from and the sacrifices their Mammy and Daddy had made. Their parents had struggled all their lives to keep the farm viable and to provide a loving home for them all, and Kathleen was determined that it should remain in the family and her parents’ values should be upheld. Admittedly, two of her siblings had died at birth, but both her brothers had emigrated to America in search of a better life, an act of utter selfishness that irked her to this day.