The Last Testament: A Memoir (64 page)

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Authors: God,David Javerbaum

Tags: #General, #Humor, #Literary Criticism, #Religion, #American, #Topic

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self-doubts of,
297
–99
self’s answer to,
299
–301
in sitting for Sistine Chapel,
273
,
275
Titanic
sunk by,
293
–94
as trivia buff,
40
Twitter account of,
304
–6
U.S. blessed by,
135
–39
in younger, more innocent times,
297
see also
Allah

Go Daddy,
229

“God Bless America,”
135

“God Bless the USA” (song),
348

Goddard, Robert H., as God’s favorite rocket scientist,
229

Gödel, Kurt, as God’s favorite mathematician,
229

Godlibs,
209
–14

Godplane,
202

godsip,
108
–14

Godspell
(musical),
180

Godthåb,
229

Godzilla,
229
,
339

Golgotha,
201

Goliath, big heart of,
122
–23

Gomer,
61

Gomorrah,
31
,
33
–35,
39

Good Samaritan,
189
–90

Google,
334

gopher wood,
18
–19

Gore, Al,
128

Gosselin, Kate, suicidal uterus of,
114

Goyische Delight,
313

Graceland, razing of,
347

Grammy’s,
156

Grand Canyon,
6

Gravity’s Rainbow
(Pynchon),
231
–32

Greatest Generation,
136

“Greatest Love of All,”
109

Greatest Story Ever Told, The
(film),
163

Great Pyramid of Giza, collapse of,
332

Great Salt Lake, earthquake under,
337

Great Wall of China,
332

Greece,
286

Greek culture,
117

Greenwood, Lee,
348

Gregorian chant,
279

Gregory the Great,
275

Griffith, Melanie, out-of-style drinks of,
109

group sex,
17

Guaranteed Overnight Delivery,
229

Gungunum, King,
22

Gutenberg, Johannes,
186

Guthrie, Woody, surprising identity of,
145

Hadadezer,
123

Hagar,
37
–38

Hagar, Sammy, driving skills of,
345

Hagman, Larry, pasta order of,
108

hail,
75
,
357

Hail Mary,
219

hajj,
244
–45,
353

Halloween, as Apocalypse’s day off,
353

Ham,
18

Hanks, Tommy, poor behavior in restaurants by,
112

Hanoch,
61

Happonen, Janne,
158

Haran,
29

HarperCollins,
183

Harrison, John Scott,
40

Hasidic Jews,
221

Hasselbeck, Elisabeth, prayers of,
113

Hasselhoff, David, alcohol required by,
108

Hauptmann, Bruno,
146

Hayward, Tony,
333

Hazeroth,
89

Head Lice Monthly,
127

Hebron, Mount,
187

Hefner, Hugh, death of erection of,
339

Heigl, Katherine,
335

Helios,
230

helium,
230

Héloïse,
321
–22

Hemingway, Ernest,
255

Henry VIII, King of England,
274

Heston, Charlton,
71

H.G.,
see
Zach (H.G.)

Higgs boson,
62

Hilton, Paris, thought of,
112

Himalayas,
6

Hinduism,
252

Hindus,
247
–50

History of the World, Part I,
271

Hitchcock, Alfred,
232

Hitler, Adolf,
103

Hoffa, Jimmy, as buried in Grant’s Tomb,
146

Hold Me Now!: The Thompson Twins Story,
342

Holocaust,
97
,
101
,
102
–4

Holyfield, Evander,
158

Holy Roman Empire,
267

homosexuality,
31
–32,
249
,
274

in Anglican Church,
333

Hopkins, Neville,
144
,
145

Houston, Whitney, instrument played by,
109

Howe, Gordie, surprise announcement of,
344

Hubbard, L. Ron,
253

Hudson, Jennifer, song in Arby’s sung by,
109

humanity:

creation of,
8
–9,
18
droughts and pestilences endured by,
56
–57
drowning of,
18
as threat to God,
289
,
291
–92

Hundred Year’s War,
269

Hunger Games, The,
337

hunting,
16

Hurricane Katrina, as mistake,
55

“I Am. . .I Said” (song),
300

ibexes,
93

Ibzan,
120

“I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!,” surprising announcement by,
345

immigration,
136

Impressionism,
292

incest,
16

India,
331

Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,
109

indulgences,
274

Industrial Revolution, child labor in,
291

insects,
86

International Gathering of Shamans,
339

International House of Pancakes,
335

International Pedophilia Month,
333

Internet,
304

iPhone
6
,
335

Iran, nuclear bomb tested by,
338

Iraq War,
139

Ireland,
268

Irish potato famine,
56

Iron Bowl,
157

Isaac,
44
,
90

death of,
46
marriage of,
40
proposed sacrifice of,
38
–39,
296

Isaiah,
126

matted beard of,
127

Ishmael,
38

Ishmaelites,
29

Islam,
235
–46

common prayer in,
220
Five Pillars of,
244
PPB in,
221
Protestantism vs.,
279
as similar to Starbucks,
244
two branches of,
235

Israel:

God’s support for,
99
–100
God’s visit to,
101
–2
in peace treaty with Sumerians,
333

Israelites,
29

“It,”
72
,
102
–4

Italy,
331

Jackson, Michael,
111

Jackson, Quinton,
158

Jack the Ripper,
144

Jacob,
40
–41,
67
,
90
,
286

in change to Israel,
45
God’s covenant with,
42
–43,
44
ladder of,
43
as tricky little bastard,
41
,
42
,
43
,
44
–45
in wrestling match with man,
45
,
46

Jainism,
205

Jains,
253

Jair,
120

James,
195
,
196
,
235

James, Lebron, King James Bible endorsed by,
5

Jamestown,
135

Japan, catastrophes in,
55

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