The Girl in My Dreams (18 page)

The look on his face was priceless. His jaw dropped open, and I could see his sheer and utter embarrassment. I didn’t know if he even realized what this meant for me, but for him, it must’ve been terrifying, and not because of Belle.

“Dude,” he said.

“I told you she was real,” I said.

“Okay, so say that she is—”

“She is. What more do you need?” I asked, interrupting him.

“Do you know what this means? This means that other people must be able to do this as well. Maybe whenever you see someone you know in your dream, someone that passed, it’s really them. What if people never leave us?” he asked, smiling.

“I’m not getting into all that right now,” I said as I closed my locker. “All I know is that she’s real, at least in some way, and I can still have her in my life.”

“Where are you going?” he asked in shock as I started to walk away.

“This might be true, but we still have class to get to,” I said with my arms out as I walked backward.

He shook his head at me before I turned around and started to rush to class. I whipped around a corner, admittedly too fast for my own good, before I hit what felt like a brick wall. The only problem was that this wall was fleshy, muscular, and had the head of a certain person on top of it.

I looked up and saw Trent looking down at me, his books clasped in his hands. He was alone and not with his crew.

“Excuse me,” I said.

“How are you doing?” he asked, stunning me.

“I’m sorry?” I asked in confusion.

“You know, with Belle and all. How are you taking it?” he asked.

Was this really happening? Was Trent being, dare I say it,
nice
to me? I must be in another dream. Nope, I definitely wasn’t, because Belle wasn’t here and why would I dream about being in school? I wouldn’t, and that was the dead giveaway.

“I’m doing as well as I can,” I said, not alluding to the discovery I’d just made, even though I wanted to tell everybody.

“That’s good. I’m really sorry, by the way,” he said.

“Aren’t you sad?” I asked.

Trent hadn’t bothered us after Paul went off on him that day in the diner. He started dating someone else, and to our surprise he actually did leave us alone. I wasn’t sure if that was because of Paul, because he didn’t care much for Belle anymore, or a mixture of the two.

“Yeah, I was upset when I heard about it. Not like you, obviously, but it was still hard,” he said.

“What do you mean not like me?” I asked.

“Well, you two had everything together. I know I was really bad when she dumped me, but after I took a step back and saw things, and really saw the two of you together, I realized that she and I would never have that. You two were really like the ‘it’ couple, if you believe in those types of things,” he said.

“Thank you, Trent. That means a lot to me. If you don’t mind me asking, why are you being nice all of the sudden?” I asked.

“Belle’s death really hit home for me. It made me realize that anybody can be gone in an instant, and I don’t want to live my life putting people down and making them feel bad about themselves. I have to get to class, though. Don’t be afraid to say hi sometime. You’re a cool kid,” he said before walking off.

I looked back and watched him before he turned a corner and was out of sight. I shook my head, mostly in disbelief, before walking to my class and getting inside just in the knick of time. Some people really do end up surprising you.

I sat through the school day with so many ideas running through my head. Now that I had actual proof of Belle and her somewhat existence, all I wanted to know was how. Could everyone who was dead do this, or was she special? Was she a ghost, or something else? I knew I wasn’t the only one she visited, since she told me that herself, but did they actually
see
her and know about her, or was I the only one? I had to remember all these questions so that I could ask her later tonight.

During lunch, I pulled out my phone and searched for answers online about dreams and what they meant, as well as how to decipher them. There was an entire site dedicated to communicating with loved ones through your dreams. A site that I’d normally dismiss for being crazy was now fascinating and intriguing. Were the crazy people with the crazy ideas really the rational ones? There was so much to learn!

Martin insisted on giving me a ride home from school. I thought he mostly wanted to talk to me more about it at my house while my mom was at work. We popped some pizza bagels in the oven and sat at the kitchen table as we tried to make sense of it.

“So what do you guys do?” he asked.

“Anything, really. We haven’t had much interaction, but we went to Paris, saw you, hung around in a field, and yeah, that’s about it, I think,” I said.

“Can you do anything?” he asked.

“Yeah, pretty much. Whatever your imagination can dream up,” I said.

“This is so amazing,” he said, smiling from ear to ear.

“I’m still in shock about it. To think that she’s still there. Man, it’s amazing,” I said.

“Have you guys, you know, kissed or anything? Is that even possible?” he asked.

“Yeah, we have. It’s the same as it used to be in real life. I get the same feelings, if not even more amplified,” I said.

“So what does that mean about your status?” he asked.

“Status?” I asked.

“Yeah, you know, dating or whatever. How does that work, if it even does at all?”

“We’re not dating or anything like that, at least not yet. She wants to just enjoy being together, which I’m fine with. Besides, I think she thinks it would be weird to date, considering the situation,” I said.

“Yeah, that’s what I was worried about,” he said.

“Why worried?” I asked.

“Because you don’t want to date and, you know, commit yourself to somebody who isn’t really real. There’s a lot to see out there, and there are a lot of other girls out there,” he said.

“Yeah, but none of them compare to her,” I said.

“And that might be true, but you also shouldn’t compare somebody else to her, because if you do that, you’ll never be happy. You have to see and judge somebody based on who they are and how they are with you. You can’t be on your own deathbed one day regretting that you never had love or physical affection in your life,” he said.

“I do get that, though. With her,” I said.

“I don’t want to bring you down or fight or anything. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t pass up a potential opportunity just because of Belle being in your dreams. You should at least give somebody a chance and get to know them. I’m not saying right now, because you’re in no good capacity to do that, but someday,” he said.

His words were a lot to think about. I wasn’t mad at him, and I didn’t think he overstepped any boundaries. I knew he always had my back. I understood where he was coming from, but I did get all of those things from Belle. I could feel her hugging me, and I could feel us kissing, and I could feel the love that I felt out here while I was in there. It was all there, and nobody else in the real world would ever give me the same types of feelings that I got when I was with her. We could see the world, go on crazy adventures, and do anything and everything we’d ever dreamed of. And the best part was that I’d have unlimited time with her when my time finally came and I passed away. I knew that was a morbid thought, and I definitely didn’t want to die anytime soon, but at least she’d be there—I hoped.

The pizza bagels were soon done, and I pulled the heaps of oozing cheese out of the oven. We each took five, since the bagels weren’t super large, before sitting back down at the table and taking out our books.

“Math has been so hard lately,” I said as I ran my fingers through my hair.

“I think it’s just because you missed that week. I can help you,” he said.

“What’s this all about?” I asked, pointing to something in the homework.

Martin helped me learn more of what I’d missed, which I didn’t think my teacher adequately did, as we ate our pizza bagels. My mom got home two hours later.

She and Martin talked a little bit, mostly about his mom, while I scratched my head and finished the final few problems I had on my homework. I wrote my name at the top and folded it before putting it in my book.

“Done,” I said exuberantly.

“All done with your homework?” my mom asked, smiling.

“Math, at least,” I said.

“What else do you have?” Martin asked.

“Just business stuff, but it’s not too hard. It’ll probably take fifteen minutes,” I said.

“Then get it out of the way now so that you can relax the rest of the night,” my mom said.

“Yeah, Theo, you don’t want to get to bed late,” Martin said, with a knowing look.

I immediately opened my book and started working on my assignment as I pictured Belle. I didn’t want to miss out on time with her. This entire situation would motivate me to not mess around all night or stay up late. I’d be going for as much sleep time as I could possibly get. I could just chock it up to being a teen, I suppose.

The hands on the clock started to turn, and the light outside dimmed. Martin decided to call it a night. My mom got him a few random things to take to his mother, and I walked him out to his car. There were a few small rogue snowflakes falling from the sky, and the windows of his car were covered with frost.

“I hate when this happens,” he said.

“Have a spare scraper? I’ll help,” I said.

He turned on his car and started the heater, and I took the back half of the car with my scraper while he took the front. Tiny shavings of ice flew around everywhere around me like I was a snow cone operator, and the two of us made short work of his car. Soon the entire thing was clean as a whistle.

I looked over and saw lights on at Belle’s house. Not as many cars were outside, though two were in the driveway. I couldn’t see inside, and I really wanted to know how her family was doing.

“Have you talked to them yet?” Martin asked as he also looked over there.

“No, I’ve been too nervous. What would I even say?” I asked.

“You don’t have to
say
anything special, or really anything at all. I think it’s more about being with them and connecting with them on a different level. The three of you did experience a loss, and it might be comforting to support one another,” he said.

“But she was their daughter. I can’t necessarily relate to that,” I said.

“You’re right about that, but you did love her, a lot, and they loved her, a lot. In a way, you three have something pretty strong in common,” he said.

“Maybe you’re right,” I said as I saw a shadow pass by one of the covered windows.

“Of course I’m right,” he said, laughing, as he opened his car door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said.

“See ya,” he said, shutting his door.

I knew my talk and meeting with Paul and Leah was coming sooner than I thought, maybe even this weekend. Even though I sort of dreaded it, Martin did have a point and he made me see that it was necessary. Who knows, maybe they’d have more insight and could help me better understand what happened that night. I could always ask Belle, if she’d even remember, but I didn’t want to fill our short time together with stuff like that. I’d rather it be happy and fun instead.

“He’s such a nice boy,” my mom said as I kicked off my shoes.

“Yeah, he is,” I replied before walking into the kitchen behind her.

“I see you had pizza bagels. Did you want anything else for dinner?” she asked.

“I’ll probably just snack on something. I’m still building myself up,” I said as I grabbed my books and put them into my backpack.

“Just let me know and I’ll make you something. You have an appointment with Dr. Grier tomorrow,” she said.

“Ugh, do I have to go?” I asked.

I gave my mom a pained look. I think she could tell I didn’t want to go, not even in the slightest.

“Maybe I can call you in sick just this
one
time,” she said, making sure I knew it would only happen once.

“Thanks, Mom,” I said, giving her a hug.

I put my backpack by the front door and went upstairs. In my bedroom, I turned on the little Himalayan salt lamp that I had on my desk. It was supposed to ionize the air or something—whatever that meant.

The clock was almost at seven as I sat in my computer chair and tossed a foam stress ball at the wall and caught it. With nothing else to do for the night, all I could do was mess around on the computer and wait until I was tired enough to fall asleep. I knew that the real fun would then begin.

•••

“Aren’t they beautiful?” Belle asked as we lay back in the grass and watched the stars above.

They were more amazing than I ever thought they could be. Planets were huge in the night sky and shooting stars lit up the horizon. I could see entire nebulas and harmonic gaseous drifts that mesmerized me.

“It’s so amazing that this is possible,” I said.

She was in my arms, cuddling in the grass with me, as fireflies buzzed and lit up the surroundings. In all honesty, this felt a little better than it did in real life. Things that were impossible out there were nothing in here.

“Anything is possible when we’re together,” she said.

“I do have a question about all this, though. More specifically about you,” I said.

“Yeah?” she asked.

“What do you do when you’re not with me? Or with anyone else you know,” I said.

“I wander,” she said.

“Where to?” I asked.

“Anywhere. That’s the great thing about wandering—you can end up in the most magical places,” she said.

“Will I ever get to wander with you?” I asked.

“Do you want to see the stars from an even cooler place?” she asked, perking up.

“As long as I’m with you, I’m open to anything,” I said.

“Close your eyes,” she said as she grabbed my hand.

I closed them and instantly felt a change in the air. I opened my eyes, the wind flowing through my hair, to see my feet dangling off a cliff. We must’ve been a thousand feet up, maybe even more.

“Oh my god,” I said as my stomach dropped.

“It’s okay, Theo. You can’t be hurt here,” she said.