The Full Experience (40 page)

“So?” he asked, getting him to spit out whatever the fuck he needed to say.

“Raven filed a report against you,” he said, the corner of his mouth twitching.

“She did what?!” he asked in disbelief. It was an incredulous thing to suggest.

“Yeah, she came into the office and filled out a report about your behavior towards her. Man, I thought you two were tight. Did you have a fight or something?”

“No!” Beck almost yelled.

Kato wasn’t making any sense. Things between him and Raven were perfect. He was happy and so was she, he thought, and she’d even told him that his actions, although annoying because she couldn’t stop her feelings, got her all hot. After her telling him that, he’d made her hot again; naked hot.

“You’re full of shit, Kato. Do you think I would honestly believe Raven would do that?” he laughed.

“I knew you’d say that,” Kato replied and reached into his pocket, pulling out a folded up piece of paper. “Take a look for yourself.”

Beck took the paper from his hand and read it.

It was in type print, and it stated that he’d made sexual advances towards her, pursued her relentlessly, made sexual suggestions to her and touched her inappropriately, even after telling him to stop.

“It’s signed,” Kato added, pointing to the fresh blue ink at the bottom of the page.

Beck saw the signature. Sure enough, it was signed RJ Valiente. He didn’t know Raven had a middle initial, but there it was.

Beck dropped down onto his bed as his chest burned.

Why? Why would she do this to me?
 

“Well I thought you should know that a copy has already gone to the Dean,” Kato said, his expression looking as though he was holding back a smile. “See ya.”

Kato left, closing the door behind him.

Beck didn’t have the strength to argue. His heart was breaking right there in his dorm.

He knew that once the Dean saw the report, he’d be kicked out of college. The mark on his name would follow him everywhere, and his dad would be furious. Not because it would hurt Beck, but it would look bad for business. He had no choice but to call him, because his mom lived too far away to do anything.

“Dad,” he said when he picked up, his voice thick as his eyes filled. “Something’s happened. I think I need to leave.”

“What?!” his dad roared down the phone.

Beck told Jack what Kato had told him, and showed him only moments before.

“How could you let this happen, Beck?” Jack yelled. “What the hell were you thinking? Do you know what this could do to the business; to me?”

There it is.

It was as though his dad hadn’t thought about how it affected Beck at all. It was as if he didn’t give a shit, which didn’t surprise him in the slightest.
 

It made him think about all of the phone calls he’d had from him. They weren’t to see how he was or how college was going. No, it was to ask him to look through paperwork for him and come up with projections for possible mergers. He was indirectly working for his dad before he’d even graduated.

“Look, I’ll send a car for you.”

“I need to graduate…”

“I realize that,” Jack cut in. “I’ll get the Dean to let you continue off campus. You’ll probably get through it faster that way anyway. Fewer distractions.”

“I want to stay with mom for a while,” he whispered, leaning over in an attempt to calm the pain ripping through his body. “I need to clear my head.” The tears began to fall down his face, something he’d never done before over anything. Even his parents’ bitter divorce.

“I think that’s best, too. Keep the focus off you. We don’t want people sticking their noses in and finding about this.”

Of course not, dad. I wouldn’t want my fucking heartbreak to inconvenience you.

“I’ll book a flight now for first thing. Hurry up and pack; a car’s on its way.” Jack ended the call without so much as an ‘oh I’m sorry, son’ or even a goodbye.

Feeling devastated and sick to the stomach, Beck put his phone into his pocket and packed his belongings. Inside his closet, he saw the box where he kept something he’d taken from Raven.
 

Opening the lid, he held the slippers he stole from the party at O-week. Then he picked up the photograph he’d taken and printed out from their very first day. The same day he’d knocked her on her ass.
 

He’d knocked her down, but it was him who had fallen…for her.

Beck fell to his knees, crying silently into his hands. His shoulders shook as he sobbed. His stomach tight as pain coursed through him.

Raven had betrayed him.

She made him think she felt the same and then ripped his heart out.

What made it worse? He felt as though he’d deserved it.

Bonus scene.

Lost in New York.

Beck had lost count of the days he’d spent in his room, too distraught to do anything. Too upset to speak to anybody, and too upset to go out.

It had been two months, and yet he sat in his room alone, wondering why he couldn’t get Raven out of his mind. She’d betrayed him in the worst possible way.

He’d been broken with what she’d done, yet he was broken without her too. The constant battles in his head telling him he shouldn’t still want her after what she did were driving him crazy. Crazy enough to shout at himself to stop.

When he’d managed to speak, he’d called the college to leave a message. After losing his phone, he had to get a new one but never had a backup, so calling the college was the only way to contact them as he and Donnie hated social media and didn’t have accounts.

“Hello, Gable College, how can I help you?” The woman’s voice said on the other end of the phone.

It sounded like Veronica who was Kato’s cousin. Beck swallowed down the lump in his throat as the memories of the night Kato had shown him the report.

“Yes, this is Beck,” he almost whispered. “Beck Traynor. I was hoping you could pass a message along to Raven Valiente. I don’t have her number.”

“Yes; of course, Beck. What would you like me to say?”

“Um… Could you ask her that if it’s all a lie, to call me on this number?”

He knew it was a little cryptic, but Raven would know what he was talking about. If she didn’t, he hoped she would call to clarify. He hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. It could’ve been that he was in denial, but he needed to know for sure.

“Ok, I shall get that message to her. Anything else?”

Donnie still hadn’t returned his call from the day he arrived, so he decided to ask again.

“Yeah, Donnie never returned my call. Did he get the message?”

“I gave it to him myself,” Veronica replied happily.

 
“Could you please tell him I need to speak to him? It’s important.”

“Of course. I’ll get the message to them immediately.”

Beck never received any calls. Even after calling back, neither returned his call.

So everything Kato had said was true about Raven, and also his best friend was ignoring him. If he had to guess that was because his girlfriend, Ava, was Raven’s best friend.

Beck rolled over on his bed and punched his pillow. He needed a distraction. Something to take his mind off her.

But with what he didn’t know.
 

“Beck, can I come in honey?” his mom asked as she knocked on the door.

“Sure,” he replied, sitting up.

The door opened, and his mom walked in, wearing an outfit that could only mean it was a flying visit.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, sitting down next to him. She put her arm around his shoulders and hugged him into her.

Even though it was nice of his mom, it didn’t feel as loving as it should have felt for him.

“Still pretty much devastated,” he muttered, looking at his hands in his lap.

“Well, you need to get up and get out there again,” she smiled. “There are plenty more girls out there who would jump at the chance at being with somebody as handsome as you.”

But they’re not Raven. I only want Raven.

Beck clenched his jaw.

He didn’t want anybody at all but his mind kept telling him that Raven was still the one.

“I don’t want to, mom, can you leave it now. Please?” he asked, tired of hearing the same thing.

“This isn’t good for a man. Staying holed up in his bedroom. You need to… You know.”

He knew what she was talking about.

Sex.

His stomach turned with nausea.

The idea of having sex with somebody other than Raven still felt like cheating. It shouldn’t because she’d betrayed him and he should just bounce back to the way he was.

But he couldn’t. He didn’t want to. He still wanted
her
.

In college, he wouldn’t have fucked all of those girls -not as many as people thought- if he knew Raven had feelings for him. All he’d wanted was her, but he thought he’d never get her. The only girl that he’d
wanted
to kiss, and from the moment they’d met.
 

He never kissed because he never wanted any feelings to be involved. Fucking was just fulfilling the base need for release. Girls approached
him
, willingly, and he never wanted to give anybody the impression that he wanted anything else.
 

He’d only wanted that with Raven, but she never wanted him.

Seeing her look at him like she did, knowing he’d been with other girls; he hadn’t liked it. He didn’t stop though because she didn’t want him. No matter how much he tried, and fucked up, to show her that he did. He was obsessed with her just the same.

Jerking off wasn’t an option so he did what he needed, only when he needed to.

He genuinely thought he never had that chance with Raven until she knocked on his door.

It had been everything he imagined, and more, as he made love to her.

He wanted to kiss her so badly but managed to restrain himself. He didn’t want to freak her out more than she probably was already.

He’d honestly thought things would be different until he came out of the bathroom just as his door was closing.

She’d left. Used him, just like the others, and he’d never felt so cheap in all his life.

That’s why he had the rules. He’d never wanted to make anybody feel that way, because
he
never did, until that moment. Not that he thought he was so amazing that girls fell in love with him; far from it, he knew it was all they wanted. He just didn’t want them to think
he
wanted them for more, when he didn’t.

He wanted somebody he couldn’t have.

“Are you listening, Beck?” his mom asked, bringing him out of his thoughts. “I said you need to go out and meet people.”

“I don’t want to,” he replied. “I don’t need to meet anybody. I just want to stay here and study. That’s my focus.”

Studying only helped so much. When it came to Economics, it tore him apart all over again.

He was never going to recover from Raven breaking his heart.

“Well, ok, honey. I’m just worried about you.” His mom stood, and smoothed down her white trousers. “Well, I’m meeting Ginny for lunch. I’ll see you later.” Then she was gone, and he was alone.

Beck lay back down, staring at the ceiling as a lone tear fell from his eye.

No. He wasn’t going to recover any time soon.

Four months had passed since leaving, and Beck received his graduation certificate. He didn’t want a ceremony, and he didn’t want a big deal being made out of it.

He’d told his mom ‘I graduated with honors’ as if it was an everyday conversation.

She seemed genuinely happy for him, hugging him tight and kissing his cheek.

“I’m so proud of you sweetheart!” she beamed. “Now you can start living your life again.”

Those were similar words she’d used after his dad had cheated on her…with multiple women. She was devastated because for some weird reason, she’d loved Jack so much. It had taken her two years to pick herself up. ‘I can start living my life again,’ she’d said, but he wondered whether it was her or the anti-depressants talking.

Once Beck had called his dad to say he’d gotten his certificate, he said ‘congratulations’ followed quickly by ‘when are you coming back?’

He hadn’t been close to ready, but Jack had called every couple of days for the next two months after that. Beck just wanted to stay for a little longer. He’d been so busy going between working out and studying, that he needed some room to breathe. However, Raven had never left his mind. She was still in there as strong as ever.

He’d given in a week later, and moved to his dad’s house, being thrown into work immediately. He’d been there for three weeks when it had gotten too much.

His dad was overbearing and cold as usual. His personality fitted that of a narcissist, and nothing ever mattered but the business and himself.

It would have been graduation the previous day, and Beck had been thinking about Raven again, and how she would’ve looked in her cap and gown as she walked on the stage to receive her certificate. Along with Donnie, Ava, Kerry, Leila and the others.

He needed to get out and get some air, so getting onto his car, he went for a drive.

Beck had driven for almost an hour when he slowed down towards some traffic lights. He did a double take when he saw a silver car that looked like Donnie’s parked up outside a bar.

He looked at the license plate.

It
was
Donnie’s.

His shattered heart jumped into his throat and before he knew it, he was walking into the bar, seeing a group of them celebrating graduation. A head above the back of a green chair, with shiny black hair.

Raven.

Bonus scene.

Kato’s comeuppance.

“Why am I here? I haven’t done anything!” Kato yelled as he was brought into the Dean’s office. Georgio had gotten there a few minutes earlier, waiting for the other officers to bring him in.
 

The Dean had kindly vacated the room for Kato’s ‘interrogation’.

“Hello, Bruce,” Georgio said as he held his hand out to the chair in front for him to sit.