The Downlow Alpha (The Identity Crises Book 1) (14 page)

            
 
I sat in my room, intermittently crying and getting angry. Crying that Michael didn’t love me as much as I loved him, angry at myself for being such a dork and exposing my feelings. Exposing my vulnerability. I wanted him to love me so badly. Wanted to consume his thoughts and desires, as he did mine. I was worried. Scared I had blown everything with how strongly I had come across.

              In hindsight, I was horrified I had actually had the audacity to mention marriage. God, I was pathetic. He probably was relieved to get away from me.

              But I knew that wasn’t true. The compassion in his eyes as we parted declared it wasn't. The tenderness he showed when his lips brushed mine. I knew he liked me. Liked me a lot. Hell, he had pounded those assholes at the party because of how they had hurt my feelings. No one had ever fought anyone over me, let alone three guys at the same time.

              He was just scared, I realized with shock. He was coming off of a bad breakup, which had hurt him. I kicked myself for how selfish I was being, not giving him time to adjust from his past relationship to building one with me. I kicked myself at my inexperience at relationships, and swore to myself to be more patient. To not be so eager to force things, and let them take their course.

              Because of one thing I was certain. I loved him deeply and wanted him to be with me, to love me as I loved him. And I would do most anything to make that a reality. Even if it meant being patient, and going slow. I decided as I tried to drift off to sleep, I would see if he could come over after class on Monday, and share with him my thoughts. Mom would be at work, and we would have the privacy to talk.

              He had nodded he could come over after I passed him the note in class. The rest of the class was a blur, as my mind played over various scenarios once we got back to my house. They all involved us ending naked.

              We made small talk as he drove us to the house, neither of us mentioning the night before last, other than when he asked me how I was feeling. I was still in a lot of pain, but was relieved now that I didn’t believe they had broken any of my ribs.

              I let us in the house once we got there, and asked him to make himself comfortable in my bedroom as I checked the house just to make sure mom was gone. She was, and I grabbed us each a juice box from the fridge on my way to the bedroom. He was sitting on the bed, and looked nervous when I came in. I found his nervousness appealing.

              I couldn’t contain myself, and as I sat next to him on the bed, jumped right into the heart of it all.

              "Michael, I am so glad you came over. I was so worried I had scared you off the other night. I am so sorry I came on as strong as I did. I have to admit, I don’t have experience in relationships. I find being with you is such a fresh breath of air, and find myself thinking of you all the time. I feel so alive when I am with you."

              "I don’t want whatever this is we have to stop, this I know for sure. And I want you to know how much I respect you, and will take this as slow as you need. I just know we are right for one another, and you take all the time you need as we develop together. I want you to know as strongly as I do, and I promise I will not try to rush you again."

              His face lit up, his smile so beautiful I was captivated.

              "Byron, I am so relieved to hear you say that. I was scared the rest of the weekend that I had pushed you away, and you wouldn’t want to see me anymore. Then, when I didn’t hear from you Sunday, I just knew you didn’t."

              "I am so attracted to you, everything about you. But I am also scared, and I appreciate more than I can share your willingness to take this slow as we get to know one another better. I want to have a relationship where the doubts are absent, one where you know that even in the turbulent times, that the bond is strong enough to withstand anything."

              He was about to say more, but I was so drawn to him I leaned forward and began kissing him before he could get it out. His mouth opened to mine, our passions dancing together as our tongues made love together in the dance of intimacy. My whole body was alive and flitting in energy as I felt his hands gently begin pulling my shirt up. I disengaged my lips from his, and allowed him to take my shirt off.

              We both stood, and got undressed. His eyes filled with worry as he took in my bruises, and his concern melted me. I reached up and caressed his cheek, thankful for his kindness, for his caring. I let him guide me to the bed, where he laid me down gently. My heart was hammering with excitement as he turned towards my feet, and climbed over me, his hardness throbbing with excitement as he lowered it towards my hungering mouth. My breath caught as his tip reached my mouth, as I felt his warm mouth envelop my shaft, my nerves singing in the magic of our touch.

            
 
I couldn’t take my eyes off of his ass as I headed back with the drinks. He was definitely a stud, and I knew within two hours I was going to be pounding that ass. But there was never any doubt. I never left the club empty handed. I felt a hand squeeze my shoulder, and turned and saw it was my best friend Jeremy, giving me the nod of approval.

              Jeremy and I went back a few years now. We had a friendly competition going, to see who could score the most one night stands. One of his best qualities was he handled defeat pretty well, I thought to myself and laughed. Of course, I often threw him the leftovers to help take the sting out of it.

              I smiled at him, and finished making my way back to the table, where the fresh meat was waiting. He saw me approaching, and his face lit up. Ahh, the innocence of youth. So trusting. So naïve. So ripe for the plunder, I thought as I handed him his drink, still trying to remember his name. It was Brian, or Kyle maybe?

              I leaned over and yelled, so he could hear me.

              "You have one of the cutest names. And so easy to remember because it rhymes so easily, "I said. It was one of the tricks I had honed over the years, to get the man to give me a clue so I could remember. Definitely makes it easier to score when you can remember their name.

              He smiled and squeezed my arm suggestively as he answered, making sure I got the signal he was into me, and looking for a good time tonight.

              "Yeah, Kyle mile. I got so tired of hearing that when I was growing up."

              My inner Alpha angel took a victory lap in my head, as I had thought it was maybe Kyle.

              "What say we finish these drinks and head back to your place where we can have more privacy," I said, oozing out my sexual energy through my brown eyes as I spoke. I have practiced that look to perfection in the mirror, and most gay men find it irresistible, if they don’t know me. Many that do know me do as well. Hell, Jeremy was good for a few blowjobs a week.

              The kid nodded as excitement filled his face, and I could feel my cock already starting to tingle with anticipatory excitement. It was going to be stretching that tight muscular ass soon indeed.

              I drank the rest of my drink in one quick pull, hopeful he would take the hint and chug his down too. I could tell he was already tipsy, and the sudden rush would help relax him for the things I was going to do to him. He didn’t disappoint me, and chugged his as well, coughing immediately afterwards as the fire filled his throat. I have just the thing for that throat, I thought and laughed, on top of the world. I got close to him, to whisper in his ear, grabbing his thick bulge as I did so, giving him some light squeezes as I talked,

              "Let's get out of here."

              He nodded, his eyes filled with desire. The desire that pulses so strongly in the eyes of the young and innocent, full of energy and youthfulness. I grabbed his hand and started leading him out of the club, squeezing our way through the multitude of men dancing together, many kissing while they danced.

              God, I loved this club, I thought. It was the best meat market in the world. Every week there were more newbies who had just come out, or just turned of age showing up, desperate to be part of the scene. And Jeremy and I were here to make sure every good looking one of them got the proper welcome they deserved.

              Jeremy's eyes locked on mine as I passed him, and he winked his approval. I could see from the gleam in his eyes he wanted seconds with the young stud I was leading out, But who wouldn’t. The kid had a rock hard body, his shirt accentuating his tight, hard muscles eloquently. His ass was even tighter, his pants really snug to accentuate his package. And what a package he had. It wasn’t fake, like some of the guys who come here pretend. That was no sock I had been squeezing. I learned to spot a fake a mile away, after more than a few nights of disappointment, His light blonde hair, framing those cute green eyes of his,

              The fresh air of the night greeted us, and was charged with power as I had him lead us to his car.

              "Give me a ride to my car, and I will follow you back to your place, I would just take you to mine, but it is being renovated," I said, saying that line for the hundredth time. He smiled and nodded enthusiastically as I followed him to his car,

              His car was a Toyota Corolla, looked to be maybe a 2008 or so. As soon as he got the passenger door unlocked and turned, I descended on him like a vulture, my lips seeking his as I pressed his hard body against the side of his car. His body was trembling with desire as his lips melted into mine, his strong hands grabbing me, and pulling me closer.

              I could feel the fires burning inside, my cock pulsing in its hardness, struggling and protesting against the restraints of my pants as after a moment of deep, sensual kissing I broke off. I grabbed his cock as I looked around, making sure no one was coming. Satisfied, I slid to my knees, needing a taste, a look, before we got out of here,

              Something about the fear of discovery added such a nice edge to the power of the moment, making every nerve sing, proclaiming its life to the world. I quickly had his belt undone, and without unbuttoning them, yanked them and his underwear down to mid-thigh. I loved these kids today wore their pants so loose.

              His cock was large, throbbing in the excitement of the moment, as I felt the thrill rush through me. His cock had a bubble of excitement on it, and I knew I was going to make the kid hooked on me. Hooked enough to let me own his ass for hours tonight. My mouth descended quickly on his throbbing desire, and with one deft motion slid quickly down him, swishing my mouths wetness on his shaft as I slid.

              His fingers grabbed the back of my head as my chin pushed into his tight balls. I started nuzzling his balls with my chin, as I gripped the back of them with my hand, squeezing them rhythmically. I was swishing my mouth juices on him, as I sucked on his pole expertly, all eight inches or so of his cock pushing deep into my throat.

              The musky smell of the light sheen of sweat on his balls from the warmth of the club wafted to my nose, and I closed my eyes as I started working his shaft furiously, delighting in the feel of his smooth cock skin as I rubbed it on my tongue and cheeks in my mouth. I was overcome in the moment, and could feel my cock leaking in protest, trying to demand freedom to use him.

              His breathing was quickening, his balls tightening in my hand, and his moans were rewarding my ears. I knew he was about to explode, and readied myself for his sweet milky man juice. His hands gripped my head as the first spurt shot off in my throat. I sucked even harder, draining his thick manhood as he released his cock seed over and over.

              The vibrations of the alarm on my phone woke me. I had it set to vibrate, so as not to wake…damn, I forgot his name again. Oh well, it didn’t matter. He wasn’t as good as the promise his hot body had suggested was possible.

              I scooped up my clothes, and tiptoed into the living room, so I wouldn’t wake him dressing. I was dressed in record time, and quietly let myself out the door. My hand brushed a paper in my pocket as I dug my keys out, and saw it was his number he had given me last night, excitement bubbling out of him that we would be a regular thing.

              Not a chance, I thought as I closed the door behind me. I opened the glove box, throwing it in with the other numbers I wasn’t planning on calling again. They were Jeremys to have as he wanted now. The kid was really lame in the sack. I like taking my sex rough, and the kid was a sissy. Begging me to be gentle as I fucked his ass. As if.

              Couldn’t even give a decent blowjob. He was an idiot. Thinking anyone would want to see him again when he didn’t even put in the effort to perfect his moves.

              My mind thought back briefly to when I was his age, how I had been the same way. But Brian had changed all that, I thought bitterly. Brian had discarded me after I had fallen in love with him. The pain coursed in me briefly, before my mind kicked in with protective rationalization. Brian had taught me how the world really is. Falling in love is nothing but trouble. Focus on the pleasure, take what you want. Stick to those rules and life was a ball, you were untouchable. Unable to be hurt. The briefest sting of my loss was still reverberating in my chest, making it feel tight, and I turned up the radio to help drown out my thoughts.