The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (916 page)

Within a fortnight!

ALBANY

What's the matter, sir?

What's the matter, sir?

KING LEAR

I'll tell thee:

To GONERIL

Life and death! I am ashamed

That thou hast power to shake my manhood thus;

That these hot tears, which break from me perforce,

Should make thee worth them. Blasts and fogs upon thee!

The untented woundings of a father's curse

Pierce every sense about thee! Old fond eyes,

Beweep this cause again, I'll pluck ye out,

And cast you, with the waters that you lose,

To temper clay. Yea, it is come to this?

Let is be so: yet have I left a daughter,

Who, I am sure, is kind and comfortable:

When she shall hear this of thee, with her nails

She'll flay thy wolvish visage. Thou shalt find

That I'll resume the shape which thou dost think

I have cast off for ever: thou shalt,

I warrant thee.

Exeunt KING LEAR, KENT, and Attendants

I'll tell you:

By life and death! I'm ashamed

that you can disturb me so much;

if only you were worth these hot tears

which I can't control. Curses and confusion to you!

GONERIL

Do you mark that, my lord?

Did you see that, my lord?

ALBANY

I cannot be so partial, Goneril,

To the great love I bear you,--

I cannot be so biased, Goneril,

towards the great love I have for you–

GONERIL

Pray you, content. What, Oswald, ho!

To the Fool

You, sir, more knave than fool, after your master.

Please, that's enough. Oswald, come here!

You, sir, who is more of a knave than a fool, follow your master.

Fool

Nuncle Lear, nuncle Lear, tarry and take the fool

with thee.

A fox, when one has caught her,

And such a daughter,

Should sure to the slaughter,

If my cap would buy a halter:

So the fool follows after.

Exit

Nuncle Lear, nuncle Lear, wait and take the fool

with you.

A trapped fox, when you've caught her,

and a daughter like this,

should be sent to the slaughter,

if my cap could pay for the rope:

and so the fool follows on.

GONERIL

This man hath had good counsel:--a hundred knights!

'Tis politic and safe to let him keep

At point a hundred knights: yes, that, on every dream,

Each buzz, each fancy, each complaint, dislike,

He may enguard his dotage with their powers,

And hold our lives in mercy. Oswald, I say!

This man has had good advice: a hundred knights!

Oh yes, it's a sensible and safe to let him keep

a hundred armed knights: yes, so that with every dream,

every rumour, every imagining, every complaint or dislike

he can back up his senility with their power,

and hold our lives in his hand. Oswald, here!

ALBANY

Well, you may fear too far.

Well, you may be worrying too much.

GONERIL

Safer than trust too far:

Let me still take away the harms I fear,

Not fear still to be taken: I know his heart.

What he hath utter'd I have writ my sister

If she sustain him and his hundred knights

When I have show'd the unfitness,--

Re-enter OSWALD

How now, Oswald!

What, have you writ that letter to my sister?

That's better than not worrying enough
:

 
let me always remove the danger I fear

rather than live in fear of danger: I know what he's like.

I have written to tell my sister what he said;

if she supports him and his hundred knights

after I have shown her why she shouldn't–

Hello there, Oswald!

Now, have you written that letter to my sister?

OSWALD

Yes, madam.

Yes, madam.

GONERIL

Take you some company, and away to horse:

Inform her full of my particular fear;

And thereto add such reasons of your own

As may compact it more. Get you gone;

And hasten your return.

Take some men, and get on your horses:

give her all the details about my personal fears;

and add to it any reasons of your own

which strengthen the case. Get going,

and hurry back.

Exit OSWALD

No, no, my lord,

This milky gentleness and course of yours

Though I condemn not, yet, under pardon,

You are much more attask'd for want of wisdom

Than praised for harmful mildness.

No, no, my lord,

this soft gentleness and action of yours,

although I don't condemn you for it, if you'll excuse me,

you're more to be criticised for a lack of wisdom

than praised for a mildness which will do harm.

ALBANY

How far your eyes may pierce I can not tell:

Striving to better, oft we mar what's well.

 I can't tell how well you've predicted the future:

trying to improve things, we often damage the good things we have.

GONERIL

Nay, then--

 No, but–

ALBANY

Well, well; the event.

Exeunt

 All right, all right; we'll wait and see what happens.

Enter KING LEAR, KENT, and Fool

KING LEAR

Go you before to Gloucester with these letters.

Acquaint my daughter no further with any thing you

know than comes from her demand out of the letter.

If your diligence be not speedy, I shall be there afore you.

You go ahead with this letter to Gloucester.

Don't tell my daughter about anything, except for

answering any questions she has about the letter.

If you don't hurry, I will be there before you.

KENT

I will not sleep, my lord, till I have delivered

your letter.

Exit

I won't sleep, my lord, until I have delivered

your letter.

Fool

If a man's brains were in's heels, were't not in

danger of kibes?

If a man had brains in his heels, wouldn't he be

in danger of chilblains?

KING LEAR

Ay, boy.

Yes, boy.

Fool

Then, I prithee, be merry; thy wit shall ne'er go

slip-shod.

Then, I beg you, be happy; you haven't any brains

to protect.

KING LEAR

Ha, ha, ha!

Hah, hah, hah!

Fool

Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly;

for though she's as like this as a crab's like an

apple, yet I can tell what I can tell.

We shall see if your other daughter treats you well;

although her and Goneril are two peas in a pod,

I can see what I can see.

KING LEAR

Why, what canst thou tell, my boy?

What can you see, my boy?

Fool

She will taste as like this as a crab does to a

crab. Thou canst tell why one's nose stands i'

the middle on's face?

She will be just as bitter as this one.

Do you know why your nose is in

the middle of your face?

KING LEAR

No.

No.

Fool

Why, to keep one's eyes of either side's nose; that

what a man cannot smell out, he may spy into.

Why, to keep your eyes apart; so if you can't

smell mischief, you can see it.

KING LEAR

I did her wrong--

I did her wrong–

Fool

Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell?

Do you know how an oyster makes his shell?

KING LEAR

No.

No.

Fool

Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house.

Me neither; but I know why snail has a house.

KING LEAR

Why?

Why?

Fool

Why, to put his head in; not to give it away to his

daughters, and leave his horns without a case.

Why, to keep his head in; not to give it away to his

daughters, and leave himself unprotected.

KING LEAR

I will forget my nature. So kind a father! Be my

horses ready?

I will go against my nature and stop being a kind father!

Are my horses ready?

Fool

Thy asses are gone about 'em. The reason why the

seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty reason.

Your asses are seeing to them. There's a good reason

why the seven stars are only seven.

KING LEAR

Because they are not eight?

Because there are not eight of them?

Fool

Yes, indeed: thou wouldst make a good fool.

Yes indeed: you would make a good fool.

KING LEAR

To take 't again perforce! Monster ingratitude!

Perhaps I should take my kingdom back by force! The terrible ingratitude!

Fool

If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I'ld have thee beaten

for being old before thy time.

Nuncle, if you were my fool I would have you beaten

for being old before your time.