The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (830 page)

So they must,

Or do your honour injury.

You must,

or it'll be the worse for you.

IACHIMO.

The chimney

Is south the chamber, and the chimneypiece

Chaste Dian bathing. Never saw I figures

So likely to report themselves. The cutter

Was as another nature, dumb; outwent her,

Motion and breath left out.

The chimney

is to the south of the room, and the chimneypiece

is chaste Diana bathing. I never saw statues

that seemed so likely to speak. The sculptor

was like another nature, though silent; he outstripped her,

if you don't count movement and breathing.

POSTHUMUS.

This is a thing

Which you might from relation likewise reap,

Being, as it is, much spoke of.

This is something

which you might also have been told,

seeing as it's much spoken of.

IACHIMO.

The roof o' th' chamber

With golden cherubins is fretted; her andirons-

I had forgot them- were two winking Cupids

Of silver, each on one foot standing, nicely

Depending on their brands.

The roof of the room

is covered with golden cherubim; her fire irons–

I had forgotten them–were two winking silver cupids,

each one standing on one foot,

leaning on their torches.

POSTHUMUS.

This is her honour!

Let it be granted you have seen all this, and praise

Be given to your remembrance; the description

Of what is in her chamber nothing saves

The wager you have laid.

Oh well, that proves it!

 Let it be granted that you’ve seen all this, and

we must compliment you on your memory; the description

of what is in her bedroom in no way wins

the bet for you.

IACHIMO.

Then, if you can, [Shows the bracelet]

Be pale. I beg but leave to air this jewel. See!

And now 'tis up again. It must be married

To that your diamond; I'll keep them.

Alright, if you remain indifferent,

I'll ask your permission to show you this jewel. See!

There is your proof. It should be joined

with your diamond; I'll keep them.

POSTHUMUS.

Jove!

Once more let me behold it. Is it that

Which I left with her?

By Jove!

Let me see it again. Is that the thing

that I left with her?

IACHIMO.

Sir- I thank her- that.

She stripp'd it from her arm; I see her yet;

Her pretty action did outsell her gift,

And yet enrich'd it too. She gave it me, and said

She prized it once.

Sir–I thank her for it–it is.

She took this off her arm; I can see her now;

her graceful movements were better than her gift,

but also made it richer. She gave it to me, and said

she once treasured it.

POSTHUMUS.

May be she pluck'd it off

To send it me.

Maybe she took it off

to send it to me.

IACHIMO.

She writes so to you, doth she?

That's what she writes to you, is it?

POSTHUMUS.

O, no, no, no! 'tis true. Here, take this too;

[Gives the ring]

It is a basilisk unto mine eye,

Kills me to look on't. Let there be no honour

Where there is beauty; truth where semblance; love

Where there's another man. The vows of women

Of no more bondage be to where they are made

Than they are to their virtues, which is nothing.

O, above measure false!

Oh no, no, no! It's true. Here take this too;

[gives the ring]

it's like a basilisk to my eyes,

it kills me to look at it. Let there be no honour

where there is beauty; no truth where there is appearance;

no love where there's another man. The vows of women

are no more binding to them

then they are bound to their virtues: which is not at all.

Oh, false beyond measure!

PHILARIO.

Have patience, sir,

And take your ring again; 'tis not yet won.

It may be probable she lost it, or

Who knows if one her women, being corrupted

Hath stol'n it from her?

Calm yourself, Sir,

and take the ring back; it hasn't been won yet.

Maybe she lost it, or

who knows if one of her women, bribed,

stole it from her?

POSTHUMUS.

Very true;

And so I hope he came by't. Back my ring.

Render to me some corporal sign about her,

More evident than this; for this was stol'n.

Very true;

I hope that's how he came by it. Give me back my ring.

Tell me some physical evidence about her,

stronger than this; this was stolen.

IACHIMO.

By Jupiter, I had it from her arm!

By Jupiter, I had it off her arm!

POSTHUMUS.

Hark you, he swears; by Jupiter he swears.

'Tis true- nay, keep the ring, 'tis true. I am sure

She would not lose it. Her attendants are

All sworn and honourable- they induced to steal it!

And by a stranger! No, he hath enjoy'd her.

The cognisance of her incontinence

Is this: she hath bought the name of whore thus dearly.

There, take thy hire; and all the fiends of hell

Divide themselves between you!

Listen, he swears; he swears by Jupiter.

It's true–no, keep the ring, it's true. I'm sure

she would not lose it. Her attendants are

all sworn to loyalty and honourable- they were bribed to steal it!

And by a stranger! No, he has had her.

this is proof of her infidelity:

she has paid dearly to get herself the name of whore.

There, take your winnings; and may the devils of hell

divide themselves between you and her!

PHILARIO.

Sir, be patient;

This is not strong enough to be believed

Of one persuaded well of.

Sir, be patient;

this is not strong enough evidence

against someone who you thought so well of.

POSTHUMUS.

Never talk on't;

She hath been colted by him.

Don't talk about it;

she has been knocked up by him.

IACHIMO.

If you seek

For further satisfying, under her breast-

Worthy the pressing- lies a mole, right proud

Of that most delicate lodging. By my life,

I kiss'd it; and it gave me present hunger

To feed again, though full. You do remember

This stain upon her?

If you would like

further proof, under her breast–

well worth squeezing–there is a mole, very happy

in its delightful situation. I swear,

I kissed it; and it gave me the desire

to feed again, although I had had my fill. Do you remember

this mark on her?

POSTHUMUS.

Ay, and it doth confirm

Another stain, as big as hell can hold,

Were there no more but it.

Yes, and it proves the existence

of another black mark, that would fill the whole of hell,

even if it was the only thing there.

IACHIMO.

Will you hear more?

Do you want to hear more?

POSTHUMUS.

Spare your arithmetic; never count the turns.

Once, and a million!

Don't bother adding it up; don't count the turns.

Once is as bad as a million.

IACHIMO.

I'll be sworn-

I shall swear–

POSTHUMUS.

No swearing.

If you will swear you have not done't, you lie;

And I will kill thee if thou dost deny

Thou'st made me cuckold.

Don't swear.

If you're going to say you haven't done it, you're lying;

and I will kill you if you deny

that you have cheated with my wife.

IACHIMO.

I'll deny nothing.

I won't deny anything.

POSTHUMUS.

O that I had her here to tear her limb-meal!

I will go there and do't, i' th' court, before

Her father. I'll do something-

Exit

I wish I had here to tear her limb from limb!

I will go there and do it, in the court, in front of

her father. I'll do something–

PHILARIO.

Quite besides

The government of patience! You have won.

Let's follow him and pervert the present wrath

He hath against himself.

Well beyond

the reach of calm! You have won.

Let's follow him and make sure he doesn't

do himself any harm in his anger.

IACHIMO.

With all my heart.

Exeunt

Certainly.

Enter POSTHUMUS

POSTHUMUS.

Is there no way for men to be, but women

Must be half-workers? We are all bastards,

And that most venerable man which I

Did call my father was I know not where

When I was stamp'd. Some coiner with his tools

Made me a counterfeit; yet my mother seem'd

The Dian of that time. So doth my wife

The nonpareil of this. O, vengeance, vengeance!

Me of my lawful pleasure she restrain'd,

And pray'd me oft forbearance; did it with

A pudency so rosy, the sweet view on't

Might well have warm'd old Saturn; that I thought her

As chaste as unsunn'd snow. O, all the devils!