The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (573 page)

Earlier than that, sir, if that's what I am now.

LYSIMACHUS

Why, the house you dwell in proclaims you to be a

creature of sale.

Why, the house you live in advertises you as a

creature who can be bought.

MARINA

Do you know this house to be a place of such resort,

and will come into 't? I hear say you are of

honourable parts, and are the governor of this place.

So you know that this house is that sort of place,

and you want to come inside? I've heard tell that you are

an honourable man, and are the governor of this place.

LYSIMACHUS

Why, hath your principal made known unto you who I am?

Why, has your boss told you who I am?

MARINA

Who is my principal?

Who's my boss?

LYSIMACHUS

Why, your herb-woman; she that sets seeds and roots

of shame and iniquity. O, you have heard something

of my power, and so stand aloof for more serious

wooing. But I protest to thee, pretty one, my

authority shall not see thee, or else look friendly

upon thee. Come, bring me to some private place:

come, come.

Why, that gardener; the one that puts down the seeds and roots

of shame and disgrace. I see, you have heard about

my power, and so you're being standoffish, hoping for

a better proposal. But I must tell you, pretty one, I can't

see you in an official capacity, or otherwise be friendly

to you. Come on, take me somewhere private:

come on, come on.

MARINA

If you were born to honour, show it now;

If put upon you, make the judgment good

That thought you worthy of it.

If you have any natural honour, show it now;

if you have any honour that's been given to you,

justify the faith of those who thought you were worth it.

LYSIMACHUS

How's this? how's this? Some more; be sage.

What's this? What's this? Say some more; be wise.

MARINA

For me,

That am a maid, though most ungentle fortune

Have placed me in this sty, where, since I came,

Diseases have been sold dearer than physic,

O, that the gods

Would set me free from this unhallow'd place,

Though they did change me to the meanest bird

That flies i' the purer air!

I'll say for me,

that I am a virgin, although the cruellest fate

has put me in this pigsty, where, since I arrived,

people get diseases, paying a higher price than they would for medicine,

oh, I wish the gods

would set me free from this unholy place,

even if it meant changing into the most insignificant bird

that flies through the purer air!

LYSIMACHUS

I did not think

Thou couldst have spoke so well; ne'er dream'd thou couldst.

Had I brought hither a corrupted mind,

Thy speech had alter'd it. Hold, here's gold for thee:

Persever in that clear way thou goest,

And the gods strengthen thee!

I didn't think

that you would be able to speak so well; I never dreamt that you could.

If I came here with a perverted mind,

your speech has changed it. Wait, here's money for you:

keep on the straight path you're travelling,

and may the gods give you strength!

MARINA

The good gods preserve you!

May be good gods preserve you!

LYSIMACHUS

For me, be you thoughten

That I came with no ill intent; for to me

The very doors and windows savour vilely.

Fare thee well. Thou art a piece of virtue, and

I doubt not but thy training hath been noble.

Hold, here's more gold for thee.

A curse upon him, die he like a thief,

That robs thee of thy goodness! If thou dost

Hear from me, it shall be for thy good.

Re-enter BOULT

For me, be assured

that I came with no bad intent; for me

the actual doors and windows revolt me.

Goodbye. You are an exemplar of virtue, and

I cannot doubt that you have been well brought up.

Wait, here is more gold for you.

A curse on the one who robs you of your goodness,

may he die like a thief! If you

hear from me, it will be for your benefit.

BOULT

I beseech your honour, one piece for me.

I beg your honour, a coin for me.

LYSIMACHUS

Avaunt, thou damned door-keeper!

Your house, but for this virgin that doth prop it,

Would sink and overwhelm you. Away!

Exit

Get out, you dammed doorkeeper!

Your house would sink into the mud and drown you,

if it wasn't for this virgin holding it up. Get lost!

BOULT

How's this? We must take another course with you.

If your peevish chastity, which is not worth a

breakfast in the cheapest country under the cope,

shall undo a whole household, let me be gelded like

a spaniel. Come your ways.

What's this? We must do something else with you.

If your sullen chastity, which is worth less than the

price of a breakfast in the cheapest country in the world,

is going to be allowed to bring down the whole household,

let me be castrated like a spaniel. Come along.

MARINA

Whither would you have me?

What are you going to do to me?

BOULT

I must have your maidenhead taken off, or the common

hangman shall execute it. Come your ways. We'll

have no more gentlemen driven away. Come your ways, I say.

Re-enter Bawd

I'm going to have your virginity, or the public

hangman can have it. Come along. We'll

have no more gentlemen driven away. Come along, I say.

Bawd

How now! what's the matter?

What's all this! What's the matter?

BOULT

Worse and worse, mistress; she has here spoken holy

words to the Lord Lysimachus.

It gets worse and worse, mistress; she's been speaking holy

words to the Lord Lysimachus.

Bawd

O abominable!

That's terrible!

BOULT

She makes our profession as it were to stink afore

the face of the gods.

She makes our profession look as if it stinks

to high heaven.

Bawd

Marry, hang her up for ever!

Well, hang her up forever!

BOULT

The nobleman would have dealt with her like a

nobleman, and she sent him away as cold as a

snowball; saying his prayers too.

The nobleman would have treated her like a

nobleman does, and she sent him away as cold as a

snowball; saying his prayers as well.

Bawd

Boult, take her away; use her at thy pleasure:

crack the glass of her virginity, and make the rest malleable.

Boult, take her away; have your way with her:

tear through her virginity, and make her obedient.

BOULT

An if she were a thornier piece of ground than she

is, she shall be ploughed.

I shall plough her, even if she was a rougher

field than she is.

MARINA

Hark, hark, you gods!

Listen, listen, you gods!

Bawd

She conjures: away with her! Would she had never

come within my doors! Marry, hang you! She's born

to undo us. Will you not go the way of women-kind?

Marry, come up, my dish of chastity with rosemary and bays!

Exit

She summons: take her away! I wish she had never

darkened my doors! Well, hang you! She was born

to be our downfall. Why can't you do what other women do?

Away you go, you prissy piece of virtue!

BOULT

Come, mistress; come your ways with me.

Come, mistress; come along with me.

MARINA

Whither wilt thou have me?

What are you going to do with me?

BOULT

To take from you the jewel you hold so dear.

To take away the jewel that you find so precious.

MARINA

Prithee, tell me one thing first.

Please, tell me one thing first.

BOULT

Come now, your one thing.

Come on then, your one thing.

MARINA

What canst thou wish thine enemy to be?

What would you like the devil to be?

BOULT

Why, I could wish him to be my master, or rather, my mistress.

Well, I would like him to be my master, or rather, my mistress.

MARINA

Neither of these are so bad as thou art,

Since they do better thee in their command.

Thou hold'st a place, for which the pained'st fiend

Of hell would not in reputation change:

Thou art the damned doorkeeper to every

Coistrel that comes inquiring for his Tib;

To the choleric fisting of every rogue

Thy ear is liable; thy food is such

As hath been belch'd on by infected lungs.

Neither of those are so bad as you are,

since at least they are in charge.

You have a position which the most tortured daemon

of hell would not trade you for;

you are the dammed door opener for every

scoundrel that comes looking for a strumpet;

any scumbag who fancies it can box

your ears; your food is stuff

which has been belched on with infected lungs.

BOULT

What would you have me do? go to the wars, would

you? where a man may serve seven years for the loss

of a leg, and have not money enough in the end to

buy him a wooden one?

What you want me to do? Do you think I should

go to the wars? Where a man can serve seven years,

lose his leg, and not have enough money at the end of it all

to buy a wooden one?

MARINA

Do any thing but this thou doest. Empty

Old receptacles, or common shores, of filth;

Serve by indenture to the common hangman:

Any of these ways are yet better than this;

For what thou professest, a baboon, could he speak,