The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (526 page)

comedy. No more words: away! go, away!

comedy. I have nothing else to say, now go, get ready!

Exeunt

Athens. The palace of THESEUS.

Enter THESEUS, HIPPOLYTA, PHILOSTRATE, Lords and Attendants

HIPPOLYTA

'Tis strange my Theseus, that these

It’s a strange story, Theseus, that these

lovers speak of.

lovers tell.

THESEUS

More strange than true: I never may believe

More strange than it is true, I think. I will never believe

These antique fables, nor these fairy toys.

These old tales or fairy stories.

Lovers and madmen have such seething brains,

Both lovers and madmen are able to

Such shaping fantasies, that apprehend

Hallucinate and see such things, things

More than cool reason ever comprehends.

That cool, collected reason would never see.

The lunatic, the lover and the poet

The crazy person, lover, and poet

Are of imagination all compact:

Share heightened imaginations:

One sees more devils than vast hell can hold,

One sees demons everywhere, more than are even in hell,

That is, the madman: the lover, all as frantic,

And that is the crazy person. The lover, just as crazy,

Sees Helen's beauty in a brow of Egypt:

Sees unimaginable beauty, like that of ancient Helen, in an Egyptian’s face.

The poet's eye, in fine frenzy rolling,

And the poet, in a frenzy,

Doth glance from heaven to earth, from earth to heaven;

Looks from heaven to earth, and from earth to heaven,

And as imagination bodies forth

And just as imagination creates in one’s mind

The forms of things unknown, the poet's pen

The form of things that do not exist, the poet by writing

Turns them to shapes and gives to airy nothing

Describes their shapes and gives a name

A local habitation and a name.

And a place things that are really nothing.

Such tricks hath strong imagination,

These people have such strong imaginations

That if it would but apprehend some joy,

That if they think of some joy they want,

It comprehends some bringer of that joy;

They then believe that that joy has arrived.

Or in the night, imagining some fear,

Or, at nighttime, they might imagine something scary

How easy is a bush supposed a bear!

And believe that the bush is a bear!

HIPPOLYTA

But all the story of the night told over,

But the story these lovers are telling of the night,

And all their minds transfigured so together,

And how they all say the same things,

More witnesseth than fancy's images

Seems to point to more than just imagined images

And grows to something of great constancy;

And becomes something very consistent –

But, howsoever, strange and admirable.

But whatever the truth, it is a story both strange and interesting.

THESEUS

Here come the lovers, full of joy and mirth.

Here come the lovers, happy and joyful.

Enter LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HERMIA, and HELENA

Joy, gentle friends! joy and fresh days of love

Joy to you, my friends! I wish joy and days full of love

Accompany your hearts!

for your hearts!

LYSANDER

More than to us

We wish you more joy, which

Wait in your royal walks, your board, your bed!

Will be with you in your royal walks, your dinner table, and your bed!

THESEUS

Come now; what masques, what dances shall we have,

Now what dances and performances will we have

To wear away this long age of three hours

In order to fill the three hours

Between our after-supper and bed-time?

Between our dinner and our bedtime?

Where is our usual manager of mirth?

Where is the one who manages the entertainment?

What revels are in hand? Is there no play,

What fun is in store for us? Isn’t there a play

To ease the anguish of a torturing hour?

To fill this torturous boredom?

Call Philostrate.

Call Philostrate to me.

PHILOSTRATE

Here, mighty Theseus.

I am here, mighty Theseus.

THESEUS

Say, what abridgement have you for this evening?

Tell me, what entertainment did you plan for the evening?

What masque? what music? How shall we beguile

What play or music? How will we pass

The lazy time, if not with some delight?

This lazy time if now with something fun?

PHILOSTRATE

There is a brief how many sports are ripe:

Here is a list of what entertainment is available:

Make choice of which your highness will see first.

Choice whichever your highness would like first.

Giving a paper

THESEUS

[Reads] 'The battle with the Centaurs, to be sung

“The battle between Hercules and the Centaurs, sung

By an Athenian eunuch to the harp.'

By an Athenian eunuch while playing the harp.”

We'll none of that: that have I told my love,

Not that one: I told that story to Hippolyta

In glory of my kinsman Hercules.

To praise my friend Hercules.

Reads

'The riot of the tipsy Bacchanals,

“The riots of the drunken Bacchanals

Tearing the Thracian singer in their rage.'

Who rip apart the singer from Thrace, Orpheus, in their rage.”

That is an old device; and it was play'd

This is an old tale: I saw it

When I from Thebes came last a conqueror.

When I came from Thebes as a conqueror.

Reads

'The thrice three Muses mourning for the death

“Nine Muses mourning for the death

Of Learning, late deceased in beggary.'

Of Learning and Knowledge, deceased after being poor.”

That is some satire, keen and critical,

This seems to be a satire, very analytical,

Not sorting with a nuptial ceremony.

And not matching the mood of a wedding ceremony.

Reads

'A tedious brief scene of young Pyramus

A tedious brief scene of young Pyramus

And his love Thisbe; very tragical mirth.'

And his love Thisbe; very sad happiness.”

Merry and tragical! tedious and brief!

Happy and sad! Tedious, but still brief!

That is, hot ice and wondrous strange snow.

That’s like hot ice, and strange snow.

How shall we find the concord of this discord?

What is the harmony to this disharmony? How do these things fit together?

PHILOSTRATE

A play there is, my lord, some ten words long,

Yes, that is a play, my lord, of about ten words long,

Which is as brief as I have known a play;

As brief as any play I have ever known.

But by ten words, my lord, it is too long,

But these ten words are ten too many,

Which makes it tedious; for in all the play

Which makes the play tedious. In the whole play,

There is not one word apt, one player fitted:

Not a single word is the right one, nor one actor adept.

And tragical, my noble lord, it is;

Tragic and sad, my lord, it certainly is,

For Pyramus therein doth kill himself.

For Pyramus kills himself in the play.

Which, when I saw rehearsed, I must confess,

This event, when I saw it rehearsed, I must be honest,

Made mine eyes water; but more merry tears

Made me cry – but happier tears

The passion of loud laughter never shed.

Has my loud laughter never cried like these.

THESEUS

What are they that do play it?

Who are the actors?

PHILOSTRATE

Hard-handed men that work in Athens here,

Common workers and handymen in Athens,

Which never labour'd in their minds till now,

Who never tried working their minds until now,

And now have toil'd their unbreathed memories

And now have overworked their minds

With this same play, against your nuptial.

With this play for your wedding.

THESEUS

And we will hear it.

Then we will hear it.

PHILOSTRATE

No, my noble lord;

No, my noble lord,

It is not for you: I have heard it over,

This is not the play for you. I have heard it

And it is nothing, nothing in the world;

And it is worth nothing, nothing at all,

Unless you can find sport in their intents,

Unless you would enjoy watching their attempts to perform,

Extremely stretch'd and conn'd with cruel pain,

Their bad acting and the memorization that must have cost them much pain,

To do you service.

And then it might suit you.

THESEUS

I will hear that play;

That is the play I want,

For never anything can be amiss,

Since nothing can be wrong

When simpleness and duty tender it.

When simple people try and work hard in something.

Go, bring them in: and take your places, ladies.