The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (523 page)

Two of both kinds make up four.

Two men and two women make four for the company.

Here she comes, curst and sad:

Here comes Hermia, cursed and sad:

Cupid is a knavish lad,

Cupid is a mean prankster

Thus to make poor females mad.

To women feel this poorly.

Re-enter HERMIA

HERMIA

Never so weary, never so in woe,

I have never been this exhausted or this sad,

Bedabbled with the dew and torn with briers,

And I am wet with dew, and scratched by the thorns.

I can no further crawl, no further go;

I cannot crawl any farther, much less walk.

My legs can keep no pace with my desires.

My legs are not as strong as my desire to get back to Athens,

Here will I rest me till the break of day.

So I will rest here for the rest of the night, until morning.

Heavens shield Lysander, if they mean a fray!

God protect Lysander if there is a duel!

Lies down and sleeps

PUCK

On the ground

Sleep here

Sleep sound:

On the ground

I'll apply

While I put this potion

To your eye,

In your eye,

Gentle lover, remedy.

Gentle lover, and it will fix you.

Squeezing the juice on LYSANDER's eyes

When thou wakest,

When you wake,

Thou takest

You will feel

True delight

Your true love again

In the sight

After you see

Of thy former lady's eye:

Hermia, whom you formerly loved.

And the country proverb known,

The saying in the country

That every man should take his own,

That “Every man should take his own,”

In your waking shall be shown:

And you will prove this when you wake:

Jack shall have Jill;

Jack will love Jill

Nought shall go ill;

And neither shall be upset,

The man shall have his mare again, and all shall be well.

The man will have his lady again, and everything will be good.

Exit

The same. LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA, and HERMIA lying asleep.

Enter TITANIA and BOTTOM; PEASEBLOSSOM, COBWEB, MOTH, MUSTARDSEED, and other Fairies attending; OBERON behind unseen

TITANIA

Come, sit thee down upon this flowery bed,

Come over here and sit on this bed of flowers

While I thy amiable cheeks do coy,

While I brush your smooth cheeks

And stick musk-roses in thy sleek smooth head,

And places flowers in your hair

And kiss thy fair large ears, my gentle joy.

And kiss your beautiful, large ears, my joy.

BOTTOM

Where's Peaseblossom?

Where's Peaseblossom?

PEASEBLOSSOM

Ready.

Here.

BOTTOM

Scratch my head Peaseblossom. Where's Mounsieur Cobweb?

Please scratch my head, Peaseblossom. And where is Monsieur Cobweb?

COBWEB

Ready.

Here.

BOTTOM

Mounsieur Cobweb, good mounsieur, get you your

Monsieur Cobweb, good monsieur, fetch

weapons in your hand, and kill me a red-hipped

your weapons and kill a red-striped

humble-bee on the top of a thistle; and, good

bumblebee sitting on the top of a thistle for me, and then,

mounsieur, bring me the honey-bag. Do not fret

monsieur, bring me honey from it. Do not worry

yourself too much in the action, mounsieur; and,

too much while you are doing this, monsieur, and,

good mounsieur, have a care the honey-bag break not;

good monsieur, try not to break the honey bag:

I would be loath to have you overflown with a

I would hate to see you covered with

honey-bag, signior. Where's Mounsieur Mustardseed?

honey, signior. Where’s Monsieur Mustardseed?

MUSTARDSEED

Ready.

Here.

BOTTOM

Give me your neaf, Mounsieur Mustardseed. Pray you,

Give me your hand, Monsieur Mustardseed. Please,

leave your courtesy, good mounsieur.

do what I ask, good monsieur.

MUSTARDSEED

What's your Will?

What would you like me to do?

BOTTOM

Nothing, good mounsieur, but to help Cavalery Cobweb

Nothing, good monsieur, except to help Calvary Cobweb

to scratch. I must to the barber's, monsieur; for

scratch my head. I must go to a barber, monsieur, because

methinks I am marvellous hairy about the face; and I

I think my beard has grown out all around my face,

am such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me,

and my face is so tender that if hair only tickles it slightly,

I must scratch.

I must scratch it.

TITANIA

What, wilt thou hear some music,

Would you like to hear some music,

my sweet love?

my love?

BOTTOM

I have a reasonable good ear in music. Let's have

I have a good ear for music. Someone play

the tongs and the bones.

The triangle and the keys.

TITANIA

Or say, sweet love, what thou desirest to eat.

Or maybe, my love, you can say what you would like to eat.

BOTTOM

Truly, a peck of provender: I could munch your good

Really, a good bit of grass: I could munch on some

dry oats. Methinks I have a great desire to a bottle

dry oats. I think I really want a portion

of hay: good hay, sweet hay, hath no fellow.

of hay. There is nothing like good, sweet hay.

TITANIA

I have a venturous fairy that shall seek

I have a fairy that will find

The squirrel's hoard, and fetch thee new nuts.

The nuts a squirrel has hidden for winter, and will fetch you some of them.

BOTTOM

I had rather have a handful or two of dried peas.

I’d rather eat a handful or two of dried peas.

But, I pray you, let none of your people stir me: I

But, please, don’t let your fairies wait on me now: I

have an exposition of sleep come upon me.

am feeling incredibly tired all of a sudden.

TITANIA

Sleep thou, and I will wind thee in my arms.

Then sleep, and I will put my arms around you.

Fairies, begone, and be all ways away.

Fairies, go away in all directions.

Exeunt fairies

So doth the woodbine the sweet honeysuckle

The woodbine plant and the honeysuckle

Gently entwist; the female ivy so

Wrap around each other just as I am doing to you. So does the female ivy

Enrings the barky fingers of the elm.

Wrapping around the bark trunk of the elm.

O, how I love thee! how I dote on thee!

I love you so much and want to give you so much!

They sleep

Enter PUCK

OBERON

[Advancing] Welcome, good Robin.

Hello, good Robin.

See'st thou this sweet sight?

Do you see this sweet picture?

Her dotage now I do begin to pity:

I’m starting to pity her affection

For, meeting her of late behind the wood,

Because, when I met her recently here in the forest,

Seeking sweet favours from this hateful fool,

She was looking for gifts for this fool,

I did upbraid her and fall out with her;

And I argued and fought with her.

For she his hairy temples then had rounded

She has placed around his hairy head

With a coronet of fresh and fragrant flowers;

A crown of fresh, good smelling flowers:

And that same dew, which sometime on the buds

And the dew that rests on the flower buds,

Was wont to swell like round and orient pearls,

Which sometimes looks like perfectly round pearls from the Far East,

Stood now within the pretty flowerets' eyes

Stood in the flowers

Like tears that did their own disgrace bewail.

Like tears, crying at the disgrace of being around the fool’s head.

When I had at my pleasure taunted her

When I was done having my fun in taunting her

And she in mild terms begg'd my patience,

And she had begged me to stop,

I then did ask of her her changeling child;

I asked her of her orphan child

Which straight she gave me, and her fairy sent

Whom she immediately gave to me, and sent her fairy

To bear him to my bower in fairy land.

To take him to my room in fairy land.

And now I have the boy, I will undo

Now that I have the boy I will give her the antidote

This hateful imperfection of her eyes:

To remove this ugly infatuation.

And, gentle Puck, take this transformed scalp

Also, Puck, remove this donkey-head

From off the head of this Athenian swain;

From the head of the Athenian commoner

That, he awaking when the other do,

So that he, waking up when the others do,

May all to Athens back again repair