The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (459 page)

LAUNCELOT

Your worship was wont to tell me that

I could do nothing without bidding.

You always told me

I couldn’t do anything unless you said I could.

Enter Jessica

JESSICA

Call you? what is your will?

Did you call? What do you want?

SHYLOCK

I am bid forth to supper, Jessica:

There are my keys. But wherefore should I go?

I am not bid for love; they flatter me:

But yet I'll go in hate, to feed upon

The prodigal Christian. Jessica, my girl,

Look to my house. I am right loath to go:

There is some ill a-brewing towards my rest,

For I did dream of money-bags to-night.

I am invited for dinner, Jessica,

Here are my keys/ But why should I go?

The invite is not because they like me. They’re just flattering me.

But I’ll go out of spite, to feast at the expense of

The wasteful Christian. Jessica, my girl,

Look after the house. I am hesitant to go:

There’s something up that is making me uneasy.

I know because I dreamt of money bags last night.

LAUNCELOT

I beseech you, sir, go: my young master doth expect

your reproach.

Please, sir, go. My new master is expecting

you to approach.

SHYLOCK

So do I his.

And I expect his reproach.

LAUNCELOT

And they have conspired together, I will not say you

shall see a masque; but if you do, then it was not

for nothing that my nose fell a-bleeding on

Black-Monday last at six o'clock i' the morning,

falling out that year on Ash-Wednesday was four

year, in the afternoon.

And they have been making plans. I will not say you

will see a masquerade, but if you do, then it wasn’t for

nothing that my nose started bleeding on

this past Easter Monday at six o’clock in the morning,

exactly like it did on Ash Wednesday four

years ago in the afternoon.

SHYLOCK

What, are there masques? Hear you me, Jessica:

Lock up my doors; and when you hear the drum

And the vile squealing of the wry-neck'd fife,

Clamber not you up to the casements then,

Nor thrust your head into the public street

To gaze on Christian fools with varnish'd faces,

But stop my house's ears, I mean my casements:

Let not the sound of shallow foppery enter

My sober house. By Jacob's staff, I swear,

I have no mind of feasting forth to-night:

But I will go. Go you before me, sirrah;

Say I will come.

What, there’s going to be a masquerade? Listen to me, Jessica:

Lock up my doors and when you hear the drum

And the disgusting squealing of the crooked flute

Don’t crawl up to the windows

Or stick your head out to look into the street

To look at the Christrian fools with painted faces,

Instead, plug up my house’s ears, I mean my windows:

Don’t let the sound of shallow foolishness enter

my serious house. By Jacob’s staff, I swear,

I’m not in the mood to go out feasting tonight,

But I will go. Go on ahead of me, then,

And tell them I will come.

LAUNCELOT

I will go before, sir. Mistress, look out at

window, for all this, There will come a Christian

boy, will be worth a Jewess' eye.

I will go ahead, sir. Mistress, look out the

window later, and you will see the arrival of a Christian

boy well worth the glance of a Jewess’ eye.

Exit

SHYLOCK

What says that fool of Hagar's offspring, ha?

What did that fool say to you, huh?

JESSICA

His words were 'Farewell mistress;' nothing else.

He said ‘Goodbye mistress,’ and nothing else.

SHYLOCK

The patch is kind enough, but a huge feeder;

Snail-slow in profit, and he sleeps by day

More than the wild-cat: drones hive not with me;

Therefore I part with him, and part with him

To one that would have him help to waste

His borrow'd purse. Well, Jessica, go in;

Perhaps I will return immediately:

Do as I bid you; shut doors after you:

Fast bind, fast find;

A proverb never stale in thrifty mind.

The fool is nice enough, but he eats a lot.

He is slow as a snail when he works, and he naps

As much as a cat. Bees that don’t work can’t stay in my hive

So I am letting him go, and letting him work

For the one that will have help to waste

The money he borrowed from me. Well, Jessica, go inside.

I may very well return immediately.

Do as I tell you and shut the doors behind you.

Lock things up and you will find them where you left them,

Which is a saying that is always fresh in a thrifty mind.

Exit

JESSICA

Farewell; and if my fortune be not crost,

I have a father, you a daughter, lost.

Goodbye, and if my luck holds out,

I will lose a father and you will lose a daughter.

Exit

Enter GRATIANO and SALARINO, masqued

GRATIANO

This is the pent-house under which Lorenzo

Desired us to make stand.

This is the roof that Lorenzo

wants us to wait under.

SALARINO

His hour is almost past.

It’s after the time he said he’d be here.

GRATIANO

And it is marvel he out-dwells his hour,

For lovers ever run before the clock.

It is surprising that he is late

Because lovers are usually early.

SALARINO

O, ten times faster Venus' pigeons fly

To seal love's bonds new-made, than they are wont

To keep obliged faith unforfeited!

Yes, time flies ten times faster

for those who are newly in love that it does for those

who have been married a long time and are trying to remain faithful!

GRATIANO

That ever holds: who riseth from a feast

With that keen appetite that he sits down?

Where is the horse that doth untread again

His tedious measures with the unbated fire

That he did pace them first? All things that are,

Are with more spirit chased than enjoy'd.

How like a younker or a prodigal

The scarfed bark puts from her native bay,

Hugg'd and embraced by the strumpet wind!

How like the prodigal doth she return,

With over-weather'd ribs and ragged sails,

Lean, rent and beggar'd by the strumpet wind!

That’s the case for a lot of things: who rises from a feast

With the same sharp appetite as when he sat down?

Where is a horse that can retrace again

His careful footsteps with the same intense heat with which

He first ran them? All the things we want

Are chased after with more enthusiasm than they are enjoyed.

Just like a fashionable young man or a favorite son—

A fully decked out ship leaves her bay,

Lovingly embraced by the wind,

But like the prodigal son she returns,

With weather worn ribs and ragged sails,

Made lean, torn and destitute by the same wind.

SALARINO

Here comes Lorenzo: more of this hereafter.

Here comes Lorenzo. We can talk more about this later.

Enter LORENZO

LORENZO

Sweet friends, your patience for my long abode;

Not I, but my affairs, have made you wait:

When you shall please to play the thieves for wives,

I'll watch as long for you then. Approach;

Here dwells my father Jew. Ho! who's within?

My good friends, thanks for your patience with my delay.

It wasn’t me, but my business, that made me late.

When you, too, have to be thieves to get your wives,

I’ll wait as long for you, then. Come here.

This is the house of my future father-in-law. Hello! Who’s inside?

Enter JESSICA, above, in boy's clothes

JESSICA

Who are you? Tell me, for more certainty,

Albeit I'll swear that I do know your tongue.

Who are you? Tell me, so I can be certain,

Although I swear I know you by your voice.

LORENZO

Lorenzo, and thy love.

It’s Lorenzo, your love.

JESSICA

Lorenzo, certain, and my love indeed,

For who love I so much? And now who knows

But you, Lorenzo, whether I am yours?

Lorenzo, for certain, and my love for sure.

Who else do I love so much? Who knows now

but you, Lorenzo, whether I am yours?

LORENZO

Heaven and thy thoughts are witness that thou art.

As God is my witness, you know you are mine.

JESSICA

Here, catch this casket; it is worth the pains.

I am glad 'tis night, you do not look on me,

For I am much ashamed of my exchange:

But love is blind and lovers cannot see

The pretty follies that themselves commit;

For if they could, Cupid himself would blush

To see me thus transformed to a boy.

Here, catch this box—it will be worth the trouble.

I am glad it is dark and you can not see me

Because I am ashamed of my appearance.

But love is blind and lovers cannot see

The silly things they do.

If they could, Cupid himself would blush

To see me transformed into a boy.

LORENZO

Descend, for you must be my torchbearer.

Come down because you are to be my torchbearer.

JESSICA

What, must I hold a candle to my shames?

They in themselves, good-sooth, are too too light.