The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (294 page)

Held current music too.

May the devil fiddle with them! I'm glad they're going,

for there’s certainly no way to convert them: now

an honest country lord like me, who's been pushed

out of the game for a long time, may try his plain song

and be listened to; and, by our Lady,

be thought of as fashionable.

Chamberlain

Well said, Lord Sands;

Your colt's tooth is not cast yet.

Well said, Lord Sands;

you haven't lost your youth yet.

SANDS

No, my lord;

Nor shall not, while I have a stump.

No, my lord;

and I shan't, while I have any of it left.

Chamberlain

Sir Thomas,

Whither were you a-going?

Sir Thomas,

where were you going?

LOVELL

To the cardinal's:

Your lordship is a guest too.

To the cardinal's:

your lordship is a guest too.

Chamberlain

O, 'tis true:

This night he makes a supper, and a great one,

To many lords and ladies; there will be

The beauty of this kingdom, I'll assure you.

Oh, that's true:

he's giving a great supper tonight

for many lords and ladies; all the

beauties of the kingdom will be there, I can assure you.

LOVELL

That churchman bears a bounteous mind indeed,

A hand as fruitful as the land that feeds us;

His dews fall every where.

That churchman has a generous mind indeed,

he is as bounteous as the land that feeds us;

he spreads his gifts far and wide.

Chamberlain

No doubt he's noble;

He had a black mouth that said other of him.

He's obviously a good man;

the one who spoke differently of him had a dirty mouth.

SANDS

He may, my lord; has wherewithal: in him

Sparing would show a worse sin than ill doctrine:

Men of his way should be most liberal;

They are set here for examples.

He did, my lord; he has the means: if he

was not generous it would be a worse sin than being

mistaken in his religion: men like him should be generous;

they are put on earth to be examples.

Chamberlain

True, they are so:

But few now give so great ones. My barge stays;

Your lordship shall along. Come, good Sir Thomas,

We shall be late else; which I would not be,

For I was spoke to, with Sir Henry Guildford

This night to be comptrollers.

It's true, they are:

but there are few who are so generous now. My barge is waiting;

your lordship shall come with me. Come, good Sir Thomas,

otherwise we will be late; I don't wish to be,

for I have been asked to be a steward tonight

along with Sir Henry Guildford.

SANDS

I am your lordship's.

I am at your lordship's service.

Exeunt

Hautboys. A small table under a state for CARDINAL WOLSEY, a longer table for the guests. Then enter ANNE and divers other Ladies and Gentlemen as guests, at one door; at another door, enter GUILDFORD

GUILDFORD

Ladies, a general welcome from his grace

Salutes ye all; this night he dedicates

To fair content and you: none here, he hopes,

In all this noble bevy, has brought with her

One care abroad; he would have all as merry

As, first, good company, good wine, good welcome,

Can make good people. O, my lord, you're tardy:

Enter Chamberlain, SANDS, and LOVELL

The very thought of this fair company

Clapp'd wings to me.

Ladies, his grace sends a general welcome

to you all; he is dedicating tonight to

happiness and to you: he hopes that no one

in all of this noble group has brought with her

one worry from outside; he would like all to be as happy

as good company, good wine, and good welcome

can make good people. Oh, my lord, you're late:

just the thought of this beautiful company

made me hurry here.

Chamberlain

You are young, Sir Harry Guildford.

You are young, Sir Harry Guildford.

SANDS

Sir Thomas Lovell, had the cardinal

But half my lay thoughts in him, some of these

Should find a running banquet ere they rested,

I think would better please 'em: by my life,

They are a sweet society of fair ones.

Sir Thomas Lovell, if the cardinal

had only half of my layman's thoughts in him,

some of these would eat up quickly,

I think that would satisfy them: I swear,

this is a wonderful assembly of beautiful women.

LOVELL

O, that your lordship were but now confessor

To one or two of these!

Oh, if only your lordship was confessor

to one or two of these!

SANDS

I would I were;

They should find easy penance.

I wish I was;

their punishments would be easy.

LOVELL

Faith, how easy?

Tell us, how easy?

SANDS

As easy as a down-bed would afford it.

As easy as a feather bed could make them.

Chamberlain

Sweet ladies, will it please you sit? Sir Harry,

Place you that side; I'll take the charge of this:

His grace is entering. Nay, you must not freeze;

Two women placed together makes cold weather:

My Lord Sands, you are one will keep 'em waking;

Pray, sit between these ladies.

Sweet ladies, will you please sit down? Sir Harry,

you sit over there; I'll take charge of this side:

his Grace is coming. No, you mustn't sit together;

two women next to each other makes for a chilly time:

my Lord Sands, you will warm them up;

please, sit between these ladies.

SANDS

By my faith,

And thank your lordship. By your leave, sweet ladies:

If I chance to talk a little wild, forgive me;

I had it from my father.

I will indeed,

and I thank your lordship. With your permission, sweet ladies:

if I happen to talk a little wildly, forgive me;

I inherited the habit from my father.

ANNE

Was he mad, sir?

Was he mad, sir?

SANDS

O, very mad, exceeding mad, in love too:

But he would bite none; just as I do now,

He would kiss you twenty with a breath.

Oh, very mad, exceedingly mad, mad in love too:

but he never bit anyone; he would kiss

twenty of you in an instant, just as I do now.

Kisses her

Chamberlain

Well said, my lord.

So, now you're fairly seated. Gentlemen,

The penance lies on you, if these fair ladies

Pass away frowning.

Well said, my lord.

So, now everyone is seated. Gentlemen,

you will be to blame, if these fair ladies

leave without smiles on their faces.

SANDS

For my little cure,

Let me alone.

You can trust me

with my share.

Hautboys. Enter CARDINAL WOLSEY, and takes his state

CARDINAL WOLSEY

You're welcome, my fair guests: that noble lady,

Or gentleman, that is not freely merry,

Is not my friend: this, to confirm my welcome;

And to you all, good health.

You are welcome, my fair guests: any noble lady,

or gentleman, who is not openly happy

is not my friend: I toast you to confirm my welcome;

and I wish you all good health.

Drinks

SANDS

Your grace is noble:

Let me have such a bowl may hold my thanks,

And save me so much talking.

Your grace is noble:

let me have a cup big enough to show my thanks,

and save me having to speak.

CARDINAL WOLSEY

My Lord Sands,

I am beholding to you: cheer your neighbours.

Ladies, you are not merry: gentlemen,

Whose fault is this?

My Lord Sands,

I am indebted to you: cheer up your neighbours.

Ladies, you are not jolly: gentlemen,

whose fault is this?

SANDS

The red wine first must rise

In their fair cheeks, my lord; then we shall have 'em

Talk us to silence.

We must let the wine redden

their fair cheeks first, my lord; then they shall

talk us into silence.

ANNE

You are a merry gamester,

My Lord Sands.

You are cheerful joker,

my Lord Sands.

SANDS

Yes, if I make my play.

Here's to your ladyship: and pledge it, madam,

For 'tis to such a thing,--

Yes, when I'm allowed to be.

I drink to your ladyship: and match it, madam,

for I'm drinking to something–

ANNE

You cannot show me.

Which you cannot show me.

SANDS

I told your grace they would talk anon.

I told your grace they would talk soon enough.

Drum and trumpet, chambers discharged

CARDINAL WOLSEY

What's that?

What's that?

Chamberlain

Look out there, some of ye.

Look outside, some of you.