The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (171 page)

May God have mercy on you! Hear your sentence. You have conspired against this royal throne and joined with an enemy. You have taken the enemy’s money and conspired to kill your king, place his princes and peers in servitude, and oppress his subjects to live in desolation. We do not seek revenge, but hold you to the law of our kingdom. Go, you poor miserable wretches, to your death and may God have mercy and give you patience to endure and truly repent all of your offences. Take them away.

Exit Cambridge, Scroop, and Grey guarded.

Now, lords, for France; the enterprise whereof


Shall be to you, as us, like glorious.


We doubt not of a fair and lucky war,


Since God so graciously hath brought to light


This dangerous treason lurking in our way


To hinder our beginnings. We doubt not now


But every rub is smoothed on our way.


Then forth, dear countrymen! Let us deliver


Our puissance into the hand of God,


Putting it straight in expedition.


Cheerly to sea! The signs of war advance!


No king of England, if not king of France!

Now, lords, as for France, I am sure we will be victorious, since God saw fit to bring this treachery to light. We should have no more trouble here on out. Let’s put ourselves in God’s hands and set sail for France.

Exit.

Enter Pistol, Hostess, Nym, Bardolph, and Boy.

Hostess

Prithee, honey, sweet husband, let me bring thee to Staines.

Let me go with you to Staines, dear husband.

Pistol

No; for my manly heart doth yearn.


Bardolph, be blithe; Nym, rouse thy vaunting veins;


Boy, bristle thy courage up; for Falstaff he is dead,


And we must yearn therefore.

No, because Falstaff is dead. Bardolph, Nym, Boy prepare yourselves.

Bardolph

Would I were with him, wheresome'er he is, either in


heaven or in hell!

I wish I was with him, in heaven or hell.

Hostess

Nay, sure, he's not in hell. He's in Arthur's bosom, if ever man went to Arthur's bosom. 'A made a finer end and went


away an it had been any christom child. 'A parted even just between twelve and one, even at the turning o' the tide: for after I saw him fumble with the sheets, and play with flowers, and smile upon his fingers' ends, I knew there was but one way; for his nose was as sharp as a pen, and 'a babbled of green fields. "How now, Sir John!" quoth I; "what, man! be o' good cheer." So 'a cried out, "God, God, God!" three or four times. Now I, to comfort him, bid him 'a should not think of God; I hop'd there was no need to trouble himself with any such thoughts yet. So 'a bade me lay more clothes on his feet. I put my hand into the bed and felt them, and they were as cold as any stone; then I felt to his knees, [and they were as cold as any stone;] and so upward and upward, and all was as cold as any stone.

I’m sure he’s not in hell. He was a christened as a child and in the end he babbled on and cried out to God. I tried to tell him not to think of God, and then he asked me to put more clothes on him. From his feet on up, he was cold as stone.

Nym

They say he cried out of sack.

They say he cried about alcohol.

Hostess

Ay, that 'a did.

Yes.

Bardolph

And of women.

And he asked for women.

Hostess

Nay, that 'a did not.

No, he didn’t do that.

Boy

Yes, that 'a did; and said they were devils incarnate.

Yes, he did, and he said they were reincarnated devils.

Hostess

'A could never abide carnation; 'twas a colour he never liked.

He never would bear carnations. He didn’t like the color.

Boy

'A said once, the devil would have him about women.

He said the devil would get him due to women.

Hostess

'A did in some sort, indeed, handle women; but then he was


rheumatic, and talk'd of the whore of Babylon.

He did say something about women, mostly the whore of Babylon, but he was feverish.

Boy

Do you not remember, 'a saw a flea stick upon Bardolph's nose, and 'a said it was a black soul burning in hell-fire?

Do you remember when he saw a flea on Bardolph’s nose and he said it was a black soul burning in hell?

Bardolph

Well, the fuel is gone that maintain'd that fire. That's all the riches I got in his service.

Well, the fuel that burned that fire is gone. That’s about all I ever got from him, was a drink.

Nym

Shall we shog? The King will be gone from Southampton.

Should we get going? The king will be gone from Southampton.

Pistol

Come, let's away. My love, give me thy lips.


Look to my chattels and my movables.


Let senses rule; the word is "Pitch and Pay."


Trust none;


For oaths are straws, men's faiths are wafer-cakes


And hold-fast is the only dog, my duck;


Therefore, Caveto be thy counsellor.


Go, clear thy crystals. Yoke-fellows in arms,


Let us to France; like horse-leeches, my boys,


To suck, to suck, the very blood to suck!

Let’s go. Kiss me, my love. Look after my property and possessions. Use common sense, and the rule is “Everyone must pay.” Don’t trust anyone, because oaths are as easily broken as straws. Men’s faith is broken as easily as wafers, so the only thing you can trust is what you can hold in your hand, my love. Go dry your eyes. Fellows-in-arms, let’s go to France and be like leeches, sucking their blood!

Boy

And that's but unwholesome food, they say.

That’s not wholesome food, they say.

Pistol

Touch her soft mouth, and march.

Kiss her so we can leave.

Bardolph

Farewell, hostess.

Goodbye, hostess.

Kissing her.

Nym

I cannot kiss; that is the humour of it; but, adieu.

I can’t kiss anymore, and that’s that, but oh well. Goodbye.

Pistol

Let housewifery appear. Keep close, I thee command.

Be careful and stay true, I command you.

Hostess

Farewell; adieu.

Goodbye, farewell.

Exit.

Flourish. Enter the French King, the Dauphin, the Dukes of Berri and Bretagne, the Constable, and Others.

French King

Thus comes the English with full power upon us,


And more than carefully it us concerns


To answer royally in our defences.


Therefore the Dukes of Berri and of Bretagne,


Of Brabant and of Orleans, shall make forth,


And you, Prince Dauphin, with all swift dispatch,


To line and new repair our towns of war


With men of courage and with means defendant;


For England his approaches makes as fierce


As waters to the sucking of a gulf.


It fits us then to be as provident


As fears may teach us out of late examples


Left by the fatal and neglected English


Upon our fields.

Therefore, the English are coming with all of their forces. So, we must answer them with our defenses. Dukes of Berri and Bretagne, and Brabant and Orleans, quickly prepare our defense with courageous men. England is a fierce enemy and we must be ready. We can’t delay, as we have before and neglect the English in our fields.

Dauphin

My most redoubted father,


It is most meet we arm us 'gainst the foe;


For peace itself should not so dull a kingdom,


Though war nor no known quarrel were in question,


But that defences, musters, preparations,


Should be maintain'd, assembled, and collected,


As were a war in expectation.


Therefore, I say, 'tis meet we all go forth


To view the sick and feeble parts of France.


And let us do it with no show of fear;


No, with no more than if we heard that England


Were busied with a Whitsun morris-dance;


For, my good liege, she is so idly king'd,


Her sceptre so fantastically borne


By a vain, giddy, shallow, humorous youth,


That fear attends her not.

My fearsome father, we definitely have to arm ourselves against the enemy even in times of peace. We can’t let our guard down. I think we should go visit the weakest areas of France, but show no fear in the process, as if England were just performing a dance. England, my dear king, has a poor leader. Her monarchy is so vain, shallow, silly, and young, that we needn’t fear.

Constable

O peace, Prince Dauphin!


You are too much mistaken in this king.


Question your Grace the late ambassadors


With what great state he heard their embassy,


How well supplied with noble counsellors,


How modest in exception, and withal


How terrible in constant resolution,


And you shall find his vanities forespent


Were but the outside of the Roman Brutus,


Covering discretion with a coat of folly;


As gardeners do with ordure hide those roots


That shall first spring and be most delicate.