The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (147 page)

SHALLOW.

He greets me well, sir.  I knew him a good backsword man.  How

doth the good knight? may I ask how my lady his wife doth?

Kind greetings, Sir; I knew him when he was a good single stick fighter.

How is the good knight? Might I enquire how his wife is?

BARDOLPH.

Sir, pardon; a soldier is better accommodated than with a wife.

Excuse me, sir; a soldier has better  accommodation than a wife.

SHALLOW.

It is well said, in faith, sir; and it is well said indeed too.

Better accommodated! it is good; yea, indeed, is it:  good phrases are

surely, and ever were, very commendable.  Accommodated! it comes of

"accommodo:"  very good; a good phrase.

That's well said, truly, sir; very well said indeed.

Better accommodation! That's good; yes, it certainly is: good phrases

should always be praised. Accommodation! That comes from

“accommodo", very good; a good phrase.

BARDOLPH.

Pardon me, sir; I have heard the word. Phrase call you it? By this

day, I know not the phrase; but I will maintain the word with my sword

to be a soldier-like word, and a word of exceeding good command, by

heaven.

Accommodated; that is, when a man is, as they say, accommodated; or

when a man is, being, whereby a' may be thought to be accommodated;

which is an excellent thing.

Excuse me, sir; I have heard the word. You call it a phrase?

I swear, I don't know the phrase; but I am prepared to prove

with my sword that it's a soldierly word, a very good word of command, by heaven.

Accommodated; that is, when a man is, as they say, accommodated;

or when it looks like a man can be accommodated,

which is an excellent thing.

SHALLOW.

It is very just.

That's very true.

[Enter Falstaff.]

Look, here comes good Sir John. Give me your good hand, give me your

worship's good hand:  by my troth, you like well and bear your years

very well:  welcome, good Sir John.

Look, here comes good Sir John. Give me your hand,

your worship's good hand: I swear, you look very fit and

don't show your age: welcome, good Sir John.

FALSTAFF.

I am glad to see you well, good Master Robert Shallow:  Master

Surecard, as I think?

I'm glad to see you well, good Master Robert Shallow:

you must be Master Surecard?

SHALLOW.

No, Sir John; it is my cousin Silence, in commission with me.

No, Sir John; this is my cousin Silence, who has the same position as me.

FALSTAFF.

Good Master Silence, it well befits you should be of the peace.

Good Master Silence, it's very fitting that you should be a Justice of the Peace.

SILENCE.

Your good worship is welcome.

Your honour is very welcome.

FALSTAFF.

Fie! this is hot weather, gentlemen.  Have you provided me here

half a dozen sufficient men?

Phew! This is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you got

half a dozen decent men for me?

SHALLOW.

Marry, have we, sir. Will you sit?

We certainly have, sir. Will you sit down?

FALSTAFF.

Let me see them, I beseech you.

Please let me see them.

SHALLOW.

Where's the roll? where's the roll? where's the roll? Let me see,

let me see, let me see.

So, so, so, so, so, so, so:  yea, marry, sir:  Ralph Mouldy!

Let them appear as I call; let them do so, let them do so.

Let me see; where is Mouldy?

Where's the register? Where's the register? Where's the register?

Let me see, let me see, let me see.

So, so, so, so, so, so: yes, certainly, sir: Ralph Mouldy!

Let them come when I call them; let them do that.

Let me see; where is Mouldy?

MOULDY.

Here, an't please you.

Here, if you please.

SHALLOW.

What think you, Sir John? a good-limbed fellow; young, strong,

and of good friends.

What do you think, Sir John? A well-made fellow; young, strong,

and he comes from a good family.

FALSTAFF.

Is thy name Mouldy?

Is your name Mouldy?

MOULDY.

Yea, an't please you.

Yes, if you please.

FALSTAFF.

'Tis the more time thou wert used.

It's about time you were used.

SHALLOW.

Ha, ha, ha! most excellent, i' faith! things that are mouldy lack use:

very singular good! in faith, well said, Sir John, very well said.

Hah, hah, hah! An excellent joke, I swear it! Things that aren't used grow mouldy:

really very good! Very well said, Sir John.

FALSTAFF.

Prick him.

Tick him off the list.

MOULDY.

I was prick'd well enough before, an you could have let me alone:

my old dame will be undone now for one to do her husbandry and her

drudgery:  you need not to have pricked me; there are other men fitter

to go out than I.

I liked my place well enough before, if you had left me alone:

my old woman now won't have anyone to do all the hard work:

you needn't have chosen me; there are other men more suitable

for service than me.

FALSTAFF.

Go to:  peace, Mouldy; you shall go. Mouldy, it is time you were spent.

Enough: quiet, Mouldy; you will shall go. Mouldy, it's time you were used up.

MOULDY.

Spent!

Used up!

SHALLOW.

Peace, fellow, peace; stand aside:  know you where you are?  For

the other, Sir John:  let me see:  Simon Shadow!

Quiet, fellow, quiet; stand aside: do you know where you are?

Now the other man, Sir John: let me see: Simon Shadow!

FALSTAFF.

Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under:  he 's like to be a

cold soldier.

Yes indeed, let me sit underneath him: he shall be a

cool soldier.

SHALLOW.

Where's Shadow?

Where is Shadow?

SHADOW.

Here, sir.

Here, sir.

FALSTAFF.

Shadow, whose son art thou?

Shadow, whose son are you?

SHADOW.

My mother's son, sir.

The son of my mother, sir.

FALSTAFF.

Thy mother's son! like enough; and thy father's shadow:  so the son of

the female is the shadow of the male:  it is often so indeed; but

much of the father's substance!

Your mother’s son! Likely enough; just a shadow of your father:

the son of the female is the shadow of the male: it's often the way;

you're lacking your father's substance!

SHALLOW.

Do you like him, Sir John?

Will he do, Sir John?

FALSTAFF.

Shadow will serve for summer; prick him; for we have a number of

shadows to fill up the muster-book.

Shadows are good in summer; tick him off, we have to

get our numbers up.

SHALLOW.

Thomas Wart!

Thomas Wart!

FALSTAFF.

Where's he?

Where is he?

WART.

Here, sir.

Here, sir.

FALSTAFF.

Is thy name Wart?

Is your name Wart?

WART.

Yea, sir.

Yes, sir.

FALSTAFF.

Thou art a very ragged wart.

You are very ragged wart.

SHALLOW.

Shall I prick him down, Sir John?

Shall I tick him off, Sir John?

FALSTAFF.

It were superfluous; for his apparel is built upon his back and

the whole frame stands upon pins:  prick him no more.

There's no need, he looks as if he's been

put together with pins, no need to scratch him off.

SHALLOW.

Ha, ha, ha! you can do it, sir; you can do it:  I commend you

well.

Francis Feeble!

Hah, hah, hah! You've got it, sir; you've got it:

you're a good fellow.

Francis Feeble!

FEEBLE.

Here, sir.

Here, sir.

FALSTAFF.

What trade art thou, Feeble?

What's your profession, Feeble?

FEEBLE.

A woman's tailor, sir.

A dressmaker, sir.

SHALLOW.

Shall I prick him, sir?

Shall I tick him off, sir?

FALSTAFF.

You may:  but if he had been a man's tailor, he'ld ha' prick'd you.

Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemy's battle as thou hast done in

a woman's petticoat?

You can: but if he was a tailor for men, he would have pricked you.

Will you make as many holes in the enemy's soldiers as you have

made in a woman's petticoat?

FEEBLE.

I will do my good will, sir; you can have no more.

I'll do my best, sir; that's all I can offer.

FALSTAFF.

Well said, good woman's tailor! well said, courageous Feeble! thou wilt

be as valiant as the wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse.

Prick the woman's tailor:  well, Master Shallow, deep, Master Shallow.

Well said, dressmaker! Well said, courageous Feeble!

You will be as brave as an angry dove or a stouthearted mouse.

Put down the dressmaker: very good, Master Shallow, excellent, Master Shallow.

FEEBLE.

I would Wart might have gone, sir.

I wish Wart had gone, sir.

FALSTAFF.

I would thou wert a man's tailor, that thou mightst mend him and make

him fit to go. I cannot put him to a private soldier that is the leader

of so many thousands; let that suffice, most forcible Feeble.

I wish you were a man's tailor, then you could repair him and

get him fit to go. I can't make a private soldier out of someone who has to

take care of so many vermin; let that be enough, brave Feeble.

FEEBLE.

It shall suffice, sir.