The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (141 page)

became the way all brave men spoke;

those who could speak slowly and quietly

would throw away that virtue

so they could seem like him. So that in speech, action,

diet, types of pleasure,

military rules, impetuous behaviour,

he was the sign and mirror, copy and book

that all others aspired to. This was the wonderful,

miraculous man whom you abandoned,

he was second to none but you did not second him, he was left alone to face the battle in a place

where only the sound of his own name

was any defence: that's how you left him.

Never, never, insult his ghost

by being more concerned about what others

think of your honour than he did! Leave them be.

The Marshal and the Archbishop have a good army:

if my sweet Harry had had just half that force, I might today be hugging Hotspur

and talking about Monmouth's grave.

NORTHUMBERLAND.

Beshrew your heart,

Fair daughter, you do draw my spirits from me

With new lamenting ancient oversights.

But I must go and meet with danger there,

Or it will seek me in another place,

And find me worse provided.

Damn your heart,

sweet daughter, you are depressing me by

reminding me of my past wrongs.

But I must go and confront danger there,

or it will seek me out somewhere else,

where I would be at a greater disadvantage.

LADY NORTHUMBERLAND.

O, fly to Scotland,

Till that the nobles and the armed commons

Have of their puissance made a little taste.

Oh, flee to Scotland,

until the nobles and the armed people

have tried their strength against each other.

LADY PERCY.

If they get ground and vantage of the king,

Then join you with them, like a rib of steel,

To make strength stronger; but, for all our loves,

First let them try themselves. So did your son;

He was so suffer'd:  so came I a widow;

And never shall have length of life enough

To rain upon remembrance with mine eyes,

That it may grow and sprout as high as heaven,

For recordation to my noble husband.

If they get the upper hand over the king,

then you can join with them, like a steel support,

to increase their strength; but, out of love for us,

let them try it on their own first. That's what you allowed

your son to do: that's why I am a widow;

and my life will not be long enough

to water the plant of remembrance with

my tears, so that it can grow as high as heaven

as a memorial to my noble husband.

NORTHUMBERLAND.

Come, come, go in with me. 'Tis with my mind

As with the tide swell'd up unto his height,

That makes a still-stand, running neither way:

Fain would I go to meet the archbishop,

But many thousand reasons hold me back.

I will resolve for Scotland:  there am I,

Till time and vantage crave my company.

Come, come, come inside with me. My mind

is like the tide when it's about to turn,

it stands still, not going either way:

I should definitely go and meet the Archbishop,

but there are many thousands of reasons holding me back.

I will go to Scotland: I will stay there

until the time is right for me to return.

[Exeunt.]

[Enter two Drawers.]

FIRST DRAWER.

What the devil hast thou brought there? apple-johns?

thou knowest Sir John cannot endure an apple-john.

What the devil have you brought there? Preserved apples?

You know Sir John cannot abide preserved apples.

SECOND DRAWER.

Mass, thou sayest true. The prince once set a dish of apple-johns

before him, and told him there were five more Sir Johns, and, putting

off his hat, said "I will now take my leave of these six dry, round,

old, withered knights."  It angered him to the heart:  but he hath

forgot that.

By God, you're right. The Prince once put a dish of preserved apples

in front of him, telling him that here were five more Sir Johns, and, taking

off his hat, he said, “I will now say goodbye to these six dry, round,

old, withered knights." It deeply infuriated him: but he has forgotten that.

FIRST DRAWER.

Why, then, cover, and set them down:  and see if thou canst find out

Sneak's noise; Mistress Tearsheet would fain hear some music.

Dispatch:  The room where they supped is too hot; they'll come in

straight.

Why then, put the cover on them and put them down: and see if you can find

Sneak's band. Mistress Tearsheet would like to hear some music.

Be quick: the room where they ate supper is too hot, they'll be in here shortly.

SECOND DRAWER.

Sirrah, here will be the prince and Master Poins anon; and they

will put on two of our jerkins and aprons; and Sir John must

not know of it:  Bardolph hath brought word.

Sir, the Prince and Master Poins will be here shortly; and they

want to put on two of our jerkins and aprons; and Sir John

mustn't know about it: Bardolph brought the message.

FIRST DRAWER.

By the mass, here will be old Utis:  it will be an excellent

stratagem.

I swear, we'll have a high old time: this is an excellent plan.

SECOND DRAWER.

I'll see if I can find out Sneak.

I'll see if I can find Sneak.

[Exit.]

[Enter Hostess and Doll Tearsheet.]

HOSTESS.

I' faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in an excellent good

temperality:  your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as heart would

desire; and your colour, I warrant you, is as red as any rose, in

good truth, la! But, i' faith, you have drunk too much canaries; and

that 's a marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere one

can say "What's this?"  How do you now?

I swear, sweetheart, I think you are now in an excellent mood;

your pulse is beating as fully as a heart could

desire; and I promise you, your face is as red as any rose,

I swear! But, by God, you have drunk too much canary wine;

and that's a very potent wine, it inflames the blood before one

knows what's going on. How are you now?

DOLL.

Better than I was:  hem!

Better than I was–ahem!

HOSTESS.

Why, that 's well said; a good heart's worth gold.  Lo, here

comes Sir John.

Why, well said; a good heart is worth its weight in gold. Look, here comes  Sir John.

[Enter Falstaff.]

FALSTAFF.

[Singing] "When Arthur first in court"--Empty the jordan.

[Exit First Drawer.]--[Singing] "And was a worthy king."

How now, Mistress Doll!

“
When Arthur was first in court"–empty the chamberpot.

“And was a worthy king."

How are you, Mistress Doll!

HOSTESS.

Sick of a calm; yea, good faith.

I can tell you she is a little ill.

FALSTAFF.

So is all her sect; an they be once in a calm, they are sick.

Like all her kind; they get sick when business is bad.

DOLL.

You muddy rascal, is that all the comfort you give me?

You dirty rascal, is that all the comfort you're going to give me?

FALSTAFF.

You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.

You tempt us to become fat rascals, Mistress Doll.

DOLL.

I make them! gluttony and diseases make them; I make them not.

I tempt you! Gluttony and disease tempts you; I've got nothing to do with it.

FALSTAFF.

If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the diseases,

Doll:  we catch of you, Doll, we catch of you; grant that, my poor

virtue, grant that.

The cook tempts us to gluttony, you help to spread the diseases,

Doll: we catch them from you,  Doll, from you; admit that, you bad woman.

DOLL.

Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels.

What you get from us, my pet, is our valuables.

FALSTAFF.

"Your brooches, pearls, and ouches:"  for to serve bravely is to come

halting off, you know:  to come off the breach with his pike bent

bravely, and to surgery bravely; to venture upon the charged chambers

bravely,--

Yes, broaches, pearls and sores. If you serve bravely you'll end up

with a limp, you know: you'll come away from the battle with your pike bent,

and have to see the surgeon; to attack the loaded barrels bravely–

DOLL.

Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself!

Hang yourself, you dirty scoundrel, hang yourself!

HOSTESS.

By my troth, this is the old fashion; you two never meet but you

fall to some discord:  you are both, i' good truth, as rheumatic

as two dry toasts; you cannot one bear with another's confirmities.

What the good-year! one must bear, and that must be you:  you are the

weaker vessel, as as they say, the emptier vessel.

I swear, this is like the old days; you two never

meet without some argument. You are both as

hot and dry as toast; you grate on each other.

What the devil! One must do the carrying, and that must be you:

you are the weaker vessel, so they say, the emptier vessel.

DOLL.

Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogshead? there's a whole

merchant's venture of Bourdeaux stuff in him; you have not seen a hulk

better stuffed in the hold. Come, I'll be friends with thee, Jack:

thou art going to the wars; and whether I shall ever see thee again or

no, there is nobody cares.

Could a weak empty vessel accommodate such a giant barrel?