The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (1095 page)

TROILUS.

Sirrah, walk off.

Sir, off you go.

Exit Boy

PANDARUS.

Have you seen my cousin?

Have you seen my cousin?

TROILUS.

No, Pandarus. I stalk about her door

Like a strange soul upon the Stygian banks

Staying for waftage. O, be thou my Charon,

And give me swift transportance to these fields

Where I may wallow in the lily beds

Propos'd for the deserver! O gentle Pandar,

From Cupid's shoulder pluck his painted wings,

And fly with me to Cressid!

No, Pandarus. I hang around her door

like a soul on the banks of the Styx

waiting to be carried over. You be my ferryman,

and grant me swift passage to the Elysian Fields

where I can wallow in the beds of lilies

which are promised to the deserving! Oh gentle Pandarus,

steal the painted wings from Cupid's shoulder,

and fly with me to Cressida!

PANDARUS.

Walk here i' th' orchard, I'll bring her straight.

Walk here in the orchard, I'll bring her at once.

Exit

TROILUS.

I am giddy; expectation whirls me round.

Th' imaginary relish is so sweet

That it enchants my sense; what will it be

When that the wat'ry palate tastes indeed

Love's thrice-repured nectar? Death, I fear me;

Swooning destruction; or some joy too fine,

Too subtle-potent, tun'd too sharp in sweetness,

For the capacity of my ruder powers.

I fear it much; and I do fear besides

That I shall lose distinction in my joys;

As doth a battle, when they charge on heaps

The enemy flying.

I am dizzy; hope is spinning around.

Just imagining what could happen is so sweet

that it enchants my senses; what will it be like

when our starved palates actually get a real taste

of the pure nectar of love? I fear death,

or fainting fits, from some joy too wonderful,

too subtle and powerful, too overwhelmingly sweet

for my rough soul to cope with.

I'm very afraid of that; and I also fear

that I shall lose the ability to tell one joy from another,

like in a battle, when they charge indiscriminately

on the fleeing enemy.

Re-enter PANDARUS

PANDARUS.

She's making her ready, she'll come straight; you must be

witty now. She does so blush, and fetches her wind so short, as

if she were fray'd with a sprite. I'll fetch her. It is the

prettiest villain; she fetches her breath as short as a new-ta'en

sparrow.

She's getting herself ready, she'll come at once; you must be

sparkling now. She blushes so much, and breathes so heavily, as

if she had seen a ghost. I'll get her. She is the

most charming wretch; she's panting like a newly captured

sparrow.

Exit

TROILUS.

Even such a passion doth embrace my bosom.

My heart beats thicker than a feverous pulse,

And all my powers do their bestowing lose,

Like vassalage at unawares encount'ring

The eye of majesty.

The same excitement fills my soul.

My heart is beating faster than a sick man's pulse,

and all my faculties have lost their powers,

like a humble subject who has unexpectedly

found the King is looking at him.

Re-enter PANDARUS With CRESSIDA

PANDARUS.

Come, come, what need you blush? Shame's a baby.-Here she

is now; swear the oaths now to her that you have sworn to me.-

What, are you gone again? You must be watch'd ere you be made

tame, must you? Come your ways, come your ways; an you draw

backward, we'll put you i' th' thills.-Why do you not speak to

her?-Come, draw this curtain and let's see your picture.

Alas the day, how loath you are to offend daylight! An 'twere

dark, you'd close sooner. So, so; rub on, and kiss the mistress.

How now, a kiss in fee-farm! Build there, carpenter; the air is

sweet. Nay, you shall fight your hearts out ere I part you. The

falcon as the tercel, for all the ducks i' th' river. Go to, go

to.

Come now, why are you blushing? You're not a baby.–Here he

is now; now swear the oaths to her that you have sworn to me.–

What, have you gone again? I have to keep my eye on you before you

become tame, is that it? Come on, come on; if you go

backwards, we'll put a harness on you.–Why don't you speak to

her?–Let's take this veil away and see your face.

How unhappy for the day, that you don't want to show your face in the light! If

it was dark you'd get to grips sooner. That's it, on you go, and kiss the mistress.

What's this, a kiss which claims the property! Build there, carpenter ; the air is

sweet. Well, you would tear your hearts out before I parted you. The female

is just as keen as the male, I'll bet anything. Go on, go on.

TROILUS.

You have bereft me of all words, lady.

You have stripped me of all words, lady.

PANDARUS.

Words pay no debts, give her deeds; but she'll bereave

you o' th' deeds too, if she call your activity in question.

What, billing again? Here's 'In witness whereof the parties

interchangeably.' Come in, come in; I'll go get a fire.

Words won't pay the rent, give her deeds; but she’ll strip you

of the deeds too, if she questions your manliness.

What, kissing again? Two parts of a single whole, clearly.

Come in, come in. I'll go and light the fire.

Exit

CRESSIDA.

Will you walk in, my lord?

Will you come in, my lord?

TROILUS.

O Cressid, how often have I wish'd me thus!

Oh Cressida, how often I've wished for this!

CRESSIDA.

Wish'd, my lord! The gods grant-O my lord!

Wished, my lord! The gods grant–oh my lord!

TROILUS.

What should they grant? What makes this pretty abruption?

What too curious dreg espies my sweet lady in the fountain of our

love?

What should they grant? What causes this sweet interruption?

What hidden dirt does my sweet lady see in the fountain of our

love?

CRESSIDA.

More dregs than water, if my fears have eyes.

More dirt than water, if my fears see correctly.

TROILUS.

Fears make devils of cherubims; they never see truly.

Fears make devils out of angels; they never see properly.

CRESSIDA.

Blind fear, that seeing reason leads, finds safer footing

than blind reason stumbling without fear. To fear the worst oft

cures the worse.

Blind fear, led by seeing reason, is on safer ground

than blind reason stumbling without fear. If you fear the worst,

you can often avoid it.

TROILUS.

O, let my lady apprehend no fear! In all Cupid's pageant

there is presented no monster.

Oh, don't let my lady be afraid! There's no such monster

in Cupid's plays.

CRESSIDA.

Nor nothing monstrous neither?

And nothing monstrous either?

TROILUS.

Nothing, but our undertakings when we vow to weep seas,

live in fire, eat rocks, tame tigers; thinking it harder for our

mistress to devise imposition enough than for us to undergo any

difficulty imposed. This is the monstruosity in love, lady, that

the will is infinite, and the execution confin'd; that the desire

is boundless, and the act a slave to limit.

Nothing, except our promises when we vow to weep seas,

live in fire, eat rocks, tame tigers; we think it's harder for our

mistress to invent difficult enough tasks for us rather than for us

to face any difficulty. This is the terrible thing in love, lady, that

desire is infinite, but exercising it has limitations; desire knows

no boundaries, but physically there are limits.

CRESSIDA.

They say all lovers swear more performance than they are

able, and yet reserve an ability that they never perform; vowing

more than the perfection of ten, and discharging less than the

tenth part of one. They that have the voice of lions and the act

of hares, are they not monsters?

They say all lovers promise to do more than they are

able, and yet they always hold something back; they promise

to be more perfect than ten men, but in practice they can't match

a tenth of one. People who roar like lions and act like hares,

aren't they monsters?

TROILUS.

Are there such? Such are not we. Praise us as we are

tasted, allow us as we prove; our head shall go bare till merit

crown it. No perfection in reversion shall have a praise in

present. We will not name desert before his birth; and, being

born, his addition shall be humble. Few words to fair faith:

Troilus shall be such to Cressid as what envy can say worst shall

be a mock for his truth; and what truth can speak truest not

truer than Troilus.

Are the people like that? I'm not. Give me my due praise according

to what you find; my head will be bare until you say it deserves

the crown. I don't ask for praise now for things I will do

in the future. I won't christen the baby before it's born, and when it is,

I shall be modest, I won't tempt fate. A few words to show the truth:

Troilus shall treat Cressida in such a way that the worst that the

envious could do would be to mock him for his fidelity; and the truest

speech of Truth himself will not be greater than the truth of Troilus.

CRESSIDA.

Will you walk in, my lord?

Will you come in, my lord?

Re-enter PANDARUS

PANDARUS.

What, blushing still? Have you not done talking yet?

What, blushing still? Haven't you done talking yet?

CRESSIDA.

Well, uncle, what folly I commit, I dedicate to you.

Well, uncle, whatever foolishness I get up to, I'll put it down to you.

PANDARUS.

I thank you for that; if my lord get a boy of you, you'll

give him me. Be true to my lord; if he flinch, chide me for it.

Thank you for that; if my lord gets you pregnant with a boy,

you'll give him to me. Be true to my lord; if he wavers, blame me for it.

TROILUS.

You know now your hostages: your uncle's word and my firm

faith.