The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (1094 page)

Go to, sweet queen, go to-commends himself most

affectionately to you-

Just a minute, sweet queen, just a minute–gives you his affectionate

greetings–

HELEN.

You shall not bob us out of our melody. If you do, our

melancholy upon your head!

You shan't cheat us of our song. If you do, our

sadness will be upon your head!

PANDARUS.

Sweet queen, sweet queen; that's a sweet queen, i' faith.

Sweet queen, sweet queen; you are a sweet queen, I swear.

HELEN.

And to make a sweet lady sad is a sour offence.

And to make a sweet lady sad is a sour offence.

PANDARUS.

Nay, that shall not serve your turn; that shall it not,

in truth, la. Nay, I care not for such words; no, no. -And, my

lord, he desires you that, if the King call for him at supper,

you will make his excuse.

No, that's not going to work; I should say not, definitely!

No, such talk can't affect me; no, no.–And, my

lord, he asks you that if the king asks where he is at supper,

you make an excuse for him.

HELEN.

My Lord Pandarus!

My Lord Pandarus!

PANDARUS.

What says my sweet queen, my very very sweet queen?

What's my sweet queen saying, my very very sweet queen?

PARIS.

What exploit's in hand? Where sups he to-night?

What is he playing at? Where is he eating tonight?

HELEN.

Nay, but, my lord-

No, but, my lord–

PANDARUS.

What says my sweet queen?-My cousin will fall out with

you.

What's my sweet queen saying?–Paris will be angry with you for interrupting.

HELEN.

You must not know where he sups.

He doesn't want you to know where he's eating.

PARIS.

I'll lay my life, with my disposer Cressida.

I'll bet my life he's eating with his mistress Cressida.

PANDARUS.

No, no, no such matter; you are wide. Come, your disposer

is sick.

No, no, nothing of the sort; you're wide of the mark. How could he,

Cressida is ill.

PARIS.

Well, I'll make's excuse.

Well, I'll make his excuses.

PANDARUS.

Ay, good my lord. Why should you say Cressida?

No, your poor disposer's sick.

Yes, my good lord. Why did you mention Cressida?

No, the poor girl is sick.

PARIS.

I spy.

I spy.

PANDARUS.

You spy! What do you spy?-Come, give me an instrument.

Now, sweet queen.

You spy! What do you spy? Come, give me an instrument.

Now, sweet queen.

HELEN.

Why, this is kindly done.

Well, thank you for agreeing.

PANDARUS.

My niece is horribly in love with a thing you have, sweet

queen.

My niece is desperately in love with something you have, sweet

queen.

HELEN.

She shall have it, my lord, if it be not my Lord Paris.

She shall have it, my lord, as long as it's not my Lord Paris.

PANDARUS.

He! No, she'll none of him; they two are twain.

Him! No, she doesn't want him; they have nothing in common.

HELEN.

Falling in, after falling out, may make them three.

Maybe after falling out they would make up, and then there might be three of them.

PANDARUS.

Come, come. I'll hear no more of this; I'll sing you a

song now.

Come along. No more of this talk; I'll sing you a

song now.

HELEN.

Ay, ay, prithee now. By my troth, sweet lord, thou hast a

fine forehead.

Yes, yes, now please. I swear, sweet lord, you have a

fine forehead.

PANDARUS.

Ay, you may, you may.

Get along with you.

HELEN.

Let thy song be love. 'This love will undo us all.' O Cupid,

Cupid, Cupid!

Sing a song about love. ‘This love will undo us all.’ Oh Cupid,

Cupid, Cupid!

PANDARUS.

Love! Ay, that it shall, i' faith.

Love! Yes, it certainly shall, I swear.

PARIS.

Ay, good now, love, love, nothing but love.

Yes, please, love, love, nothing but love.

PANDARUS.

In good troth, it begins so.

[Sings]

Love, love, nothing but love, still love, still more!

For, oh, love's bow

Shoots buck and doe;

The shaft confounds

Not that it wounds,

But tickles still the sore.

These lovers cry, O ho, they die!

Yet that which seems the wound to kill

Doth turn O ho! to ha! ha! he!

So dying love lives still.

O ho! a while, but ha! ha! ha!

O ho! groans out for ha! ha! ha!-hey ho!

Love, love, nothing but love, still love, still more!

For, oh, Cupid's arrow

hits the male and female;

the shaft overwhelms,

though it doesn't wound

it still tickles the gash.

And the lovers cry, ‘Oh! Oh!’, they die!

But what seems to be a fatal wound

then turns ' Oh! Oh!' To 'Ha, ha, he!'

So the love that was dying still lives.

‘Oh! Oh!’ for a while, but then ‘Ha, ha, ha!'

'Oh ho!' groans into 'Ha! Ha! Ha! Hey-ho!’

HELEN.

In love, i' faith, to the very tip of the nose.

I swear he's got love off to a T.

PARIS.

He eats nothing but doves, love; and that breeds hot blood,

and hot blood begets hot thoughts, and hot thoughts beget hot

deeds, and hot deeds is love.

He eats nothing but doves, love; and that gives him hot blood,

and hot blood gives him hot thoughts, and hot thoughts start hot

deeds, and hot deeds make love.

PANDARUS.

Is this the generation of love: hot blood, hot thoughts,

and hot deeds? Why, they are vipers. Is love a generation of

vipers? Sweet lord, who's a-field today?

Is this how love is made: hot blood, hot thoughts,

and hot deeds? Why, they are terrible things. Is love made of

terrible things? Sweet lord, who's gone to the battle today?

PARIS.

Hector, Deiphobus, Helenus, Antenor, and all the gallantry

of Troy. I would fain have arm'd to-day, but my Nell would not

have it so. How chance my brother Troilus went not?

Hector, Deiphobus, Helenus, Antenor, and all the gallant men

of Troy. I would have gone today myself, but Helen would not

let me. Why didn't my brother Troilus go?

HELEN.

He hangs the lip at something. You know all, Lord Pandarus.

He's sticking his lip out at something. You know everything, Lord Pandarus.

PANDARUS.

Not I, honey-sweet queen. I long to hear how they spend

to-day. You'll remember your brother's excuse?

I don't, honey sweet queen. I can't wait to hear how they spent

the day. You'll remember to give your brother's excuses?

PARIS.

To a hair.

Just as you said.

PANDARUS.

Farewell, sweet queen.

Farewell, sweet queen.

HELEN.

Commend me to your niece.

Give my best to your niece.

PANDARUS.

I will, sweet queen.

I will, sweet queen.

Exit. Sound a retreat

PARIS.

They're come from the field. Let us to Priam's hall

To greet the warriors. Sweet Helen, I must woo you

To help unarm our Hector. His stubborn buckles,

With these your white enchanting fingers touch'd,

Shall more obey than to the edge of steel

Or force of Greekish sinews; you shall do more

Than all the island kings-disarm great Hector.

They've come from the field. Let's go to Priam's hall

to greet the warriors. Sweet Helen, I must ask you

if you would help take our Hector's armour off. His stubborn buckles,

touched with your enchanting white fingers,

will come off more easily than when attacked with swords

or Greek strength; you will do more

than all the kings of Greece can do
-
disarm great Hector.

HELEN.

'Twill make us proud to be his servant, Paris;

Yea, what he shall receive of us in duty

Gives us more palm in beauty than we have,

Yea, overshines ourself.

I will be proud to be his servant, Paris;

the duty I shall do him

will give me more credit than I have for my beauty,

it will make me greater.

PARIS.

Sweet, above thought I love thee.

Dearest, I love you more than you can imagine.

Exeunt

Enter PANDARUS and TROILUS' BOY, meeting

PANDARUS.

How now! Where's thy master? At my cousin Cressida's?

Hello there! Where's your master? At my cousin Cressida's?

BOY.

No, sir; he stays for you to conduct him thither.

No, sir; he's waiting for you to take him there.

Enter TROILUS

PANDARUS.

O, here he comes. How now, how now!

Oh, here he comes. Hello there, hello!