The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (1092 page)

AGAMEMNON.

No, noble Ajax; you are as strong, as valiant, as wise,

no less noble, much more gentle, and altogether more tractable.

No, noble Ajax; you are just as strong, as brave, as wise,

no less noble, much more gentle, and much more obedient.

AJAX.

Why should a man be proud? How doth pride grow? I know not

what pride is.

Why should a man be proud?What makes him proud?I don't know

what pride is.

AGAMEMNON.

Your mind is the clearer, Ajax, and your virtues the

fairer. He that is proud eats up himself. Pride is his own glass,

his own trumpet, his own chronicle; and whatever praises itself

but in the deed devours the deed in the praise.

Your mind is clearer, Ajax, and your virtues are

better.The proud man consumes himself.His pride is his own mirror,

blows his own trumpet, writes his own praise; and anything that praises

itself destroys the good thing it's done by doing so.

Re-enter ULYSSES

AJAX.

I do hate a proud man as I do hate the engend'ring of toads.

I hate a proud man just as I hate toad spawn.

NESTOR.

[Aside] And yet he loves himself: is't not strange?

And yet he loves himself, isn't that strange?

ULYSSES.

Achilles will not to the field to-morrow.

Achilles will not fight tomorrow.

AGAMEMNON.

What's his excuse?

What's his excuse?

ULYSSES.

He doth rely on none;

But carries on the stream of his dispose,

Without observance or respect of any,

In will peculiar and in self-admission.

He gives none;

he's just carrying on as before,

taking no notice of, and giving no respect to, anyone else,

just following whatever his ego wants.

AGAMEMNON.

Why will he not, upon our fair request,

Untent his person and share the air with us?

Why won't he, when we've asked politely,

come out of his tent and talk with us?

ULYSSES.

Things small as nothing, for request's sake only,

He makes important; possess'd he is with greatness,

And speaks not to himself but with a pride

That quarrels at self-breath. Imagin'd worth

Holds in his blood such swol'n and hot discourse

That 'twixt his mental and his active parts

Kingdom'd Achilles in commotion rages,

And batters down himself. What should I say?

He is so plaguy proud that the death tokens of it

Cry 'No recovery.'

He makes a great issue out of tiny things,

just because they've been asked; he's obsessed with his own greatness,

and can't even talk to himself without starting

an argument.His high opinion of himself

has fired him up so much

that his mind and body

are having a civil war with each other,

tearing him to bits.What can I say?

He is so plagued with pride that the symptoms

of it say he won't recover.

AGAMEMNON.

Let Ajax go to him.

Dear lord, go you and greet him in his tent.

'Tis said he holds you well; and will be led

At your request a little from himself.

Let Ajax speak to him.

Dear lord, you go and greet him in his tent.

They say he thinks well of you; perhaps he'll

soften his attitude if you ask him to.

ULYSSES.

O Agamemnon, let it not be so!

We'll consecrate the steps that Ajax makes

When they go from Achilles. Shall the proud lord

That bastes his arrogance with his own seam

And never suffers matter of the world

Enter his thoughts, save such as doth revolve

And ruminate himself-shall he be worshipp'd

Of that we hold an idol more than he?

No, this thrice-worthy and right valiant lord

Shall not so stale his palm, nobly acquir'd,

Nor, by my will, assubjugate his merit,

As amply titled as Achilles is,

By going to Achilles.

That were to enlard his fat-already pride,

And add more coals to Cancer when he burns

With entertaining great Hyperion.

This lord go to him! Jupiter forbid,

And say in thunder 'Achilles go to him.'

Oh Agamemnon, don't do this!

We'd rather worship Ajax for staying away from

Achilles.Should the proud lord

who roasts in the fat of his own arrogance

and never allows anybody else to

enter his thoughts, unless it's some matter

which revolves around himself - should someone we think

is far greater bow down to him?

No, this triply-worthy and truly brave lord

shouldn't tarnish his honour, which was bravely won,

and I don't want him to debase himself,

however great Achilles is,

by going to Achilles.

That would add more lard to his already greasy pride,

and add fire to the heat of summer.

To say this lord should go to him!Jupiter forbid,

and he should thunder out, "Achilles should come to him."

NESTOR.

[Aside] O, this is well! He rubs the vein of him.

Ah, this is good!He's encouraging what he already thinks.

DIOMEDES.

[Aside] And how his silence drinks up this applause!

And how that's shown in his silence!

AJAX.

If I go to him, with my armed fist I'll pash him o'er the

face.

If I go to see him I'll smash him in the face with my

mailed fist.

AGAMEMNON.

O, no, you shall not go.

Oh, no, you shan't go.

AJAX.

An 'a be proud with me I'll pheeze his pride.

Let me go to him.

And if he starts being arrogant with me I'll sort his pride out.

Let me go to him.

ULYSSES.

Not for the worth that hangs upon our quarrel.

Not for everything we've spent on this war.

AJAX.

A paltry, insolent fellow!

A shabby, insolent fellow!

NESTOR.

[Aside] How he describes himself!

He's describing himself!

AJAX.

Can he not be sociable?

Can't he be friendly?

ULYSSES.

[Aside] The raven chides blackness.

The pot calls the kettle black.

AJAX.

I'll let his humours blood.

I'll treat his moods with a bloodletting.

AGAMEMNON.

[Aside] He will be the physician that should be the

patient.

He wants to be the doctor when he should be the patient.

AJAX.

An all men were a my mind-

If all men thought like me-

ULYSSES.

[Aside] Wit would be out of fashion.

There's be no brains anywhere.

AJAX.

'A should not bear it so, 'a should eat swords first.

Shall pride carry it?

He wouldn't get away with this, he would eat my sword first.

Should pride get away with this?

NESTOR.

[Aside] An 'twould, you'd carry half.

If it did, you'd be carrying half of it.

ULYSSES.

[Aside] 'A would have ten shares.

He'd take the lot.

AJAX.

I will knead him, I'll make him supple.

I'll knead him like dough, I'll soften him up.

NESTOR.

[Aside] He's not yet through warm. Force him with praises;

pour in, pour in; his ambition is dry.

He's not yet cooked.Make him rise with praises;

pour them in to him; his ambition is dry.

ULYSSES.

[To AGAMEMNON] My lord, you feed too much on this dislike.

My lord, you're thinking too much about Achilles' behaviour.

NESTOR.

Our noble general, do not do so.

Our noble general, don't do so.

DIOMEDES.

You must prepare to fight without Achilles.

You must prepare to fight without Achilles.

ULYSSES.

Why 'tis this naming of him does him harm.

Here is a man-but 'tis before his face;

I will be silent.

It's thinking we can't do without him that causes the mischief.

There's a man here- but I can't speak about him

in front of his face.

NESTOR.

Wherefore should you so?

He is not emulous, as Achilles is.

Why should you?

He's not greedy for praise like Achilles.

ULYSSES.

Know the whole world, he is as valiant.

The whole world knows he's just as brave.

AJAX.

A whoreson dog, that shall palter with us thus!

Would he were a Troyan!

A son of a bitch, who thinks he can mess us about!

I wish he was a Trojan!

NESTOR.

What a vice were it in Ajax now-

What a vice it would be if Ajax now-

ULYSSES.

If he were proud.

If he was proud.

DIOMEDES.

Or covetous of praise.

Or desperate for praise.

ULYSSES.

Ay, or surly borne.

Yes, or with a bad attitude.

DIOMEDES.

Or strange, or self-affected.

Or haughty, or conceited.

ULYSSES.

Thank the heavens, lord, thou art of sweet composure.

Praise him that gat thee, she that gave thee suck;

Fam'd be thy tutor, and thy parts of nature

Thrice-fam'd beyond, beyond all erudition;

But he that disciplin'd thine arms to fight-

Let Mars divide eternity in twain

And give him half; and, for thy vigour,

Bull-bearing Milo his addition yield

To sinewy Ajax. I will not praise thy wisdom,

Which, like a bourn, a pale, a shore, confines

Thy spacious and dilated parts. Here's Nestor,

Instructed by the antiquary times-

He must, he is, he cannot but be wise;

But pardon, father Nestor, were your days

As green as Ajax' and your brain so temper'd,

You should not have the eminence of him,

But be as Ajax.