The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (1073 page)

He's too like his father to ever be any good.

Hang the child first, so he can see it die-

a sight to torment a father's soul.

Get me a ladder.

AARON.

Lucius, save the child,

And bear it from me to the Emperess.

If thou do this, I'll show thee wondrous things

That highly may advantage thee to hear;

If thou wilt not, befall what may befall,

I'll speak no more but 'Vengeance rot you all!'

Lucius, spare the child,

and carry it from me to the Empress.

If you do this, I'll tell you amazing things,

that will be greatly to your advantage;

if you won't, whatever happens

all I'll say will be, "May you all rot in hell!"

LUCIUS.

Say on; an if it please me which thou speak'st,

Thy child shall live, and I will see it nourish'd.

Carry on; if I'm pleased with what you say,

your child shall live, and I will treat it well.

AARON.

An if it please thee! Why, assure thee, Lucius,

'Twill vex thy soul to hear what I shall speak;

For I must talk of murders, rapes, and massacres,

Acts of black night, abominable deeds,

Complots of mischief, treason, villainies,

Ruthful to hear, yet piteously perform'd;

And this shall all be buried in my death,

Unless thou swear to me my child shall live.

If you're pleased!I can assure you, Lucius,

that it will torture your soul to hear what I have to say;

I have to tell you about murders, rapes and massacres,

devilish acts, horrible deeds,

mischievous plots, treason, villainy,

sad to hear of, but inspiring pity;

and all this will go with me to the grave,

unless you swear to me my child shall live.

LUCIUS.

Tell on thy mind; I say thy child shall live.

Say what you know; I say your child shall live.

AARON.

Swear that he shall, and then I will begin.

Swear that he will, and I'll begin.

LUCIUS.

Who should I swear by? Thou believest no god;

That granted, how canst thou believe an oath?

Who should I swear by?You don't believe in any god;

given that, how can you believe in any oath?

AARON.

What if I do not? as indeed I do not;

Yet, for I know thou art religious

And hast a thing within thee called conscience,

With twenty popish tricks and ceremonies

Which I have seen thee careful to observe,

Therefore I urge thy oath. For that I know

An idiot holds his bauble for a god,

And keeps the oath which by that god he swears,

To that I'll urge him. Therefore thou shalt vow

By that same god- what god soe'er it be

That thou adorest and hast in reverence-

To save my boy, to nourish and bring him up;

Or else I will discover nought to thee.

So what if I don't?I certainly don't;

but I know that you are religious,

and have that thing called conscience inside you.

I've seen you carefully carry out

lots of different forms of worship,

and so I ask you to swear.If I know that

an idiot worships a stick,

and keeps his promise when he swears by that god,

I'll ask him to do it.So you will promise

by that god - whatever god it may be -

that you worship and adore -

to save my boy, to feed him and raise him;

otherwise I'll tell you nothing.

LUCIUS.

Even by my god I swear to thee I will.

I swear by my god that I will.

AARON.

First know thou, I begot him on the Empress.

Firstly you should know, I fathered him with the Empress.

LUCIUS.

O most insatiate and luxurious woman!

Oh, what an insatiable and lecherous woman!

AARON.

Tut, Lucius, this was but a deed of charity

To that which thou shalt hear of me anon.

'Twas her two sons that murdered Bassianus;

They cut thy sister's tongue, and ravish'd her,

And cut her hands, and trimm'd her as thou sawest.

Tut, Lucius, that would seem like a charitable deed

compared to what you'll hear from me soon.

It was her two sons who murdered Bassanius;

they cut your sister's tongue out, and raped her,

and cut her hands off, pruning her as you saw.

LUCIUS.

O detestable villain! Call'st thou that trimming?

You horrible villain!You call that pruning?

AARON.

Why, she was wash'd, and cut, and trimm'd, and 'twas

Trim sport for them which had the doing of it.

Well, she was, washed, cut and pruned, and it was

good fun for the ones who did it.

LUCIUS.

O barbarous beastly villains like thyself!

Barbarous beastly villains like you!

AARON.

Indeed, I was their tutor to instruct them.

That codding spirit had they from their mother,

As sure a card as ever won the set;

That bloody mind, I think, they learn'd of me,

As true a dog as ever fought at head.

Well, let my deeds be witness of my worth.

I train'd thy brethren to that guileful hole

Where the dead corpse of Bassianus lay;

I wrote the letter that thy father found,

And hid the gold within that letter mention'd,

Confederate with the Queen and her two sons;

And what not done, that thou hast cause to rue,

Wherein I had no stroke of mischief in it?

I play'd the cheater for thy father's hand,

And, when I had it, drew myself apart

And almost broke my heart with extreme laughter.

I pried me through the crevice of a wall,

When, for his hand, he had his two sons' heads;

Beheld his tears, and laugh'd so heartily

That both mine eyes were rainy like to his;

And when I told the Empress of this sport,

She swooned almost at my pleasing tale,

And for my tidings gave me twenty kisses.

That's right, I was the one who taught them.

They got their lecherous spirit from their mother,

she guaranteed they would be like that;

their murderousness they learned from me, I think,

as good a dog as ever attacked head on.

Well, let my deeds show what I'm worth.

I enticed your brothers to that evil pit

where the dead corpse of Bassanius lay;

I wrote the letter which your father found,

and hid the gold that was mentioned in that letter,

as part of a plot with the Queen and her two sons;

is there anything which has caused you pain

which I didn't have a wicked hand in?

I played the trick which won your father's hand,

and, when I won it, I drew aside

and almost burst my heart laughing.

I spied through a crack in a wall

when he got his two sons' heads in exchange;

I saw his tears and laughed so much

that both my eyes were full of tears like his;

and when I told the empress of this fun,

she almost fainted with pleasure at the story,

and gave me twenty kisses for the news.

GOTH.

What, canst thou say all this and never blush?

What, can you say all this and not blush?

AARON.

Ay, like a black dog, as the saying is.

Yes, like a black dog, as the saying has it.

LUCIUS.

Art thou not sorry for these heinous deeds?

Aren't you sorry for the bad things you've done?

AARON.

Ay, that I had not done a thousand more.

Even now I curse the day- and yet, I think,

Few come within the compass of my curse-

Wherein I did not some notorious ill;

As kill a man, or else devise his death;

Ravish a maid, or plot the way to do it;

Accuse some innocent, and forswear myself;

Set deadly enmity between two friends;

Make poor men's cattle break their necks;

Set fire on barns and hay-stacks in the night,

And bid the owners quench them with their tears.

Oft have I digg'd up dead men from their graves,

And set them upright at their dear friends' door

Even when their sorrows almost was forgot,

And on their skins, as on the bark of trees,

Have with my knife carved in Roman letters

'Let not your sorrow die, though I am dead.'

Tut, I have done a thousand dreadful things

As willingly as one would kill a fly;

And nothing grieves me heartily indeed

But that I cannot do ten thousand more.

Yes, I'm sorry I hadn't done a thousand things more.

Even now I curse any day - although I think

that there were very few I had to curse -

when I didn't do some terrible wrong;

like killing a man, or plotting his death;

raping a girl, or planning how to do it;

accusing some innocent person, and perjuring myself;

starting a deadly quarrel between two friends;

making poor men's cattle break their necks;

setting barns and haystacks on fire at night,

and telling the owners to put the fire out with their tears.

I've often dug dead men up from their graves,

and stood them up at their dear family's door

when they had almost got over their loss,

and on their skins, like on the bark of trees,

I've carved, in Roman script, with my knife,

"Don't let your sorrow die, even though I'm dead."

Tcha, I have done a thousand dreadful things,

as easily as one would kill a fly;

nothing makes me so sad

that I can't do another thousand.

LUCIUS.

Bring down the devil, for he must not die

So sweet a death as hanging presently.

Bring the devil down, for he must not die

such an easy death as instant hanging.

AARON.

If there be devils, would I were a devil,

To live and burn in everlasting fire,

So I might have your company in hell

But to torment you with my bitter tongue!

If there are devils, I wish I was a devil,

to live and burn in eternal flames,

so I could have you with me in hell,

just to torture you with my bitter tongue!

LUCIUS.

Sirs, stop his mouth, and let him speak no more.

Enter AEMILIUS

Sirs, gag him, don't let him say anything else.

GOTH.

My lord, there is a messenger from Rome

Desires to be admitted to your presence.

My lord, there is a messenger from Rome