The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (1005 page)

To move is to stir; and to be valiant is to stand: therefore, if thou art moved, thou runn'st away.

Sampson

I will never run away from a Montague: I will take him down, and if he is not careful, his wife, too.

A dog of that house shall move me to stand: I will take the wall of any man or maid of Montague's.

Gregory

That shows what an idiot you are, to prey on the weakest of the Montagues.

That shows thee a weak slave; for the weakest goes to the wall.

Sampson

I will push the Montagues into a fight and make their women watch.

True; and therefore women, being the weaker vessels, are ever thrust to the wall: therefore I will push Montague's men from the wall and thrust his maids to the wall.

Gregory

This is not our fight!  This war is between our masters.

The quarrel is between our masters and us their men.

Sampson

It’s all for one and one for all.  I will kill all of the Montagues, both women and men.

'Tis all one, I will show myself a tyrant: when I have fought with the men I will be cruel with the maids, I will cut off their heads.

Gregory

Why the women?

The heads of the maids?

Sampson

Well, maybe not kill them; only make them wish they were dead.  If you know what I mean?

Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads; take it in what sense thou wilt.

Gregory

Yes, I know what you mean.  But I doubt the women will.

They must take it in sense that feel it.

Sampson

Oh, they’ll know what I mean, when I stand over them with my “weapon” exposed.

Me they shall feel while I am able to stand: and 'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh.

Gregory

(Referring to Sampson’s genitals.)  More like, you standing over them with a limp noodle.  Draw your weapon, two from the house of Montague approach.

'Tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou hadst been poor-John.--Draw thy tool; Here comes two of the house of Montagues.

Sampson

I have my sword.  Start an argument and I’ll back you up.

My naked weapon is out: quarrel! I will back thee.

Gregory

How will you back me up?  Turn your back on me and run?

How! turn thy back and run?

Sampson

Quit worrying.

Fear me not.

Gregory

No, you wimp.  I will fear fighting with you as my partner.

No, marry; I fear thee!

Sampson

Fine then.  Let’s be law-abiding citizens.  Let them pass and see if they will start with us.

Let us take the law of our sides; let them begin.

Gregory

I will stare them down as they pass by, and let them take it as they wish.

I will frown as I pass by; and let them take it as they list.

Sampson

You mean, as they dare.  I will flip them off and see what they do.  If they ignore me, we know they are cowards.

Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them; which is disgrace to them if they bear it.

(Enter Abraham and Balthasar.)

Abraham

Did you just flip me off?

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

Sampson

Uhhh…I did point my middle finger skyward.

I do bite my thumb, sir.

Abraham

I said, “Did YOU just flip me off?”

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

Sampson

(To Gregory)  Am I still abiding the law, if I say yes?

Is the law of our side if I say ay?

Gregory

I don’t think so.

No.

Sampson

No sir, I was just pointing my middle finger towards the sky.

No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir; but I bite my thumb, sir.

Gregory

Are you trying to start a fight, sir?

Do you quarrel, sir?

Abraham

A fight, sir?  No sir!

Quarrel, sir! no, sir.

Sampson

Well, if you want a fight.  I am your man.  My master is just as good as yours.

But if you do, sir, am for you: I serve as good a man as you.

Abraham

But, not better than mine.

No better.

Sampson

Well…

Well, sir.

Gregory

Say yes.  Here comes one of our master’s relatives.

Say better; here comes one of my master's kinsmen.

Sampson

Yes, Mr. Montague is better than your master.

Yes, better, sir.

Abraham

Liar!

You lie.

Sampson

Then we will fight!  Remember Gregory, you are a better fighter than me.

Draw, if you be men.--Gregory, remember thy swashing blow.

(They fight.)

(Enter Benvolio.)

Benvolio

What is going on here?  Put away your weapons, fools.  You don’t know what you are doing.

Part, fools! put up your swords; you know not what you do.

(Beats down their weapons with his sword.)

(Enter Tybalt.)

Tybalt

Are you using your sword against these weak men?  Turn around, Benvolio, and use it against someone as strong as you, if you dare.

What, art thou drawn among these heartless hinds? Turn thee Benvolio, look upon thy death.

Benvolio

I am only trying to break up their fight.  So, put up your sword or use it to help me.

I do but keep the peace: put up thy sword, Or manage it to part these men with me.

Tybalt

Right, you expect me to believe you, a peacekeeper?
 
I hate the word, peace, as I hate hell, all Montagues, and YOU.
 
Fight, you coward!

What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee: Have at thee, coward!

(They fight.)

(Enter several members of both families, who join in.  Then, enter Citizens with clubs.)

Citizens

Everyone, draw your clubs, swords, spears.

Beat them down.

Down with the Capulets.

Down with the Montagues.

Clubs, bills, and partisans!

Strike! beat them down!

Down with the Capulets!

Down with the Montagues!

(Enter Capulet in his gown, with Lady Capulet.)

Capulet

What is going on here?  Someone hand me my sword.

What noise is this?--Give me my long sword, ho!

Lady Capulet

A weapon, a weapon?  Why do you need your sword?

A crutch, a crutch!--Why call you for a sword?

Capulet

Give me my sword.  Here comes Old Montague with a weapon drawn.

My sword, I say!--Old Montague is come, And flourishes his blade in spite of me.

(Enter Montague with Lady Montague.)

Montague

My enemy, Capulet!  Let me at him.  Don’t hold me back.

Thou villain Capulet!-- Hold me not, let me go.

Lady Montague

You are not going anywhere.  (Holding onto Montague.)

Thou shalt not stir one foot to seek a foe.

(Enter the Prince and his Attendants.)

Prince

Stop you criminals, enemies of peace, cowards who use weapons to settle your disputes and beasts who seek the blood of your enemies to solve your problems.  I’ll have you arrested and punished, if you don’t listen to me.  Put down you weapons and listen.  Three times, you have fought over senseless words. You, Capulet, and you, Montague, have disturbed the peace three times.  And, the Citizens of Verona have had to stop you.  If you ever fight again, you will pay with your lives.  Everyone go back to your businesses or go home.  Capulet, you come with me.  And, Montague, you come this afternoon.  I am going to get to the bottom of this feud.  This is your last chance.  Now go!

Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace, Profaners of this neighbour-stained steel,-- Will they not hear?--What, ho! you men, you beasts, That quench the fire of your pernicious rage With purple fountains issuing from your veins,-- On pain of torture, from those bloody hands Throw your mistemper'd weapons to the ground And hear the sentence of your moved prince.-- Three civil brawls, bred of an airy word, By thee, old Capulet, and Montague, Have thrice disturb'd the quiet of our streets; And made Verona's ancient citizens Cast by their grave beseeming ornaments, To wield old partisans, in hands as old, Canker'd with peace, to part your canker'd hate: If ever you disturb our streets again, Your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace. For this time, all the rest depart away:-- You, Capulet, shall go along with me;-- And, Montague, come you this afternoon, To know our farther pleasure in this case, To old Free-town, our common judgment-place.-- Once more, on pain of death, all men depart.

(Exit Prince, Attendants, Capulet, Lady Capulet, Tybalt, Citizens, and Servants.)

Montague

Who started this fight?  Did you see what happened, Benvolio?

Who set this ancient quarrel new abroach?-- Speak, nephew, were you by when it began?

Benvolio

All I saw was your servants fighting two of the Capulet servants.  I tried to break them apart and that arrogant Tybalt showed up.  He was getting ready to kill me.  He took a swing at me with his sword, but missed.  I wasn’t about to stand there and be killed, so I defended myself.  Then, the prince showed up and broke us apart.

Here were the servants of your adversary And yours, close fighting ere I did approach: I drew to part them: in the instant came The fiery Tybalt, with his sword prepar'd; Which, as he breath'd defiance to my ears, He swung about his head, and cut the winds, Who, nothing hurt withal, hiss'd him in scorn: While we were interchanging thrusts and blows, Came more and more, and fought on part and part, Till the prince came, who parted either part.

Lady Montague

Oh, where is Romeo?  Have you seen him today?  I am so glad he was not there.

O, where is Romeo?--saw you him to-day?-- Right glad I am he was not at this fray.

Benvolio

I saw him early this morning while on a walk to clear my head.  He was underneath the grove of sycamore trees, growing on the west side of the city.  When he saw me, he took off into the woods.  I didn’t go after him, because I thought he must have wanted to be alone.

Madam, an hour before the worshipp'd sun Peer'd forth the golden window of the east, A troubled mind drave me to walk abroad; Where,--underneath the grove of sycamore That westward rooteth from the city's side,-- So early walking did I see your son: Towards him I made; but he was ware of me, And stole into the covert of the wood: I, measuring his affections by my own,-- That most are busied when they're most alone,-- Pursu'd my humour, not pursuing his, And gladly shunn'd who gladly fled from me.

Montague

He has been seen many times in that place, crying and depressed.  As soon as he gets home, he locks himself up in his bedroom, where he draws the curtains and stays in the dark.  He must be in a bad mood and need counseling.

Many a morning hath he there been seen, With tears augmenting the fresh morning's dew, Adding to clouds more clouds with his deep sighs: But all so soon as the all-cheering sun Should in the farthest east begin to draw The shady curtains from Aurora's bed, Away from light steals home my heavy son, And private in his chamber pens himself; Shuts up his windows, locks fair daylight out And makes himself an artificial night: Black and portentous must this humour prove, Unless good counsel may the cause remove.

Benvolio
Do you know why he is depressed?
My noble uncle, do you know the cause?

Montague

I don’t know, nor do I know how to go about finding the reason for his depression.

I neither know it nor can learn of him.

Benvolio

Have you tried to make him tell you?

Have you importun'd him by any means?

Montague

I have, and many of our friends have tried.  He stays to himself and keeps his secrets close.  It is like he is being eaten up inside.  We would do anything to help him, if we only knew what was wrong.