The Click Trilogy (27 page)
Authors: Lisa Becker
First off, she ordered a salad for lunch. I know, Shel, you can’t stand that whole healthy-eating thing. Right off the bat, she’d have a strike against her. But she didn’t
just
order a salad. She said it like she was meditating and this was her mantra. “I’ll just have a salad. I’ll just have a salad. Ohhhm.” It was weird.
Next, she talked nonstop about how she believes homeopathic remedies can cure everything from pimples to cancer.
Oh, and here’s the kicker. She has four cats. Their names are Samantha, Carrie, Miranda and – you guessed it – Charlotte. You would have DIED!
From: Ashley Price – June 12, 2012 – 8:59 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
Wow! She sounds…interesting. Kind of sorry I missed that train wreck. But I’m sure Mark thinks the cat names are clever. As long as he’s happy, right?
From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 9:15 AM
To: Ashley Price
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
I’m about to piss my pants I’m laughing so hard! She sounds as awful as I knew she would be. Yes, I’m thrilled that I’m out of town. But I love hearing the stories. So are you going to tell Mark to give her the ol’ heave-ho?
From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 11:12 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
No. I’m not. Mark really likes her and it’s been forever and a day since he’s been in a relationship where he’s happy. I say, to each his own. If he wants to date a cat-loving, salad-eating, holiopathic (that’s someone who takes a holier-than-thou attitude toward the homeopathic – like it?) girl, then so be it.
From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 11:15 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
Holiopathic? Hilarithetic! (Something so pathetic, it’s hilarious.)
From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 11:15 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
Hilarithetic? Me or her?
From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 11:16 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
Her, Sweetie, her!
From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 11:17 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
Whew! Love it!
From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 11:18 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
Love it right back atcha, sister!
From: cassidy – June 13, 2012 – 3:02 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: fun!
it was fun having lunch yesterday. we should do it again soon.
h’s & k’s,
cassidy
From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 3:04 PM
To: cassidy
Bcc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: fun!
It was fun, Cassidy. Thanks for asking me out. Yes, we will have to do it again.
From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 4:02 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: fun!
You will “have to” do it again. Do you mean you won’t be able to stop yourself from spending more time with her, or you will be compelled to spend time with her out of duty and loyalty to Finlay? My bet is on the latter.
From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 4:04 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: fun!
LOL! Okay, seriously, behave! Mark likes her so we need to like her, too.
From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 4:08 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: fun!
So I was right. It is the latter.
From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 4:09 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: fun!
A little of both, okay? So be nice.
From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 4:09 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: fun!
You’re no fun. Or, as Cassidy would say, “your no fun.”
From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 4:10 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: fun!
Again, LOL! And behave!
From: cassidy – June 16, 2012 – 1:13 PM
To:
Subject: Fwd: Cats on Parade!
super cute video. enjoy!
h’s & k’s,
cassidy
From: Ashley Gordon – June 16, 2012 – 2:22 PM
To:
Subject: Email address change
Please note that I have a new email address. It’s the same as before, but Ashley Gordon instead of Ashley Price. Please be sure to add it to your address book. Thank you.
From: Shelley Manning – June 16, 2012 – 3:56 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Fwd: Cats on Parade!
WTF?!? I just read something on Facebook about how even the calendar says WTF after Tuesday. HA-LARIOUS! Seriously, the calendar must have been copied on this insipid video about cats. So, again WTF?!?
From: Renee Greene – June 16, 2012 – 4:06 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Cats on Parade!
That’s actually quite clever. Me like!
And insipid? Fancy word. Me like this too!
Honestly, I find these things to be creepy and useless. But apparently she loves cats. Easy enough to delete and move on.
From: Shelley Manning – June 16, 2012 – 4:08 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Cats on Parade!
I don’t think I can erase this from my brain. Wish I could delete her!
From: Renee Greene – June 16, 2012 – 4:09 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Cats on Parade!
You’re too much.
From: Shelley Manning – June 16, 2012 – 4:10 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Cats on Parade!
No, I’m just enough.
From: Renee Greene – June 19, 2012 – 9:04 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: UNACCEPTABLE!
I love our email chatting and all, but I miss hearing your voice. I don’t remember the last time I heard it. Honestly, this fact saddens me. I know you are busy, but I long for your company. How can we remedy this?
From: Shelley Manning – June 19, 2012 – 9:12 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: UNACCEPTABLE!
My goodness. You certainly sound desperate. I’m flattered…and a little bit horrified.
Seriously, I know I’ve been über busy lately and I miss you tons, too.
I’m in Seattle right now. Can we make a plan to meet at Mel’s on Friday?
From: Renee Greene – June 19, 2012 – 9:16 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: UNACCEPTABLE!
Yes! I will be there and will longingly await, with bated breath (that expression was first coined by Shakespeare in
The Merchant of Venice
, FYI), for your arrival. (HA! Figured you could use a bit more “flattered…and horrified” before we sign off.)
From: Shelley Manning – June 19, 2012 – 9:18 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: UNACCEPTABLE!
Thanks. I’ll carry that around in my heart until we see each other in a few days.
From: Renee Greene – June 19, 2012 – 9:19 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: UNACCEPTABLE!
Ew! Now
I’m
a little horrified. That really
is
creepy. ;)
From: Shelley Manning – June 19, 2012 – 9:20 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: UNACCEPTABLE!
You started it! Mwah! Mwah!
From: Renee Greene – June 22, 2012 – 3:02 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Well…..
Well?!? Are you having a boy or a girl? Inquiring minds want to know.
From: Ashley Gordon – June 22, 2012 – 4:45 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Well…..
We decided we want to be surprised.
From: Renee Greene – June 22, 2012 – 5:06 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Well…..
Say what?!? Last time, my sweet angel had his/her legs crossed so they couldn’t tell. You were prepared to find out then. What changed?
And anyway, wouldn’t it have been a surprise for you today when the doctor told you? How am I supposed to start buying things to spoil little baby Gordon if I don’t know if he’s a he or she’s a she? And what about Mark? How will he handle the next four and a half months of not knowing? How will you pick a name? Are you mad woman? Mad?
From: Ashley Gordon – June 22, 2012 – 5:30 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Well…..
While not my intention, it’s pretty funny to know it’s kind of bugging you. You and Mark will just have to deal with not knowing. Greg really wants it to be a surprise when the baby is born. As far as names go, we’re going to come up with a boy option and a girl option.
From: Renee Greene – June 22, 2012 – 5:32 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Well…..
UGH! You’re killing me, lady.
From: Ashley Gordon – June 22, 2012 – 5:33 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Well…..
LOL! Gotta run. Getting out of here on time on a Friday…for once.
From: Renee Greene – June 22, 2012 – 5:35 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Fwd: Re: Well…..
UGH! Ashley and Greg have decided to be surprised with the baby’s gender at the birth. They’ll “plan” by having some girl and boy names picked out in advance. They’re killing me.
From: PBCupLover – June 22, 2012 – 5:46 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Well…..
Really? She seems like the type of person who would want to know so she can plan everything and make it perfect. No offense. You know I like Ashley. But I really hope this kid has a thick skin. Regardless, I think I can have a little fun with her. Stay tuned.
From: Renee Greene – June 22, 2012 – 5:52 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Well…..
What are you going to do? You won’t be able to mess with her. She’s too smart to fall for your foolery. I’m heading home now. Will I see you soon?
From: PBCupLover – June 22, 2012 – 5:58 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Well…..
Oh really. I think my foolery will work just fine. Wait and see. As far as my ETA tonight, I would say around 9ish. Go ahead and grab some dinner without me. I will order some takeout here.
From: PBCupLover – June 25, 2012 – 7:32 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Bcc: Renee Greene
Subject: Baby Names
Hey Ashley. Hope you are feeling well. Renee mentioned that you guys were trying to come up with some boy and girl names since you aren’t finding out the sex of the baby before it’s born.
I’ll start brainstorming some boy name suggestions and then move onto the girls. Stay tuned.
From: cassidy – June 25, 2012 – 8:09 AM
To:
Subject: Fwd: Funny Cats
this one had me laughing out loud.
h’s & k’s,
cassidy
From: Ashley Gordon – June 25, 2012 – 9:20 AM
To: PBCupLover
Bcc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Baby Names
Ethan, that is so sweet of you. Thanks. I’ll look forward to seeing what you come up with.
From: Ashley Gordon – June 25, 2012 – 9:21 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Re: Baby Names
Renee: Ethan is brainstorming baby names for us. What a total sweetie!
From: PBCupLover – June 25, 2012 – 11:02 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Bcc: Renee Greene
Subject: Baby Name Number 1
Name him Cash and then his nickname could be Loose Change.
From: Ashley Gordon – June 25, 2012 – 11:03 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Baby Name Number 1
Is he serious?
From: Renee Greene – June 25, 2012 – 11:04 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Fwd: Baby Name Number 1
Oh yes. Very.
From: PBCupLover – June 25, 2012 – 1:43 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Bcc: Renee Greene
Subject: Baby Name Number 2
Or, name him Branch, and have his nickname be Little Twig.
From: Ashley Gordon – June 25, 2012 – 1:45 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Baby Name Number 2
I’m starting to worry about him!
From: PBCupLover – June 25, 2012 – 4:43 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Bcc: Renee Greene
Subject: Baby Name Number 3
Name him Runner and his nickname could be Dash.
From: Ashley Gordon – June 25, 2012 – 4:46 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Baby Name Number 3
Okay, either he’s joking or the man’s a freak. I hope for your sake he’s joking.
From: Renee Greene – June 25, 2012 – 5:38 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Fwd: Baby Name Number 3
Ha! HA! HA!!! I’ve been getting bcc’d on all of his suggestions. Hilarious! Yes, he’s kidding. I told him how devastated I was with having to wait to find out if my sweet angel would be a he or a she, and he said he’d mess with you a little bit.
From: Ashley Gordon – June 25, 2012 – 5:49 PM
To: PBCupLover
Bcc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Baby Name Number 3
All right. All right. I
know
you are kidding. So now we can just stop this horrible email chain. You’ve already ruined Branch, Cash and Dash for me. Don’t want to taint any other potential names.
From: PBCupLover – June 25, 2012 – 5:53 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Bcc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Baby Name Number 3
Thank goodness. I was running out of ideas. Back to work!
From: Renee Greene – June 25, 2012 – 6:02 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Baby Name Number 3
HA! You really had her going there for a while. Well done! I’m leaving the office in about a half hour. Hungry?
From: PBCupLover – June 25, 2012 – 6:08 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Baby Name Number 3
Told ya so. Don’t mess with the master. I’ve got a few more hours of research to do, so I will grab something here. Now seriously, back to work.
From: Renee Greene – June 27, 2012 – 8:27 AM
To: Mark Finlay, cassidy
Cc: PBCupLover
Subject: Saturday Night
Hey guys. We will see you at Martin Paul’s Bistro at 7:30 on Saturday night. Then hoping we can head over to Flint’s and hang with some cocktails. We look forward to seeing you.
From: Renee Greene – June 27, 2012 – 8:31 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Fwd: Saturday Night
As you can see from below, Ethan, Mark, Cassidy and I are having dinner on Saturday followed by drinks at Flint’s. You are welcome to join for any or all. Just let me know so I can up the dinner reservation as needed.
From: Mark Finlay – June 27, 2012 – 9:45AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Saturday Night
Thanks, Renee. Cass and I are looking forward to it as well. Although it is really unnecessary. I was happy to recommend Ethan for the job. And I must say, I’m so glad that you and Cass are becoming friends. You’re both really important to me. Thanks for making the effort.
From: Renee Greene – June 27, 2012 – 9:53 AM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Saturday Night
We certainly want to thank you properly for helping Ethan get this great opportunity. And you don’t need to thank me for befriending your girlfriend. She’s now part of the family. Lord help her! ;)
From: cassidy – June 27, 2012 – 1:32 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Saturday Night
thanks renee. so excited to hang out with you and ethan. see you saturday.
h’s & k’s,
cassidy
From: Shelley Manning – June 28, 2012 – 9:22 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Fwd: Saturday Night
Dinner with Finnidy? (That’s my nickname for them as a couple.) I’ll pass. But I may stop by for a drink. I’m sure with enough booze in me, I can deal with anything.
From: Renee Greene – June 28, 2012 – 9:26 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Fwd: Saturday Night
I do recall a certain time when booze helped you cozy up to part of Finnidy, no?
From: Shelley Manning – June 28, 2012 – 9:27AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Fwd: Saturday Night
You had to go there, didn’t you?
From: Renee Greene – June 28, 2012 – 9:28 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Fwd: Saturday Night
Couldn’t resist. See you Saturday.
From: Ashley Gordon – June 28, 2012 – 3:24 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Saturday Night
Thanks for the invite, Renee, but I think I have to pass. I’m exhausted. I came home from work yesterday and Greg had the gall to tell me that he was tired. I screamed, “I’m growing a kidney today. So you make dinner!” YIKES! I think the pregnancy hormones are really wreaking havoc on me.
From: Shelley Manning – June 28, 2012 – 3:42 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Saturday Night
You sure those are just the pregnancy hormones, Ash?
From: Ashley Gordon – June 28, 2012 – 4:12 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Saturday Night
Come to think of it, I have been spending a lot of time with you these past few years. Maybe the bitchiness is rubbing off on me.
From: Shelley Manning – June 28, 2012 – 4:23 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Saturday Night
Oh snap! I like the pregnant Ashley. Way to go, girl!
From: Renee Greene – July 2, 2012 – 8:54 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: A plague on both your houses?
Yes, another Shakespeare quote. This one addresses what I (and likely everyone else within sight lines) perceived to be your reaction at seeing Mark and Cassidy so “lovey dovey” with each other at Flint’s. Am I wrong?