The Breakup Mix (33 page)

I grinned at Katie. “You were right.”

She smiled. “Called it.”

We approached the man and introduced ourselves. He showed us to the limo, took our luggage, and opened the door to the back seat. Inside, Chance, Dani, and Alissa screamed, “Surprise!” They crawled out of the limo and buried us in group hugs. I choked back my tears as Chance embraced me. “How ya doing, kiddo?”

I nodded and whispered, “I’m so glad to see you.”

She pulled away from me and looked me up and down. She whistled. “Ladies, get a load of our Michelle Hot-Mama!”

“Oh I love your hair!” Alissa said. “And look at this body. Wow, Michelle, well done.”

Dani took my hand. “You look lovely. It’s so great to see you.”

We crawled into the limo and twittered like birds in a nest. Katie and I marveled over Alissa’s perfect basketball belly and listened as they told the same story from three different perspectives. It was just like old times and the fastest forty-five-minute drive I’d ever experienced.

The house. Wow. I didn’t get to fully appreciate the outside since it was dark, but when I heard the ocean, I dropped my bags. I looked at Katie and grinned. We peeled out of our shoes and took off running down the boardwalk. We didn’t stop until our feet were sinking into the Gulf of Mexico. I stared at the dancing waves illuminated by the moonlight and was spellbound by the soft sounds of surf. I couldn’t wait to see the ocean in daylight. I turned to Chance and whispered, “This is the first time I’ve seen the ocean.”

She linked her arm with mine. “Then I’m so glad I got to be here when you saw it, sister. Isn’t it amazing? Wait till you see it from our balcony.”

I looked at her. “Why the hell do we live in Missouri?”

She laughed. “I’ve asked myself that same question daily since we arrived, honey.”

I turned to look at the house and whistled. “Damn, she did it up right.”

“As usual,” she said. “The inside is beautiful. But I spend most of my time out here.” She looked at the ocean again and sighed. “It’s just so peaceful.”

I read that look on her face and felt my stomach drop. Tony’s ghost had followed her here. I watched Katie, Dani, and Alissa on the porch waiting like soldiers on post for us to come up. I yelled, “Katie, are you already done out here?”

She gestured to the house. “Do you see this thing? I sure want to see what’s inside. Come on!”

I grinned at Chance who said, “Come on. We’ve got time for all of it.”

We were a little parade of Missourians admiring the incredible house chosen by Alissa. The three of them had acclimated well to the extravagant house and were comfortable—as well they should be. Katie and I kept locking eyes, and I knew she was thinking the same thing I was. There’s no way I’d ever be comfortable living in a house this luxurious. I carried my suitcase to Chance’s room and whistled. “Damn, girl. This is amazing.”

She admired the room with me. “You get used to it. It took a few days to stop tiptoeing everywhere and washing my hands fifty thousand times a day.”

I chuckled and took a deep breath. “I don’t know how you’d ever get used to this.”

She shrugged. “It’s overwhelming at first, for real.”

I looked over my shoulder when I heard Katie gasping down the hall. “They’ve found more rooms.”

Chance smiled. “The other rooms are both impressive in their own ways. But that’s what hooked me.” She pointed to the double doors that led to the balcony. “Come on.” She grabbed my hand and led me through them. Once again, I was spellbound by the view of the ocean through the palm trees. Solar lights illuminated the boardwalk and reminded me of the fairy garden I’d always wanted. Chance said, “You’re going to love this at sunset.”

“I still can’t believe this morning I woke up in frigid Columbia and will go to bed in warm Naples.”

“Gotta love modern transportation. How are things, honey? You good?”

I shrugged and smiled. “I’m great right now.”

She tugged at my arm. “Now is good enough for me. Come on, let’s go see what the others are doing.”

We settled into our seats in the living room and took turns giving the five-minute overview of the last three months of our lives. Thanks to texting, Facebook, and Skype, we’d really never had much of a break in communication. But it was fun to hear the details often missed during quick chats. Once we’d covered the basics, the Q/A began.

I started. “Alissa, how’ve you been feeling?”

She smiled and rubbed her belly. “Like I’m pregnant with a street fighter.”

I laughed. “Gibson was like that. I swore that kid was leaving bruises inside.”

Dani chimed in, “He kicks hard! When he’s really active, we wad up a tissue and see how far he can kick it off her stomach.”

Alissa beamed, “He’s done a pretty good job. Might have a future in the NFL.”

Dani faked a shiver. “Oh goodness, I hope not. I really hope he’s a book worm and plays piano.”

We all laughed, and Katie said, “You’ll be surprised when he starts playing sports. Some kind of internal killer mode kicks into place, and the next thing you know, you’re rooting for your kid to draw blood.”

I hitched a thumb at Katie. “True story. She went to one of Gibson’s football games and yelled, ‘Kill that kid, Gibson.’”

Katie buried her head in her hands. “That’s not what I meant at all. It just slipped out.”

I said, “Yeah, you’ve spent too much time watching games with Landon.”

Alissa changed the subject and asked, “How’s things at home with Brandon, now?”

I nodded. “Things are good. We still have some rocky days, but overall, I think things are good. I think he’s going to live.” I winked.

Chance asked, “Did you guys do anything special for your birthday last week?”

I shrugged. “No, not really. The kids were super cute and made me a cake, and I got gift cards, so that was a plus.”

Dani asked, “Are you still liking the instructor gig?”

“I absolutely love it. I teach three classes a day. I’m definitely getting my workouts.”

Alissa grinned. “I’m so glad your membership worked out like this. I can’t get over how awesome you look.”

I blushed. “It’s been fun to feel the transformation.”

We stayed up way too late and by the time I hit the sheets, I could barely keep my eyes open. I fell asleep listening to Chance talking about things we could do tomorrow and have no idea what she said.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

No Surprise

Alissa

I snuck out of bed and drew the curtains so Katie could sleep later. I slipped past Dani’s room and hightailed it to the downstairs bathroom before I peed down both legs. If Dani heard the toilet flush upstairs, she’d be out of bed in no time to make sure I was okay. And she’s never been one to go back to bed.

I grabbed a glass of orange juice and headed out to the beach to begin my morning routine of watching the world and feeling my baby wake up. In six short weeks, this would all be over, and my heart would be forever broken. At the recommendation of my therapist (who I called a few months ago in the midst of a full-blown meltdown), I’ve designated one part of my day to sit with my feelings, embrace them, and then move on with my day. I picked early morning. I tossed my blanket on the beach and began my routine.

I rubbed my belly and whispered, “You are so loved, little guy. More than anything, I want you to know I made this decision to save you. I just don’t have good luck, and I don’t want to drag you into my insanity. Chances are I’ll fall in love again shortly after you’re born, then he’ll bolt. And it will happen again a few years later, and he’ll figure out something he doesn’t like about me, or worse, you, and I can’t put you through that.

“Dani is so full of love for you already. She can’t wait to meet you, hold you in her arms, kiss your sweet face, and give you a stability that I’m unable to provide. She’ll be such a good mother to you, little guy. Just know that the day I hand you over, I’ll die a little inside.”

I wiped my face and watched the first peep of the sun as it illuminated the watery horizon. I started my chant, “Out with the sadness, in with peace. Out with sadness, in with peace.” I patterned my breathing to match the words and smiled at my progress. The first several weeks, I couldn’t say the words, “out with sadness,” through my sobs. Maybe my therapist is worth a damn after all. To say she didn’t support my decision to give up my baby is an understatement. She could see my point just didn’t agree with my logic. Seemed like semantics to me. I finished my catharsis and started my walk down the beach, the best part of my day. The first morning on the beach, I found a perfect seashell and put it in a glass bowl on the dresser in my room. Every morning, I search for one perfect seashell to add to the collection, which will go in the baby’s room in Missouri. Dani’s already promised me she’ll keep it. I say a special prayer of blessing over my baby’s life and wish for something different every day. Sometimes I tell a story of my pregnancy and envision the story attaching itself to the shell to be whispered to him in his sleep. It makes me feel better—less forgotten.

By the time I found the shell of the day, the full sun was smiling its good morning to me, the baby was kicking, and it was time to go in the house and let Dani feel him punch and wiggle. Watching her face is bittersweet, especially since she cries nearly every time he moves. I often tease her and ask which one of us is experiencing the pregnancy hormones most. I still think it’s me. Totally me. I’m just a better actress.

Katie stood on the beach near my blanket with a cup of coffee and look of awe. “Pretty amazing, huh?”

She gasped. “It’s breathtaking, Lis. My God, will you look at that?”

I walked up to her and shared the view. “I get to do this every morning, and it never looks the same or gets old.”

“How will you ever be satisfied living in Columbia after this?”

I sighed. “I’ve thought the same thing a million times.”

She looked at me. “You
are
coming back, right?”

I smiled. “Yes, I’m coming back.”

She studied my face longer than I wanted. “Lis . . .”

I cut her off. “Don’t, Katie. Don’t say it. It’s the right thing to do. For everyone involved.”

She sighed. “Okay. I still . . . well, anyway. What are we going to do today?”

I gestured to the ocean and asked, “What more could you want?”

She giggled. “That’s perfectly fine with me. I could be a beach bunny and be perfectly content. It’s just unusual for you not to have a full itinerary in place.”

I shrugged. “Sometimes slowing down and enjoying the moment has its perks.”

“Florida looks good on you, Lis. I mean that.”

I grinned. “And I make Florida look fabulous. Even with this big ol’ belly.”

“Oh it’s such a cute belly, too,” she laughed.

“I have to go in. Stay out here as long as you want. We’re not going anywhere unless you guys decide to.”

“Okay, I’ll be in shortly. I want to sit out there and drink my coffee.”

“I totally understand.”

I walked up the boardwalk, washed my feet, and headed into the house to find Dani. She wiped the counters then moved to stir something on the stove. “Smells good, wifey.”

She turned and grinned. “Thanks. It’s a new recipe, an egg scramble something something. I thought we’d use the breakfast nook this morning and let Katie enjoy the view. What do you think?”

“I think that sounds great, but don’t count on Michelle or Chance. You know they’re probably up there spooning.”

Dani laughed. “I highly doubt that.”

Michelle walked down the stairs. “I heard that, bitch. And we weren’t spooning, we were trying on each other’s clothes and putting on makeup.”

I said, “Okay, now I know you’re lying. Chance hasn’t worn makeup before eight since we got here.”

Michelle padded to the coffee pot and inhaled. “Hello, my sweet, Colombian lover.”

Dani pulled a cup out of the cabinet and handed her the sugar bowl. Michelle waved it off. “No sugar for me, thanks.”

Dani blinked. “You’ve always put sugar in your coffee.”

Michelle smiled. “Yeah, and I carried those sweet little calories around in fat rolls like the caffeinated trophies they were. I still use creamer though. Can’t lose all the luxuries in life.”

Dani pointed to the refrigerator. “Take your pick. We have a whole collection thanks to Chance.”

Michelle asked, “What are you cooking? That smells fantastic.”

I answered. “It’s an egg scramble something something Dani found online.” Dani turned and pointed the wooden spoon at me. I laughed. “Hey, I was just quoting you. I’m sure that’s the technical name for it.”

Dani shook her head. “We’re going to call it the Dani Surprise. How’s that?” She winked at Michelle and spooned the meal into four dishes. She left some in the skillet in case Chance made an appearance. I said, “If she isn’t down by the time we’re done eating, it’s mine.”

Dani waved. “At that point it will be fair game. I’m going to go ask Katie if she wants to join us.”

Michelle and I grabbed our bowls and drinks then headed into the breakfast nook. Michelle whistled. “Man, this place just gets better and better.” She chose a seat facing the windows and bounced up and down in the chair. “Comfy. Love this big, round table, too. Nice touch.”

“I’m telling ya, they thought of everything.”

She shoveled a bite into her mouth. “I don’t even want to know how much this cost a month.”

I chuckled. “Your table manners are phenomenal.”

She flipped me the bird and wiped her mouth. “Does it have a workout room?”

I frowned and sat back in my chair. “No, actually, I don’t think it does. Wait, does the indoor pool count?”

Michelle laughed. “Yes, I suppose I’ll have to make do with that.” She rolled her eyes.

“It doesn’t get much use, honestly. We spend so much time on the beach, it seems silly to swim inside.”

“You’ll have to give me the grand tour outside after breakfast.”

Katie squealed when she and Dani walked into the nook. “Isn’t this the coolest room ever? I think I’d spend most of my time in here. This is so amazing.” She touched the tropical plants that lined the glass walls and stared at the waves. “I don’t know how you’d ever be satisfied living anywhere else after this.”

Dani hummed. “It’s going to be a huge adjustment, that’s for sure. I spend a lot of time in here. It’s funny; we all have our little places. Alissa likes a blanket on the beach, Chance likes her balcony, and I like this room. But, we all know I’ve never been fond of sweating.”

We laughed as they took their seats and started eating. Katie asked, “So how’s Chance doing with the whole Tony thing?”

I cleared my throat. “Well? She has good days and better days. She’s going to be fine, though.”

“Has she heard from him?” Katie asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t think so. And she’d tell me if she did, so I’m going to say a confident no.”

Michelle asked, “So is the plan still for you guys to come home May thirtieth?”

Dani took the reins on this one. The eternal planner. And I thought I was bad. “That’s all going to depend on Alissa’s recovery. But if she goes early, we could always leave early.”

“What if she’s late?” Katie asked.

“Oh she’s not going to be late,” Dani said. “If we don’t have any action by the fourth, we’re looking at induction.”

Michelle laughed. “That doesn’t surprise me at all.”

“We have a schedule to keep, ya know.” I smiled and tapped my wrist.

Dani winced. “Ouch.”

I rubbed her hand. “Oh, now, I didn’t mean that to be mean. We’ve always teased you.”

She smiled, but I knew I’d pricked a wound. She looked at Michelle. “She can’t go too much past the fourth because we have to be out of the house by the thirtieth. It’s already rented for the rest of the summer.” She glanced at me then focused on her breakfast.

Katie saw the tension and went into smooth-it-over mode. “Well, I think you are both handling this very well. I know Alissa’s fully aware of the move-out date, and I know Dani is sympathetic to the situation, and the doctors will make the best decision based off Alissa’s progress at the time. We just need to make sure the little fellow is fully cooked before he comes out of the oven.”

Michelle asked, “Any progress on the name?”

I groaned. “No, we can’t find one we agree on. I like modern; she likes traditional.”

Michelle shrugged. “Okay, split the difference. One of you pick the first name and the other pick the middle name.”

I stared at Michelle and wondered marveled at her intermittent genius streak. I grinned at Dani. “I can’t believe we never thought of that.”

Dani laughed. “Me neither.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Okay, but who picks what?”

She gave me an evil grin. “Either way, I win, because I can always call him what I want.”

I yelled, “Doh! I’ll never best you.”

She giggled and did a fist pump. “Yes!”

Katie gaped at Dani. “Did you just do a fist pump? I’ve never seen that from you ever.”

“These two are wearing off on me.”

“Okay, traditional names,” Michelle said. “Well obviously, Daniel is out. That’s just too weird having two people in the house with the same name.”

Katie cut her off, “Because you know people will call him Danny.”

I said, “Yes, but that could be handy. Call out one name and two people come running.”

Dani shook her head. “No, Daniel was eliminated in round one. I’ll grab my journal and tell you what I’ve considered.” She stood and took her and Katie’s plate to the kitchen. Michelle and I were nearing a serious game of rock/paper/scissors to see who got Chance’s portion if she didn’t make it down in time. She had ten minutes to appear. Dani reappeared with her journal and a pen and flipped to the back. “Dang, I’m almost out of paper in this thing.”

Katie asked, “Damn, girl, have you written a play-by-play action while you’re here?”

Dani smiled. “No, I just wanted to make sure to document our vacation and the baby’s progress.” She shrugged. “It’s been fun. Okay, so the names that have made it to the final round are—”

Michelle pounded on the table. “Drumroll, please.”

Dani read her list: “Jacob, Isaac, Nathan, Leland, Joel, and Elliot.”

Michelle mimicked her best E.T. voice. “Elliot . . .”

I laughed. “Right? Every time I hear that name, I think of that little alien and Drew Barrymore.”

Katie said, “Isaac’s a little too . . .symbolic. Let’s scratch that one.”

I frowned and asked, “Why?” I saw Michelle and Katie exchange glances and bite their lips. “What’s the story with Isaac?”

Michelle pointed to Katie, “You’re better at the bible stuff than me. I’ll probably mess the whole thing up and tell her Isaac was the dude in the lion’s den.”

Katie laughed. “You’re safe. That was Daniel, and that name’s been scratched already.” She cleared her throat and looked at me. “Isaac was the first son—a miracle child born to Abraham and Sarah. They were like, old. One hundred, nineties, something like that.”

“In their nineties? Go Abraham.”

Katie put her face in her hands. “Oh lord, no, you can’t make sexual jokes about Abraham. That’s just . . . wow.” She chuckled. “Okay, so when Isaac was still a boy, I always pictured him being like twelve, I don’t know why. Anyway, God tells Abraham to take Isaac up the mountain and sacrifice him.” I felt my stomach drop. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Katie continued, “Don’t worry, he doesn’t kill him. God grabs Abraham’s hand before he can kill him and praises him for his willingness to be faithful.”