The Breakup Mix (31 page)

I finished my business and washed my hands. I smoothed my hair and patted at my eyeliner hoping I’d see Mr. HotBod in the hallway again. I glanced down at my bulging belly and snickered at the absurdity of it all. I whispered in the mirror, “Hi, I’m Alissa. I’m carrying the baby of a failed relationship, but would you like to go out sometime?” I rolled my eyes and walked back to the room with my eyes trained on the floor. As my hand reached the doorknob, another man approached me. “Ms. Franklin?”

“Yes?”

He extended his hand. “I’m Dr. DeMario.”

I smiled and sighed with relief. “Oh thank God. Would you like to step into my office?”

He laughed. “You’re stealing my lines already. After you.” He held the door open for me and greeted Dani. “Mrs. Miscato, it’s nice to meet you.”

Dani corrected him, “It’s Ms., now. I’m recently divorced.”

He nodded. “Sorry to hear that. Been there. It’s tough.” He clapped his hands. “Okay, Ms. Franklin, let’s get down to business.” He flipped through my chart. “I don’t see that you had a morphology prior to leaving Missouri.” He looked up at my blank face and smiled. “The big ultrasound looking at all of the body structures in the baby.”

“Oh, no, I haven’t had an ultrasound since the very first one when I found out I was pregnant.”

He grinned. “Well, today is your lucky day. Would you like to see your baby?”

I glanced up at him and smiled, but he was looking at Dani. Of course. I asked, “Do I need to remove my clothes?”

He smiled. “If you’re wearing elastic waistbands, we might be okay.”

I laughed. “Oh honey, I don’t wear elastic waistband anything. Except yoga pants.”

He smiled. “Well, your life is about to change.” He held my gaze longer than I’d expected. He was boyishly cute with cavernous dimples on each cheek and didn’t look a day over forty.

A day over forty.

When did I start judging men’s ages at forty? Probably when I turned thirty-four and forbade anyone handsome to be younger than me.

I snapped out of it and looked at him. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

He looked sideways at me and repeated, “You’re in excellent shape, and obviously take care of yourself, so you may not experience the same discomfort in pregnancy that others do.”

I looked at Dani who raised an eyebrow and smirked but left it at that.

He said, “Go ahead and lean back and get comfortable. I’m going to listen to the baby’s heartbeat, and then we’ll do an ultrasound.”

I stared at the tiles in the ceiling and asked, “Why don’t doctors put fun pictures on the ceilings in examination rooms?”

He slipped a stethoscope from his pocket. “Probably because we never think about it. We’re always looking at patients not ceilings.”

“Well someone should think about it.”

“I’ll be sure to pass the word.” He slipped the stethoscope in his ears and slid it around my belly. “How far along are you?”

“Twenty-three weeks, I think.”

Dani said, “Twenty-four, Lis.”

I looked at the doctor. “Twenty-
four
weeks, Dr. DeMario.”

He chuckled. “Moms are good about keeping track of that.” He gave Dani thumbs up.

Ouch. Damn.

He finished his examination and turned to the ultrasound machine. “Let’s see if the baby will show us something.”

He rolled the instrument over my stomach, and the image of a growing baby appeared on screen. Dani slid next to me and grabbed my hand. “Look, Lis, there’s the baby.” Perfectly rounded little head, little hands, little fingers . . . precious.

The doctor said, “Everything looks good. Do you want to know what you’re having?”

Dani and I looked at each other in shock. We’d never discussed if we wanted to find out the gender. Her eyes grew as wide as her smile. “What do you think?”

I breathed, “Hell yes, I want to know!”

She looked at the doctor. “What is it?”

He moved the instrument a few more times and pointed to the screen. “That is a very proud little boy.”

Relief poured out of me in waves of laughter. A boy. It’s a boy. The curse has been broken. Fuck you, Mom. It’s a boy, and he’s going to be fine and normal and perfect and unburdened by the female curse in our family. I buried my face in my hands as my laughter turned to tears and sobs replaced my guffaw. Dani rubbed my hand. “Shhh, it’s okay, Lis.”

Dr. DeMario quizzically looked from Dani to me and back. “Is there something I’m missing?”

I pointed to Dani and let her take the lead on the lie. “We had a bet . . . nothing, never mind.”

“A boy,” I whispered. Thank You, God. Thank You, Thank You.

“A boy,” Dani repeated.

The rest of the appointment was a blur to me. They gave Dani instructions for my glucose screening, made my follow-up appointment, and I followed behind like a lost-but-found puppy. The mid-morning Florida sun matched the glow I felt inside. A boy. I grinned and looked at Dani. “It’s a boy, Dani.”

She smiled and handed me my purse. “Yes it is, Lis.”

I dug for my keys. “Holy shit, we need to celebrate. Call Chance and tell her to get ready.”

Chapter Thirty-Six

Against the Wind

Chance

Two weeks. Two weeks of sleeping ‘til I’m ready to wake up—uninhibited by schedules, alarm clocks, appointments, interviews, or responsibility. I could get used to this. As much as I wanted this lap of luxury, it was a little lumpy at first. I’m definitely the flexible one in the bunch, but even I was having trouble peeling off the layers of “be-here-go-there-now” life. Alissa had a head start on us, though, since she quit her job well before Dani and me.

I spent my mornings walking the beach with Chubs, drinking coffee in my favorite spot and staring at the waves of the ocean. Dani and Alissa respected my need for alone time in the mornings and let me be. We all had our “Saturday morning” routine back home, and each of us slipped into that then came back together after ten o’clock every day. When I was alone on the beach, I thought of Tony. It’s funny—this is where I was intending to forget him, yet he was everywhere I looked. His chuckle lapped with the waves, his sighs mixed with the wind, and his eyelashes blinked with the feathery clouds. I accepted this on day three and welcomed his presence in my morning routine. He really would love it here—he’s always wanted to vacation in Florida.

Correction: he wanted a honeymoon in Florida. The first time he mentioned it, I laughed ‘til I cried. We’d been lying in my bedroom. It was a bitter cold day, so we stayed under my down-filled comforter naked all day and only got up to pee and eat. You can’t eat in my bed. Just . . . no. Or pee for that matter.

It was like a scene out of a perfect romance movie. My grey walls created a soft background lit up by the snowstorm outside. His head was buried in my pillow—the blankets pulled up to his chin, and all I could see was the right side of his face. I stared at the day-old stubble on his cheek, the contour of his cheekbone and jaw line. He was pure perfection wrapped in human skin. Every time he opened his eye to look at me, my stomach flopped and I grinned. It became a game.

He opened his eye again. “How many times are you going to do that?”

I smiled. “What?”

“Smile just because I look at you.”

I made a mad face. “Is this better?”

He laughed. “No, but I think I just wet myself.”

I smiled. “What were you thinking about?”

He looked at me. “Want me to tell you the truth?”

I leaned up and put my head on my hand. “Of course. This oughta be good.”

He sighed and rolled onto his back. “I was thinking about our honeymoon.”

My heart paused then slammed against my chest. “Our what?”

He glanced at me and grinned. “You heard me.”

I chuckled. “Okay, I’ll play along. Where are we?” I rolled onto my back and closed my eyes. “Set the scene.”

He took a deep breath and curled up next to me. He slid his head onto my pillow, his arm across my stomach, and whispered, “It’s eighty-two degrees outside. You’re stunning in a white bikini that barely covers your tan breasts. . .”

I mumbled, “Ain’t no way in hell I’m ever wearing a white bikini . . .”

“Hush. It’s my fantasy.”

I bit my lips and waved him on. He continued to rub circles on my stomach. The blood in my veins matched his rhythm as my chest swelled with anticipation. I curled my toes and took a deep breath to calm the hell down. His hand slid down my hip and across my thigh. I gritted my teeth to keep from pouncing. He whispered, “The palm trees swoon in the ocean’s breath.” He pulled the comforter from my chest and huffed his hot breath between my breasts—his chin stubble grazed my nipple and a whimper escaped my throat.

“Not nice,” I breathed.

He chuckled. “You’re lying on a beach chair slicked with the tanning oil I’ve rubbed all over your body.” His hands moved over my skin, up my body, and across my cheek. “God, you’re beautiful.”

I swallowed hard and asked, “Where is this magical place?”

He leaned into my ear and slowly whispered, “Florida.”

A hundred tropical majesties had appeared in my mind—Tahiti, Jamaica, but Florida was unexpected. I burst into laughter and the harder I tried to quit, the harder I laughed. I glanced at his face then laughed harder at his confusion. I tried to speak, but words wouldn’t form. He chuckled and asked, “Why is that funny?”

I wiped my eyes and waved him off. “I . . . I don’t know.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and curled against his chest as the laughter poured out. He laughed with me and from that day forward, we had a one-word inside joke that instantly sent both of us into hysterics—“Florida.”

I sat on the sand and ran my hand through the grains just like I used to run my hand through his patch of chest hair. I wrote “Florida” in the sand with my finger and sighed. Now I see why he wanted to vacation here. Well, one of us made it at least. I squinted against the wind and pinched back the tingle in my nose. No more tears. I grabbed my coffee cup and whistled for Chubs. He abandoned his post just this side of the wet sand and ran to me. I picked him up, shook the sand off his feet, and kissed his head. “My sweet boy.” I rinsed my feet and padded into the house to shower and wait for Alissa and Dani to return.

I really thought when I came to Florida, I’d have so many distractions and fun things to do I’d have no time to think about Tony. Or our failed relationship. Or my part in that. But mostly Tony. I decided today was the last day I would allow myself to think about him at all. I could practice Alissa’s tried-and-true methods of avoidance and eventually reprogram my mind to consider thoughts of Tony to be added calories. For every minute I thought of him, I’d convince myself I’d gain a pound. Yes, that will work. Today I’ll binge on thoughts of him, but tomorrow he’ll be cut from my mental diet. No tears though. No more tears.

I was ten minutes deep into The Breakup Mix playlist and covered in body wash when Dani’s ringtone cut the music and interrupted my Tony memory buffet. Dread took the place of annoyance. This must be bad. I slipped out of the shower, suds and all, and grabbed the phone. “Dani?”

She giggled. “Don’t sound so worried. We’re ten minutes out. Alissa wants you to be ready to roll when we get there.”

I took a deep breath. “Sure, is she okay?”

“Oh yes, she’s fine. See you in a bit.”

I sat the phone down and finished my shower in record time. Dani sounded way too happy, so there must be good news in there somewhere. Maybe it’s twins. I shuddered with the thought and looked at Chubs. “What do you think, Chubs? Think they’ve been drinking without me?” I dressed and dried my hair enough to make it look like I didn’t just jump out of the shower before twisting it up in a loose bun. Two soft curls fell and framed my face. Tony loved it when I wore my hair up—he liked to twirl his fingers in those very curls that bounced beside my face. God, that man adored me, and I blew it. I finished my makeup and headed downstairs to wait on the deck for whatever that carload of crazy was bringing my way.

Exactly ten minutes later, Alissa and Dani walked up all grins and chattering like squirrels. I studied Alissa’s eyes—the telltale window to her soul and found euphoria. I raised my eyebrows and grinned. “Good news today?”

Alissa climbed the stairs and threw her arms around me. “It’s a boy, Chance. He’s a boy. Like, not a girl.”

I hugged her and laughed. “Well yeah, that’s usually what a boy means. Oh, thank God.” I hugged her tighter and whispered, “That’s great, Alissa.”

She nodded but didn’t speak as she pulled away from me. “Let’s celebrate!”

I waved my hands across my body. “I’m ready for anything. Where to?”

She grabbed my hand and handed me the keys. “Everywhere. We’ve got shopping to do.”

A boy. She’s having a boy. The curse is broken, and before me stood my friend. She reappeared before me as though God Himself had draped an Alissa cloth over her and stripped away the anxious woman she’d become. We drove through Naples singing at the top of our lungs and laughing when someone flubbed the words. We Googled every baby shop in Naples and didn’t give two shits when I turned on the wrong road and ended up on a one-way street. Even Dani was laughing and seemed to be her old self again. If these two could do it, so could I. The countdown to being Tony-free was on.

We walked through charming boutiques and oogled over extremely overpriced clothing while loading our arms with the must-have items for a child that we wouldn’t even meet for at least fourteen more weeks.

I tossed Alissa’s bags in the trunk of the Navigator. “Um, this trunk was pretty packed on the way down here. How are we going to fit all this in here and a baby?”

“We’re going to strap you to the luggage rack,” Alissa said. “We already talked about it.”

“Oh nice. I’ll be the figurehead of the highway.”

Dani laughed. “Yes, but you’ll be so pretty with your flowing hair.”

I pointed at her. “I’ll look much prettier on a flight.”

Alissa laughed. “I figured I’d ship a bunch of stuff home a few weeks before we leave so it will be there when we get back.” She looked at me. “Chubs won’t mind FedEx, right?”

“Ha-ha, very funny. I’m starving. Anyone else hungry?”

Dani faked a faint. “Dear God, feed me before I implode.”

Alissa raised her hand. “Count me in for two for lunch.”

We decided on Olive Garden—hardly Florida ethnic, but we all wanted soup, salad, and breadsticks. When Dani excused herself to the bathroom, I swooped in on Alissa. “Okay, we have four minutes. Spill it.”

She smiled. “It’s a boy, Chance. I feel like I could fly to the moon and back shouting to the heavens how grateful I am that this baby isn’t a girl.”

“I know that part, but what about the rest?”

Alissa patted my hand. “We’ll talk about all that later. Right now, we celebrate the breaking of my family’s curse.”

I’ve always admired Alissa’s ability to turn her emotions on and off like a light switch. One little flip and she just quits feeling. She’s the queen of being able to enjoy a moment and not allow anything else to interfere with that little sliver of time when she’s happy. I could learn a lot from her. But not today. Tomorrow. We’ll work on that tomorrow when I start my Tony detox. I looked at her. “Today is the last day I’m going to think about Tony.”

She sipped her water. “Think you’ll be able to pull that off?”

I shrugged. “Sure. You can do it, so I can too.” I smiled and picked up my glass. “Cheers. Here’s to new starts all around.”

Dani returned to the table and asked, “Did I just miss a toast?”

I smiled and lifted my glass. “I’m toasting to new starts. Tomorrow, I’m done thinking about Tony.”

She arched an eyebrow. “But not today?”

I smirked. “Well, I just mentioned his name, so technically I can’t start ‘til tomorrow, right?”

She sipped her water. “Or you could just call him.” She peered over her glass and winked.

I sat my glass on the table. “No, that’s not how this works. In this chess game of love, I’m black, and he’s white. Which means one of us loses in the end.”

Alissa pointed at me. “But you hate to lose.”

I offered my best change-the-subject grin. “Indeed I do.”

Dani asked, “What if he’s changed his mind and that’s why he keeps trying to contact you?”

I swiveled in my chair and mumbled, “Where
is
that waiter?” I looked at Dani and slumped in my chair. “I don’t know, Dani. Can we please change the subject? Let’s talk baby names.”

I ignored Dani’s searching eyes and eventual glance at Alissa who nodded and gave me reprieve. Dani took the cue. “Baby names? Gosh, I have no idea. I can give you a list of names it won’t be, would that help?”

I winked. “Crossing off all the names of the douchebags we’ve dated or married over the years would be a nice place to start.”

Alissa chuckled. “That ain’t no lie.”

“I’ve always liked traditional names,” Dani said.

“Like George, Albert, or Ralph?” I winked at Alissa who laughed into her napkin.

“Oh, God, please not anything like that, Dani,” she gasped. “Otto.” She laughed again.

Dani laughed. “No, nothing like that. Names like Jacob, Edward . . .”

I interrupted, “Or Carlisle or. . . Alissa, what was that other vampire’s name in Twilight?”

She whimpered through a giggle, “Jasper.”

I slammed my hand on the table. “Jasper! Yes!”

Dani waved at the waiter. “Excuse me, I’m going to need some wine to put up with these two today.” She pointed at me. “Are you in?”

“Hell yes, I’m in. Bring a bottle.” I bit my lips and gave Dani my best puppy dog eyes. “I’m just kidding.”

She waved her napkin at me. “Oh, stop with the big eyes. You creep me out when you do that. I’ll have to think about the name. Alissa, what do you think about using your last name somewhere?”

“Franklin? Oh, hell no. I don’t want to punish the little guy like that.” She turned to me. “I have an idea.”

I frowned. “The last time you said that, I had to change careers and zip codes.”

She laughed. “No nothing like that. The best way to get over one guy is to. . .” She extended her hand to me to finish.