The Book of Margery Kempe (27 page)

When our Lord was buried, our Lady fell down in a swoon as she would have come from the grave, and St John took her up in his arms, and Mary Magdalene went on the other side, to support and comfort our Lady as much as they could. Then the said creature, desiring to remain still by the grave of our Lord, mourned, wept, and sorrowed with loud crying for the tenderness and compassion that she had of our Lord's death, and the many mournful desires that God put into her mind at that time. Because of this, people wondered at her, marvelling at what was the matter with her, for they little knew the cause. She thought she would never have departed from there, but desired to have died there and been buried with our Lord. Later the creature thought she saw our Lady going homewards again, and, as she went, many good women came to her and said, ‘Lady, we are very sorry that your son is dead, and that our people have done him so much shame.'

And then our Lady, bowing down her head, thanked them very meekly by her looks and expression, for she could not speak, her heart was so full of grief.

Then this creature thought, when our Lady had come home and was laid down on a bed, that she made for our Lady a good hot drink of gruel and spiced wine,
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and brought it to her to comfort her, and then our Lady said to her, ‘Take it away, daughter. Give me no food but my own child.'

The creature replied, ‘Ah, blessed Lady, you must comfort yourself, and cease from your sorrowing.'

‘Ah, daughter, where should I go, or where should I live without sorrow? I tell you, there was certainly never any woman on earth who had such great cause to sorrow as I have, for there was never woman in this world who bore a better child, nor a meeker to his mother, than my son was to me.'

And she thought she soon heard our Lady cry with a lamentable voice and say, ‘John, where is my son, Jesus Christ?'

And St John answered and said, ‘Dear Lady, you well know that he is dead.'

‘Ah, John,' she said, ‘that is a very sorrowful counsel for me.'

The creature heard this answer as clearly, in the understanding of her soul, as she would understand one man speaking to another. And soon the creature heard St Peter knocking at the door,
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and St John asked who was there. Peter answered, ‘I, sinful Peter, who have forsaken my Lord Jesus Christ.' St John would have made him come in, and Peter would not, until our Lady told him to come in. And then Peter said, ‘Lady, I am not worthy to come in to you,' and was still outside the door.

Then St John went to our Lady and told her that Peter was so abashed that he dared not come in. Our Lady told St John to go back quickly to St Peter and bid him come in to her. And then this creature, in her spiritual sight, beheld St Peter come before our Lady and fall down on his knees, with great weeping and sobbing, and say, ‘Lady, I beg your forgiveness, for I have forsaken your beloved son and my sweet master, who loved me so well, and therefore, Lady, I am never worthy to look upon him, or you either, except by your great mercy.'

‘Ah, Peter,' said our Lady, ‘don't be afraid, for, though you have forsaken my sweet son, he never forsook you, Peter, and he
shall come again and comfort us all indeed; for he promised me, Peter, that he would come again on the third day and comfort me. Ah, Peter,' said our Lady, ‘I shall think it a very long time, until that day comes that I may see his blessed face.'

Then our Lady lay still on her bed, and heard how the friends of Jesus made their lament for the sorrow that they had. And always our Lady lay still, mourning and weeping with sorrowful expression, and at last, Mary Magdalene and our Lady's sisters took their leave of our Lady, in order to go and buy ointment, so that they might anoint our Lord's body with it.

Then this creature was left alone with our Lady and thought it a thousand years until the third day came; and that day she was with our Lady in a chapel where our Lord Jesus Christ appeared to her
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and said, ‘
Salve, sancta parens.
'
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And then this creature thought in her soul that our Lady said, ‘Are you my sweet son, Jesus?'

And he said, ‘Yes, my blessed mother, I am your son, Jesus.'

Then he took up his blessed mother and kissed her very sweetly.

And then this creature thought that she saw our Lady feeling and searching all over our Lord's body, and his hands and his feet, to see if there were any soreness or any pain. And she heard our Lord say to his mother, ‘Dear mother, my pain is all gone, and now I shall live for ever more. And mother, so shall your pain and your sorrow be turned into very great joy. Mother, ask what you will, and I shall tell you.'

And when he had allowed his mother to ask what she wished and had answered her questions, then he said, ‘Mother, by your leave, I must go and speak with Mary Magdalene.'

Our Lady said, ‘That is well done, for, son, she has very great sorrow over your absence. And, I pray you, do not be long from me.'

These spiritual sights and understandings caused the creature to weep, to sob and to cry very loudly, so that she could not control or restrain herself on Easter Day and other days when our Lord would visit her with his grace – blessed and worshipped may he be.

And soon after, this creature was – in her contemplation – with Mary Magdalene, mourning and seeking our Lord at the grave, and heard and saw how our Lord Jesus Christ appeared to her in the likeness of a gardener, saying, ‘Woman, why are you weeping?'

Mary, not knowing who he was, all enflamed with the fire of love, replied to him, ‘Sir, if you have taken away my Lord, tell me, and I shall take him back again.'

Then our merciful Lord, having pity and compassion on her, said, ‘Mary.'

And with that word she – knowing our Lord – fell down at his feet, and would have kissed his feet, saying, ‘Master.'

Our Lord said to her, ‘Touch me not'

Then this creature thought that Mary Magdalene said to our Lord, ‘Ah, Lord, I see you don't want me to be as homely with you as I have been before,' and looked very miserable.

‘Yes, Mary,' said our Lord, ‘I will never forsake you, but I shall always be with you, without end.'

And then our Lord said to Mary Magdalene, ‘Go, tell my brethren and Peter that I have risen.'

And then this creature thought that Mary went with great joy, and it was a great marvel to her that Mary rejoiced for, if our Lord had spoken to her as he did to Mary, she thought she could never have been happy. That was when she would have kissed his feet, and he said, ‘Touch me not' This creature had such great grief and sorrow at those words that, whenever she heard them in any sermon, as she did many times, she wept, sorrowed and cried as though she would have died, for the love and desire that she had to be with our Lord.

On the Purification Day – otherwise Candlemas Day – when the said creature saw people with their candles in church, her mind was ravished into beholding our Lady offering her blessed son, our Saviour, to the priest Simeon in the Temple, as veritably to her spiritual understanding as if she had been there in her bodily presence to offer with our Lady herself.
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Then she was so comforted by the contemplation in her soul which she had in beholding our Lord Jesus Christ, his blessed mother, Simeon the priest, Joseph, and other people who were there when our Lady was purified, and the heavenly songs that she thought she heard when our blissful Lord was offered up to Simeon, that she could scarcely carry up her own candle to the priest, as people did at the time of the offering, but went reeling about on all sides as if she were a drunk woman, weeping and sobbing so intensely that she could hardly stand on her feet, for the fervour of love and devotion that God put into her soul through high contemplation. And sometimes she could not stand, but fell down amongst people and cried very loudly, so that many men wondered at her, and marvelled at what was the matter with her, for the fervour of the spirit was so great that the body failed, and could not endure it.

She had such holy thoughts and meditations many times when she saw women being purified after childbirth. She thought in her soul that she saw our Lady being purified, and had high contemplation in beholding the women who came to make offerings together with the women that were being purified. Her mind was wholly drawn from earthly thoughts and earthly sights, and set altogether upon spiritual sights, which were so delectable and so devout, that she could not in the time of fervour withstand her weeping, her sobbing, nor her crying, and therefore she endured much wondering at herself, many a jibe, and much scorn.

Also, when she saw weddings – men and women being joined together according to the law of Holy Church – at once she had in meditation how our Lady was joined to Joseph, and of the spiritual
joining of man's soul to Jesus Christ, praying to our Lord that her love and her affection might be joined to him alone without end, and that she might have grace to obey him, love and dread him, worship and praise him, and love nothing but what he loved, nor want anything but what he wanted, and ever to be ready to fulfil his will both night and day without resentment or sadness, with all gladness of spirit; and many more holy thoughts than she could ever repeat, for she did not get them from her own study nor her own wit, but of his gift, whose wisdom is incomprehensible to all creatures, except to those alone whom he chooses and illumines more or less as he will his own self, for his will may not be constrained – it is in his own free disposition.

She had these thoughts and these desires with profound tears, sighings and sobbings, and sometimes with great violent cryings, as God would send them, and sometimes soft and secret tears without any violence. She could neither weep loudly nor quietly except when God would send it her, for she was sometimes so barren of tears for a day or sometimes half a day, and had such great pain for the desire that she had of them, that she would have given all this world, if it had been hers, for a few tears, or have suffered very great bodily pain to have got them with.

And then, when she was barren in this way, she could find no joy or comfort in food or drink, or chat, but was always glum of face and manner until God would send tears to her again, and then she was happy enough. And although it happened that our Lord sometimes withdrew from her the abundance of her tears, yet he did not withdraw from her for years together her holy thoughts and desires, for her mind and her desire was ever upon our Lord. But she thought there was no savour nor sweetness, except when she might weep, for then she thought that she could pray.

Two priests who had great faith in her manner of crying and weeping were, nevertheless, sometimes in great doubt whether it were deceptive or not. Because she cried and wept in people's sight, they had an idea to themselves, unbeknown to her, that they would test whether she cried so that people should hear her or not. One day, the priests came to her and asked if she would go two miles from where she lived, on pilgrimage to a church that stood out in the country, a good distance from any other house, which was dedicated in honour of God and St Michael the Archangel.
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And she said she would very willingly go with them.

They took with them a child or two, and went to the said place in a company. When they had said their prayers for a while, the said creature had so much sweetness and devotion, that she could not keep it secret, but burst out in violent weeping and sobbing, and cried as loud, or else louder, than she did when she was amongst people at home, and she could not restrain herself from this, no other people being present there than the two priests, and a child or two with them.

And then, as they came homewards again, they met women with children in their arms, and the said creature asked if there were any male child among them, and the women said no. Then her mind was so ravished into the childhood of Christ, for desire that she had to see him, that she could not bear it, but fell down and wept and cried so intensely that it was marvellous to hear it. Then the priests had the more faith that all was indeed well with her, when they heard her cry in out-of-the-way places as well as public places, and in the fields as in the town.

There were also nuns who desired to have some knowledge of this creature, in order that they should be the more stirred to devotion. She was in their church at midnight to hear their matins, and our Lord sent her such high devotion and such high meditation, and such spiritual comforts, that she was all enflamed with the fire of love, which increased so intensely that it burst out
with loud voice and great crying, so that our Lord's name was the more magnified among his servants, those who were good, meek and simple souls and would believe the goodness of our Lord Jesus Christ, who gives his grace to whom he will.

And especially to those who do not doubt or mistrust in their asking, her crying greatly profited to the increase of merit and of virtue. To those who little trusted and little believed, there was perhaps little increase of virtue and of merit. But whether people believed in her crying or not, her grace was never the less, but ever increased. Our Lord visited her with equal kindness by night as by day, when he would, and how he would, and where he would, for she lacked no grace except when she doubted or mistrusted the goodness of God, supposing or dreading that it was the guile of her spiritual enemy to inform her or teach her otherwise than was to her spiritual health.

When she supposed this, or consented to any such thoughts through the prompting of any man or through any evil spirit in her mind – which would many a time have caused her to leave her good purpose, had the mightly hand of our Lord's mercy not withstood his great malice – then she lacked grace and devotion, and all good thoughts and all good memories, until she was, through the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, compelled to believe steadfastly, without any doubting, that it was God who spoke in her, and would be magnified in her for his own goodness and her profit, and the profit of many others.

And when she believed it was God and no evil spirit that gave her so much grace of devotion, contrition, and holy contemplation, then she had so many holy thoughts, holy speeches and conversation in her soul, teaching her how she should love God, how she should worship him and serve him, that she could never repeat but a few of them. They were so holy and so high that she was abashed to tell them to any creature, and they were also so high above her bodily wits that she could never express them with her bodily tongue just as she felt them. She understood them better in her soul than she could utter them.

If one of her confessors came to her when she rose up newly
from her contemplation or meditation, she could have told him many things of the converse that our Lord communicated to her soul, and within a short time afterwards she had forgotten the most part of it, and nearly everything.