The Book of Margery Kempe (25 page)

As the said creature was in a church of St Margaret to say her devotions, there came a man and knelt behind her back, wringing his hands and showing signs of great distress. She, perceiving his distress, asked what was troubling him. He said things were very difficult for him, because his wife had just had a baby, and she was out of our mind.
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‘And, lady,' he said, ‘she doesn't know me, or any of her neighbours. She roars and cries, so that she scares folk badly. She'll both hit out and bite, and so she's manacled on her wrists.'

Then she asked the man if he would like her to go with him and see her, and he said, ‘Yes, lady, for God's love.' So she went off with him to see the woman. And when she came into the house, as soon as that sick woman who had lost her reason saw her, she spoke to her seriously and kindly, and said she was most welcome to her. And she was very glad she had come, and greatly comforted by her presence. ‘For you are,' she said, ‘a very good woman, and I behold many fair angels round about you, and therefore, I pray you, don't leave me, for I am greatly comforted by you.'

And when other people came to her, she cried and gaped as if she would have eaten them, and said that she saw many devils around them. She would not willingly allow them to touch her. She roared and cried so, for the most part of both day and night, that people would not allow her to live amongst them, she was so tiresome to them. Then she was taken to a room at the furthest end of the town, so that people should not hear her crying. And there she was bound hand and foot with chains of iron, so that she should not strike anybody.

And the said creature went to her each day, once or twice at least; and while she was with her she was meek enough, and heard her talk and chat willingly, and without any roaring or crying. And the said creature prayed for this woman every day that God should, if it were his will, restore her to her wits again. And our Lord answered in her soul and said she should get on very well. Then she was bolder to pray for her recovery than she was before, and each day, weeping and sorrowing, prayed for her recovery until God gave her her wits and her mind again. And then she was brought to church and purified as other women are, blessed may God be.

It was, as they thought who knew about it, a very great miracle, for he who wrote this book had never before that time seen any man or woman, as he thought, so far out of herself as this woman
was, nor so hard to control, and afterwards he saw her serious and sober enough – worship and praise be to our Lord without end for his high mercy and his goodness, who ever helps at time of need.

It happened one time that the husband of the said creature – a man of great age, over sixty years old – would have come down from his chamber bare-foot and bare-legged, and he slithered, or else missed his footing, and fell to the ground from the stairs, with his head twisted underneath him, seriously broken and bruised, so much so that he had five linen plugs in the wounds in his head
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for many days while his head was healing.

And, as God willed, it was known to some of his neighbours how he had fallen down the stairs, perhaps through the din and the rushing of his falling. And so they came in to him and found him lying with his head twisted under himself, half alive, all streaked with blood, and never likely to have spoken with priest nor clerk, except through high grace and miracle.

Then the said creature, his wife, was sent for, and so she came to him. Then he was taken up and his head was sewn, and he was ill for a long time after, so that people thought he would die. And then people said, if he died, his wife deserved to be hanged for his death, for as much as she could have looked after him and did not. They did not live together, nor did they sleep together, for -as it is written before – they both with one assent and with the free will of each other had made a vow to live chaste. And therefore, to avoid all risks, they lived in different places, where no suspicion could be had of their lack of chastity. For, at first, they lived together after they had made their vow, and then people slandered them, and said they enjoyed their lust and their pleasure
as they did before the making of their vow. And when they went out on pilgrimage, or to see and speak with other spiritually-minded creatures, many evil folk whose tongues were their own hurt, lacking the fear and love of our Lord Jesus Christ, believed and said that they went rather to woods, groves or valleys, to enjoy the lust of their bodies, where people should not espy it or know it.

Knowing how prone people were to believe evil of them, and desiring to avoid all occasion as far as they properly could, by mutual good will and consent, they parted from each other as regards their board and lodging, and went to board in different places. And this was the reason that she was not with him, and also so that she should not be hindered from her contemplation. And therefore, when he had fallen and was seriously hurt, as is said before, people said, if he died, it was proper that she should answer for his death. Then she prayed to our Lord that her husband might live a year, and she be delivered from slander, if it were his pleasure.

Our Lord said to her mind, ‘Daughter, you shall have your boon, for he shall live, and I have performed a great miracle for you that he was not dead. And I bid you take him home, and look after him for my love.'

She said, ‘No, good Lord, for I shall then not attend to you as I do now.'

‘Yes, daughter,' said our Lord, ‘you shall have as much reward for looking after him and helping him in his need at home, as if you were in church to say your prayers. And you have said many times that you would gladly look after me. I pray you now, look after him for love of me, for he has sometime fulfilled both your will and my will, and he has made your body freely available to me, so that you should serve me and live chaste and clean, and therefore I wish you to be available to help him in his need, in my name.'

‘Ah, Lord,' said she, ‘for your mercy, grant me grace to obey your will, and fulfil your will, and never let my spiritual enemies have any power to hinder me from fulfilling your will.'

Then she took her husband home with her and looked after him for years afterwards, as long as he lived. She had very much trouble with him, for in his last days he turned childish and lacked reason, so that he could not go to a stool to relieve himself, or else he would not, but like a child discharged his excrement into his linen clothes as he sat there by the fire or at the table – wherever it was, he would spare no place. And therefore her labour was all the greater, in washing and wringing, and so were her expenses for keeping a fire going. All this hindered her a very great deal from her contemplation, so that many times she would have disliked her work, except that she thought to herself how she in her young days had had very many delectable thoughts, physical lust, and inordinate love for his body. And therefore she was glad to be punished by means of the same body, and took it much the more easily, and served him and helped him, she thought, as she would have done Christ himself.

When the said creature first had her astonishing cries, and was once in spiritual dalliance with her sovereign Lord Christ Jesus, she said, ‘Lord, why will you give me such crying that people wonder at me because of it? And they say I am in great peril, for, as they say, I am the cause that many men sin over me. And you know, Lord, that I would give no man cause nor occasion for sin if I could, for I would rather, Lord, be in a prison ten fathoms deep, there to cry and weep all my lifetime for my sins and for all men's sins, and specially for your love, than I would give people occasion to sin wilfully because of me.

‘Lord, the world may not allow me to do your will, nor to follow your directing, and therefore I pray you, if it be your will, take from me these cryings during sermons, so that I do not cry at
your holy preaching, and let me have them alone by myself, so that I be not barred from hearing your holy preaching and your holy words; for greater pain may I not suffer in this world than to be debarred from hearing your holy word. And if I were in prison, my greatest pain would be to forgo your holy words and your holy sermons. And, good Lord, if you wish in any case that I cry, I pray you, give me it alone in my chamber as much as you will, and spare me when among people, if you please.'

Our merciful Lord Christ Jesus, answering to her mind, said, ‘Daughter, do not pray for this; you shall not have your desire in this, though my mother and all the saints in heaven pray for you, for I shall make you obedient to my will, so that you shall cry when I will, and where I will, both loudly and quietly; for I told you, daughter, you are mine and I am yours, and so shall you be without end.
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‘Daughter, you see how the planets are obedient to my will, and that sometimes there come great thunderclaps and make people terribly afraid. And sometimes, daughter, you see how I send great flashes of lightning that burn churches and houses. You also sometimes see that I send great winds that blow steeples and houses down, and trees out of the earth, and do much harm in many places, and yet the wind may not be seen, but it may well be felt.

‘And just so, daughter, I proceed with the might of my Godhead; it may not be seen with man's eye, and yet it may well be felt in a simple soul where it pleases me to work grace, as I do in your soul. And as suddenly as the lightning comes from heaven, so suddenly I come into your soul, and illumine it with the light of grace and of understanding, and set it all on fire with love, and make the fire of love to burn there inside, and purge it clean from all earthly filth. And sometimes, daughter, I cause earthquakes to frighten people so that they should fear me.

‘And so, daughter, spiritually speaking, have I done with you, and with other chosen souls that shall be saved, for I turn the earth of their hearts upside down and make them so intensely afraid that they dread that vengeance will fall on them for their
sins. And so did you, daughter, when you first turned to me, and it is needful that young beginners do so; but now, daughter, you have great cause to love me well, for the perfect charity that I give you dispels all fear from you. And though other people set little value on you, I set the more value on you. As sure as you are of the sun, when you see it shining brightly, just as sure are you of the love of God at all times.

‘You also well know, daughter, that I sometimes send many great rains and sharp showers, and sometimes only small and gentle drops. And just so I proceed with you, daughter, when it pleases me to speak in your soul. I sometimes give you slight weeping and soft tears, as a token that I love you. And sometimes I give you great cries and roarings, to make people afraid at the grace that I put into you, in token that I wish that my mother's sorrow be known through you, so that men and women might have the more compassion of her sorrow that she suffered for me.

‘And the third token is this, daughter: that whatever creatures will feel as much sorrow for my Passion as you have done many times, and will cease from their sins, then they shall have the bliss of heaven without end.

‘The fourth token is this: that any creature on earth, though he have been ever so horrible a sinner, he need never fall into despair if he will take example from your way of living and act somewhat like it, as he is able to.

‘Also, daughter, the fifth token is: that I wish you to know in yourself, by the great pain that you feel in your heart when you cry so intensely for my love, that it shall be the cause why you shall feel no pain when you have come out of this world, and also that you shall have the less pain in your dying, for you have so great compassion for my flesh that I must needs have compassion on your flesh.

‘And therefore, daughter, allow the people to say what they will about your crying, for you are in no way cause of their sin. Daughter, people sinned over me, and yet I was not the cause of their sin.'

Then she said, ‘Ah, Lord, blessed may you be, for I think you do
yourself all that you bid me do. In Holy Writ, Lord, you bid me love my enemies,
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and I well know that in all this world was never so great an enemy to me, as I have been to you. Therefore, Lord, if I were slain a hundred times in a day, if it were possible, for your love, yet I could never repay you the goodness that you have shown me.'

Then our Lord answered her and said, ‘I pray you, daughter, give me nothing else but love. You may never please me better than to have me always in your love, nor shall you ever, in any penance that you may do on earth, please me so much as by loving me. And, daughter, if you will be high in heaven with me, keep me always in your mind as much as you can, and do not forget me at your meals, but always think that I sit in your heart and know every thought that is inside, both good and ill, and that I perceive the least thinking and twinkling of your eye.'

She replied to our Lord, ‘Now, truly, Lord, I wish I could love you as much as you might make me love you. If it were possible, I would love you as well as all the saints in heaven love you, and as well as all the creatures on earth might love you. And I would, Lord, for your love, be laid naked on a hurdle for all men to wonder at me for your love – so long as it were no danger to their souls -and they to throw mud and slime at me, and to be drawn from town to town every day of my life, if you were pleased by this and no man's soul hindered – your will be fulfilled and not mine.'

For many years on Palm Sunday,
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as this creature was at the procession with other good people in the churchyard, and saw how the priests kept their observances, how they knelt to the sacrament, and the people too, it seemed to her spiritual sight as though she had been at that time in Jerusalem, and seen our Lord
in his manhood received by the people as he was while he went about here on earth.

Then she had so much sweetness and devotion that she could not bear it, but cried, wept, and sobbed very violently. She had many a holy thought of our Lord's Passion, and beheld him in her spiritual sight as truly as if he had been before her in her bodily sight. Therefore she could not resist weeping and sobbing, but she simply had to weep, cry and sob, when she saw her Saviour suffer such great pains for her love.

Then she would pray for all the people living on earth, that they might do our Lord due worship and reverence at that time and all times, and that they might be worthy to hear and understand the holy words and laws of God, and meekly obey and truly fulfil them according to their power.

And it was the custom in the place where she was dwelling to have a sermon on that day, and then, as a worthy doctor of divinity was in the pulpit and preached the sermon, he often repeated these words: ‘Our Lord Jesus languishes for love.' Those words so worked in her mind, when she heard speak of the perfect love that our Lord Jesus Christ had for mankind, and how dearly he bought us with his bitter Passion, shedding his heart's blood for our redemption, and suffered so shameful a death for our salvation, that she could no longer keep the fire of love enclosed within her breast, but, whether she would or no, what was enclosed within would insist on appearing outwardly.

And so she cried very loudly and wept and sobbed very bitterly, as though she would have burst for the pity and compassion that she had for our Lord's Passion. And sometimes she was all of a sweat with the effort of the crying, it was so loud and violent, and many people wondered at her and cursed her roundly, supposing that she had pretended to cry.

And soon after our Lord said to her, ‘Daughter, this is very pleasing to me, for the more shame and more contempt that you endure for my love, the more joy shall you have with me in heaven, and it is just that it should be so.'

Sometimes she heard great sounds and great melodies with her
bodily ears, and then she thought it was very merry in heaven, and had very great languishing and very great longing for heaven, with much silent mourning.

And then many times our Lord Jesus Christ would say to her, ‘Daughter, here today are some fair people, and yet many of them shall be dead before this day twelve-month,' and told her beforehand when plague should occur. And she found it to be indeed as she had felt before, and that much strengthened her in the love of God.

Our Lord would also say, ‘Daughter, those who will not believe the goodness and the grace that I show you in this life, I shall make them know the truth when they are dead, and out of this world. Daughter, you show a good zeal in charity, in that you wish all men were saved, and so do I. And they say that they wish so themselves, but you may well observe that they do not want themselves to be saved, for they will all sometimes hear the word of God, but they will not always act according to it, and they will not sorrow for their sins themselves, nor will they allow others to suffer for them.

‘Nevertheless, daughter, I have ordained you to be a mirror amongst them, to have great sorrow, so that they should take example from you to have some little sorrow in their hearts for their sins, so that they might through that be saved; yet they have no love to hear of sorrow or of contrition. But, good daughter, do your duty and pray for them while you are in this world, and you shall have the same reward in heaven, as if all the world were saved by your good will and your prayer. Daughter, I have many times said to you that many thousand souls shall be saved through your prayers, and some that lie at the point of death shall have grace through your merits and your prayers, for your tears and your prayers are very sweet and acceptable to me.'

Then she said in her mind to our Lord Jesus Christ, ‘Ah, Jesus, blessed may you be without end, for I have many a great cause to thank you and love you with all my heart, for it seems to me, Lord, that you are all charity, to the profit and health of man's soul. Ah, Lord, I believe that he shall be very wicked, that shall be
parted from you without end. He shall neither wish for good, nor do good, nor desire good. And therefore, Lord, I thank you for all the goodness that you have shown me, most unworthy wretch.'

And then, on the same Sunday, when the priest took the staff of the cross and smote on the church door, the door was opened to him; and then the priest entered with the sacrament, while all the people followed into the church. Then she thought that our Lord spoke to the devil and opened hell's gates, confounding him and all his host – and what grace and goodness he showed to those souls, delivering them from everlasting prison, in spite of the devil and all that were his!

She had many a holy thought and many a holy desire which she could never tell or repeat, nor could her tongue ever express the abundance of grace that she felt, blessed be our Lord for all his gifts.

When they had come into church, she saw the priests kneeling before the crucifix, and as they sang, the priest who was conducting the service that day drew up a cloth in front of the crucifix three times, each time higher than the other, so that the people should see the crucifix. Then her mind was wholly taken out of all earthly things and set entirely upon spiritual things, praying and desiring that she might at the last have a full sight of him in heaven, who is both God and man in one Person.

And then afterwards, for the duration of the mass, she would weep and sob most abundantly, and sometimes, in the middle of all this, cry out most fervently, for she thought that she saw our Lord Christ Jesus as truly in her soul with her spiritual eye, as she had seen the crucifix before with her bodily eye.