The Book of Margery Kempe (24 page)

At one time God visited the said doctor, Master Aleyn, with great sickness so that no man who saw him would promise him life. And so the said creature was told of his sickness. Then she grieved for him, especially because she had had it by revelation that she should speak with him again as she had done before and, if he had died of this illness, her feeling would not have been true.

Therefore she ran into the choir at St Margaret's Church, kneeling down before the sacrament and saying in this way: ‘Ah, Lord, I pray you, for all the goodness that you have shown me, and as surely as you love me, let this worthy cleric never die until I may speak with him, as you have promised me that I should do. And you, glorious Queen of Mercy, remember what he used to say about you in his sermons: he used to say, Lady, that he was indeed blessed who had you for his friend, for, when you prayed, all the company of heaven prayed with you. Now, for the blissful love that you had for your son, let him live until such time as he has leave to speak with me, and I with him, for now we are separated by obedience.'

Then she was answered in her soul that he should not die before the time that she had permission to speak with him, and he with her, as they had done years before.

And, as our Lord willed, a short time afterwards the worthy cleric recovered and went about hale and healthy, and had leave from his Provincial
¹
to speak with the said creature. And she had leave from her confessor to speak with him.

It so happened that the said doctor was to dine in town with a worthy woman who had taken the mantle and the ring, and he sent for the said creature to come and speak with him. She, much surprised at this, got permission and went to him. When she came into the place where he was, she could not speak for weeping and for joy that she had in our Lord, inasmuch as she found her feeling true and not deceptive, in that he had leave to speak to her, and she to him.

Then the worthy doctor said to her, ‘Margery, you are welcome to me, for I have long been kept from you, and now our Lord has sent you here so that I may speak with you, blessed may he be.'

There was a dinner of great joy and gladness, much more spiritual than bodily, for it was sauced and savoured with tales from holy scripture. And then he gave the said creature a pair of knives, in token that he would stand with her in God's cause, as he had done before.

One day there came a priest to the said creature who had great faith in her feelings and in her revelations – but desired to test them at various times – and asked her to pray to our Lord that she might have some understanding whether the Prior of Lynn, who was a good patron of the said priest, should be removed or not. Just as she felt, she was to give him a true account. She prayed for the said matter and, when she had an answer to it, she told the priest that the Prior of Lynn, his master, should be called home to Norwich, and another of his brethren should be sent to Lynn in his stead.
¹
And so it was indeed. But he that was sent to Lynn only stayed there a little while before he was called home to Norwich again, and he that had been Prior of Lynn before was sent to Lynn again, and stayed there about four years until he died.

And in the meantime, the said creature often had a feeling that he who was last called home to Norwich, and only stayed a little while at Lynn, should yet be Prior of Lynn again. She would give no credence to this, inasmuch as he had already been there, and was within a little while called home again.

Then as she once walked up and down in the White Friars' church at Lynn, she felt a wonderfully sweet and heavenly savour, so that she thought she might have lived by means of it, without food or drink, if it would have continued. And in that moment our Lord said to her, ‘Daughter, by this sweet smell you may know that there shall in a short time be a new Prior in Lynn, and that shall be he who was last removed from there.'

And soon after the old Prior died, and then our Lord said to her as she lay in her bed, ‘Daughter, loath as you are to believe my stirrings, you shall yet see him, of whom I told you before, Prior of Lynn before the week is out.'

And so our Lord repeated this matter to her each day for a week, until she saw it was so indeed, and then she was very glad and joyful that her feeling was true.

Afterwards, when this worthy man had come to Lynn and had lived there only a little while – he was a most respected clerk, a doctor of divinity – he was appointed to go over the sea to the King in France, together with other clerks as well, among the worthiest in England.

Then a priest who had an office under the said Prior came to the said creature and begged her to bear this matter in mind, when God should minister his holy dalliance to her soul, and discover in this matter whether the Prior should go over the sea or not. And so she prayed to have some understanding in this matter, and she was answered that he would not go. Nevertheless, he himself expected to have gone, and was all provided for it, and had with great grief taken leave of his friends, supposing never to have come back, for he was a very weak man and had a feeble constitution. And in the meantime the King died, and the Prior stayed at home.
²
And so her feeling was true, without deception.

It was also voiced about that the Bishop of Winchester was
dead,
³
and, notwithstanding that, she had a feeling that he was alive – and so it was in truth. And so she had feelings about many more than can be written, which our Lord, of his mercy, revealed to her understanding, though she were unworthy by her own merits.

So by process of time her mind and her thoughts were so joined to God that she never forgot him, but had Him in mind continually, and beheld him in all creatures. And the more that she ever increased in love and in devotion, the more she increased in sorrow and in contrition, in lowness, in meekness, and in holy dread of our Lord, and in knowledge of her own frailty, so that, if she saw a creature being punished or sharply chastised, she would think that she was more worthy to be chastised than that creature, for her unkindness towards God. Then she would cry, weep and sob for her own sin, and for compassion of the creature that she saw being so punished and sharply chastised.

If she saw a prince, a prelate, or a worthy man of state and degree, whom men worshipped and reverenced with lowness and meekness, her mind was immediately refreshed in our Lord, thinking what joy, what bliss, what worship and reverence he had in heaven among his blessed saints, since a mortal man had such great honours on earth.

And most of all, when she saw the precious sacrament borne about the town with lights and reverence, the people kneeling on their knees, then she had many holy thoughts and meditations, and then she would often cry and roar, as though she would have burst, for the faith and the trust that she had in the precious sacrament.

The said creature was also desired by many people to be with
them at their dying and to pray for them, for, although they had no love for her weeping or her crying during their lifetimes, they desired that she should both weep and cry when they were dying, and so she did. When she saw people anointed, she had many holy thoughts, many holy meditations, and – if she saw them dying – she thought she saw our Lord dying, and sometimes our Lady, as our God would illumine her spiritual sight with understanding. Then she would cry, weep, and sob amazingly, as if she had beheld our Lord in his dying, or our Lady in her dying. And she thought in her mind that God took many out of this world who would have very gladly lived, ‘and I, Lord,' she thought, ‘would very gladly come to you, and for me you have no yearning,' and such thoughts increased her weeping and her sobbing.

On one occasion, a worthy lady sent for her to talk with her, and as they were in conversation, the lady paid her a kind of respect and praise, and it was great pain to her to have any praise. Nevertheless she immediately offered it up to our Lord – for she desired no praise but his alone – with a great cry and many devout tears.

So there was neither honour nor praise, love nor detraction, shame nor contempt, that might draw her love from God, but, after the saying of St Paul, ‘To them that love God, all things turn into goodness,'
¹
and so it happened with her. Whatever she saw or heard, her love and her spiritual affection always increased towards our Lord – blessed may he be – who worked such grace in her for many men's profit.

Another time she was sent for by another worthy lady who had a large retinue about her, and great honour and great reverence was shown her. When the said creature saw all her retinue about her and the great reverence and honour that was shown her, she fell to much weeping and cried out at it most sorrowfully. There was a priest who heard how she cried and wept – and he was a man not savouring spiritual things – and he cursed her, saying to her, ‘What the devil's wrong with you? Why do you weep so? God give you sorrow!'

She sat still, and answered not a word. Then the lady took her
into a garden by themselves alone, and asked her to tell her why she cried so grievously. And then she, supposing it was fitting to do so, told her in part of the cause. Then the lady was displeased with her priest, who had so spoken against her, and had great love for her, desiring and asking her still to remain with her. Then she excused herself, and said she could not agree with the manner of dress and behaviour that she saw among her household.

On Holy Thursday, as the said creature went in procession with other people, she saw in her soul our Lady, St Mary Magdalene, and the twelve apostles. And then she beheld with her spiritual eye how our Lady took her leave of her blessed son, Jesus, how he kissed her and all his apostles, and also his true lover, Mary Magdalene. Then she thought it was a sorrowful parting, and also a joyful parting. When she beheld this sight in her soul, she fell down in the field among the people.
¹
She cried, she roared, she wept as though she would have burst. She could not control herself or master herself, but cried and roared so that many people were astonished at her. But she took no notice of what anyone said or did, for her mind was occupied with our Lord.

She felt many a holy thought at that time which she could never know afterwards. She had forgotten all earthly things and only attended to spiritual things. She thought that all her joy was gone. She saw her Lord ascend up into heaven, yet she could not do without him on earth. Therefore she desired to go with him, for all her joy and all her bliss was in him, and she well knew that she would never have joy or bliss until she came to him. Such holy thoughts and holy desires caused her to weep, and people did not know what was wrong with her.

Another time, the said creature beheld how our Lady was – as she thought – dying, and all the apostles kneeling before her and asking for grace. Then she cried and wept grievously. The apostles commanded her to stop, and be quiet. The creature answered the apostles, ‘Would you have it that I should see the mother of God dying and not weep? It may not be, for I am so full of sorrow that I may not withstand it. I simply must cry and weep.'

And then she said in her soul to our Lady, ‘Ah, blessed Lady, pray for me to your son, that I may come to you, and no longer be delayed from you; for, Lady, this is all too great a sorrow, to be both at your son's death, and at your death, and not die with you, but still live on alone and have no comfort with me.'

Then our gracious Lady answered to her soul, promising her to pray for her to her son, and said, ‘Daughter, all these sorrows that you have had for me and for my blessed son shall turn for you to great joy and bliss in heaven without end. And do not doubt, daughter, that you shall come to us indeed, and be most welcome when you come. But you may not come yet, for you shall come in very good time. And daughter, be assured that you will find me a true mother to you, to help you and succour you as a mother ought to her daughter, and obtain for you grace and virtue. And the same pardon that was granted you before was confirmed on St Nicholas's Day
²
– that is to say, plenary remission – and it is not only granted to you, but also to all those who believe, and to all those who shall believe until the world's end, that God loves you, and will thank God for you. If they will forsake their sin, and fully intend to turn to it no more, but are sorry and grieved for what they have done and will do due penance for it, then they shall have the same pardon that is granted to yourself, and that is all the pardon that is in Jerusalem, as was granted to you when you were at Ramleh,' – as is written before.

The said creature one day hearing her mass, and turning over in her mind the time of her death, grievously sighing and sorrowing because it was so long delayed, said in this way: ‘Alas, Lord, how long shall I thus weep and mourn for your love and for desire of your presence?'

Our Lord answered in her soul, and said, ‘All these fifteen years.'

Then said she, ‘Ah, Lord, I shall think it many thousand years.'

Our Lord answered to her, ‘Daughter, you must think to yourself of my blessed mother, who lived on after me on earth for fifteen years;
¹
also St John the Evangelist, and Mary Magdalene,
²
who loved me most highly.'

‘Ah, blissful Lord,' said she, ‘I wish I were as worthy to be assured of your love as Mary Magdalene was.'

Then our Lord said, ‘Truly, daughter, I love you as well, and the same peace that I gave to her, the same peace I give to you. For, daughter, no saint in heaven is displeased, though I love a creature on earth as much as I do them. Therefore they do not wish otherwise than as I wish.'

Thus our merciful Lord Christ Jesus drew this creature to his love and to recollection of his Passion, so that she could not endure to look at a leper or any other sick man, especially if he had any wounds showing on him. Then she cried so and wept, as if she had seen our Lord Jesus Christ with his wounds bleeding. And so she did in the sight of her soul, for through the beholding of the sick man her mind was all taken into our Lord Jesus Christ.

Then she felt great mourning and sorrow because she might not kiss the lepers, for the love of Jesus, when she saw them or met with them in the streets. Now she began to love what she had most hated before, for there was nothing more loathsome or abominable to her while she was in her years of worldly prosperity than to see a leper, whom now, through our Lord's mercy, she desired to embrace and kiss for the love of Jesus, when she had time and a convenient place.
³

Then she told her confessor how great a desire she had to kiss lepers, and he warned her that she should kiss no men, but, if she would kiss anyhow, she should kiss women. Then she was glad, because she had permission to kiss the sick women, and went to a place where sick women lived who were very full of the disease, and fell down on her knees before them, begging them that she might kiss their mouths for the love of Jesus. And so she there kissed two sick women, with many a holy thought and many a devout tear and, when she had kissed them, she spoke very many good words to them, and stirred them to meekness and patience, that they should not resent their illness, but thank God highly for it, and they should have great bliss in heaven through the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Then one woman had so many temptations that she did not know how best to behave. She was so troubled by her spiritual enemy that she did not dare to bless herself, nor offer any worship to God, for fear that the devil would slay her. And she was tormented with many foul and horrible thoughts, many more than she could tell. And, as she said, she was a virgin.
⁴
Therefore the said creature went to her many times to comfort her, and prayed for her, most especially that God should strengthen her against her enemy. And it is to be believed that he did so, blessed may he be.