The Black Swan (29 page)

I sighed. “Oh, that little upset!”

“Did she speak to you about it?”

“Yes, she did. Very ceremoniously, over a cup of her special Darjeeling which is only brought out for special occasions. Apparently it was an offense against protocol to bring a servant into the house without prior consultation with an Emery.”

“The fault was entirely mine. Should I apologize to Mrs. Emery?”

I hesitated. “It might not come amiss. It might even set the matter right. All Mrs. Emery wants is recognition of her status.”

“I’ll do that and be as tactful and respectful as I can.”

We laughed together.

That night she brought up what she called my nightcap and we sat talking while I drank it. It had become a ritual.

I missed Roland very much during the days which followed. I was looking forward to his return and I thought that, next time he went to London, I would go with him. I could find plenty to do there while he was working. I could go to see Celeste and shop. I would suggest it to him when he returned.

One night it was Kitty who brought my nightcap.

She was a big woman with strong, capable hands, I noticed; she was deferential, speaking only when spoken to, which was a trait in her favor.

I thought I ought to have a little chat with her, however, and as she set the glass down on the table, I said, “Oh, it’s you, Kitty.”

“Yes, ma’am. Miss Fitzgerald said to bring it up.”

“Thank you. Are you settling in all right?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“It must be a little different from London.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I could see that I was not going to learn very much from her, so I said good night.

I almost forgot to drink the nightcap since Phillida was not there to talk to me while I did so.

I quickly drained the glass and put it on the tray to be collected in the morning.

Roland had been three days in London. He will soon be home, I kept telling myself. I had been out riding, as I so liked to do. Phillida had not come with me on this occasion, and when I returned to the house one of the maids dashed out to tell me that a visitor was waiting for me with Miss Fitzgerald in the drawing room. I went there and, to my surprise, Belinda rose and came toward me.

“Hello, Lucie,” she said. “I’ve come to see you.”

“So I see. How lovely! What a surprise! Are you well?”

“Oh, yes,” she replied, but I knew at once that something was wrong. There was a subdued air about her; and I asked myself, why should she have come, if she did not want something?

“Miss Fitzgerald told me how wonderfully you are settling in here and what a marvelous honeymoon you had.”

“I’ve also been telling her that she should have brought her husband,” said Phillida.

“Yes,” I said. “Why didn’t you?”

“Oh, he’s got some business to attend to … on the estate, of course. And I thought I’d snatch a day or so to see how you were getting along.”

“You are going to stay a little while, I hope.”

“If I may … just for a few days.”

“Of course. We’ll be delighted to have you, won’t we, Phillida?”

“But of course. Roland will be disappointed if you don’t stay. He’s not due back until Friday or maybe Saturday. But you will stay as long as that, won’t you?”

“I … I don’t know. I’ll have to see. …”

I guessed she was desperately wanting to be alone with me.

I said, “I think we’ll put you in the Red Room. I’ll go and see Mrs. Emery.”

“I’ll do that,” said Phillida, and hesitated.

“Perhaps I’d better,” I said quickly.

Phillida understood. Although she had spoken to Mrs. Emery about bringing Kitty into the house, Mrs. Emery’s attitude toward her was still somewhat frosty where Phillida was concerned.

“Shall I go and tell her you want to see her?” suggested Phillida.

“Yes, please, do that. And will you tell one of the maids to get the room ready?”

Phillida left us together.

“What’s the matter, Belinda?” I asked.

“Something terrible.”

“Well, you’d better tell me.”

“But Mrs. Emery will be here in a minute.”

“Let’s get your room settled and then we can be alone and talk.”

It was not long before Mrs. Emery appeared.

“Well,” she cried, “if it’s not Miss Belinda. I beg your pardon … Lady Denver, I should say.”

“It is,” said Belinda. She went to Mrs. Emery and kissed her.

It was not quite protocol but entirely forgivable, and Mrs. Emery looked pleased.

“Well, it’s nice to see you, Miss Be—your ladyship.”

“Miss Belinda to you always,” said Belinda. “Belinda, the wicked one.”

“Well, you could be a bit naughty. I’m not denying that. But it’s nice to see you here. Like old times … Miss Lucie and you together.”

“Belinda is going to stay for a few days, Mrs. Emery.”

“Well, that’s nice.”

“Yes, isn’t it? I thought the Red Room.”

“I’ll make sure it’s all put to rights. Well, I must say, it’s a pleasure.”

When she went out, Belinda looked at me and I thought she was going to burst into tears.

“Do tell me, Belinda.”

“I can’t here … someone might come in.”

“They’ll soon have your room ready. You know where it is. It’s close to ours.”

“The Bridal Suite?”

“Call it that if you like.”

“It’s the best bedroom in the house, with that balcony looking down on the garden.”

“You don’t forget the old house then, Belinda?”

“How could I ever? I wish they’d hurry up with that room.”

“Mrs. Emery will tell us when it is ready. Would you like a drink … some refreshment?”

“I couldn’t eat a thing.”

“Is Bobby all right?”

“Yes, and it’s true, he is rather busy on that old estate. There are always people coming and he rides round and attends to everything. He’s very keen on the estate. It’s been in the family for generations and all that … a solemn duty to carry on. …”

“And what about you, Belinda? Aren’t you happy?”

“I was.”

“You mean you’re not now?”

“I tell you, I can’t talk to you here.”

“It’s all right, isn’t it … with you and Bobby?”

She nodded. “It’s just that I’m afraid … I want to keep it right, I do really.”

“Well, why shouldn’t you?”

“I keep telling you, I can’t talk now.”

It seemed a long time before Mrs. Emery came in.

She said, “The Red Room has been prepared now, Miss Belinda, your ladyship. I think you’ll be very comfortable up there.”

“Oh, thank you, Mrs. Emery,” said Belinda.

“I must say, you’re looking beautiful, Miss Belinda. Married life suits you. Miss Lucie, too. I was saying to Mr. Emery how nice it is to see Miss Lucie a married woman … and now there’s you, Miss Belinda.”

“We do you credit then, Mrs. Emery,” said Belinda.

Mrs. Emery laughed and shook her head. “You were always a caution, Miss Belinda. We never knew what you’d be up to next.”

“No,” I said. “That’s true. Well, let’s get you to the Red Room. Is Belinda’s case up there?”

“Yes, it is,” replied Mrs. Emery.

“Well, I’ll take her up now.”

“She wouldn’t like something … a cup of tea or coffee, or a glass of wine?”

“No, thank you,” said Belinda.

“Come along then.”

We went up the stairs. Belinda knew the way, of course.

“How familiar it all is!” she said. “How it takes me back. No matter how long I was away, I’d find my way about this house blindfold.”

We were in the Red Room. She shut the door and sat on the bed. I took the chair opposite.

“Now,” I said. “I want to hear what it’s all about.”

“I’m in terrible trouble, Lucie. I don’t know what I’m going to do. This can be the end of everything.”

“Then tell me, for Heaven’s sake.”

“I don’t know where to begin. It was in Australia. I told you about Henry Farrell, didn’t I? Oh, you’ve forgotten. He was the one who took over the mine.”

“I remember. Well, what about this Henry Farrell?”

“He was very much in love with me and, for a time … I thought I was with him. I was only sixteen. He was a good deal older … in his mid-twenties. He persuaded me.”

“To what? Don’t be bashful, Belinda. That’s not like you.”

“I hate to say it, Lucie. It’s awful. We … we were married.”

“Married!”

She nodded wretchedly; “In Melbourne. Secretly.”

“And he’s still alive … so how …?”

She nodded again wretchedly.

“Then,” I added, “if you are married to him, you can’t be married to Bobby.”

“That’s what I’m telling you. What am I going to do?”

I stared at her in blank dismay. Then I said, “Does Bobby know?”

“Of course not.”

“Then you’ll have to tell him.”

“Henry wants me to go back with him.”

“Back with him? Is he here?”

She nodded once more. “What am I going to do, Lucie? I had to get away. I had to come and tell you about it. I want you to help me.”

“Help you? How can I? What can
I
do about it?”

“I don’t know. I thought … together … we might think of something.”

“Oh, Belinda, how could you have done this? Didn’t you think of Henry Farrell when you went through this form of marriage with Bobby?”

“He was so far away … and it was long ago. I thought no one need ever know about it. And I’ll tell you something else, Lucie, I’m going to have a baby. Bobby is so thrilled. So what now?”

“I … I didn’t imagine anything like this. How could you have got yourself into such a mess?”

“I feel as if I’m going mad.”

“You’ll have to tell Bobby right away.”

“I just couldn’t do that. It would break his heart. He’s so pleased about everything. I just could not tell him, Lucie.”

“Have you seen this Henry Farrell recently?”

“Yes. He’s in London. I saw him today. Then I came straight down here.”

“I thought he was still in Australia.”

“He was. It was all that stuff in the papers when I was married. One of the newspapers turned up over there, and it would be the one with that in it. He said he didn’t believe it at first. Then he had someone make inquiries and found out it was true. He found Celeste’s address and wrote to me, saying he was coming over. Celeste sent the letter on to me. I told Bobby I wanted to shop for the baby. I knew Bobby couldn’t leave the estate at this time, so I came to London. And I met Henry Farrell in London. He said I was his wife anyway and he wanted me to go back to Australia with him. I had to get rid of him, Lucie. I told him I’d think about it. I won’t go back, though. I’m married to Bobby now.”

“But you’re not, Belinda. You’ve just committed bigamy and that’s against the law.”

“I won’t go back. I’m Bobby’s wife.”

“Look, Belinda, it’s no use hiding from the truth. What you’ve just told me is that you have married this man in Australia long before you even met Bobby. Therefore Bobby is not your husband. That’s the plain truth. If we are going to find some solution we won’t do it by shutting out the facts and pretending they do not exist. Tell me exactly what happened.”

“I wanted to get away after Tom died. It wasn’t bad when the mine was doing well, and we had trips to Melbourne. I liked it then. We’d stay there for a week or so sometimes when Tom was doing business, and we’d meet people and it was fun. But then the mine started to fail … and Tom got ill and there we were, stuck in that awful little mining town. There was nothing to do … and then Henry got friendly and at the time it seemed quite exciting. I was only sixteen and Henry said we could get married quietly and we did. I never told my mother. Her idea was for me to come to England and make a great marriage. I had been brought up as a Lansdon and she wanted me to have the sort of life I would have had if I had really been Benedict Lansdon’s daughter as everyone thought I was in the beginning. So I didn’t tell her. I didn’t want to upset her … because she was ill. It was so dreary … I had to
do
something and it seemed exciting at the time.”

“I can see exactly how it happened,” I said, “but the point is, what are we going to do about it?”

She looked at me helplessly.

“I think you ought to tell Bobby,” I said.

“I just
couldn’t.
”

“It concerns him.”

“I know. But I couldn’t tell him. He’s such a darling. He’s so happy … and what about the baby?”

“Oh, Belinda,” I said. “What a mess!”

“I thought you might have some suggestion.”

“Why me?”

“Well, you’re calm and reasonable and all that. You would never have got yourself into a mess like this. I thought you might see a way out.”

“There are only two ways out, as far as I can see.”

“What? What?”

“You go back to Australia with Henry Farrell as his wife, because he is after all your husband …”

“That’s right out of the question. What’s the other?”

“You explain everything to Bobby. Get the marriage with Henry Farrell dissolved and remarry Bobby.”

She breathed a deep sigh.

“That’s it,” she said. “That’s what we have to do. We
must
do that.”

“You’ve forgotten, of course, that you would have to get Henry Farrell’s agreement.”

Her face darkened. “He … he won’t let me go. He said he won’t. He said he loves me. He wants me back.”

“But he did let you go. He was ready to part with you before.”

“I know. We quarreled terribly, you see. I soon realized what a mistake I’d made.”

“And you let him know it!”

“He used to get really angry. Sometimes I thought he’d kill me. I got really frightened. And it was all so secret because I didn’t want my mother to know. We never set up house together. It wasn’t really like a true marriage.”

“Oh, Belinda, how could you be so feckless?”

“Because I’m a fool. You know how I always took some action before I’d thought very much about it.”

I nodded.

“Well, what am I going to do?”

“Do you really love Bobby?”

“More every day. I like being with him, and he thinks I’m wonderful.”

“And it is rather nice being Lady Denver?”

“Well, yes, it is,” she said defiantly.

“Better than being Mrs. Farrell, which I suppose you really are?”