The Beauty Within (29 page)

bedroom. He smelled of perspiration and mountains as usual, and it calmed

her. He laid her gently on the bed before climbing in next to her, his fingers

tender on her chin as he forced her to look into his eyes.

“Now,” he said after a few moments, his voice hushed and caring. “Are we

ready to talk?”

She nodded, sniffling as more tears slipped from her eyes. Gunnar used his

thumb to brush them away.

“Mind if I go first?”

She shook her head.

“The woman last night…her name is Kaci. I had been dating her before we

met. In fact, that first time you came to the gym, I was supposed to have a date

with her; but Kaci had changed plans so many times I’d become irritated, and I

took it out on you.”

156

Savannah J. Frierson

Tyler frowned, her dislike for the nameless woman who now had a name

growing ever more.

“I’d broken it off that very night, too, because I couldn’t deal with the dra-

ma…and because I’d met someone else who had irritated me just as much, but

her irritation wasn’t as bothersome as Kaci’s.”

Gunnar winked at her, and she ducked her eyes briefly. His thumbs still

stroked her cheek, though few tears fell now. His voice and touch calmed her

immensely.

“Turns out, I would grow to really like this new woman…
really
like her.

Like her more than I had liked anyone in a while, actually. Then, a few weeks

into our acquaintance, some man came into her barbershop. I didn’t know who

he was, but I felt an immediate dislike for him, especially since the woman who

had been so sassy and confident during our previous meetings suddenly turned

inward and timid when he walked inside. I didn’t like the change he’d caused

in her, and I had wanted to throw him out to get the first woman back. Then

we had an argument, the woman and I, and for a few weeks, we didn’t see each

other. In my missing her and loneliness, I called Kaci again, which turned out

to be an even bigger mistake than the first time I had dated her.

“But what really sealed the deal for me was when I came over the new

woman’s house because I heard the pain in her voice over the answering

machine, the pain caused by the man who had entered her barbershop weeks

ago, the man who had sucked up all her liveliness and spirit. Turns out I wasn’t

the only one who had turned to an old flame for comfort; but whereas I was

only annoyed, this woman had been hurt. Old wounds had been opened, and

she needed help closing them. I knew I could do that for her, if only she’d let

me.”

“Gun—”

He shook his head, pressing his thumb on her lips. He didn’t speak imme-

diately, merely drifted the digit over her mouth, the corners of it, her chin.

Tyler snuggled into his touch, and Gunnar let out a low breath.

“I was falling in love with this woman. Completely and totally in love, and

to my surprise and mild consternation, she couldn’t see it. In fact, she refused

to see it. She also refused to own up to the fact she was falling in love with me

as well.”

The tears that had stopped started again, and her shoulders shook with her

sobs.

“When we finally made that step to the next level, I had been ecstatic. We

were finally the couple we should’ve been weeks ago, and I had thought there

would be smooth sailing. Of course, I’d forgotten all about the ghosts that

hovered around us, although I had thought mine had gone away for good. But

she hadn’t, and she’d kissed me, as if trying to reclaim me, but to no avail.”

“G—”

The Beauty Within

Another firm press of his thumb to her lips. “My love saw,
min kjære
, and

the look of utter heartbreak in her eyes caused my own heart to break. I was

also angry Kaci had kissed me, and angrier I hadn’t reacted quickly enough to

get her to stop.

“My heart broke even further when my woman had refused to talk to me;

but I reminded myself that she hadn’t broken up with me, so I had to give her

time. It was so hard to have her sleep down the hall when she should’ve been in

my arms. And this morning, I checked in on her, gave her a sweet kiss to her

forehead, before going off on my run. Her sigh and whisper of my name had

given me hope, so while I ran, I thought of the speech I would tell her, to

reassure her she had nothing to fear from me.”

She buried her face in the pillow, her shame increasing. He’d checked in on

her and hadn’t even realized it. In her slumber, her heart had been completely

honest, and the knowledge stunned and scared her further.

“Tyler,” Gunnar whispered, his mouth brushing against her temple. “When

I came in and didn’t see you, I panicked. I was scared you’d left. I was all ready

to call Damon and Wendy even. Then I came down to the gym and saw you

sobbing on the treadmill, saw all the sweat and the fact the treadmill was

on…you could’ve hurt yourself! You didn’t have any water, you probably didn’t

even stretch!”

“Gunnar…”

“But then you were babbling, telling me you loved me…
min kjære
, the hap-

piness I felt faded to sadness because you sounded so desperate, almost

begging me to love you back. You never have to beg for my love, darling. I give

it freely and completely.”

“Oh…”

“I am not Quincy Lucas, Tyler,” Gunnar said firmly, cupping her face with

soft hands so she would look into his eyes. His face was blurry from her tears,

but she met his gaze as best she could. “Stop thinking I would
ever
treat you as

callously as he did. I know a beautiful thing when I see it, and I’ll be damned if

I lose it…lose
you
.”

Tyler couldn’t breathe, so surprised by what he’d just told her. She

couldn’t help it. She had to have confirmation. “Really?”

His smile was almost amused, and he pressed his nose against hers. “Real-

ly,
min kjære.
Jeg elsker deg
, Tyler. I love you completely.”

“But I still haven’t reached your goal yet; I have all this weight to lose! Oh,

Gunnar, how would it look if you had a fat slob on your arm when you’re a

former model and a gym owner! I need to get right so—”

“What did I just say?” Gunnar said, his eyes growing a little cold. He shook

her head gently. “Who am I, Tyler?”

She frowned. “Gunnar.”

“Gunnar. Not Quincy. Not the boy from eighth grade. Not all the other

idiots you’ve met. I may not be the smartest man on the planet, but I’m not the

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Savannah J. Frierson

stupidest, either, certainly not stupid enough to let you go, or have people say

things that aren’t true about you,
especially
you, Tyler.”

Tyler’s eyes fluttered closed, more tears slipping out, but she shifted closer

to him. She didn’t want to hear any more. She just wanted him. “Hold me,

Gunnar?” she asked on a breath. “Please?”

“You never have to ask,
min kjære
,” Gunnar whispered in response, bringing

her so close air couldn’t separate them. “Never.”

Tyler had fallen asleep, her exhaustion and emotional weight forcing her to

slumber, but Gunnar couldn’t. He alternated between staring at her and

kissing her forehead and cheeks, his hands unhurried as they caressed her

body. Finding Tyler at the treadmill scared him more than he realized, and her

doubt even more. She never even mentioned Kaci when she talked to him,

putting all the blame on herself. His Tyler, his
elskling
…though he wasn’t

Quincy, she still was Tyler; and even if she did lose all the weight and then

some, none of the issues she was dealing with would really go away.

“How can I convince you,
min kjære
?” he asked quietly into the room. If she

stopped doing their sessions, he wouldn’t be upset in the least. He couldn’t

watch her destroy herself for some unattainable, cosmetic goal. Gunnar didn’t

think she would ever become society-accepted slim; that just wasn’t in her

build. Tyler was a strong woman; there was nothing wrong with her curves

and strength, either.

Unwittingly, his mind drifted back to his time to LA…to the last two years

of it. He’d fallen in love with Aurora, a fellow model, and a phenom. Newly

arrived from Brazil, she was an exotic mix of European, African, and Native

ancestry with curves that seemed to go on forever, yet a slight frame that made

her every fashion designer’s and magazine editor’s wet dream. When he’d met

her for a gig, it had been lust at first sight. They had been fully clothed too—

Oscar de la Renta formalwear for a
Vogue
spread. Seeing the chemistry emanat-

ing between the two, her agent and his had booked them for as many gigs

together as possible. She’d been a young girl, so her vulnerability had also

spoken to him, and he’d done his best to help her navigate the unforgiving

waters of modeling. They also had fallen in love and were rarely ever apart.

Soon, they had been tabloid fodder, and her star rose ever faster. She’d become

an international sensation, and in effect, she’d left him behind. He hadn’t been

jealous, more concerned, for everyone knew female models were the ones with

the memorable names. But the fact she was such a sweet girl in such a ruthless

industry had made him wary.

And with good reason.

The more popular Aurora had become, the more pressures came her way,

especially about her weight. She was never slim enough, never toned enough,

The Beauty Within

never fit enough. She’d become an exercise addict, and along with that, a drug

addict. From weight-loss pills to cocaine to ecstasy, Aurora had tried anything

that would help her lose weight and keep it lost. Gunnar had done some drugs

recreationally; but when Aurora had begun taking them as if they were water,

he’d stopped and tried to get her to stop too.

She hadn’t listened.

It was on a fateful, abnormally cold day in January when, after Aurora had

refused to return any of his phone calls, did he go to her condo in Santa Monica

to check in on her. He’d come into her condo, yelling her name, but it was her

soft moan from her bathroom in her bedroom that had had Gunnar’s heart

clenching and dread cloaking his body.

There had been a pool of blood coming from her head, and her eyes were

glazed. There had been a needle stuck grotesquely in the bend of her arm, a

bottle of weight-loss pills opened and empty with the oblong pills spilled from

it, and her shower was still running—nothing but a skimpy towel covered her

frame. Gunnar had made a shaky call to 911, and cradled Aurora, crying and

promising her the ambulance would come soon.

It had, but by then it had been too late.

He’d blown off his gigs and went to Norway to regroup, his mother baby-

ing him for the first time in years. He’d needed it, too, knowing had he not had

the anchor his mother provided, he could’ve done something very destructive

to himself or someone else. It had been his father who’d suggested opening a

gym, too, considering the way Aurora had died. Gunnar could teach people

how to lose weight safely and effectively.

He couldn’t honestly say what had possessed him to move back to North

Carolina, especially since all of his family had moved away from it, but he did

know he couldn’t go back to LA…not right then. Now, as he held Tyler in his

arms and kissed her forehead once more, he realized the universe had had

something bigger in mind for him before he’d even known.

“You’re beautiful just the way you are,
elskling
,” he murmured against her

skin. “Please believe me…”

With one last kiss to her head, Gunnar slipped out of bed and went down-

stairs, trying to find something to prepare for dinner. He decided on baked

salmon with penne pasta in a light pesto sauce and Italian bread he’d pur-

chased on a whim. He also put a pot on the stove to boil water so he could

make homemade sweet iced tea for Tyler. He’d just finished seasoning the fish

when his phone rang, and he answered it quickly so not to disturb Tyler.

“Hello?”

“
Bror
, when can you come to LA?”

“I’m fine, thanks for asking,” Gunnar teased. He turned off the eye under-

neath the boiling water and poured sugar and tea bags into it. He would let it

sit for a few minutes so it could steep.

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Savannah J. Frierson

Inge huffed. “Hello, Gunnar, how are you this fine Saturday? Used to being

thirty-five yet?”

Gunnar grinned a little but sighed, his mind thinking over the past twen-

ty-four hours, especially the last couple. “I thought about Aurora today.”

Inge sucked in a breath. “Good Lord, Gunnar, why? What happened? It’s

not her anniversary yet, is it? I thought she died in September.”

“She did, but she came to mind because of…”

“Yes?” Inge prodded, when Gunnar didn’t speak up for a few seconds.”

Gunnar preheated the oven before going to sit at the kitchen table. “Re-

member the last time you called? You asked for a name. Well, it’s Tyler…”

He told his sister everything, though he gave abridged versions for some