An alarm rang in my head. I shook my head no. “No, no. What are you talking about?”
As Tracey neared me, I said, “And, you, don't touch me! Get away from me!”
“I dictate, and you take the orders.” Tracey reached for my arm.
Ms. Tanner stopped her. “Wait a minute. Let her talk.”
“Ms. Tanner, it would be a waste of time. She's aâ”
“Let her talk.”
I sat there. I didn't really have anything to say. Well, I did, but I didn't think it would've made a difference. I was in a “lose-lose” situation here. Tracey had filled this lady's mind with all kinds of lies, and now she didn't believe me. No one ever believed me.
They got me! I'm trapped in this muthafucka.
“I'm giving you the floor. Speak.”
They both stood, staring at me, and I said nothing. My mouth formed no words whatsoever. I was speechless. My lips were stapled shut. There was no need for me to beg, plead, or ramble on with any of that “help me, help me” garbage. I had to face the facts. Their shit was planned, and planned well. All I was left with was a swollen pussy, a gruesome memory, and more time in lockup.
“Tracey, she's all yours.”
I didn't even put up a fight. I went with the flow of things.
Tracey didn't utter a word to me either as she took me to the regular bunk area. Her silence scared me though.
“Eat your dinner right there and then lights out.”
I looked over at my bed, and there was what looked like a frozen dinner waiting for me. The tray was filled with a quarter-sized Salisbury steak, potatoes, and sweet peas. I removed the plastic covering and jammed the plastic fork into the Salisbury steak, and the damn thing was half frozen.
Is this supposed to be a joke?
I tossed the half-microwaved frozen dinner in the garbage and lay down on my bed. Not before long, the rest of the detention center girls entered in silence. They shuffled to their beds to get their last-minute whatever in before lights out. Everyone was present too. Not one person was in the hole. Something was definitely wrong with this picture.
Enemies were amongst one another like cat and mouse. Lights went out, bedtime set in, and I lay awake in the dark alert. My fear increasingly heightened as I lay motionless, unable to close my eyes. I sat up in my bed and just stared into the pitch-black darkness.
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In the wee hours of the morning, I heard movement. I listened harder, and the noise seemed like it was getting closer.
Before you know it, I was hemmed up by Tameka, who had a knife to my throat. “You gonna die tonight, bitch!”
For some reason now, I was unafraid. In no way did I fear for my life, which was weird. The reason I didn't go to sleep in the first place was because I was scared shitless, but now this bitch had a knife to my throat and I was fearless.
“You hear me? You gonna die tonight. Shine the light on her.”
Someone flicked up some flames from a torch-lighter, and Tracey's face appeared.
I thought,
I'm tired of this bitch. I know this is all her doing.
“A'ight, you got the green light. Get yours.”
“Yeah, go ahead. Slice my throat. Make sure you cut deep too. I want blood to be everywhere.”
Tameka loosened up her grip on my neck. “What? I mean, yeah, I'm slicing from left to right.”
“I'm ready when you are,” I announced.
As Tameka pushed the knife into my skin, the lights shot on. She quickly dropped the blade, and it landed on my bed.
Ms. Tanner appeared, and Tracey, out of nowhere, bum-rushed Tameka, saying, “Hey, I need help over here.”
Ms. Tanner quickly radioed for security, and I sat there as if nothing was happening while Tameka and Tracey tussled.
Tameka was wilding out. “No! Let me at her. I want that bitch. Let me at her. You said I can get her.”
Security rushed in and ushered Tameka out.
Ms. Tanner walked over to me as I lay down. Before she could get a word out, I said, “I'm good.”
“Did sheâ”
“I'm good. Ain't nothing happen.”
I laughed inside as she walked away. That old scaredy Desire was out the door. Being fearless meant I was back. That was what that feeling of being unafraid was about. Oh, and make no mistake, I was back on the grind. I had some blood I wanted to give away.
Ha, ha, ha!
Chapter 28
My time got extended for the trouble I had gotten into, so I had to deal with this place for the whole damn summer.
The whimpering, hollering, scared-of-life Desire was no more. I needed to fuck. Yeah, that's right. I needed to give away this virus I was carrying. Being in here should not have made me lose my edge. Damn! I was mad I let that happen. It was only going to take me a couple of days though to come up with something.
At night, I thought about what I could do to get me back in the groove of things. I knew, for one, that I needed to get that bitch Tameka back for sure 'cause I'd had it up to here with her and her two disciples. Two, I had to weigh the option of risking sneaking out, hitting the corner, and getting with people against linking up with the night guards. I didn't know how easy either was going to be. Then there was the complex problem of passing this shit to these females in here, 'cause I wanted to get at them too.
But my first priority was Tameka.
I had a weapon at reach, so that was a start. Yeah, I forgot to mention that when she'd dropped her knife on my bed, I'd scooped it up and stashed it before anybody could think about retrieving it. To cover her own ass, Tracey had lied, saying Tameka didn't have a weapon, but after Tameka had bragged about almost slicing my throat, Ms. Tanner came looking for the weapon. I told her Tracey must have taken it, because all I did was feel it leave my neck, and that was it. She took my word for it and then tried to apologize to me about the incident, but I brushed her off, so she could keep it moving. I didn't need her in my face trying check up on me while I was trying to do me.
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It was a new morning, and I was ready to get at Tameka. My plan was to get her at breakfast time. I reached underneath my mattress for the hidden blade. I became startled when I heard my name being called along with some other girls' over the loudspeaker. I left the blade in its hiding place and went to see why I was being called out.
“If you have just heard your name, please report to Ms. Tanner's office.”
“What?”
“There is no question about what I said. You heard me,” one of the staff said.
One of the other staff escorted us to Ms. Tanner's office. There were seven of us. I guess we were all in trouble. Why? I had no clue.
We reached her office and saw a table outside of it with donuts and bagels.
“Help yourself, ladies, to anything you see on the table then kindly take a seat in my office.”
These hungry bitches ran to the table before she could even get the full sentence out. Me, I wasn't up for a donut express meal. I made my way to the room and sat and waited to see what bullshit was about to go down now. The scavengers came in with plates filled to the ceiling with different kinds of donuts and shit, with Ms. Tanner behind them.
“Please take a seat anywhereâthe floor, the couch, or the rug.”
Everyone pretty much sat wherever.
“I know you're all wondering why you're here. You're not in trouble or anything, so you can set your minds at ease.”
A collective sigh of relief went around the room.
“Wow! That took a load off, huh?” Ms. Tanner joked.
A few girls laughed.
“But on a serious note, this meeting, which I'd like to call âa session,' can either be harmful or helpful. You make the choice. I'm asking for everyone's cooperation. Today, I have low tolerance for the silent treatment, and that means I'm going to ask you some questions that require answers.”
I thought to myself,
Here we go again with the question-and-answer gig.
“There are different cliques here that don't like each other, individuals that don't like each other, and groups of people who don't like a particular person. I'm going to ask everyone individually who they have, as you all call it, beef with. I want an honest response, and I want a reason why. If you can't give a reason why, then keep the name to yourself. I'm going to start from left to right. Please give your last name, the first name of the person you have an issue with, and the reason you have an issue with them. And please don't be afraid to say someone who is in this very room. That's what this mediation session is all about. This disliking each other for whatever reasons has to stop, because there WILL be no blood on these floors.”
I looked around the room to see if I had beef with anybody. Although I didn't care for anyone of these girls, and I was sure they didn't care for me, I had no beef with any one of them.
“We'll start with you first, Desire.”
I knew she was going to put me on the spot.
Dang! I wanted to hear what the other girls had to say first.
“I don'tâ”
“Last name please.”
“Jones, and I don't have a valid reason.”
“Does that mean there is someone, but you don't know why you have a problem?”
“I guess.”
“Understandable. Next.”
“I'm Holmes, and I have a problem with that bitch Taâ”
“No swearing, please.”
“Okay. I have a problem with the broad Tameka.”
Everyone giggled.
Ms. Tanner just shook her head. “What's your reason?”
“Before I got locked up, she and this other girl jumped my cousin Nikki, and I wasn't feelin' dat.”
“Good. Next.”
“Amesbury, and I, hmmmm, I don't know. I don't wanna say.”
“Is the person in this room?”
She put her head down. “Yeah.”
“Speak your mind then. It's all right. Nothing violent can go down in this room.”
“Okay, whatever. I got a problem with Desire.”
I looked up, shocked. I had forgotten all about Cindy.
“And why?”
“She jumped on me for no reason when we were running one morning.”
“Understandable. Next.”
Ms. Tanner went down the line and concluded that I was one person's problem and Tameka was everyone else's. I knew Tameka had enemies, but I didn't think almost everyone was an enemy of hers.
“Ladies, I thank you for your honesty, and we are now one step ahead in a positive direction. Everyone seems to have a problem with the biggest troublemaker we have in here. The question now is, How do we resolve that?”
“Kick her out,” I blurted.
“Ha! Good answer but not an option.”
Another girl followed up with, “Why not?”
“Because it doesn't work like that around here. Think about it. Why is each of you here? Because you did something wrong, and being here is supposed to be punishment.”
“And it sure is. I hate this place,” Cindy blurted.
We all laughed.
“That's good. You're not supposed to like it. I don't want you back here after your first visit either. One should be enough. You get in and get out, but while you are here, you have to learn to get along with each other, no matter what the circumstances. In here, you are sisters, you are a family, and family sticks together. I know you're not sisters by blood, but you should be by bond. This bickering and fighting because of the . . . ”
I blanked out from the conversation and fell into “mission mode.” I had solved the riddle that long awaited a solution. I knew just how to pass out this virus to these bitches in here.
Damn, I love Ms. Tanner!
When the meeting was over, I began my rounds of talking to Tameka's enemies. To get Cindy on the team too, I apologized to her.
“Yo, Desire, you said it right when you said that bitch needed to be out of here. There's mad girls in here that want to get at her.”
“Not as bad as me,” I answered.
“Nah, not as bad as me,” Aja cut in.
“No, no,” Malika Holmes said. “Nobody wants her like I do.”
“Shit. Enough of us don't like her. Let's just get together and stick the bitch.”
“I'm
d
,” Malika said. “She jumped my cousin anyway. She needs to get hers.”
“Let's do what it do,” Aja added.
Everyone else gave the go-ahead of being down, while I remained silent.
“Desire, you down?”
“I don't know. How I know y'all ain't gonna turn on me and shit?”
“Nah, I'm with this. I want her,” Cindy assured.
Everyone else gave head gestures of feeling the same way.
“We need to do some type of promise or something.”
“Let's do pinky-swear,” this girl Kristen said.
“Nah. Y'all ever hear of blood sisters?”
“Hell yeah! Me and my best friends used to do it all the time,” Aja said.
“Well, that's how we all in. We gotta become blood sisters. I already got a plan for Tameka, and I got the steel too.”
“You're already packing?”
“We haven't sworn in yet,” I said. “Chill out.”
Cindy asked, “So we gotta cut ourselves or something, right?”
“You down or what?” I was trying to avoid questions altogether.
“I'm
d
. Anything to get at Tameka.”
“A'ight then. In the morning on the field, during our break, we'll meet up.”
“Cool,” everyone responded in unison.
The initiation process was a success. I brought my blade to the track, and everybody, every single one of them bitches, sliced their thumb, and we swapped blood. It was a beautiful thing. Everyone came up to me and pressed their thumbs against mine. Then we sucked the blood off in unison as we chanted the words, “Blood sisters for life.”
We came up with an exclusive name for our crew and a secret handshake, like the fraternities have. It was sweet. I had these chicks. I had 'em right where I wanted, with a plan to keep 'em coming. We were to repeat initiation at least once a week. This way I knew the blood was really getting into their streams, giving them the virus. I planned to infect every girl I can.
It was one task down and one more to go.
Next on the list was Tameka. Me and the girls came up with a plan on how to get at her. She hadn't really been at any of us in a few days, since we looked like we were ten strong. She and her girls kept giving me the eye, letting it be known that they still wanted a piece of me. It was all good. I had something for that ass.
I had the knife strapped to my waist, armed and ready for battle. My girls gave me the heads-up when Tameka and her crew were coming in my direction.
I got my cereal and started walking to my seat, making sure to cross her path. I knew they would try to fuck with me, which was why I made it a point to put myself in their presence. She did just as I expected her to.
Big bad Tameka and her girls pushed past me, making my tray of food fall to the floor. One of my girls stood up, and while I discretely pulled my blade out, she pushed her way through Tameka's girls as I simultaneously grabbed Tameka by the arm. She flung my hand away, and I swung toward her stomach with the blade in my hand. She jumped back and Torrey, one of her girls, jumped toward the blade, and it sliced her on the arm.
Then Ginger tried to snatch the blade from me and ended up slicing her hand.
Tameka tried the same move, but I let her take it as I quickly pushed away from her, and Malika knocked her to the floor.
By now, a crowd had formed.
A staff person came over, pushing through the crowd of girls hovering over us. She attempted to break up the rumble but couldn't get a grip on anyone as multiple people, mostly my girls, were taking cheap shots at Tameka and her followers.
It ended quickly though, when backup arrived. And I'll be damned! I succeeded in my plan. Tameka was caught red-handed with the blade, and she was the one that caught hell.
“She was tryin'a stab me,” I yelled as one of the staff members held me back.
“Fuck you, bitch!” Tameka tossed the blade to the floor. “You had this fucking blade.”
Security guard Sharon wagged a finger at Tameka. “Watch your mouth.”
“Fuck you, play cop! I ain't going down for her.”
I just stood there not saying anything. My girls started butting in, saying Tameka had the knife and they were just trying to break up the commotion.
Sharon jumped on top of Tameka while she was still on the ground and twisted her arm behind her back. “Did you say something to me?”
“Get the fuck off of me!”