Tangled Dreams (25 page)

 
Gavin- he’s right I’m no good for you. You’re a wonderful guy who is going places and I refuse to bring you down. I’m leaving you the possession that means the most to me, to the person who means the most to me. Take care of it and yourself. I’m sorry, Don’t look for me. I am most sorry it has to be this way.

Love, Maddie

PS I’ll never forget you.

Grabbing my bag and the heaviest coat I had without any idea where I was going, but I was going. Heading out the door I shut it quietly I could still hear them shouting at each other down stairs. I knew It would be easy enough to slip out the back door unnoticed. Resisting the need to sneak in for one more glimpse of Gavin. I knew I’d be seen or even worse I wouldn’t be able to leave him behind. Breaking my resolve. So, running out the back door I headed towards the road into the cold air tears streaking down my face. I didn’t know what to do or where to go. Trying to pull myself together I decided to walk to Andreas until I decided what I was going to do. I knew she would hide me. I also knew it was going to be a cold, long walk into town. Knowing there wasn’t going to be very much traffic on the road not that I could hitch a ride anyways. I had to be sure I wasn’t seen at least as little as possible. Pulling my hood up I wrapped the scarf around my face and started the long walk. I already decided if I heard Gavin’s truck coming I would duck into the woods. Luckily, the truck is loud enough I would be able to hear it from a pretty good distance.

In between all the screaming Gavin started to look around. “Where did Maddie go?” Asking his mother.

“Um I don’t know.” She said wringing her hands tears running down her cheeks.

“Maybe she went upstairs.” He said starting to dart off.

“Gavin, you leave that girl alone. She’s no good for you. Really, who gives a shit were she went. She’s just like her mother.”

Gavin now getting up in his face something he has never done his whole life. “You don’t talk about her that way in front of me.” He warned staring into his fathers eyes with a note of threat in them.

“You don’t talk to your father that way.” Swallowing hard taking a step back from him. Leaving at those harsh words and stares he turned and ran up stairs to find her. Swinging her door open violently he ran in to find her room empty. Nothing but a note and her journal that he knew was her most prized possession one she would never leave. Reading the letter on top he crumpled it up into a fist and could feel a tear streak down his cheek. He couldn’t help but feel like he’d lost her forever. Knowing they were down stairs a good half hour arguing he realized she could have gotten pretty far. He didn’t know how he could have been so stupid to not realize that she had left. Lifting up her journal he made a promise to himself that he would find her and return it to her. Quickly going into his own room he hid it in a drawer and tucked the letter in his back pocket so his dad wouldn’t find either and destroy them. The only thing he had left. Grabbing his keys to his truck he ran down stairs.

“Gavin where are you going sweetie?” Julia asked still distraught over the events that had just taken place. William now sitting acting completely oblivious to everything.

“She’s gone mom. She left us.”

“What?” She asked bringing new tears to her eyes. “What do you mean she gone?”

“I mean she’s left a note. She’s gone and she’s not planning on coming back.”

“Oh I’m so sorry dear.”

“Good riddance.” His dad mumbled, sitting back into his chair. Julia now whipped around with a fire in her eyes.

“For your sake William McKnight, you better pray she comes back or that we find her.” She said striding out slamming every door she came into contact with.

“See what you caused son? Just leave it alone.”

“I will not leave it alone.” Turning his back and running out the door unwilling to waste any more time arguing with him. Not sure where he was going, just hoping she was walking along side of the road.

I was almost to town now and I felt like a block of ice. Hoping to God Andrea was going to be home knowing everything but the train depot would be closed today. Walking up to her house I didn’t want to knock on the door because I knew the first place Julia and Gavin look for me would be Andrea’s. Walking around to the back of the house I found Andreas room. Thank goodness her bedroom was on the first floor. Putting my ear to the cold pane of glass I first tried to listen to make sure if she was home and if her parents weren’t around. The truth was her parent’s weren’t home very much anyways. One was a lawyer and worked in the city while the other was a high class realtor and also worked in the city. Knocking gently on the window I was relieved when Andrea yanked up the blind.

“What are you doing here?” Andrea asked astonished.

“I need to stay with you a while.” I said while climbing into the window.

“You know my parent’s aren’t home you could of knocked on the door.”

“Well, I assumed they would be home on Christmas.”

“Yeah right Madison. You know better than that.” She said smiling sitting on the bed. “I’m happy you’re here though. It gets lonely around here.” Now very excited. I couldn’t help it I started crying. I just had to.

“Oh God. What’s wrong Madison?” Just now seeing my big bulky bag and how freezing cold I was she sat down next to me on the bed.

“Did you walk all the way here?” She asked concerned now.

“Yeah I did.” I said in between tears.

“I ran away. I need to stay with you until I can figure out what I need to do.”

“Yeah, of course you can.”

“You can’t tell your parents though. No one can know.”

“Of course I won’t. They won’t be home but a couple times this week. An hour here, an hour there. It’ll be easy to hide you. But, where are you going to go?”

“I don’t know.” I said slipping out of my jacket enjoying the feel of the now warm air on my skin. “I was thinking about going to find my mom. I know she’s in Chicago.”

“Madison Chicago is a huge city. Your going to have to narrow it down some more.”

“Well, I think I can figure it out. I remember hearing the name of the bar she works at in the back ground last time I talked to her. Jay’s Pub is all I heard. Shouldn’t be to difficult to find. I’ll find it and wait until she shows up for work.”

“Yeah.” Andrea said looking down. “That may work. But, I don’t want you to leave.” She wined. “What happened Madison?”

Sighing, “Uncle William caught Gavin and I kissing.” I said unwilling to say anymore.”

“Oh my freaking shit!” “

Andrea! I’ve never heard you cuss before.”

“How was it?” She asked now jumping up and down on the bed.

“Are you forgetting the fact I just ran away?” I said a little annoyed now.

“No. But, I still want to know.”

“Well, it wasn’t the first time, but that didn’t make it any less amazing.”

Squealing now, I couldn’t help but feel a little excited with her. He after all he was amazing. She obviously knew that and I of course knew that.

“I can’t believe you never told me I should kick you out right now.” She teased.

“Well, it’s something that should never of happened. We live together after all.”

“Well, I can see why you dropped Clay like a bad habit. Don’t get me wrong Clay is hot to but, Gavin. Geesh it should be a crime to be that sexy.”

“Your not telling me anything I don’t already know Andrea. Believe me it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do walking out that door today and leaving him behind.”

“So, why did you?”

“I have my reasons. I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“It’s okay. Maybe later. You hungry?”

“Starving.”

“Great. I’ll cook.” Getting up I followed her into the kitchen where she was an expert. Making a full lunch for us and it was amazing. You could tell she got left home a lot and she had a lot of practice. It made me feel bad for her. I knew how she felt. My mom had a choice but she chose not to be home. My dad wanted to be home but had no choice but to be gone at work.

As we were sitting at the table eating and talking, well she was talking I was listening. The doorbell rang.

“I wonder who that could be?” Andrea asked standing up looking out the window toward the driveway.

“Oh God. It’s Gavin Madison.”

Panicking, I got up. “Do not tell him I’m here Andrea! Please!”

“You know I won’t. Go hide in my room.” She said shoeing me off before she opened up the door. Leaving the bedroom door cracked I could hear and see everything.

“Andrea have you seen Maddie?”

“No Gavin. I’m sorry. Is there something wrong?”

She asked like a pro. I was actually impressed. That was until I heard the anguish and guilt in Gavin’s voice.

“Are you sure she hasn’t called or anything? I really need to find her.”

“No, sorry Gavin.”

“Please if you hear from her or see her, please call me.”

“Sure.” She said starting to close the door. Just when he stuck his foot in the door. She could feel the panic in her chest worried that he caught on to them.

“Another thing, if you do talk to her please tell her I miss her. I need her. And to please come home.”

“Sure, Gavin. I’m sure she is fine.” Andrea said smiling reassuringly quickly closing the door and locking it as he walked down the side walk his shoulders slumped in defeat.

I walked out and slowly into the hallway.

“Madison. His heart is broken. I don’t know how I lied to him.”

“I’m sorry for making you do that. I should have known he would come here looking for me.”

“He really cares about you Madison.”

“I know.” I said slumping down into the nearest chair.

“It just isn’t meant to be.”

“Who says?” Andrea asked sitting down across from me.

“It just isn’t. Believe me. I’ve spent many hours thinking about it.”

“Alright. I won’t push.”

“I’m really tired Andrea. You mind if I lay down for a while?”

“Sure, I’d give you the guest bedroom but you never know when my parents are going to drop in. You better stay in my room.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Sure my couch in there pulls out into a bed if you want me to pull it out for you.”

“No, the couch is totally fine. Besides if your parents come home we want everything to look normal as possible.”

“Good point.”

Laying down, I could only think of Gavin, and how scared I was. And how scared I wouldn’t be if Gavin was by my side. But, he wasn’t. I’m not going to make him fight with his family. Not over me. Not ever. When I drifted off I dreamt about him of course. We were lying down in the pasture by the creek the tall grass all around us. He was holding me close to him and we were laughing. He was kissing me gently. I didn’t want the dream to end. It was the sweetest dream in the world but, like every night that sweet dream turned into my  nightmare about my dad dying. Every sleep ended the same. Me waking up at some point weather it be in the middle of the night, or in the morning. I always wake up in a cold sweat. Getting up Andrea wasn’t in the room and the room was  dark. Turning on her small desk lamp I quickly got in to my bag wiping the sleep out of my eyes. Searching for my link to Gavin. I had to see him. My dreams weren’t enough. Finally finding our picture I studied it closely and held it to my chest tightly wishing it were him instead. I’m tired of losing the people I love most in my life. I can’t help but feel cursed. Laying back down I fell back asleep clutching our picture tightly. Sometime in the middle of the night I heard Andrea creep in quietly but, soon fell back asleep.

The days came and went quickly and her parents literally peeked in here an there barely staying for very long before they were off again. It was easier hiding from them than I thought it would be. To easy almost. It made my heart go out to her realizing just how much alone time she really does spend. I could probably live here for the next two years and her parent’s would never even notice. But, my time here was coming to an end. Christmas break was almost over and it was the Saturday before school would start up again on Monday. I already made up my mind that I had to leave before school came back into session. Knowing when that happened it would be ten times harder to slip out of town without being noticed. I would say before the second hour of school everyone would know I ran away and of course then everyone would be taking that extra glance driving, or walking, or whatever they were doing at a stranger to see if it was me. That was something I couldn’t risk. My train is to leave Sunday night for Chicago. I got the address for the bar and have called it to make sure she still worked there. They told me they couldn’t give me that information. So, I waited until later one night and called and asked for her and when she got on the phone I hung up. I couldn’t let her know I was coming. I had this bad feeling she would leave town if she knew. Clay had already found out and called Andrea to see if she knew anything. Obviously Gavin had called him in desperation to see if I went to Clay for help. Which kind of hurt my feelings but, I couldn’t blame him. I knew he was going to try anything possible to find me. That’s just the kind of guy he is. Andrea on the other hand never felt so popular her whole life and she absolutely beamed every time Clay or Gavin called to check up to see if she heard anything. Yeah, she realized they were calling about me but, it still made her feel good knowing she was talking to the two hottest guys in school on the phone.

Finally when that Sunday came I decided to leave early to ensure I wouldn’t miss my train. Plus, I had a pretty good distance to walk. We lived in such a small town that there were no taxi’s and I couldn’t exactly call someone to take me. So, here I go again. Walking. Zipping up my jacket and putting on my hat the sadness I felt got worse with every step I took towards the door knowing in a couple hours I would be gone and never coming back. No matter what. Even if my mother and grandparents don’t accept me I still won’t come back. I’ll find some way to make it. At the door Andrea was now the one begging me not to leave but, of course it fell on deaf ears. Hugging her in appreciation I thanked her and said my good byes.

“I’ll miss you so much Andrea. You really are a good friend.”

“Promise me you’ll call when you get there so I know your all right.”

“I promise.” I said with tears in my eyes.

“I promise to keep in touch with you.”

Hugging her I said goodbye to another part of my life. Walking out into the cold I started towards the train station knowing I was going to have to hit the highway for a while before I could get back on some back roads. I hated that fact knowing someone could see me easier.

“Gavin, sweetie. We’ll find her. She’s got to show up somewhere. You have to eat.” Julia said sitting down beside him on his bed.

“Why did he have to do it mom? Why did he have to run her off?” Staring up at the ceiling while I laid here all I could feel was pain. That was all I could feel since she had been gone. Not realizing how much she was such an intricate part of my life. Feeling now like there was a huge hole in his heart. Every second of every day he has worried about her. Where she was? If she was cold? Worse yet if she was still alive? What if something bad happened to her? She was so naive and clumsy, what if she trusted the wrong person? His imagination was getting the best of him. And he knew he was torturing himself. He tried and tried and he couldn’t find her any where. He felt so guilty all the time.

“He didn’t mean to run her off Gavin.”

“Who cares if her dad was adopted. I’m adopted.”