Take a Breath (Take 1) (36 page)

    Thank goodness, that’s the last thing I need. 
“Thanks Jessie, how is everyone?”  

   “As to be expected I
think.  Everyone is in shock at what happened to you and also
shocked at who was behind it all this time.  The papers are having
a field day on that one.  Jake’s got some damage control to
contend with when he gets back.”  

    Oh no, he must know this and yet
he’s still here with me acting like nothing is happening.  I feel
the guilt come back again.  Jake’s been keeping me in this
heavenly bubble hiding me from what’s happening in the outside
world.  

   “Ana are you there?  You know everything’s going to
be ok don’t you?  Jake knows what to do, that’s why he’s captain
of this very close nit, tightly whipped ship he has here.  Even
though we’re a bunch of red necked wannabes.”  

    I burst into
laughter, “You always know how to cheer me up.”  

   “Well, tell me
how are you?”  She asks.  

   “I’m fine, a little sore but I’ll
be right as rain in a couple of days no doubt.  I will definitely
be in next week.  I just want to get back to work you know.” 
           “Michael says you struck gold on that flasher case.  The sicko’s
where he belongs again in custody.  You were also right on the
burglaries it would seem.  They have them both in now for
questioning.  Michael wanted to thank you in person.  He said
he misses you.  We all miss you.”  

    My heart feels overwhelmed
by her words, “I’m delighted about that Jessie, that’s great.  I
miss you all too. Jessie, do me a favour and thank everyone for me for
the flowers, and you too of course.  They were beautiful.”  

   “Of course I will.  Can I come see you at the weekend?”  She
asks.  

   “Yes, I’d like nothing more.  Not Friday night though
as we have company.”  

   “Oh, who’s that then?”  

    I tell her
about Cindy and that she’s coming over for dinner, so she can meet
Jake’s dad properly for the first time.  We all want to become
more acquainted seeing as she is now part of Matthew’s
life.   She tells me that her and Jerry are still going
strong and are going out to dinner again tonight.  I’m really
happy for her.  Both our lives seem to be going in a good
direction now.  We make arrangements for her to come over on
Sunday afternoon before hanging up the phone. 

I
get myself settled on the sofa after a nice shower noticing how nicely
all the cuts seem to be healing.  They seem to be fading now and
some have disappeared all together.  The bruises on my neck are
still there, so I decide to wear the other polar neck dress that Jake
bought me.  It’s not nice as a constant reminder for Jake and
Matthew to look at 24/7 so it’s better to hide it away and forgotten
about.  I just want them gone, as they are a reminder of Tony and
what he did.  He may be dead, but his finger marks are still
evident on my flesh.  I feel nauseated by the thought.  To
keep my mind off things I decide to go back outside and watch Jake and
Matthew play ball.  Jake’s bare torso is a welcome distraction as
I watch his muscle flex, as he runs and kicks the ball.  He looks
over to me every now and then to make sure I’m ok and I just nod my
head, transfixed on every pore of his glistening skin.  He amazes
me just how perfect he is in every way.

After
an hour or so they’re both finished playing ball and patting each
other’s backs.  Jake sits by me and holds my hand.  

   “Dad, I’m
going back in the pool to cool off.”  

    Jake nods, “Ok son, I’ll
join you in a bit.”  Matthew takes a sprint back to the pool and
dives in.  “Are you ok?”  He asks.  

   “I’m fine. 
Just a bit worried that’s all.  You’re not going to get into
trouble over this Tony thing are you?”  He waves me off
dismissively.

   “No, of course not.  Like everything it will all
blow over.  It always does.”  

    I wasn’t satisfied, “Jake, I
don’t need protecting.  If there is something going on you can
tell me.  I’ll only find out when I go back to work on Monday
anyway.”  

   “Ana, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he
scoffs.  

   “Why not?” I ask baffled. 

   “You need your rest. 
You’ve been to hell and back and need to recuperate.”  

    I shake my
head, “I’m fine, stop fussing.”  

   “Ana, I think you’re taking this
whole thing a bit too well.  You don’t talk about it, you just
seem to be acting normal.  It unnerves me.”  

   “I can’t let him
win Jake.  If I’m a mess, it means all that he’s done was worth
taking to the grave with him.  I’m not letting him win; I refuse
to give him the satisfaction.”  A sudden tear wells up my eye and
Jake quickly moves across to my chair and wraps his arms around
me.  “I need this Jake, I need to be normal.  I need to get
back to work and back to living my life.”  Jake strokes my hair
trying to calm me.  

   “I know, it’s just the press are sniffing
around at the moment trying to get your name.  I would hate to
think you went back to work and somehow they found you.  I thought
it would be a good idea if you just stayed at home a bit, rested and
then hopefully the press will get bored and go away.  I don’t want
anything to hurt you Ana.  You know that don’t you?”  

    I nod
my head in his shoulder, “I know that’s one of the reasons why I love
you.”  He pulls me away to look at me.  

   “Just one of the
reasons?  What other reasons are there?”  

    He gives me that
mischievous smile, which soon lights up my heart making the tears
cease.  “I’m not really sure I should tell you.  I know how
big your head is and it will only make it harder for me to get you back
inside the house.”  I smirk at him suddenly feeling better.  

   “Ha, ha, again with the big head joke.  I’m going for a dip before
my head explodes all over your lovely new dress and I wouldn’t want to
spoil that in a million years.  You look simply good enough to eat
in it, but then you always do.”  

    He winks at me and heads off,
always knowing how to make me feel special and cherished.

The
rest of the week was very pleasant.  Jake and I spent the mornings
in bed together whilst our afternoons and evenings were spent with
Matthew.  Jake was a constant fussy bugger, but he let it slip how
guilty he felt for not being with me when it all went down.  He
said that he had promised to keep me safe and that he didn’t hold down
that promise.  I kept trying to tell him that it wasn’t his fault
and that he couldn’t have known what was going on.  I told him
that I was safe, I was shaken, but I was happy and although he wasn’t
content it seemed to ease him a bit.  There was a moment when we
went to the local shops to get groceries and I thought I saw
Tony.  I was sitting in the car hyperventilating with Jake trying
to calm me down.  It was then he insisted I get in touch with Dr.
Townsend and book an appointment which I reluctantly did for Friday
morning. 

She
was a lovely middle aged lady who tried to medicate me for the panic
attacks, but I said I would prefer not to use medication.  She
then advised me that if I ever have one again there are some steps that
should help me, such as focusing on something non frightening, taking
slow deep breathing and to try and think of something positive. 
She even suggested that if I feel I see Tony again, to actually look
properly at the person and I will soon see that it can’t be him, and
that he cannot hurt me anymore.  We scheduled for another
appointment the following week and I then concentrated all my energies
on the impending dinner that evening.

Jake
and I got all the ingredients from the supermarket.  I insisted
that I make everyone’s favourite Chicken Cacciatore and bought a Pecan
Pie for dessert.  It was important that I kept busy and Jake had
no arguments when he saw what I was going to cook.  The meal with
Cindy was very pleasant and both her and Matthew were elated that
school had finally finished.  Talking with her was very easy and
she seems to have her head screwed on.  She wants to follow in her
father’s footsteps and become a Lawyer.  Both Matthew and Cindy
looked smitten and it was a joy to see such happiness surrounding the
dinner table. 

Sunday
soon came around and Jessie’s visit was short, but it was nice to
finally see her again after so long.  She spoke about what was
happening at work and that nothing much has changed apart from the fact
this new guy David Willis managed to sleep with one of the Police
ladies there called Diana, and then didn’t speak to her after. 
That seems to be the new hot gossip going around the station at the
moment.  Sounds like I was right on first impressions then. 
I bet he and Tom are the new best friends.  I wonder how Michael
feels about that.

Monday
came as soon as Sunday had, and everyone at work was so supportive and
gave me hugs.  It was good to finally return to work and get back
into the swing of things.  The reporters had finally managed to
find out that the girl in question works at the station, so they were
hanging around outside trying to get more answers, or a possible
glimpse of who was involved.  One of them eyed me suspiciously
which only just spurred on another panic attack.  I had to quickly
run to the toilets to try and ride it out.  Jessie noticed and ran
in after me and tried to calm me down.  I was a mess for the rest
of the day but tried my hardest not to think about it anymore.  A
couple of days later, this same reporter cornered me on the way to my
car and tried to ask me questions, to which I screamed at him to fuck
off and leave me alone.  I drove off but not before he managed to
get a snapshot of me.  I rang and told Jake and he was
furious.  He tried looking for this reporter but he was nowhere to
be seen, so probably escaped when he thought he had what he came
for.  The very next day my picture was posted in the Daily
Newspaper with a caption of, ‘Is this the woman who captured the heart
of a psycho killer?’  I was mortified and again I couldn’t go to
work for a few days after, to try and hide from the incessant press
breathing down my neck.  Jake spoke to a Lawyer to see if we could
sue the papers but we both felt it necessary to leave all well alone as
pursuing this may cause more tabloid headlines, which I definitely
couldn’t deal with right now.  It was a hard couple of weeks, but
just like always, it all died down and some other story about a senate
having an affair was soon the biggest news everyone was talking about.
I didn’t care as long as the pressure was finally off me.

Chapter 31

September
was here before I knew it and I was in a much happier place.  Jake
and I have been in love as ever and wounds were healing physically and
mentally.  Dr Townsend was a big help and life seemed pretty damn
awesome.  The heat was getting a lot more bearable, but at the
same time I was starting to feel a little depressed that summer was
finally over.  I was keen on getting back on track, so set up a
date with Jessie and Mandy at Sam’s one evening.  It was enjoyable
apart from the fact that Jake was texting me every five minutes and
wasn’t happy until he picked me up and took me home.  He was
right, some things never do change. 

On
the last day of the working week I was with Jessie and thoroughly
looking forward to my dinner with Jake that evening.  

   “So why are
you here, but the boss man isn’t today?”  She asked.  

   “Well
he’s taking me to Leandro’s tonight and wanted to have today off so he
could prepare.”  The look on her face was priceless.

   “Leandro’s?  Ana, this is huge.  You know what this means
don’t you?  He’s going to put a ring on it.”  

    I acted
surprised, but couldn’t help that the thought had entered my mind
also.  “Do you think?  I don’t know,” I mused.  

   “Come on
Ana, please.  It has to be that.  What are you
wearing?”  

   “I don’t know, I was kinda hoping you would come to the
shops with me after work and help me choose an outfit.”  Her face
lit up.  

   “Of course I will,” She beamed.  

    The rest of the day
seemed to drag on but then it always does when you’re trying to hurry
time along.  Jessie and I went to the local Fairfax Mall, where I
bought a beautiful white fitted dress with black stripes down the
side.  It looked very elegant and fitting for any occasion.  

   “Is that the dress that Ana Sinclair becomes Fiancée to Jake Bennett
this evening I wonder?”  

    I nudged Jessie but couldn’t escape the
fixed grin on my face that never seemed to wane lately.  We both
then bought some new shoes for the autumn weather and Jessie a new
handbag.  By the time we were finished it was 6:30pm and I had to
get back for reservations at 8pm.

I
rushed back home, singing along to the music on the way, excitement
growing the closer I got to home.  When I did get there I spot a
Jeep parked outside the house.  I pulled into the driveway and
quickly made my way to the door.  “Jake?”  I cried. 
“Jake, I think you’ll love the new dress I bought.”  No
answer.  I decide to go make my way into the kitchen.  “Jake
whose car is that parked…”