Take a Breath (Take 1) (35 page)

    He smiles, “Oh baby, it would be my
pleasure.”  

    We set off after Jake makes sure I get in the car
safely and zooms across to his side to start the car.  He seems
anxious to get out of here as I am and it feels as though I don’t let
out a breath until we’re on the I-495, heading back home. 

When
pulling into the drive at home, Matthew comes bouncing out the door
like he’s been there all day waiting, and gives me a big hug.  I
welcome it wholeheartedly.  Once he retreats I see tears in his
eyes which set off a fresh batch of my own.  I had never seen
Matthew cry and I certainly didn’t want to be the cause of it. 
“Hey, don’t be upset Matthew, I’m fine.  Look at me.  I’m
ok.”  I hold his face in my hands and he nods trying hard to
compose himself.  

   “I’ve been going insane with worry Ana, everyone
has and, my jerk off father wouldn’t let me come see you whilst you
were in hospital.”  

    Jake slams the boot of his car a bit more
forcefully than he should of, obviously angry at Matthew’s
annoyance.  I feel I have to say something to calm the
situation.  “Look Matthew, he was right to make you stay, your
studies are important especially now.”  He looked like he wanted
to argue the point but the expression on my face stopped him.  I
think he had said enough.

We
strolled back into the house with Matthew’s arm wrapped tightly around
me like he was afraid I’d disappear.  I can’t believe how tall he
is getting.  He’s towering over me already.  

   “You feel like
you’ve lost weight Ana.  Obviously hospital food doesn’t agree
with you.  I’ll make you some noodles if you like?”  

    He seems
eager to be doing something and I don’t want to disappoint him, “That
would be nice, thank you Matthew.”  He goes running towards the
kitchen as I take in the full view of the living room filled with
flowers.  Matthew remembers and turns round.

   “They’ve been
arriving all day for you Ana.  Everybody’s so happy it’s all
finally over and that you’re safe.”  

    I feel overwhelmed with
emotion.  I walk over to a bunch of pink orchids and read the
card. 

   ‘Ana, We’re all so happy you are safe and I’m well on the
mend.  Get well soon, all my love Joe, Sally and family. 
P.S.  It’s a girl!’  

    Tears spring my eyes.  I’m so happy
for them and I’m also really glad Joe doesn’t seem to be holding a
grudge.  I wouldn’t blame him if he did.  Jake wraps his arms
around me from behind, and I lean my head into him.  

   “Joe’s wife
is pregnant?”  

    He had obviously read the card over my
shoulder.  “Yes, he told me in the car on the way back to the
house that day.  I asked him to let me know how they got on at the
hospital.  They were going for a scan and he wanted to know the
sex of the baby.”  Jake inhales my scent.  “I must smell
awful after being in that hospital for four days.”  I feel him
nuzzle his nose into the back of my neck.  

   “You always smell so
wonderful.”  

    I turn round, wrap my arms around him and give him a
light kiss.  “That’s very kind of you to say so Jake, but I would
still love to get a shower as soon as I’m done with my noodles. 
I’m starving.”  Jake laughs and pats me on the backside.  I
look at the other notes attached to the flowers.  There are some
colourful Chrysanthemum’s from Jessie wishing me well and begging me to
call as soon as I get the note.  I must give her a ring after my
shower.  There’s a big bunch of summer flowers from everyone in
offices and another surprise one from Mandy.  I pick the note up.

   ‘I’m so sorry to hear about your ordeal.  I hope you get well soon
and looking forward to seeing you back healthy at work.  Love
Mandy.  P.S.  I’m still going to hold you to that
drink.’  

    I laugh at that and show Jake the note.  Everyone
seems to like there P.S.’ on their cards to me today.  Jake looks
at it and raises an eyebrow.  

   “A drink ha, when was this
planned?”  

    I sit down and sigh, “Jake, seriously, you’re going to
get all caveman on me now?”  His face softens as he sits next to
me.  

   “Yes, sorry.  I didn’t mean for it to come out like
that.  I guess some things never change.”

Chapter 29

The
rest of the afternoon into the evening went on really well. 
Matthew brought out chicken flavoured noodles for everyone which tasted
great but my throat was still sore, which didn’t help.  It was
hard to eat all of it up, but I thanked Matthew for making the effort
for me.  I took a couple of the tablets the doctor gave me to help
ease the pain a little which did help after a while.  We talked
about what had been happening for the last few days and the mention of
Cindy made Matthew wince a bit.  “What’s wrong Matthew, has
something happened?” I asked.  

   “No, it’s not that.  It’s just
I did mention to dad about her coming over and he said we would have to
see as you needed your rest.”  

    I look at Jake and his face is not
amused.  “Don’t be silly.  I’m as fit as a fiddle.  I
want to see her.  Jake, she can come over can’t she?  Maybe
this Friday or Saturday?”  Matthew beams and looks at Jake
expectantly.  

   “Ok, that’s fine.  Invite her over
Friday.”  

    He gives us a big hug and runs to the phone to call
Cindy.  

   “Are you sure about this Ana?  You’re more important
at the moment, Cindy can wait.”  

   “Jake, stop worrying I’m
fine.  I’m really looking forward to it in fact.  I need the
normality back in my life.  I want things to go back to the way
they were, and just get on with things without any fuss.”  Jake
pulls me into him.

   “You’re amazing do you know that?”  

    I bury my
head in his chest, not wanting to let go.  “You’re pretty awesome
yourself Mr Bennett.” He kisses the top of my head.

   “I love you
Ana.  I don’t want to ever have you taken away from me like that
again.  I never want to feel that hopeless again, ever.  It
was torture.”  

   “I love you too Jake.  I’m not going
anywhere.  This is where I want to be.”  I stare into his
beautiful piercing green eyes.  Jake almost speaks when Matthew
comes in the room.  

   “Sorry, erm, that was Cindy.  She says
that she would be honoured to come round on Friday for dinner.”  

    I
chuckle at Matthew’s bashfulness.  

   “Honoured?  I wonder if
she’ll feel that way once sat round the dinner table with us a for a
few minutes.”  

    I slap Jake’s arm and he cowers, “Hey, we’re not
that bad.  I’m sure she’ll love us.  We’ll certainly make her
feel welcome Matthew.” He smiles at me in gratitude.  “Right, I’m
off upstairs.  I really need to take a shower.”  

    I make my
way upstairs with Jake following behind with all my belongings from the
hospital.  I set myself down on the bed feeling exhausted from the
day.  I rub my shoulder.  

   “Is that sore?”  Jake
asks.  

   “A little,” I answer.  

   “Hold on one moment.” 
Jake rushes to the bathroom and runs a bath.  

    He then glides back
over to me and starts rubbing my shoulders.  It feels great. 
I moan my appreciation.  

   “Is that good?”  

   “Hmmm, yes thank
you.”  We stay like that for a while until the bath seems
full.  

   “Right, I think this is ready for you now.”  

    I begin
to get up, when he rushes over and picks me up.  “You know, it’s a
funny thing Jake,” I declare.  

   “Aha, what’s that?”  

   “There’s
this part of everyone’s anatomy called legs.  Marvellous invention
made by god.  I believe he made them so people could walk.”  

    He chuckles a little, “I just love carrying you everywhere. 
Especially if it means holding you close to me.”  

    I give him a
cheeky grin and sigh.  How could I argue with that? 

Jake
takes special care of me after that.  He undresses me and
carefully places me in the bath.  He bathes me tenderly not once
trying to squeeze a nipple or cop a feel, nothing.  I almost feel
neglected and wonder if Jake now feels repulsed by me after what has
happened.  This sudden thought has me panicking.  Does he not
want me anymore?  Once he finishes bathing me he gently lifts me
out of the bath and towels me dry.  Again he doesn’t touch me or
linger his gaze on me the way he used to.  The concept threatens
to burn tears in my eyes, but the quick stabbing in my throat helps me
to hold them back.  He doesn’t want me and the thought hurts more
than anything imaginable.  He disappears for a few moments and
comes back with a white fitted slip on nightie.  He carefully
slides it over my head and takes me to the bed where he makes me
comfortable.  

   “Better?”  He asks.  

   “Much better thank
you.  He gets up. 

   “Where are you going?”  

   “Don’t worry I’ll
be back.  I’m just going to speak to Matthew a few minutes and
I’ll come straight back up.”  

    He wanders off and I lay there
feeling a bit miffed and confused.  Normally Jake is all over me,
touching me everywhere.  He has always known how to make me feel
wanted and special, but now there’s nothing.  Instead I feel
isolated and undesirable.  The thought rattles me through my very
core.  I turn round to one side, grabbing the sheets and hugging
them to me, when Jake makes his entrance.  

   “I told Matthew we were
having an early night.  I just thought it would be nice to hold
you for a while before we went to sleep.  Tomorrow we will do
whatever you want.”  

   “What about work Jake?”  

    He huffs,
“Don’t be silly Ana, I’m not leaving you.  I’ve taken a couple of
days off to take care of you.”  

    He gets undressed to his boxer
shorts and climbs in.  He slides himself over to me and soon we
are spooning. 

 
I
wait for a while for him to do something, anything, but I’m
disappointed once again.  I can’t hold it back now.  “Jake?” 

   “Yes babes?”  

   “Why don’t you want to touch me?”  I ask.  

   “I’m sorry?”  

   “You’re here with me yes, but you won’t touch
me.  Do you not want me anymore?”  His head snaps up as he
pulls me over to face him.  

   “Ana, you don’t realise how much it
has killed me not to.  I was trying to be gentle for your
sake.  I didn’t know whether you wanted me to be pouring myself
all over you like always when you’ve only just come back from the
hospital.  What kind of jerk off would I be if I were to do
that?  When I was rubbing your shoulders and you were making those
noises, it took every ounce of strength not to turn you over and make
love to you then and there, and then there was the bath.  That was
torture in itself.  I just want you to see that I can control
myself.  Well, sort of, but its agony.”  

    I felt elated, he
still wanted me.  “Jake?”  I ask, noting the happiness in my
voice.  

   “Yes?”  He implores.  

   “Please make love to
me.”  

    He strokes my face, “Really?”  

   “Really, really,” I
state.  

   “Then it will be my pleasure Miss Sinclair.”  

    With
that he kissed me and made sweet tender love to me for hours.  It
was bliss.  Eventually feeling sated and relaxed we both drifted
off into a wonderful sleep.

Chapter 30

The
next day started off very much how it ended and we stayed in bed for an
eternity, laughing and joking and Jake fussing over me every five
minutes.  We were wrapped up in each other’s arms elated, happy
and hopeful of the future.  Once we did finally did get out of bed
and feed ourselves, I thought it a nice opportunity to get some lengths
done in the pool, to which Matthew later came in and decided to join
me.  We had fun splashing around and even had a couple of races
before it got too much for my lungs and had to give it up.  Jake
quickly reprimanded me and told me to take it easy.  I think he
found my lease of life hard too hard to comprehend after what I had
just gone through.  I got myself dried off and left Jake and
Matthew to play football with one another.  They needed some
father, son time.  Jake has been devoting way too much attention
on me lately.  As I make my way inside I realise I didn’t call
Jessie yesterday.  Man, she’s going to be pissed.  I get to
the phone and dial the number at work. 

“Jessie,
it’s me Ana.”  She practically screams down the phone bursting my
eardrums.  

   “Ana, you never called, are you ok?  It’s all over
the news about what happened.”  

    I had completely forgotten that
this sort of thing would be going on outside these four walls. 
“Oh god, they haven’t printed my name have they?”  I ask. 
         “No, don’t worry, the papers keep ringing up hoping someone will let it
slip who you are, but they ain’t got nothing girl.  No one’s
talking.”