Authors: Theodora Koulouris
“Do not fear her, Loula. She is harmless,” Billal whispered.
“Who is she? Why does she stare at me so?” I tried to shake away the eerie feeling unsuccessfully.
“It is rumored that she is a witch. She claims to have visions, and she sells spells and enchantments. Do not mind her, Loula,” he added quickly. “She is old and senile. Come, the shop with the gowns is around the corner. I am sure you will love what the headmistress has made for you,” he said excitedly as he pulled me alongside him.
As we turned the corner, I could not help but glance one more time at the old woman. I saw her eyes open wide and her hand reach out to me. I quickly turned around and held tighter on to Billal’s hand, trying to forget the woman, but I felt her stabbing stare on my back. It was all too creepy for me. I climbed the two steps to the shop with Billal and did everything I could to relax my shaken mind that was running all over the place with fear.
Walking into the parlor, I saw a huge room full of glamour. Lavender curtains trimmed the windows all around the store. Candle chandeliers hung from the ceiling, tapestries decorated the walls, and lavish carpeting was throughout the entire parlor. The French couches and cherrywood side tables were of exquisite taste. Fine crystal decorated the tables, and there was even a crystal bowl full of chocolates. Rumor had it that chocolates were of aphrodisial quality. I stole a glance at Billal and caught him eyeing them with interest. God only knew what was going through his mind.
Billal leaned his head near my ear and whispered, “Relax, Loula. I don’t need chocolates to get a fix! I can prove it if you like,” he said with a wolfish grin.
I rolled my eyes and quickly looked away, lest he got any more smart ideas.
The head seamstress eyes lit up when she saw us. She was a dainty mistress, with a touch of class, and she threw Billal a smile to die for. I raised an eyebrow. Clearly she wanted Billal and wasted no time showing her affection for him as she walked up to us.
“Welcome to my parlor.” She swept her gaze from me to Billal. “I was expecting you today.” Billal took her hand and kissed it. “It is good to see you again,” she purred batting her eyelashes flirtatiously.
I rolled my eyes and waited to be introduced.
“Please allow me to introduce to you our lady of the court, Loula.” Billal stepped aside and pulled me closer to him, a gesture that the mistress did not miss.
I could tell that she was not happy to see me as her eyes scanned me from head to toe, regarding me thoughtfully. I tried my hardest to resist the urge to slap her face. I needed that gown she had for me, so I smiled and curtsied in her direction.
“We are here for the gown, my lady, and I hope you have finished it as you had promised,” Billal said, hopeful.
“Have I ever let you down?” she purred.
I sensed that Billal was getting uncomfortable and I thought to come to his rescue. “Can you please bring out the gown, mistress? I have been waiting all week to see it.” I said, flashing her an innocent smile.
I detected a hint of anger in her eyes as she marched off into the next room. Seconds later, she came back with the gown in her hands. She walked over to the dressing room, hung it up, and told me to try it on to see if the fit was good. I complied with her wishes, and I followed her into the dressing room, closing the door behind us. I undressed, took the fashionable gown, and slipped into it without really paying attention to its details. The mistress buttoned all the buttons behind me, stood back, and appraised me from head to toe. She looked pleased and asked me to step out of the room, opening the door and walking out as I followed after her.
As soon as Billal’s eyes rested on me, he drew in a sharp inhalation of breath. I knew he was immensely pleased at what he saw. His eyes feasted upon me, and I blushed, not knowing why he was overreacting until I turned around and looked in the huge mirrors. Then I understood.
I looked absolutely beautiful. The gown was one of a kind. This gown was made to perfection. I must say that the mistress had plenty of talent. I turned slowly around, and the soft white material wrapped around my legs and then cascaded down to the carpet.
Just then, the door flew open, and two couples walked in. The mistress went to greet them, allowing us a few minutes alone. Billal could not tear his gaze away from mine as he stared hungrily at me. His eyes were blazing with desire.
“Loula, you look very beautiful. You take my breath away,” he said hoarsely. And without meaning to, I dropped my gaze to his groin. His bulge was huge and pressing against his pantaloons. Embarrassed, I quickly looked away.
Billal leaned in closer to me and whispered, “I wish you would reconsider your choice in choosing a lover, Loula. You know very well only I am capable of making you happy. Nidal has his duties to the crown. I am a free man to love and to choose any woman I desire. And I am pledging my love to you, Loula,” he said convincingly, trying to reassure me that he spoke the truth. “I can love you way more than he can. Please reconsider. Nidal will only break your heart,” he pleaded.
I looked at him in silence. I had not a thing to say.
Billal took me by the shoulders and pulled me close to him. His eyes were blazing passion. His voice was hoarse as he continued, “I can give you a life of happiness. I can love you like you deserve to be loved! I can protect you from harm. Nidal cannot! Has not! He says he loves you, but he does not show it.” Billal softly shook me. “Loula, tonight he will break your heart again. He will follow orders and marry Shaeena! He will break your heart, and I will be there to pick up the pieces!” he said softly. And he dropped his hands, walked over to the window, and looked out on to the cobblestone street, leaving me staring after him, speechless.
Deep down inside, I knew that Billal believed he spoke the truth. I knew without a doubt that tonight was going to be a difficult night. But I had hope, and I believed in Nidal. He would stand up for our love. I knew in his heart of hearts that he wanted me and not Princess Shaeena.
Billal had been by my side through thick and thin. He was my protector, my friend. He was my everything. Everything except my lover! I wished I could tell him that I loved him too. I wanted nothing more than to make him happy. But I could not say this to him. I loved Nidal, and that would never ever change. Tonight, Nidal would tell the world how much I meant to him and how he and I would be together forever.
The mistress walked to Billal’s side, leaned close to him, and whispered something for his ears alone. Billal searched the room for me, and his eyes rested on mine. A longing was in his eyes as he silently pleaded for me to reconsider my decision. The mistress pulled back and followed his gaze to mine, and I saw her pretty facial features twist with hate.
Billal was oblivious to anything around him except me. He stared hopelessly at me as if his life depended on my next words. I walked over to him and placed a soft kiss on his lips. I knew that display would be an eyeful for everyone in the parlor, including the mistress, who I was sure wanted to gouge my eyes out by now.
Billal said not one word. He just closed his eyes and let out a sigh full of anguish. He paid handsomely for my gown and asked the mistress to send the garment to the royal carriage. Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the shop while everyone, including the mistress, watched the display with interest.
Once outside, Billal turned to me and demanded, “Why did you kiss me, Loula?”
I knew not how to answer that, as I stared silently at him. His full lips pressed together angrily as he waited for my reply. His beautiful eyes sparkled with anger.
“How dare you play with my feelings!” His dark gaze measured mine. Then his scowl deepened, and he pulled me to him, close enough where I felt his heart pounding rapidly through his shirt. “You have bewitched me, and I am suffering!” He pounded his hand on his chest. “Release me of this pain, Loula,” he begged in a tortured voice.
Can it be possible for someone to love two people at the same time? I wanted desperately to love this man. I wanted him to hold me in his arms forever, and I wanted to wipe away the tears that were threatening to spill forth from his eyes. He was beautiful. He was every woman’s dream come true. I loved him to no end. But I did not love him more than I did Nidal. I lowered my gaze to my feet, ashamed I could not give him what he so richly deserved.
Billal regarded me thoughtfully. “I know you care for me. I can see it in your eyes. I have seen desire there too. If you allow your mind just for a second to be free of Nidal, I know you could fall in love with me,” he said passionately.
I looked up at him, and the trail of tears now flowed freely down my face. I placed my hands on his chest and felt it tighten as he braced himself for my next words. “This is not by choice, Billal, that I hurt you. You are very important to me. You must know that by now.” I cried, and Billal drew a sharp breath and closed his eyes.
I saw tears on his long eyelashes that slowly glided down his cheeks unashamedly. Billal’s hands gently pulled me into his embrace and held me tight.
“Can you at least answer me this, Loula?” he asked softly. The life was already gone from his voice. “Is there even a small hint of a possibility that maybe you can feel for me anything at all one day? Because if there is, I shall wait until the end of time for you.”
The sudden realization blew me away. In truth, I loved him very much, dangerously enough. I wanted to tell him this but could not. Revealing such to him would be a disaster. Nothing good could come out of it. My heart belonged to Nidal, but a part of me wanted Billal as well. A small part of me wished that things could have been different. Had I met him first, I could have easily loved him the way he deserved to be loved. Now as I stood here in his arms, I knew I could never tell him of my feelings because he would fight tooth and nail to make me his and I would lose Nidal forever. The decision to keep silent was easy for me. I wanted Nidal. I had always wanted Nidal, and I would let nothing stand in the way.
Billal read all the mixed feeling in my eyes and dropped his hands to his side. He walked away from me, and I silently followed behind him. I looked around and saw that we had had an audience during our little heartfelt moment. Embarrassed, I looked down at the pavement, trying not to bring more attention my way. Billal’s long strides got him a few feet away from me, and as I tried to catch up with him, I noticed the old lady dressed in black come toward me.
I picked up my pace and tried to avoid confrontation with her, but she was quick to catch up to me, grabbing the back of my gown, and pulling it, chanting, “Death is in the air. I feel it! Change the course of your life, or you shall bring death upon yourself and your soul mate.” She cried desperately, “The visions are clear. Both of you will suffer, for it is written. Your fates have been sealed even before the both of you were born.”
This woman was mad. I tried to run from her, but she quickly grabbed my wrist tightly and held on to me for dear life. She looked at me with huge eyes, and I saw fear in them.
“Please, you must not go back to the prince!” she begged desperately. “Leave him be! Or both of you will suffer death! Save yourselves! You can change the course of your life if you do the right thing and walk away from him. Do not let death win!”
What is she saying? Could she know the future? Or is she mad?
My head was spinning with pain.
What does she know of my fate?
“My visions always come true! But you have the power to change your fate if you choose to. Destiny can be cheated if you play your cards well.” Then she let go of my arm and walked away muttering to herself, leaving me staring after her, dumbfounded.
Billal raced to my side at that moment and anxiously asked, “What, pray tell, was that all about?”
I looked up at him and nervously asked him to take me home. I had had enough drama today to last me a lifetime. Everything that had transpired had blown me away.
We rode back in silence, each in our own thoughts. It was a bumpy ride, and our bodies were thrown together every time the carriage shook. Billal circled his arm around my shoulder and brought me close to him. I felt loved and protected. If things were different, I would have chosen Billal as my husband. He was a good man, and I loved him, but not enough to choose him over Nidal.
Finally, the carriage came to a halt in front of the palace. I looked out the little window, and looked straight ahead at the palace window, and caught Nidal looking right at us. Billal jumped out first and helped me get down from the carriage, and the driver whisked the horses and carriage away to the stables. Billal informed me that the servants would bring in the packages as he gently took my hand in his and pulled me up the stairs to the palace. I knew Nidal was watching, and I hoped he was not getting angry with me.
The rest of the day went by very slowly. I was counting the minutes and seconds until it was time for me to start getting dressed for the ball. My personal maids were excited to help me dress. When they saw the gown I was to wear, they nearly fainted with approval. They helped me slip into it, and I stood back, admiring myself as I twirled around. The circle skirt opened up, and the cloth flew around me, wrapping me up in elegance. I looked like a princess, and I knew every woman tonight at the ball would envy me. But none of that mattered. All I wanted was for Nidal to take me in his arms and claim me as his bride. In this elegant, white gown, I looked like a bride, Nidal’s bride. I smiled to myself and sighed.
Nidal is mine, now and forever and into eternity
.