Surviving Him (15 page)

Katie can see I am completely squirming, and I can’t answer shit in the firing line of questions. She saves me with glasses of white wine, vodka, buck fast, and Jack Daniels. It is going to be a long, long night, and I hope I won’t be the one under fire for all of it.

I hope my friends will share more of themselves with me tonight as I have with them, so I can be there for them, too. It could bring us all closer to each other, a lot more than we are right now.

Knowledge is power as they say, not as in the power I need to control everything way, but I will now be able to help you sort of way.

“I was preparing dinner for myself and the kids, and my man took the eight inch knife out of my hand, pinned my hand to the kitchen counter, and tried to chop off my fingers,” Katie announces to the group while chopping up
bits of fruit to add to the shots. My eyes move straight to hers and I g
ive her an ‘it’s ok, babe’ look.

Katy continues, “He likes to be in control all the time, and when he felt like he was slipping, and I wasn’t quite doing as I was told, he would let me know he was still in control. He sure showed me.”

Katy looks at the knife and clenches her jaw, closes her eyes and swallows like she absorbing
the
memories, and all the pain that’s vibrating from her trembling body, right there in front of us.

“Hey, babe. Come here.”

I take the knife out of my lovely best friend’s hand, and put my arms around her body. I hold on tight for dear life, whispering into her ear, “It’s ok, honey. It’s ok, I’m here. We are all here for you, chick. Always.”

I really want to kick her soon to be ex-husband right in the bollocks. Maybe string him up for doing this to one of the most beautiful people I have ever met in my life.

How fucking dare he,I think to myself, trying to control my temper.

I swig back my shot and shout, “Let’s get steaming, ladies.”

Rose slams the iPod into the dock and turns up the volume.

My phone vibrates on the kitchen table, sounding like a strangled cat.

“Really, what is it with your phone, Dana? You seriously need to get a new one. It gets worse every day,” Mandy informs me of my useless, ever deteriorating phone, like I don’t know it’s shit.

“Well, there’s not a lot I can do with it, Mand. As long as I can call and text on it, it’s going to have to do for now at least,” I tell a very pissed but kind of mellow Mandy. I like very mellow Mandy. She giggles, a lot. I check my phone. It is a text from Lee saying I hadn’t checked in.

“Oh dear,” I say to no one in particular and press the call button.

“Hey. He says.

“Fuck. I’m never drinking again.” Lee I will have to call you back tomorrow.

I bid everyone goodnight.

Kayleigh and Amy come flying out of my mum’s front door and straight into my arms.

“Hey you two. I’ve missed you.”

I cuddle them and hold on tight, kissing the tops of each of their heads. I hate to be away from them for too long. My mum stands on her front step, smiling at us in a huddle.

“Hey, Mum.” I smile back at her. She waves me into the house.

“Hello, Dana. The girls have been good as gold. We’ve had great fun baking chocolate cake and all sorts.”

“I hope you saved some for me.”

“We did, Mum. It’s in a little doggy bag,” Amy shouts in excitement at me.

“I look forward to eating that.”

“You fancy a coffee?”

I really need more caffeine.

“Yeah that would be good. Thanks Mum.”

After I enjoy my caffeine fix, I head for the bus to get us back home, if you can call it home. I stand with my girls watching the world pass us by. Nearby, an older white Ford Focus crawls up along the road, and I immediately become hyper aware as the slow droning sound of the engine sends goose bumps crawling right over my skin.

“Shit! Let’s go, girls.”

“Mum, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, baby. We can walk over to the next stop.”

My steps quicken. My heartbeat accelerates, matching the pace of my footsteps.

“Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Keep going,” I tell myself. We get closer and closer to the next bus stop near the shopping centre. I pull out my phone and turn it to silent. I send a group text to Logan, Rose, Lee, and Katy.

I discretely slide my phone back into my inside jacket pocket and turn to Kayleigh, telling her to switch her phone to silent.

“Where’s your phone, babe? Switch it to silent and hide it.” Kayleigh slowly did the same and slid her phone inside the back of her jeans.

“Mum, what’s happening? I’m scared.”

“It’s ok. Keep on walking, don’t look back. Everything will be just fine.”

It isn’t fine at all. In fact, it’s far from being fine. I catch a glimpse of the driver of the car, while I guide the girls across the busy road. I can’t believe my fucking eyes.

“What the hell am I gonna do?” I say as I urge the girls, to keep going, keep moving and not to look back. I look up to see the white car crawling up behind us. The street is quiet, too quiet actually. Why does it have to be so bloody quiet when I really need it to be busy?

“Just my fucking luck.” I mumble to myself.

My heart is pumping inside my chest, bursting to break out, but I keep going, quickening my steps. I feel my phone vibrate inside my jacket. I slowly pull it out and discretely look at the screen. Logan has sent me a message.

We rush for the next bus. Panic almost takes over my body, but my adrenaline is stopping it from doing so.

Logan would have to drive like a madman to get to us in two hours: an hour to get down from Scotland, and another hour to reach what will be our destination. I text him back, typing as fast as I can.

Not even a minute later my phone vibrates in my hand
.

Is he mad?

I reply
.

I hit send and slide the phone back into the inside pocket of my jacket, and scan the road. The traffic is picking up as we approach the bus stop. I see the number forty one bus behind a line of cars and we run, sprinting towards the stop and we wait for what feels like for fucking ever.

“There’s the bus into town, girls. We will be safe on there, than out here in the open.”

I look down into the beautiful eyes of my two terrified babies’, and I drop to my knees on the ground, keeping my hold on them, searching their eyes.

“Its ok, I promise. It’s all gonna
be ok.”

At that moment, the huge bus pulls into the bus stop. I keep my grip, hanging onto Kayleigh and Amy’s arms as tight as I can. I don’t want to ever let them go. I am so terrified, I’m trembling, but I manage to keep it together. We jump on the bus, and after paying the driver, I guide the girls up the staircase to the top of the bus, and take them to sit at the back, so I can look out of the window. It feels like forever before the bus starts to move out onto the road again.

“Oh my god.” I can’t breathe. What does Ian think he’s playing at? I really don’t want to know. He’s just trying to scare the shit out of me. What the hell does he want? “Mum, call Lee.”

I look towards Kayleigh as she drags me out of my panicked thoughts.

“Yeah. Good girl. I’ll call Lee.”

I retrieve my phone and call Lee. On the first ring he picks up.

“You ok? Where are you, Dana?” he asks.

“I’m on the number forty one bus heading into town. My ex is following us in a white Focus, and Logan can’t get to us straight away.”

“Fuck,” I hear him say.

“What?”

“Just stay on the bus. Text me when you get to town. If you have to get another bus do it. I’ll get to you as soon as I can.”

Then he was gone.

I scan the street through the back windows of the bus; no sign of the white Focus anywhere. My eyes swiftly search in between all the cars.

“Maybe he’s given up, Mum.”

He wouldn’t have given up that easily, would he?

“Maybe. I hope so, Amy.”

I keep scanning the street below us. It is full with traffic, but still no sign of the white Ford Focus. The bus keeps moving on route, rounding the corners as we slide from side to side on the back seat. My eyes flicker back and forth between every damn car.

“Fuck, there it is. Damn it.”

Why can’t he just leave us all alone? I focus my eyes again, searching my girls’ faces, seeing their scared, terrified expressions.

I also look back through the back window at the car that just won’t do one.

I mean really, we are in the middle of Manchester, what is he planning on doing in the middle of the afternoon, in front of hoards of people in broad daylight? We will just jump off this bus, try to find another one, and head back in the direction we just came from. It will give me an extra hour and waste more of Ian’s petrol. It’s a totally shit plan, but it’s all I’ve got, and it will have to do. It’s so worth a shot.

“Girls, we are going to jump off again in a minute and head to that bus stop there.” I point to where we’ll catch the next bus.

“Another bus? How many buses are we getting on today, Mum?”

I can’t answer that so I don’t. I just keep my eyes on the car, and on the waiting bus we need to catch. We pull into our bus stop, and quickly run down the stairs of the double decker, hanging onto each other’s arms, trying not to fall. Stopping just at the bottom, Kayleigh crashes straight into my back and Amy into Kayleigh’s back.

“Ouch,” we shriek together.

I grab hold of them in front of the doors, waiting for them to open. When they finally part, I pull the girls along with me, and we run across the road to the other bus stop.

There area few people standing, waiting in the line.

“This is good. This is good. This has got to be fucking good,” I repeat to myself over and over again, trying to convince myself that everything is going to be ok.

I am shaking with both terror and adrenaline, making the blood rush around my veins.

“I bloody hate that man. How very fucking dare he do this shit?” I say.

Another double decker bus arrives; same number, only heading back the way we had come.

“Come on. Come on open. Please just open those doors,” I’m talking to myself now. The bus makes some hissing and spitting sounds like it’s about to burst open. The doors swing open and I haul the girls up the steps to the bus driver and pay him.

“Let’s go find a seat.”

We run up the stairs and luckily the back seats are empty. I can’t see the car as I scan the road through each of the bus windows.

“Where is he now? I can’t see him girls.”

I dig out my phone and start typing a message to Logan.

I hit send.

I fidget from seat to seat, window to window, scanning the road below us in search of the car.