Surrender to Fate (Fate's Path Part One: A New Adult Romance Series) (28 page)

Not hearing anything from Matty and Adley was torturous, and at the same time, a blessing. Sarah now feared hearing any news at all, because if she had to hear that something had happened to her brother or Adley, she was certain it would be the end of her. She couldn’t even fathom how Henry and Tommy were faring, with Will being gone. If there was any mercy at all to be had, she hoped that Will would not be taken from them, too. All she could do was make her futile attempts at normalcy throughout the day, and keep breathing in and out, until they were home.

Even the weather could not be coaxed to share any warmth on their already desolate mood. The rainy season in California was formidable, and it actually made Sarah miss the soft flakes of snow that would fall silently and leave a blanket of diamonds back home. Here, the rain was gray and cold, and turned the ground into a mass of snaking water running through the muddy ruts. The soft soil of the garden was exceptionally vulnerable to the dismal torrent, and was no longer able to provide her a refuge from her reality. In all truths, she didn’t think she could bear to be in the garden again, now that every memory of the garden was saturated with Adley, and steeped with an agonizing desire to feel his arms around her.

As Sarah stared through the window, streaked with teardrops from the sky, Anne quietly walked over and stood behind her. Sarah closed her eyes as her mother ran her fingers through her hair and smoothed it down her back. She tried to let the soothing feeling of her mother’s hands bring her comfort like it always had, but that seemed like an unattainable task, even for magic hands.

“Sweetie? Your father has to run to town for some supplies before it gets completely dark. Do you want to come with us?”

Sarah turned to her mother, “You’re going, too?”

Anne thought for a moment and smiled warmly, “Yes, I thought I’d keep him company. Besides, I can’t stare at these walls anymore. I feel like they’re closing in on me.”

Sarah knew the exact feeling. She turned back to the window, remembering not too long ago that she would’ve stayed home, just to be able to spend time with Adley, alone. A familiar wave of nausea surged through her with the sharp reminder of the fact that Adley wasn’t here. And Matty wasn’t here, either. It was just the three of them now.

Sarah took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. In reality, she didn’t feel like doing anything. Even the smallest and most mundane tasks seemed to require so much energy that it all hardly seemed worth it.

“Oh, Mama, I don’t know.”

Anne ran her hands down Sarah’s hair again, “I know how you feel, sweetie, I do. Look at me, Sarah.”

Sarah turned to her mother, with every bit of will she had not to fall into a million pieces, and cry the tears that would change nothing.

“Your brother, and Adley, need us to be strong for them. You know that, right? And as difficult as it is, we have to, for them, because what they are doing, is for us. And, I promised your brother--” she paused, fighting back her own tears, “I promised him that we wouldn’t let this change us. He told me that he needed to know that when he thought of us, that we would be just how he always remembered. That is what he needed from us. Your brother might be thinking of us this very minute, Sarah. And if he is, he would not want us to be like this. I promised him, and you know that I don’t break promises.”

Sarah squeezed her eyes shut. That was just like Matty. He was more concerned for their well-being than his own. He knew what this would do to all of them, and he knew that by making their mother promise, that it would be done.

Sarah finally felt a fraction of helplessness lift from her. There was nothing she could do for Matty or Adley, except to do as they asked. It went against every notion she had, but she knew she needed to at least try to not spend every waking moment being miserable. She would do it, for them.

Sarah looked up at her mother, “I’ll get my coat.”

Anne put her arms around her and hugged tightly. “That’s my girl. Get my coat, too, please. I’ll tell your father that we’re ready to go. He’ll be happy you’re coming along. We need to spend some time all together.”

The trip to town seemed to breathe a little life into all of them. For Sarah, just being away from the farm where every square inch reminded her of either her brother, or Adley, was uplifting. They had all even managed to laugh when a huge gust of wind came along and blew Sarah’s umbrella forward, and turned it inside out, dragging her along with it. Laughter was the last thing any of them expected to be able to produce, as Sarah had been certain that she would never have anything to find humorous as long as Matty and Adley were in harm’s way. In fact, she felt quite guilty, once the laughter had stopped, until her mother looked at her and gave a knowing wink. Sarah knew that this is what Anne had promised to Matty, and Sarah hoped that somehow her brother could hear her laughter again, and that in some way, it made whatever he was going through even a fraction more tolerable.

The drive back to the farm was quiet, except for the scraping sound of the windshield wipers going across the glass. Anne was next to Edward, and Sarah became mesmerized staring out the passenger side window, listening to the rain, and remembering the rainstorm of the night she and Adley were in the barn loft.

Edward turned the truck from the main road onto the gravel road that had by now, become a slippery, sloshy mess from the relentless rain. As much as the trip to town provided a distraction for them all, Sarah was ready to be home and warm, out of the stinging rain.

The old farm truck barreled through the muddy ruts, as all three of them swayed back and forth in unison. Sarah had never seen the road in such a mess. When the rain stopped, and the mud dried, she knew that it would need to be completely worked over with a blade to make it somewhat smooth again. But that would require the rain to stop, and at this rate, she wasn’t sure that was going to happen any time soon.

Edward must’ve shared her sentiment as he grumbled, “This is ridiculous.”

Anne patted his knee, “Oh Edward, we’ll be home soon. But you better slow down a bit, or we’re going to get jerked off the road.”

“I think I can handle this, Anne. I’ve been driving plenty of years just fine. Besides, I don’t want to go too slow and get us stuck.”

“Well, we’re going to be stuck if we end up sailing off into that field right there. You think this mud is bad, think how that freshly plowed dirt is.”

“Christ, Annie. You act like I just started driving.”

Sarah shifted her weight, but just stared out the window. She knew better than to say anything. It was rare for her parents to argue, but it was an all too familiar feeling of when they were in Colorado and the stress of facing bankruptcy led to many arguments. The argument now was no doubt because of stress again. Only now, Sarah knew it was the stress of Matty going to war. This too shall pass. She hoped.

Anne took her hand from Edward’s leg and stared at him. “Don’t you curse at me, Edward. You used to drive too fast in the snow, and you’re driving too fast now.”

Edward turned and looked back at her, “Have I ever gotten us into an accident? Have I?”

But the next sound was not Anne answering him. It was Sarah screaming.

With her arm extended, pointing out the front windshield, Sarah yelled, “Look out, Daddy!”

Anne and Edward’s eyes shot forward but it was too late to avoid the path they were on. Edward jerked the wheel hard to the right in avoidance. Heading straight for an electric pole, he frantically spun the wheel back to the left. The old farm truck turned back to the road, and whether it was the rain, or the mud, or deep ruts caused by both, the farm truck’s tires left the road, and it turned over and over, until it finally came to a stop on the driver’s side.

Everything was still and quiet, except for the rain pinging against the metal of the truck. The last thing Sarah thought of before she closed her eyes, was Matty, and that their father had kept one of his promises to him. Edward first swerved to avoid hitting the one thing that was still their connection to Matty. Riley.

Fate’s Path (Part 2)

“You sorry sack of shit! How many times, Jake? How many times have you been told?”

Will let his head fall toward the thundering voice of Vernon. Squinting his eyes did nothing to alleviate his blurred vision. He could make out the shapes standing only a few feet away from him, and he knew what was going on. Vernon, no more than an inch away from Jake’s face, screaming and spitting his words, and Jake staring stone cold back at him.

Will tried to speak, but found nothing more than a whisper escaping from his lips. Before he could give a second attempt, he felt a heavy hand land gently on his shoulder. He slowly turned toward the hand, realizing as he did that every movement brought a sensation of pain.

“Don’t move, son. Just sit still.” William knew his father’s voice so well. The thickness and fear was palpable.

“I’m...okay.” It didn’t matter if he had the strength to talk, or if he should even be attempting to. He actually didn’t know if he was okay or not. All he wanted to do was change the sound of his father’s voice.

Henry moved to William’s line of sight. If William thought the sound of his voice was bad, the look on his face was infinitely worse. “The doctor’s on his way.” Henry’s brow was creased in worry and his words were thick, as if something were impeding his throat. His breaths were heavy and rapid, and William could see his chest rising and falling as if he had just run a race.

“Wha...what happened?” The clouds were slowly lifting, and William closed his eyes, wondering if the visions of logs and screaming could’ve been a dream. The bits and pieces that were flooding his mind didn’t seem real. If it weren’t for the pain, that was extremely real, he would’ve bet everything that this was all an imagination.

Henry swallowed hard and paused. “The logs. The logs rolled off the truck, and right on top of you. You’ve been knocked out cold for…for, I don’t know how long. They told me you pushed Jake out of the way and…,” he closed his eyes and looked to the sky. His chin began to tremble as he continued, “And I almost lost you, boy. I could’ve lost you, William.” Henry dropped his chin to his chest, and his shoulders began jerking forward.

“But...you didn’t, Dad.”

*********

The light was bright, so blinding that Sarah squeezed her eyes shut. Despite the momentary reprieve from the glare, she realized that she didn’t want to keep her eyes closed anymore. The confusion that flooded her mind wouldn’t let them stay closed and forced her to open them again. Despite her mind’s persuasion to open them fully, her eyes barely fluttered awake, and it took all the strength she had, mentally and physically, to stop them from falling again. They were so heavy that she wanted to lift her arms to her face and use her fingertips to assist in the endeavor, but her arms were weighted even more so than her eyelids.

Her mind darted in all directions of her sanity, searching for the answers that would illuminate what was happening. But everything seemed so foggy and thick in her mind that even if there were answers, they couldn’t have been recognized as such. She could at least take stock in what she was sure of. She was lying down, but not in her bed. The way the light was artificial and intense, she knew she wasn’t even in her house. She knew she would have to force her eyes against their will to open if she had any hope of putting the pieces together.

Compelling her eyes once again to cooperate with her mind’s demands, she felt her eyelids begrudgingly begin to flicker open. Like the curtain slowly rising on a stage, the blackness released its grip on her senses and she focused her eyes in front of her. The source of the glaring light was her first insight to her location. Bright, fluorescent lights gave off the slightest buzz to accompany the already harsh illumination. Squinting, but not wanting to allow her eyes to close again, she tilted her chin to her chest to allow a broader scope of the room.

Despite wanting and needing to know what was happening, the sight that met her filled her with so many more questions than answers, that she almost wished she could close her eyes and start the process all over again, but this time to awake to her house, to the ranch, to something familiar and safe. Her eyes scanned the tiny room. White walls, a white, porcelain sink, a pinkish curtain on a round silver rod, pulled to one side of her bed. She sucked in one breath as she realized that this was not anything that she recognized as hers, and most certainly did not make her feel safe. She was in a hospital.

Once the realization had time to fully absorb, panic settled in and her heart began to thump in her ears. The questions came pounding onto her head so quickly, that this time, she did close her eyes, trying to make sense out of frightening unknowns that were now her reality.

With her eyes bolting open, she did the only thing she could think of. She tried to lift her shoulders from the bed, but found that would to be an impossible request from her body. Pain surged through her and she grimaced as she fell the couple of inches back to the pillow. A blinding pain was beginning to sting behind her eyes and she forced her hand that must’ve weighed as much as an anvil, up to her forehead to rub away the pain. But touching her forehead only sent another bolt of pain through her. With ginger fingertips, she felt for the cause of pain. Carefully rubbing along her brow, her fingers found a series of stiff threads protruding from her skin. Not wanting to exasperate the already piercing pain, she let her fingers drop down the side of her face to her cheek. There were no more threads to be felt, but every inch of her face hurt. She imagined her face in shades of blue and purple, as that would be the only color it could be with such painful bruising. She let her hand glide off her face and back to the bed.

She would have to call for help. But a terrifying thought intruded before she could think further. Her voice. The thought of summoning the strength to talk, let alone yell for help, seemed as daunting as trying to move. She was afraid to even try. She couldn’t ignore the fear that enveloped her now. Would she even be able to speak?

Taking a deep breath, as deep as her pained ribcage would allow, she knew she would need to try. Fearing what might, or what might not, come out of her mouth, she gradually let her jaw muscles loosen, and let her lips come apart slightly. She had no moisture to speak of in her mouth, but she licked her cracked lips anyway. Forcing her mouth to open a fraction more, she mustered everything she could.

“Hhhh…elp?” A cracked whisper filled the silence. The sound of her voice was unrecognizable to her. It was as if someone had opened an old steamer trunk that had been stored in an attic for decades, until someone finally opened the lid, only to release a puff of dust and dry air.

It wasn’t much, but it was something. Sarah was filled such relief, that for a moment she had to close her eyes and savor the elation she felt in her small victory. She could talk, she had a voice, and she had the strength to use it. Fueled by the glimmer of hope, she swallowed hard, and tried again.

“HH…elp!” Although in reality, it wasn’t much louder than the first time, Sarah felt that it was, and continued with the momentum that she was feeling. “H…elp! Someone…help?”

It was exhausting, and Sarah closed her eyes to catch her breath. She reopened them at the sound of soft, squishing sounds of shoes entering her room.

“Oh my heavens, you’re awake.”

Sarah blinked, taking in the new information. She watched as a tall, slender woman, with black-rimmed glasses resting on her nose, and dressed in an all-white nurse’s uniform, pulled a clipboard from the side of the bed and began scratching notes. When she was done, she slipped the clipboard into its slot by the bed, and smiled warmly.

“Hello, my dear. Nice to see those pretty eyes. Now, I know you’re scared. I am Nurse Tillie, and you are in the hospital.” She smiled in such a way that it reminded Sarah of how her grandmother used to look at her. It was a look of comfort and compassion. Sarah was doing her best to keep the panic from rising in her chest, and the more she looked into Nurse Tillie’s soothing eyes, the more she wondered if somehow she knew her.

Despite the comfort of Nurse Tillie, the alarm in Sarah couldn’t be quieted. Knowing that she was in the hospital wasn’t enough. What she needed was for the nurse to fill in the remaining blanks, and that was what scared her the most. Where were her parents?